young women pushing me out of the way (I'm 8 months pregnant)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:a) YOU try telling my grandmother what to do. She's a grown woman. b) She's not that much faster handling the coupons and the card swipe machine.

You, please, try saying, "Grandma, people are waiting. I'm sorry, but please let me help you." A grown woman should be able to understand that it is inconsiderate to make people wait for selfish reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:a) YOU try telling my grandmother what to do. She's a grown woman. b) She's not that much faster handling the coupons and the card swipe machine.

You, please, try saying, "Grandma, people are waiting. I'm sorry, but please let me help you." A grown woman should be able to understand that it is inconsiderate to make people wait for selfish reasons.

Not the PP, but when did it become "selfish" to desire to handle one's own groceries? I honestly think some of these posts must be jokes, because otherwise our society is truly scary when it comes to its attitude toward children and older people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, I am the person you disagree with, and while you are very polite in your disagreement (refreshing, thank you!), you are mistaken--I live in the city. Also, I think you may have misread my post. I specifically said that I do not allow my kids to "play store." I said I allow them to put the items on the belt; there is a difference. They are therefore legitimately completing our purchase, and they are not playing, they are simply doing the same task I would be doing, only slower. It is not reasonable to expect that simply because the adult can put the items on the conveyor belt the fastest, that the adult therefore MUST ALWAYS be the one to do so. If I am at the store with my husband and he could theoretically go faster than me, it does not follow that everyone in line behind us gets to say, "hey, speed it up! Let the faster one do the job!" It is analogous to a situation with children. Again, please re-read where I said I do not allow them to PLAY. Letting them put the items on the belt is not playing; it is doing the necessary procedure for our purchse, and it may not be as fast as an adult, but it is completely legitimate. Now, I get that you may be irked that they are slower--just as I might be irked that an elderly person or handicapped person might be slower--but it is no different.

It isn't the same as an elderly or handicapped person. They don't have the choice to have someone else assis them. But there is no convincing you. Go ahead - do what you feel is best and don't worry about the rest of us. We'll manage. Congratulations - you won this battle.

Well, we'll just have to politely agree to disagree on this topic, since there is obviously no convincing you either. Civilized people can disagree with one another (without needing to resort to sarcasm, BTW, but whatever). Have a nice day (seriously, not sarcastically).

PP, just clarifying that I am the poster who said we should be able to disagree politely and did not write the immediate post to which you're responding. I still don't want to stand behind you in line, though!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:a) YOU try telling my grandmother what to do. She's a grown woman. b) She's not that much faster handling the coupons and the card swipe machine.

You, please, try saying, "Grandma, people are waiting. I'm sorry, but please let me help you." A grown woman should be able to understand that it is inconsiderate to make people wait for selfish reasons.

Not the PP, but when did it become "selfish" to desire to handle one's own groceries? I honestly think some of these posts must be jokes, because otherwise our society is truly scary when it comes to its attitude toward children and older people.

Again, it is selfish to impose on somebody else's time. Any affective benefits like a sense of independence need to be gained without inconveniencing increasingly busy fellow citizens. Children and older people need to accept that they have to find their place within a rhythm that allows business to continue without interruption. If that's the ground rule, parents and care-givers need to find ways to work around it. It can be done, but it is a way of thinking that's unfamiliar to people used to a slower pace of life. I'm suggesting that the slow paradigm doesn't apply so well to DC anymore and that the tensions we're seeing are related to changing expectations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:a) YOU try telling my grandmother what to do. She's a grown woman. b) She's not that much faster handling the coupons and the card swipe machine.

You, please, try saying, "Grandma, people are waiting. I'm sorry, but please let me help you." A grown woman should be able to understand that it is inconsiderate to make people wait for selfish reasons.

Not the PP, but when did it become "selfish" to desire to handle one's own groceries? I honestly think some of these posts must be jokes, because otherwise our society is truly scary when it comes to its attitude toward children and older people.

Again, it is selfish to impose on somebody else's time. Any affective benefits like a sense of independence need to be gained without inconveniencing increasingly busy fellow citizens. Children and older people need to accept that they have to find their place within a rhythm that allows business to continue without interruption. If that's the ground rule, parents and care-givers need to find ways to work around it. It can be done, but it is a way of thinking that's unfamiliar to people used to a slower pace of life. I'm suggesting that the slow paradigm doesn't apply so well to DC anymore and that the tensions we're seeing are related to changing expectations.

I think that older people should be allowed as much time as they need...it's a totally separate issue.

[Anonymous]

All children and elderly should avoid stores so I can get through checkout lines a few minutes faster. Period.

[Anonymous]

All children and elderly should avoid stores so I can get through checkout lines a few minutes faster. Period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:a) YOU try telling my grandmother what to do. She's a grown woman. b) She's not that much faster handling the coupons and the card swipe machine.

