Child refusing to make lunch -- how far do I take this?

[Anonymous]

Huh, I was going to get my 4 year old to help pack his lunch everyday this year... I would hope that well before 3rd grade he'll be able to do it on his own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Huh, I was going to get my 4 year old to help pack his lunch everyday this year... I would hope that well before 3rd grade he'll be able to do it on his own.

Huh. What will you think of next?

[Anonymous]

I tried to get my child to do it at 8, 9, 10 and she refused. All her friends had mom that packed lunches and I realized to her it was a sign of caring and love for me to do it so I just gave up the struggle and did. Now she is almost 13, and makes it herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it is important to you..I would pack the same ordinary sandwich and a water bottle only. If he wants different or more he needs to take care of it. Otherwise let it go. There are many ways to be independent. My HS kids don't pack their own lunch but do a huge number of other tasks around the house..works for us.

You pack your high school Childrens lunches? These are the kids who get to college and are totally helpless. Teach them some independence. I promise, not making their lunch doesn't mean you don't love them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I packed my kids' lunches all the way through their senior years in high school. I also pack my DH's lunch. I do it because I enjoy it, but I understand that by high school kids are certainly able to pack their own lunches. I had no idea people were expecting 3rd graders to pack their own lunches. It's actually kinda sad.

Sad is right! The little kid wants his parents to make him lunch. Maybe they can make it together but I feel a feeling OP is not that kind of parent.

I have a feeling a lot of the mothers on this board aren't exactly the nurturing type.

It's easier to give a man a fish, than to teach him to fish but that's what parenting is all about.

[Anonymous]

Buy foods that don't have to be "made". I.e fruit, a pre packaged pop corn bag, small cheeses...

[Anonymous]

I leave the toilet seat up....you know so the kids can get their own drink.

[Anonymous]

I agree that it's important to teach kids life skills and help them develop independence, but I really think people on this board take it way too far. I will be make by my third grader's lunch this year, OP. Will I make it in high school? I'm don't plan to, but I'm sure there will be times he is up late studying or at a sports practice and I will help him out. I believe that's what parents do, and what family does. My DH and I help each other out and care for each other in a similar way. Expecting children to basically care for themselves starting at age 4 is not the way I want to raise my children.

[Anonymous]

^ "make by" = making

[Anonymous]

I cannot believe so many people are packing lunches for middle and high schoolers. Unless my kids had special needs I'd be worried if my kids weren't capable of preparing a sandwich and putting it in a bag with an apple. No wonder we have a generation of anxious, incapable kids.

[Anonymous]

I can't believe people think it is crazy to expect an 8 year old to make lunch! So weird. At 8 my siblings and I were taking turns making lunch for each other. I have many complaints about my upbringing, but learning to be totally responsible for myself is not one of them!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's too young. High schoolers should make their own lunches. Until then, you should take care of it.

Wow, really? Your way certainly isn't wrong if it works for you, but I find 14 quite old for a minimum age when it's appropriate that they should be making their own lunches. My kids were entirely responsible for this at age 8 unless they specifically requested my help. My middle schoolers were responsible for preparing the family dinner one day/week with very minimal assistance as well. Then again, I likely expected an unusually high degree of independence from my kids, sending two of mine on a fairly independent homestay study abroad program over the summer at age 13 turning 14 and expecting them to basically be able to run the household for a week by age 16.

Aren't you just super special.

Not particularly. Just rather surprised. Sorry if it came across otherwise.

Did your children pay for their own "fairly independent homestay study abroad" program? Or did you drop a lot of money to buy your children's independence.

Lol I love how you think that PP's kids aren't independent unless they're fully financially self sufficient. Yet you think kids aren't ready to learn even the most basic of tasks - like packing their own lunch. Gongrats, you're on your way to becoming the type of parent that goes to post-college job fairs with your kids. On the other hand you won't be alone - there will be other crazy helicopter moms to normalize your choices.

[Anonymous]

Amazing assumptions that OP is a mom. Would it be better if a dad was trying to teach his son life skills and independence. "You're a mom and you signed up for this" doesn't get thrown at dads trying to teach independence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here -- Wow, what a range of responses! After sticking to my guns for a couple hours, he said he'd make his lunch. (and no I'm not lazy -- I was making dinner, helping other DS with a shower and putting laundry in within the same hour). I was standing there the whole time supervising and helping with ideas. He's more than capable of it and from everything I've read, the more kids have responsibility, the more it builds up their confidence.

Good for you OP. Yes, it does indeed build up their confidence.

My now 5th grader has been cooking himself lunch this past summer (I'm home). I gave him the choice of me making a sandwich for him, or he can make what he wants. He is indeed very proud of himself (as am I). He has stated that he wants to try to make dinner for us one night. I'm not quite there yet, but I'm really proud of him for wanting to do it.

My mom never taught me how to cook. I ate crap food in college. My DH, OTH, was taught to cook at a young age, and he ate well in college. I am determined to not make the same mistake on my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here -- Wow, what a range of responses! After sticking to my guns for a couple hours, he said he'd make his lunch. (and no I'm not lazy -- I was making dinner, helping other DS with a shower and putting laundry in within the same hour). I was standing there the whole time supervising and helping with ideas. He's more than capable of it and from everything I've read, the more kids have responsibility, the more it builds up their confidence.

OP He probably does not want to think about school starting yet. And he seems young. Back off a bit and come back to it later. Starting 3rd grade is tough on little kids.