young women pushing me out of the way (I'm 8 months pregnant)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you're finding two things about our motherhood current world:

1) carrying and raising children is not widely regarded as a valuable contribution to society (exhibit a- childless dog owners arguing for equal access to park space because they claim to receive no benefit from and have no responsibility to support resources devoted to children)

2) young women are unable to envision themselves as mothers when motherhood is for the middle-aged.

Hysterical. Good observations.

[Anonymous]

my comment is not helpful to anyone, but I feel the need to post it.

The OP sounds like an entitled jerk. The tone of her rant and apologies for shopping/eating at certain places irritated me.

Sometimes people are not nice. I agree with the PP who suggested thinking about the times when people celebrated your pregnancy with a smile or small gesture. It has to have happened.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Seems so many of you are encountering the same frustrations.

To those of you who had kind words, I appreciate it. Some further reflection: I posted not because I don't see kindness from others, but simply because I noticed a large amount of people pushing and shoving me around lately and felt frustrated. While I certainly AM more sensitive to everything at this point, I truly do not think this is merely me being overly sensitive to orderinary rudeness or shoving I might not have minded otherwise because I'm pregnant. While I'm not an "entitled jerk" (and really, pointless poster, who cares what you think when everything you say is just nasty and negative?) I'm also not really the type to get pushed around a lot either.

I truly think I am being pushed and shoved more now than I ever have before because I am less ambulatory now and take more time with things and people cannot contain their frustration. Another poster observed correctly, I think, that this is an anxious town. I also think another poster's observation of how we're all essentially anonymous to one another is right on.

One other thing I sometimes suspect is true (in some of the cases, certainly not all) is that maybe because I appear to be weaker or more vulnerable, people press their advantage intentionally.

To those of you who recommended I focus on the kind gestures, you're absolutely right. I didn't mention the nice things people do for me, but that doesn't mean I'm exclusively focusing on the negative. This was just a rant. I was feeling crappy at the time because I got pushed around a few times in a row and felt very put off by it.

Good luck to everyone navigating the crowds -- whatever your circumstance!

[Anonymous]

I truly think I am being pushed and shoved more now than I ever have before because I am less ambulatory now and take more time with things and people cannot contain their frustration.

I was a HUGE pregnant person in the heat of last summer, and while I didn't feel like strolling around outside for any period of time and I was definitely less comfortable and completely ungraceful, I was never so slow that people had to wait for me. (At least, I never felt slower and I never noticed rude people -- on the contrary I felt people were so sweet and kind.) Frankly, OP, this seems a little bit telling, like maybe you are being much slower than usual with the subconscious thought, "They can wait, I'm pregnant!" If that's the case, people will push past you. People -- especially the rude ones -- can tell when people are slow because they truly can't do any better, and when they're just taking their own sweet time and space because they think they deserve it more than someone else does.

[Anonymous]

You should spend some time in an overcrowded area to learn how it feels to be pushed for real...
I don't know if it's DC or the entire US but here people have such HUGE personal spaces... If you touch them they feel like you ran over them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I truly think I am being pushed and shoved more now than I ever have before because I am less ambulatory now and take more time with things and people cannot contain their frustration.

I was a HUGE pregnant person in the heat of last summer, and while I didn't feel like strolling around outside for any period of time and I was definitely less comfortable and completely ungraceful, I was never so slow that people had to wait for me. (At least, I never felt slower and I never noticed rude people -- on the contrary I felt people were so sweet and kind.) Frankly, OP, this seems a little bit telling, like maybe you are being much slower than usual with the subconscious thought, "They can wait, I'm pregnant!" If that's the case, people will push past you. People -- especially the rude ones -- can tell when people are slow because they truly can't do any better, and when they're just taking their own sweet time and space because they think they deserve it more than someone else does.

Oh brother!

[Anonymous]

This is OP. I'm going to move on from this thread because the subsection of DCUM who have nothing positive to say and simply trawl the posts looking for something, anything, negative to say seems to have gained traction. I posted because I felt bad -- and of course some of you will endeavor to make it my fault or to read into it to assume it's my fault.

No, I'm not moving intentionally slow. I'm moving at my own pace and am absolutely NOT taking the attitude that others can wait because I'm pregnant. I'm not perfect, but I am certainly a considerate person. Pregnant or not, I have not abandoned the small courtesies that make coexisting with other humans more pleasant -- I hold the door for others, I wait my turn, and when I do hold people up, as I realize sometimes happens, I apologize.

Second, just because it can be worse in other areas of the world does not mean that it's not vexing when it happens here. Nor am I exaggerating my personal space entitlement here. Did either of you read my first post? In one instance I was in an aisle looking at something, not taking up the whole aisle and a woman wanted to look at the same product I was looking at, so she simply put her body where mine already was without respect to displacing me. I absolutely was not taking more than my share of space or time. The second woman pushed into me while walking because she just couldn't wait the 3 seconds it would take to wait for her friends to get around me first -- I suppose it was easier to barrel into me.

There is no excuse for this behavior and those of you who are finding ways to make this my fault are probably the very same ones who have no problem shoving into a pregnant woman (or someone with a stroller, or maybe an old person) with no apology. It was a simple vent -- it really seems uncanny to me that some of you would read a simple vent where I object to being shoved around and turn it into some kind of statement from an intentionally slow, entitled pregnant person.

