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young women pushing me out of the way (I'm 8 months pregnant)
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Anonymous
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The other week I was in Bed Bath and Beyond at lunchtime to pick up a few things for my new home. I am almost 9 months pregnant and, while I still feel pretty great, I don't move as quickly as I did pre-pregnancy, to say the least! I was in an aisle looking at some things when a young professional woman pushed past me to look at the same aisle I was looking at. It was rude enough even not being pregnant, but I thought maybe she hadn't realized i was pregnant (I look like a normal person from behind). But then, even after seeing that I was pregnant, she turned to talk and walk towards to one of her friends, basically brushing against me kind of hard again, this time jarring my pregnant belly against the shelf. I'm not normally one for random confrontation but I was so shocked that I blurted out "Hey!!!" She just kept walking away and completely ignored me. No apology, no nothing. It's not like I was permanently harmed or anything, but I cannot imagine doing something like this to somebody and not apologizing profusely.
Fast forward a week or so. My husband and I were in a restaurant (I'm embarrassed to say it was a Friday's----don't ask) during one of those nights where it was raining like crazy outside. So my husband went to go and get the car and I was in the entry way between the two doors (but they're big, so it's not like I was blocking the door). A big group of people came past and one of the women just completely pushed into me. She stepped back and looked at me and then just walked away. Then one second later, as I was exiting that same area, some man held the door for his own wife and, even though he saw me right behind them, let the door slam back on me. Then today. I'm at world market and this group of women were walking behind me and I guess I wasn't moving fast enough for them so two of them passed me on both sides and the third must not have been able to keep up with her friends with me in the way so she just basically walked right into me / jostling me aside and catching up with her friends without a backward glance, even though I'm quite certain she realized she bumped into me. Then, to add insult to injury, while I was checking out the cashier had to get an SKU number and the group of women came up TO THE REGISTER while I was at it and said, to the cashier, "are you open" And when the cashier said "yes, but I am in the middle of a transaction" she said "well, how much longer is this going to take?" Can you just check out my items? Seriously, this happens often enough that I have to wonder what in the hell is going on -- is it me? Am I just lurking about in bad places or have people completely and utterly lost their manners in this city? I should have told this woman how rude she was. The woman was somewhere in her late twenties and was with two other 20-somethings but htey also seemed to be with an older woman -- maybe her mom. I had to bite my tongue not to tell this b*tch off for invading my space not once but twice. I'm not sure what to make of this. I'm not a jerk, nor am I normally a timid pushover person. I'd say I'm pretty middle fo the road. I know I'm pregnant and slow and I try not to get in anybody's way. But what happened to cutting a person some slack??? What happened to apologizing for bumping into people? Especially when the bumping almost seems intentional?? Am I going crazy or do people just really stink sometimes? Sorry -- long and probably pointless rant. I can only really blame myself for going to bed bath and beyond and Fridays (though I normally like World Market) --- ha ha. |
Anonymous
| OP here again (as if that weren't long enough). I should say in case it sounds like I'm anti-professional woman (I'm a professional woman myself) I just overdescribed a bit but I wasn't trying to make a point that these are all professional women or anything like that. |
Anonymous
| I feel like this all the time when I am with my baby in the stroller. People push us or leave the door go or jump in front of us to get into elevators leaving us no room and no option but to wait for the next one. I don't have an answer. Just understand how you feel. |
Anonymous
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A lot of people are usually rude. Period. What you went through I've been through tons of times and I bet so have other people. I think the difference is, you being pregnant, or the PP having a baby, you feel like you should be of more importance in the world (after all, in your family you are). Well, strangers don't really give a crap and they don't really see what's so special about your big belly or your baby in a stroller anyway. But since you feel like you're in such a special moment in your life, you feel like you're entitled to a little bit of a special treatment (even if that just means rudeness-free manners). I cannot count how many times people that held the door to someone they were with slammed the door on my face even though they saw me coming.
