young women pushing me out of the way (I'm 8 months pregnant)

[Anonymous]

I didn't experience anything like this when I was pregnant, nor do I now that I have a baby. Yes, sometimes someone will let a door close on me, but the vast, vast majority of times people go out of their way to hold it. I think if you generally hold the outlook that people are rude and unfriendly, you can reinforce that belief everyday. Same if you believe that people are basically good and polite -- you'll notice behavior that proves that you're right.

OP, I am sure that some if not all of these people were rude to you, but I bet that you (understandably) feel a little more vulnerable and a little more sensitive these days. I also bet that because you got annoyed the first time or two, you're now extra attuned to be on the lookout for perceived slights and injustices. I bet just as many if not more people have gone out of their way for you; maybe try to remember/focus on/notice those times.

[Anonymous]

I think some people (including myself) are so sick of being pushed out of the way or inconvenienced by people *with* strollers that they hold a grudge and subconsciously are more aggressive when strollers innocently get in their way.

For example, I was at the Takoma Park farmers’ market this morning and there were these huge double-wides taking up so much room and the owners didn’t care - like they were entitled to inconvenience others just because they had precious cargo! I wanted to shove them out of the way which is so not in my nature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you're finding two things about our motherhood current world:

1) carrying and raising children is not widely regarded as a valuable contribution to society (exhibit a- childless dog owners arguing for equal access to park space because they claim to receive no benefit from and have no responsibility to support resources devoted to children)

2) young women are unable to envision themselves as mothers when motherhood is for the middle-aged.

Huh? Most women I know had their children in their thirties--a) hardly "middle-aged" and b) not so far away from a 20-something that they can't envision it.

[Anonymous]

Myabe you're like Haley Joel Osment in Sixth Sense and you are actually a ghost but don't know it and people can't see you. Does your "husband" look like Bruce Willis?

[Anonymous]

"young women are unable to envision themselves as mothers when motherhood is for the middle-aged."

I don't know about "middle aged" but generally agree with this sentiment. Most young women in DC - I used to be one of them- are here to further their career, date and party. They can't envision being a mother and often view those who are preggo or with small children as making a choice that doesn't entitle others to bend over backwards for them. Yes, I've heard that exactly. I always just laugh to myself and thing . . . you just wait sister. Karma will be revisited on these girls 100 times over.

[Anonymous]

OP, try to think of all the times someone did go out of their way for you when they realized you were pregnant - and you will probably find it evens out.

I found people were overall very polite but of course there were some who were rude to me despite the fact that I was pregnant, and I would even say BECAUSE I was pregnant in one instance. Some people are bitter.

I do believe in karma like one of the PPs said, and sadly, I do think we are in a pretty rude part of the country. As great as the job opportunities are here, as great as all the resources we have, and what a beautiful city DC can be, the fact is people are anxious, competitive, and in a hurry, for the most part. It just comes with the territory.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you're finding two things about our motherhood current world:

1) carrying and raising children is not widely regarded as a valuable contribution to society (exhibit a- childless dog owners arguing for equal access to park space because they claim to receive no benefit from and have no responsibility to support resources devoted to children)

2) young women are unable to envision themselves as mothers when motherhood is for the middle-aged.

Huh? Most women I know had their children in their thirties--a) hardly "middle-aged" and b) not so far away from a 20-something that they can't envision it.

Oh, right, 60 is the new 35. 20-somethings can't envision themselves at 30+.

[Anonymous]

It's also a result of our isolated urban/suburban lifestyles. There are no consequences when someone behaves badly. You'll never see the person again, so the offender assumes it's no big deal -- run into the pregnant woman -- who is she to me?

If we all lived in a village where everyone knew each other, none of us would get away with this.

On the other hand, I will say that if I'm in a particularly bad mood or not feeling great, I notice many more rude people/rude acts than I normally do. So I do think that OP is a little more sensitive about those around her, about her own body, and her experiences reflect the changes happening with her body and the awkwardness/vulnerability that can accompany pregnancy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you're finding two things about our motherhood current world:

1) carrying and raising children is not widely regarded as a valuable contribution to society (exhibit a- childless dog owners arguing for equal access to park space because they claim to receive no benefit from and have no responsibility to support resources devoted to children)

2) young women are unable to envision themselves as mothers when motherhood is for the middle-aged.