Oh well -- DCUM has good and bad advice. Thanks to all who have commisserated. And for those who took small shots at me, hopefully that has been your outlet for aggression today and it will mean you shove one less pregnant person today. Bye.

[Anonymous]

Why do you post here when you get so bent out of shape when people disagree with you? I can't be the only one who recognizes your long-winded defenses.

Just because someone thinks you might be oversensitive right now doesn't mean they're secretly running over pregnant ladies and babies in strollers! Almost all of us are or have been both of those people (the pregnant lady and the lady with a stroller -- NOT the rude plower, I mean).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I'm going to move on from this thread because the subsection of DCUM who have nothing positive to say and simply trawl the posts looking for something, anything, negative to say seems to have gained traction. I posted because I felt bad -- and of course some of you will endeavor to make it my fault or to read into it to assume it's my fault.

No, I'm not moving intentionally slow. I'm moving at my own pace and am absolutely NOT taking the attitude that others can wait because I'm pregnant. I'm not perfect, but I am certainly a considerate person. Pregnant or not, I have not abandoned the small courtesies that make coexisting with other humans more pleasant -- I hold the door for others, I wait my turn, and when I do hold people up, as I realize sometimes happens, I apologize.

Second, just because it can be worse in other areas of the world does not mean that it's not vexing when it happens here. Nor am I exaggerating my personal space entitlement here. Did either of you read my first post? In one instance I was in an aisle looking at something, not taking up the whole aisle and a woman wanted to look at the same product I was looking at, so she simply put her body where mine already was without respect to displacing me. I absolutely was not taking more than my share of space or time. The second woman pushed into me while walking because she just couldn't wait the 3 seconds it would take to wait for her friends to get around me first -- I suppose it was easier to barrel into me.

There is no excuse for this behavior and those of you who are finding ways to make this my fault are probably the very same ones who have no problem shoving into a pregnant woman (or someone with a stroller, or maybe an old person) with no apology. It was a simple vent -- it really seems uncanny to me that some of you would read a simple vent where I object to being shoved around and turn it into some kind of statement from an intentionally slow, entitled pregnant person.

Oh well -- DCUM has good and bad advice. Thanks to all who have commisserated. And for those who took small shots at me, hopefully that has been your outlet for aggression today and it will mean you shove one less pregnant person today. Bye.

Good grief. I was feeling for you until this.

You posted a "woe is me" topic to an anonymous board, got a mix of responses but many supportive, and got miffed when a few said "hey, maybe it's you."

I mean seriously. Be annoyed, bitch about it to your friends and move on. But don't post to DCUM and expect all of the responses to be virtual hugs. I mean, you have visited this board before, yes?

[Anonymous]

DCUM... always telling it like it is.

[Anonymous]

OP
You need to be surrounded by people who love and support you and your growing family. I am so happy and greatful that you are about to give birth to an amazing human being. You deserve to be respected just because of that. You are making the supreme sacrafice by nurturing this life within you. The least the rest of us can do is: whatever it takes for you to feel the love.
Do whatever you can to enjoy this special time in your life.
Hugs and blessings to you.

[Anonymous]

What's wrong with TGIF Restaurant? Good grief.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's wrong with TGIF Restaurant? Good grief.

We don't care about any restaurant; we care about kindness.

[Anonymous]

Some people are rude. It's not because they are women who have the nerve to do well in their careers before bearing children; it's not because they are dog owners who would like to see a few of their tax dollars used for something that brings them great pleasure; it's not because they don't relate to women in their 30s; it's not even because they (GASP) live in Bethesda.

Some people are just jerks. Most likely, their mothers (and fathers) done brung 'em up all wrong.

OP: it's a bummer that people treated you like crap. It happens. I was so excited to finally "show" so that I'd get a seat on buses and Metro. No such luck. Only people who ever yielded to me were old Latina women who looked like they needed the seat more than I did. Go figure.

All you can do is raise your own children to be better citizens, and remember what this feels like when you are back to fighting weight and a great big pregnant woman crosses your path.

[Anonymous]

Well - it goes both ways. Pre-baby - I was annoyed with SUV strollers and mega families taking up space, ambling along, anything that slowed me down or inconvenienced me. Post-baby - I get it and have tried to pay society back for my former rude ways. I have held so many doors open for pregnant women and strollers, I have allowed families with unruly children to cut ahead of me in line, and guess what? I rarely get a thank you or any show of appreciation. I'm sorry, but unfortunately, there are many women out there who just feel entitled to special treatment and don't appreciate or recognize that someone just went out of their way to make your life easier. In fact - and this is directed to the credit card lady...I let a family go ahead of me at the grocery store. The mom didn't say one word to em and she proceeded to let her toddlers "help" put the groceries on the conveyor. Was I irritated - you bet! Do you think I am going to go out of my way again? Hell no! I learned my lesson. This area has more self-entitled jerks in it than civilized citizens and while I won't ever shove my way past someone or let the door slam in someone's face...I am not going to go out of my way either because I end up the loser.