Child refusing to make lunch -- how far do I take this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fascinating thread - thank you to all who contributed!

Just curious - if you elementary school kids pack their own lunches what exactly do they put in it? The more specific - the better. TIA

My 4th grader: packs a waffle, fruit, greek yogurt, and almonds.
My 2nd grader: hamburger (DH grills hamburgers ahead of time and she puts together) and fruit. Or she will make pasta in the AM and add sauce with fruit.

Your second grader makes pasta alone? Before school in the mornings? Huh.

Yes, my second grader makes pasta while I am getting dressed. You just boil water, add a cup of noodles and cook for 12 minutes then drain and add sauce. It isn't rocket science. I usually drain it for her. Why is this questionable? We are usually up at 5:30 or 6 and out the door by 7:30 so there is plenty of time.

Omg, you really do not understand why this is unusual? Most people do not get up and cook hot food to pack for lunch. Kids or parents. Some might, but clearly you understand that getting up 2 hours before you leave to allow time to cook pasta is not the norm.

NP, but my kids are morning people and I have to get up early anyway for work. I certainly wouldn't get up hours early just to cook (or get them up) but no reason not to if they're already awake.

Also, it doesn't sound like OP is waking them two hours early to cook. The pasta takes like 10 minutes. Maybe her kid likes having fresh pasta instead of a sandwich in her lunch. It's unusual, yes, but it isn't something crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fascinating thread - thank you to all who contributed!

Just curious - if you elementary school kids pack their own lunches what exactly do they put in it? The more specific - the better. TIA

My 4th grader: packs a waffle, fruit, greek yogurt, and almonds.
My 2nd grader: hamburger (DH grills hamburgers ahead of time and she puts together) and fruit. Or she will make pasta in the AM and add sauce with fruit.

Your second grader makes pasta alone? Before school in the mornings? Huh.

Yes, my second grader makes pasta while I am getting dressed. You just boil water, add a cup of noodles and cook for 12 minutes then drain and add sauce. It isn't rocket science. I usually drain it for her. Why is this questionable? We are usually up at 5:30 or 6 and out the door by 7:30 so there is plenty of time.

Omg, you really do not understand why this is unusual? Most people do not get up and cook hot food to pack for lunch. Kids or parents. Some might, but clearly you understand that getting up 2 hours before you leave to allow time to cook pasta is not the norm.

NP, but my kids are morning people and I have to get up early anyway for work. I certainly wouldn't get up hours early just to cook (or get them up) but no reason not to if they're already awake.

Also, it doesn't sound like OP is waking them two hours early to cook. The pasta takes like 10 minutes. Maybe her kid likes having fresh pasta instead of a sandwich in her lunch. It's unusual, yes, but it isn't something crazy.

Yes, exactly the case. You people with the kids who don't wake up at the crack of dawn are very lucky! I get up early to exercise and they naturally get up that early. 6 is late for them! When they were toddlers, they routinely got up at 4:30 in the morning. I hated my life!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I packed my kids' lunches all the way through their senior years in high school. I also pack my DH's lunch. I do it because I enjoy it, but I understand that by high school kids are certainly able to pack their own lunches. I had no idea people were expecting 3rd graders to pack their own lunches. It's actually kinda sad.

Why sad? I think kids should be a part of helping the household run. This was not expected of me as a child and I was completely lost in college and it felt like it took a long time to figure things out, whereas my friends who helped their family cook dinner and laundry and what not were comfortable and no anxiety.

You were lost in college because your mother packed your lunch? Despite my packing their lunches through their senior years, so far three of my five managed to graduate from college. The one in college seems to have mastered the fine art of sandwich making. I guess the jury is still out on my high schooler.

Just because I chose to pack their lunches in the morning doesn't mean they didn't have household chores. Mornings are busy for kids. It was a very small thing I could do to make their mornings a little easier. I totally understand middle and high schoolers packing their own lunches. But a 3rd grader? You are really going to give a 3rd grader the choice of packing a lunch or going hungry? Thankfully, the school won't let that happen. They will feed them and you'll look like a crappy mother.

Talk about being deliberately obtuse. My mom was similar she was a bit of a helicopter mom and did pretty much all the chores around the house. When I and she packed my lunch throughout high school. I never had to do laundry or fully clean a kitchen. ( most memorably I put dishwashing soap in the dishwasher instead of detergent in my first apartment and covered the kitchen with bubbles. it was like a scene straight out of I Love Lucy. ) I think that while those are skills that are fairly easily learned and 18 it still creates a better outcome when your parents teach you to you at a younger age so you can learn to be more self-reliant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fascinating thread - thank you to all who contributed!

