Child refusing to make lunch -- how far do I take this?

[Anonymous]

My goal is to have my soon-to-be 3rd grader make his own lunch this year. I thought I'd get him started this week during the last week of camp. He is refusing to do it (and buying lunch isn't an option at camp). I'm of course willing to help but he won't even enter the kitchen. The logical consequence would be no lunch tomorrow if he doesn't make it-- but that feels pretty extreme. What do you all think?

[Anonymous]

I think he is young and you need to make him lunch.

[Anonymous]

if he wont make it and buying isn't an option, then I'd make it. But I'd make it with whatever food I wanted him to have! Salami need to be eaten? In it goes! Tomorrow, turkey sandwich. with Fruit and some carrot sticks or maybe some sun chips if he's lucky. In other words, take no input and send him with your ideal lunch. If he wants choices, he makes it.

[Anonymous]

Is your arm broken? Stop being lazy and the make the poor kid his lunch.

[Anonymous]

I would tell him the consequence would be no lunch if he chooses not to *help you* make the lunch. Then I would work side-by-side with him showing him how to pack his lunch. He might just be feeling overwhelmed. If he still chooses to not even participate... well, in our house we all pitch in. If my kids want something that is within their (assisted or independent) ability to achieve, they need to be involved in making it happen.

Check with the camp first to see if this is against their policies, though. It might be. In which case, I would send a lunch exactly as 18:17 suggested.

[Anonymous]

That's too young. High schoolers should make their own lunches. Until then, you should take care of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:if he wont make it and buying isn't an option, then I'd make it. But I'd make it with whatever food I wanted him to have! Salami need to be eaten? In it goes! Tomorrow, turkey sandwich. with Fruit and some carrot sticks or maybe some sun chips if he's lucky. In other words, take no input and send him with your ideal lunch. If he wants choices, he makes it.

Good idea! Sufficiently nutritious but not delicious.

[Anonymous]

Does he know where everything is and how to make a sandwich? If so, tell him he is going to be hungry tomorrow if he doesn't have a lunch. 3rd grade is not too young to do this.

[Anonymous]

Option A (what I'd do): your arms aren't broken. if you want to eat lunch, make it yourself. otherwise go without.

Option B (the gentler option): make a list of proteins, fruit, veg, snack and have him circle which he wants from each category for two days. Then have him help compile for two days based on the list. On the last day, have him do it while you watch.

[Anonymous]

A) Make the same basic lunch every day. PBJ. Apple. Money to buy cold milk. When he gets sick of it, he will make his own lunches gladly.
B) Pack leftovers every day. My kid actually prefers these.

[Anonymous]

Why do you think he's being resistant? What's he saying sbout this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's too young. High schoolers should make their own lunches. Until then, you should take care of it.

Wow, really? Your way certainly isn't wrong if it works for you, but I find 14 quite old for a minimum age when it's appropriate that they should be making their own lunches. My kids were entirely responsible for this at age 8 unless they specifically requested my help. My middle schoolers were responsible for preparing the family dinner one day/week with very minimal assistance as well. Then again, I likely expected an unusually high degree of independence from my kids, sending two of mine on a fairly independent homestay study abroad program over the summer at age 13 turning 14 and expecting them to basically be able to run the household for a week by age 16.

[Anonymous]

Does he refuse to do other chores, too? What is the issue with making lunch/helping to make lunch?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's too young. High schoolers should make their own lunches. Until then, you should take care of it.

Wow, really? Your way certainly isn't wrong if it works for you, but I find 14 quite old for a minimum age when it's appropriate that they should be making their own lunches. My kids were entirely responsible for this at age 8 unless they specifically requested my help. My middle schoolers were responsible for preparing the family dinner one day/week with very minimal assistance as well. Then again, I likely expected an unusually high degree of independence from my kids, sending two of mine on a fairly independent homestay study abroad program over the summer at age 13 turning 14 and expecting them to basically be able to run the household for a week by age 16.

Aren't you just super special.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's too young. High schoolers should make their own lunches. Until then, you should take care of it.

Wow, really? Your way certainly isn't wrong if it works for you, but I find 14 quite old for a minimum age when it's appropriate that they should be making their own lunches. My kids were entirely responsible for this at age 8 unless they specifically requested my help. My middle schoolers were responsible for preparing the family dinner one day/week with very minimal assistance as well. Then again, I likely expected an unusually high degree of independence from my kids, sending two of mine on a fairly independent homestay study abroad program over the summer at age 13 turning 14 and expecting them to basically be able to run the household for a week by age 16.

Aren't you just super special.

Not particularly. Just rather surprised. Sorry if it came across otherwise.