Child refusing to make lunch -- how far do I take this?

[Anonymous]

I have packed my HS DD lunch many times. There are times when she seems so tired and overwhelmed by all her classes and ex curriculars. It is the least I can do to show my love. Just simple veggies, sandwiches, or what is left over from dinner.

[Anonymous]

I still pack my kids' lunches - 4th and 6th.
I think it's fine for an 8 year old to do it, if they choose.
But no way would I punish them for refusing.

[Anonymous]

our kids have been doing it since before 3rd grade. There must be some underlying pampering going on because most kids really like making their own lunch

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree that it's important to teach kids life skills and help them develop independence, but I really think people on this board take it way too far. I will be make by my third grader's lunch this year, OP. Will I make it in high school? I'm don't plan to, but I'm sure there will be times he is up late studying or at a sports practice and I will help him out. I believe that's what parents do, and what family does. My DH and I help each other out and care for each other in a similar way. Expecting children to basically care for themselves starting at age 4 is not the way I want to raise my children.

I also help my DH out (and he me). But my child has to learn things (to walk, to ride a bike, to make a lunch). These things are tought in childhood. At 1st grade we make lunch together so she could see what a healthy lunch looked like and what I wanted her to pack. I helped with the hard things - and she got to pick some of the things to put in her lunch. Once she was able to handle it - we went from there.

I get it - you want to pinterest or instagram your pretty lunches for your friends, but the fact that your 1st or 2nd grade kids can't pack a lunch for themselves speaks more to your parenting then your children.

[Anonymous]

3rd grade is old enough to make simple lunches like slapping together a sandwich. But if he has limited practice in the kitchen, I would start slowly. I don't recall when I started making lunches but I definitely did it by the time I was in 6th grade.

Making lunches and doing types of chores are relative to each family's circumstances. I remember my mom telling me that she started cooking and ironing by the time she was 6 years old. I'm not sure if all kids could/would do this. But her mom thought she could do it. She is from another country and this is after a war. Her father was killed and her mom had to go to work leaving her with a younger sister.

[Anonymous]

You or dh should make his lunch. I've known of 3 kids that make their own lunch in elem. school. My dd has told me about all the junk that kids who make their lunch pack.

If you want to teach responsibility, come up with other chores.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wtf? I thought it was a parents job to do this til at least 8th grade. You know, feeding your child and all.

Your job is to make the money and buy the supplies. Larlo's job is to put the supplies together and take it to school with him. This is not that hard...

[Anonymous]

My mother worked in elementary schools for over 30 years (teaching and administration). You better believe we all packed our own lunches. I can't remember exactly when, but for sure by the end of elementary school it was my job and not hers. She's still help here and there. And she'd buy the supplies (with some input on what I wanted) but I needed to do it myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's too young. High schoolers should make their own lunches. Until then, you should take care of it.

I vote +1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's too young. High schoolers should make their own lunches. Until then, you should take care of it.

I vote +1

It's like laundry. Eventually your kid will WANT to do it on his own. Probably high school for both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why in the world can't an average child of this age make their own lunch?? LOL

OP, he's obviously reluctant. He said he will do it, but how well will he do?

One idea - my cousin has lunch bins in her fridge. There are 5 days worth of options. Each day her kids choose one thing from each bin. Sunday afternoon they make sure there's enough fruit, muffins and whatever else for the week.

I haven't seen her fridge. I have no idea how she has room for five "bins" but it seems to work for her.

I know a few 9 year olds who are responsible for packing their own lunch and it seems they have a similar set up.

Ironically the he's too young crowd are probably the same ones complaining about the lazy and helpless millennials at work or elsewhere.

You think they have jobs?

[Anonymous]

This thread illustrates the vast divide between helicopter parents and normal parents. People who think it is inappropriate for a elementary school aged child to make their lunch are insane. Also a child won't pack pure junk food if you don't buy it. Who buys junk food? High school is the appropriate age for packing a lunch? Insanity! No wonder we have a generation of whiners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You or dh should make his lunch. I've known of 3 kids that make their own lunch in elem. school. My dd has told me about all the junk that kids who make their lunch pack.

If you want to teach responsibility, come up with other chores.

If you don't buy crap, they won't pack crap. You are insane.

[Anonymous]

Incremental steps work. At our house, the kids started with unloading their lunchboxes, putting away ice pack, etc. and helping to put things in the bag in the morning.

Then we moved onto washing the Tupperware, and cutting fruit/veggies usually the night before.

Now they can do all of it. I still help on occasion, but they are more appreciative of the effort it takes to make lunch.

[Anonymous]

Why is this such an all-or-nothing thing? Why can't people accept that this might vary by child/family? Some people seem to think that if a first grader is not packing his/her own lunch, they will certainly turn into a dependent, incapable "whiner." It's completely ridiculous. There are plenty of years between elementary school and college, during which kids will reach different milestones of independence at different times. The judgment and nastiness on this board is astounding. Guess what? Different parenting styles exist, children are all different, and your way is not always, by default, the "right" way.