You, please, try saying, "Grandma, people are waiting. I'm sorry, but please let me help you." A grown woman should be able to understand that it is inconsiderate to make people wait for selfish reasons.

Not the PP, but when did it become "selfish" to desire to handle one's own groceries? I honestly think some of these posts must be jokes, because otherwise our society is truly scary when it comes to its attitude toward children and older people.

Again, it is selfish to impose on somebody else's time. Any affective benefits like a sense of independence need to be gained without inconveniencing increasingly busy fellow citizens. Children and older people need to accept that they have to find their place within a rhythm that allows business to continue without interruption. If that's the ground rule, parents and care-givers need to find ways to work around it. It can be done, but it is a way of thinking that's unfamiliar to people used to a slower pace of life. I'm suggesting that the slow paradigm doesn't apply so well to DC anymore and that the tensions we're seeing are related to changing expectations.

I weep for your parents and children. You should know, however, that karma is a bitch. Your kids are watching how you treat and feel about kids and elderly people. And in 40 years or so your they are probably going to be just as nasty to you as you are to your elders. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:a) YOU try telling my grandmother what to do. She's a grown woman. b) She's not that much faster handling the coupons and the card swipe machine.

You, please, try saying, "Grandma, people are waiting. I'm sorry, but please let me help you." A grown woman should be able to understand that it is inconsiderate to make people wait for selfish reasons.

Not the PP, but when did it become "selfish" to desire to handle one's own groceries? I honestly think some of these posts must be jokes, because otherwise our society is truly scary when it comes to its attitude toward children and older people.

Again, it is selfish to impose on somebody else's time. Any affective benefits like a sense of independence need to be gained without inconveniencing increasingly busy fellow citizens. Children and older people need to accept that they have to find their place within a rhythm that allows business to continue without interruption. If that's the ground rule, parents and care-givers need to find ways to work around it. It can be done, but it is a way of thinking that's unfamiliar to people used to a slower pace of life. I'm suggesting that the slow paradigm doesn't apply so well to DC anymore and that the tensions we're seeing are related to changing expectations.

I weep for your parents and children. You should know, however, that karma is a bitch. Your kids are watching how you treat and feel about kids and elderly people. And in 40 years or so your they are probably going to be just as nasty to you as you are to your elders. Good luck.

I couldn't agree more. That PP sounds very odd - and mean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:okay, do i have mommy brain or is this thread getting hard to follow?

no mommy brain, PP

This thread is indeed hard to follow.

Pregnant OP is complaining about rude people. I'm sure you could hear the same rant by the elderly or those with physical disabilities.

Crap. I really must have mommy brain because I thought that this thread was about how dog parks undermine the cult of motherhood.

As you can see, I did poorly on my SATs. Mostly because my mother used a crappy stroller, didn't pick the correct fetal yoga classes, and failed to secure me a prestigious internship at Oxford when I was in 5th grade.

The cult of motherhood was indeed responsible for the suggestion that pregnant women and mothers with young children deserve special consideration because they're providing a service that benefits all of us. I believe that before middle class values evolved in the 19th century to place women in a private sphere and created the cult of motherhood, working class women were expected to maintain their physical labors during pregnancy and when they had small children if they wanted to eat.

The equating of dog-rearing with child-rearing is a symptom of its collapse. Another symptom is the withholding of special treatment for pregnant women. Unfortunately, allowances for the literal gravitas of advanced pregnancy were, in fact, a form of special treatment.

I think it is important to recognize that the way feminism unfolded created as well as resolved social problems.

OP here. I am genuinely sorry for starting a thread that devolved into such utter nonsense as this. I said I was moving on but just cannot believe that this thread has stretched out for pages. My post was pretty simple. I don't enjoy being pushed around, felt it was happening more than usual in the past few weeks, and thought this was especially remarkable because I am pregnant. Let's be clear about a few things: I wouldn't let my kids fart around and delay others while we're shopping but I don't think I'd blow a gasket if I was behind someone who was letting their children "help," either. Life's too short to have freak outs about this kind of thing. I also don't park strollers in the middle of the aisle and send a mental "tough shit" out to those trying to navigate around me; again, if someone else did this I think I'd say "excuse me," help them move, and call it a day. I don't believe I'm entitled to anything more than my own space and don't want or need to impose myself on anyone else. Um, what else. I think Friday's and BBandBeyond are perfectly fine establishments, though I generally try to buy local when I can, and so forgive me for poking fun at myself for being at those places. Trust me, I know humor is not often well received on DCUM, but I suppose if you have to translate a joke, it wasn't very funny.

I have no idea how any of this has to do with the "cult of motherhood," dog parks -- I like them, is that bad?, or the elderly being "allowed" to check out their own groceries, or how nobody but me gives a crap about my "special moment" in life (aka pregnancy). All it has to do with is a basic fundamental of human interaction -- it is wrong to push and shove.