Just curious - if you elementary school kids pack their own lunches what exactly do they put in it? The more specific - the better. TIA

My 4th grader: packs a waffle, fruit, greek yogurt, and almonds.
My 2nd grader: hamburger (DH grills hamburgers ahead of time and she puts together) and fruit. Or she will make pasta in the AM and add sauce with fruit.

Your second grader makes pasta alone? Before school in the mornings? Huh.

Yes, my second grader makes pasta while I am getting dressed. You just boil water, add a cup of noodles and cook for 12 minutes then drain and add sauce. It isn't rocket science. I usually drain it for her. Why is this questionable? We are usually up at 5:30 or 6 and out the door by 7:30 so there is plenty of time.

Omg, you really do not understand why this is unusual? Most people do not get up and cook hot food to pack for lunch. Kids or parents. Some might, but clearly you understand that getting up 2 hours before you leave to allow time to cook pasta is not the norm.

NP, but my kids are morning people and I have to get up early anyway for work. I certainly wouldn't get up hours early just to cook (or get them up) but no reason not to if they're already awake.

Also, it doesn't sound like OP is waking them two hours early to cook. The pasta takes like 10 minutes. Maybe her kid likes having fresh pasta instead of a sandwich in her lunch. It's unusual, yes, but it isn't something crazy.

Yes, exactly the case. You people with the kids who don't wake up at the crack of dawn are very lucky! I get up early to exercise and they naturally get up that early. 6 is late for them! When they were toddlers, they routinely got up at 4:30 in the morning. I hated my life!

I cook pasta for my kids lunch all the time. It's less labor intensive than a sandwich. Step one - put water on to boil - Step two - read carolyn hax and drink coffee - Step three - add pasta to boiling water, stir once - step four - refill coffee and read the reliable source - step five drain pasta and toss with sauce

[Anonymous]

I would make him the exact same lunch every day. Cheese sandwich (or maybe pb). Whole grain bread. Carrot sticks. Milk.

Something filling. Reasonably healthy. And boring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I packed my kids' lunches all the way through their senior years in high school. I also pack my DH's lunch. I do it because I enjoy it, but I understand that by high school kids are certainly able to pack their own lunches. I had no idea people were expecting 3rd graders to pack their own lunches. It's actually kinda sad.

Why sad? I think kids should be a part of helping the household run. This was not expected of me as a child and I was completely lost in college and it felt like it took a long time to figure things out, whereas my friends who helped their family cook dinner and laundry and what not were comfortable and no anxiety.

You were lost in college because your mother packed your lunch? Despite my packing their lunches through their senior years, so far three of my five managed to graduate from college. The one in college seems to have mastered the fine art of sandwich making. I guess the jury is still out on my high schooler.

Just because I chose to pack their lunches in the morning doesn't mean they didn't have household chores. Mornings are busy for kids. It was a very small thing I could do to make their mornings a little easier. I totally understand middle and high schoolers packing their own lunches. But a 3rd grader? You are really going to give a 3rd grader the choice of packing a lunch or going hungry? Thankfully, the school won't let that happen. They will feed them and you'll look like a crappy mother.

Talk about being deliberately obtuse. My mom was similar she was a bit of a helicopter mom and did pretty much all the chores around the house. When I and she packed my lunch throughout high school. I never had to do laundry or fully clean a kitchen. ( most memorably I put dishwashing soap in the dishwasher instead of detergent in my first apartment and covered the kitchen with bubbles. it was like a scene straight out of I Love Lucy. ) I think that while those are skills that are fairly easily learned and 18 it still creates a better outcome when your parents teach you to you at a younger age so you can learn to be more self-reliant.

I'm the one who posted about feeling lost in college, not because I didn't pack my lunches in 3rd grade, but because there were low expectations on me to contribute to the household in general. You said your kids had chores, what if someone said they felt it was sad that your kid had to sweep the floor after dinner? Why is that chore okay but making lunches "sad"--it's not, it's just a judgment call. My kids are in early elementary and I cut the fruit and bring out the sandwich stuff or warm up the thermos for leftovers. At this point they're still moderately helping pack--adding it all to the bag, filling water bottles, adding napkin/forks. Because at some point I do want them to take it over as their own responsibility, not because I'm lazy but because they're capable.