Just understand your pregnancy is not as special to everybody else as it is to you and that, yes, some people are just rude (unfortunately). Get over it and move on. By the way, I see nothing wrong with Bed Bath and Beyond OR with Fridays'. |
Anonymous
| 23:03, this is OP -- This is my first child, so I haven't experienced that but i have seen that happen to women with strollers or babies myself, ALL the time. I fly on business at least twice a week and the absolute worst is how people behave towards a woman struggling with a child (or, heaven forbid, children) on an airplane. I think people actually TRY to get in their way and to make things even more difficult. Can't wait to experience that! The elevator thing is terrible. I used to go off on rants about the social contract and how nobody obeys it anymore, but it's beyond that now, I don't think anyone believes they have any obligation to anything other than themselves. Grrr. |
Anonymous
Something tells me that you're the person who bashes into people and refuses to apologize. I'm NOT asking for special treatment, I'm just asking not to get shoved around, which I'd say is a fair enough request whether pregnant or not. You say the difference is that "I'm in such a special moment in my life I think I'm entitled to special treatment?" Nope, your assumption is incorrect. I think it is happening more now that I am pregnant because I am slower; however, there is no excuse to shove a person out of the way under any circumstances. Why did you post a snippy reply, by the way? Having a bad day yourself? |
Anonymous
| I think it is just life in this area of the country. |
Anonymous
| Rude behavior is very common. I think at different times we might notice it more. But that doesn't make it right. I call people out on their rudeness when I can. They usually apologize. A lot of people aren't thinking about anything else than themselves. |
Anonymous
Of course someone pregnant or holding a small baby deserves special treatment, even from strangers, and not because they are the center of the universe or because their pregnancy is 'special' (which, BTW, I think it is and I don't even know you) but because they are part of society, and being pregnant or having a small baby means they are in a somewhat handicapped state and need some extra time, space, or physical help. We should care about human life and we are connected to each other. Caring about others is such a basic part of society. How the OP was treated is not okay, and those people are horrid. |
Anonymous
| OP, I understand exactly what you mean. When I was at the end of my pregnancy last summer, it seemed like EVERYONE was bumping into me and not apologizing! Funny, now that I have a baby in a stroller, I'm finding everyone more accomodating. I wonder if our society just has little tolerance for those that are not agile? Maybe this is what the handicapped and elderly feel like all the time? |
Anonymous
| I tell all my 1st timer pregnant friends to prepare themselves. I found, generally speaking, that people were super nice to me when I was pregnant -- was not jostled or bumped into like OP. I found they were super nice to me when I had a baby. And then suddenly one day the workd turned against me and I realized I had a toddler. |
Anonymous
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I think you're finding two things about our motherhood current world:
1) carrying and raising children is not widely regarded as a valuable contribution to society (exhibit a- childless dog owners arguing for equal access to park space because they claim to receive no benefit from and have no responsibility to support resources devoted to children) 2) young women are unable to envision themselves as mothers when motherhood is for the middle-aged. |
Anonymous
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Hello Everyone,
On another positive note, I would like to share one of my most vivid memories (as a child) of visiting Warsaw, Poland. Any woman who was even slightly pregnant, or any person with a young child/baby, was always, always treated with the utmost respect. S/he (person with child) was expected, and reminded, to go straight to the front of any line. It was so common that no one thought anything of it. It's just what you did. Cheers |
Anonymous
| As a nanny here, I try and treat all pregnant women with respect and politeness-if it weren't for them, I wouldn't have a job. I also try to encourage all non-pregnant women I see who appear to be wealthy to have unprotected sex right away-again, good for business. On the Metro, I always give up my seat to an unsuspecting expecting and then casually hand her my business card. When at the mall, I carry Dr. Scholls inserts and nipple guards to hand out to any large belly I see approaching me. According the Washington Post, it's time for us nannies to get aggressive when it comes to employment searches. Some people might think I'm nuts, but I call all of the above "networking". |
Anonymous
| OP, Do you live in Bethesda? You'll really enjoy being shoved while pushing a stroller. |