I will say that it is extremely unsettling how many of you will openly admit (on an anonymous forum, at least) to unapologetically pushing aside those in our society who can't move as quickly as you personally think they should be and the attitude many have taken, that these subsections of society should basically stay at home in order to make room for the faster among us. If you can't see where you're wrong with that attitude, I doubt anyone on DCUM will be able to convince you otherwise. Which honestly, is probably sadder for you than it is for me. Must feel very frustrating to be held up by the weak so often and must be kind of cold to be so thoroughly without human empathy.

Now I'm going to go to a dog park. I hope I see a mom with a stroller on the way so I can hold the door for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:a) YOU try telling my grandmother what to do. She's a grown woman. b) She's not that much faster handling the coupons and the card swipe machine.

You, please, try saying, "Grandma, people are waiting. I'm sorry, but please let me help you." A grown woman should be able to understand that it is inconsiderate to make people wait for selfish reasons.

Not the PP, but when did it become "selfish" to desire to handle one's own groceries? I honestly think some of these posts must be jokes, because otherwise our society is truly scary when it comes to its attitude toward children and older people.

Again, it is selfish to impose on somebody else's time. Any affective benefits like a sense of independence need to be gained without inconveniencing increasingly busy fellow citizens. Children and older people need to accept that they have to find their place within a rhythm that allows business to continue without interruption. If that's the ground rule, parents and care-givers need to find ways to work around it. It can be done, but it is a way of thinking that's unfamiliar to people used to a slower pace of life. I'm suggesting that the slow paradigm doesn't apply so well to DC anymore and that the tensions we're seeing are related to changing expectations.

I've actually never seen an elderly person with an able bodied person with her handle all the unloading of the groceries. Maybe they both unload at the same time, but I have never seen an older person unloading groceries while her adult child is just standing there watching. In my book - an elderly or handicapped person unloading their groceries is not comparable to a toddler unloading groceries. But whatever - if I saw a toddler unloading groceries, I'd go to another line. The one marked: considerate, fast people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:a) YOU try telling my grandmother what to do. She's a grown woman. b) She's not that much faster handling the coupons and the card swipe machine.

You, please, try saying, "Grandma, people are waiting. I'm sorry, but please let me help you." A grown woman should be able to understand that it is inconsiderate to make people wait for selfish reasons.

Not the PP, but when did it become "selfish" to desire to handle one's own groceries? I honestly think some of these posts must be jokes, because otherwise our society is truly scary when it comes to its attitude toward children and older people.

I'd argue it's inconsiderate to seethe behind an older woman or a mother w/ kids because you have your own selfish reasons for wanting to rush. Those two extra minutes are not going to kill you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:a) YOU try telling my grandmother what to do. She's a grown woman. b) She's not that much faster handling the coupons and the card swipe machine.

You, please, try saying, "Grandma, people are waiting. I'm sorry, but please let me help you." A grown woman should be able to understand that it is inconsiderate to make people wait for selfish reasons.

Not the PP, but when did it become "selfish" to desire to handle one's own groceries? I honestly think some of these posts must be jokes, because otherwise our society is truly scary when it comes to its attitude toward children and older people.

Again, it is selfish to impose on somebody else's time. Any affective benefits like a sense of independence need to be gained without inconveniencing increasingly busy fellow citizens. Children and older people need to accept that they have to find their place within a rhythm that allows business to continue without interruption. If that's the ground rule, parents and care-givers need to find ways to work around it. It can be done, but it is a way of thinking that's unfamiliar to people used to a slower pace of life. I'm suggesting that the slow paradigm doesn't apply so well to DC anymore and that the tensions we're seeing are related to changing expectations.

I've actually never seen an elderly person with an able bodied person with her handle all the unloading of the groceries. Maybe they both unload at the same time, but I have never seen an older person unloading groceries while her adult child is just standing there watching. In my book - an elderly or handicapped person unloading their groceries is not comparable to a toddler unloading groceries. But whatever - if I saw a toddler unloading groceries, I'd go to another line. The one marked: considerate, fast people.

"Fast" and "considerate" are not synonyms--that is the problem right there, that some people think they are. But hey, you're right--in addition to the express "X items or fewer" aisles, stores should all start having aisles marked "Fast people only" or "No slowpokes need come in our store," or some such. The world would be a better place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
"Fast" and "considerate" are not synonyms--that is the problem right there, that some people think they are. But hey, you're right--in addition to the express "X items or fewer" aisles, stores should all start having aisles marked "Fast people only" or "No slowpokes need come in our store," or some such. The world would be a better place.

I was going to say the same thing. What an ungenerous person! Wow.

[Anonymous]

You meet a lot of people around here who also equate "busy" with "important." They HAVE to get down the aisle, through the store NOW. They are so, so busy. You simply couldn't possibly understand.