Huh? Most women I know had their children in their thirties--a) hardly "middle-aged" and b) not so far away from a 20-something that they can't envision it.

Oh, right, 60 is the new 35. 20-somethings can't envision themselves at 30+.

Hell, I still can't, and I'm 35.

[Anonymous]

My DH and I were entering a restaurant today in DC. He was carrying our seven month old in her car seat as well as the diaper bag. I am on crutches with a large boot on my leg. He held the door for me and a woman (in her 60s) cut me off and went in. She passed through the second set of doors and let them slam in my face. Now THAT'S rude! Whatever.

I found people were fantastically nice when I was pregnant, less so with the baby and now that I am in crutches, unbelievably nice and even solicitous! That said, my mom said some d-bag at the Soviet Safeway gave my DD (minding her own business in her stroller, not crying) a horrible look last week and she started to cry! Amazing how much some people hate kids!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think some people (including myself) are so sick of being pushed out of the way or inconvenienced by people *with* strollers that they hold a grudge and subconsciously are more aggressive when strollers innocently get in their way.

For example, I was at the Takoma Park farmers’ market this morning and there were these huge double-wides taking up so much room and the owners didn’t care - like they were entitled to inconvenience others just because they had precious cargo! I wanted to shove them out of the way which is so not in my nature.

Yes, I have seen people like you around. I was at Giant the other day trying to find a grocery cart that did not have a broken seat belt so I could put my two year old in the cart. I had a lady yelling at me because I was taking to long. She yelled, "You people with your kids, you think that just because you have kids you can take as much time as you want." It made me feel really horrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think some people (including myself) are so sick of being pushed out of the way or inconvenienced by people *with* strollers that they hold a grudge and subconsciously are more aggressive when strollers innocently get in their way.

For example, I was at the Takoma Park farmers’ market this morning and there were these huge double-wides taking up so much room and the owners didn’t care - like they were entitled to inconvenience others just because they had precious cargo! I wanted to shove them out of the way which is so not in my nature.

Yes, I have seen people like you around. I was at Giant the other day trying to find a grocery cart that did not have a broken seat belt so I could put my two year old in the cart. I had a lady yelling at me because I was taking to long. She yelled, "You people with your kids, you think that just because you have kids you can take as much time as you want." It made me feel really horrible.

Oh, those people make me crazy. Both these above examples. I just want to say to farmers market and Giant women, what do you want me to do? The stroller takes up X amount of space; I can't make it any smaller. Your complaint isn't even that it's in the middle of the walkway, simply that it exists. My deepest apologies. Same question to the mean Giant woman. So, you want me to take a buggy with a broken seat belt to convenience you? Um, yeah... no.

Sheesh. Sorry for the rant, but you know, sometimes I find myself wanting to carry a little sign that says, "Before you say anything, know that I am doing the best I can." I have a toddler, my husband works weekends, and I'm pregnant. I'm sorry I'm not always fast/small/mobile enough for you, but I am doing the best I can right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people are usually rude. Period. What you went through I've been through tons of times and I bet so have other people. I think the difference is, you being pregnant, or the PP having a baby, you feel like you should be of more importance in the world (after all, in your family you are). Well, strangers don't really give a crap and they don't really see what's so special about your big belly or your baby in a stroller anyway. But since you feel like you're in such a special moment in your life, you feel like you're entitled to a little bit of a special treatment (even if that just means rudeness-free manners). I cannot count how many times people that held the door to someone they were with slammed the door on my face even though they saw me coming.
Just understand your pregnancy is not as special to everybody else as it is to you and that, yes, some people are just rude (unfortunately).
Get over it and move on.

By the way, I see nothing wrong with Bed Bath and Beyond OR with Fridays'.

Something tells me that you're the person who bashes into people and refuses to apologize. I'm NOT asking for special treatment, I'm just asking not to get shoved around, which I'd say is a fair enough request whether pregnant or not. You say the difference is that "I'm in such a special moment in my life I think I'm entitled to special treatment?" Nope, your assumption is incorrect. I think it is happening more now that I am pregnant because I am slower; however, there is no excuse to shove a person out of the way under any circumstances. Why did you post a snippy reply, by the way? Having a bad day yourself?

Actually, not at all, I'm very polite myself and hold doors for other people who might or not be pregnant. I never said that the behavior you described is ok, I just said everybody goes through it, so I really think you should get over it. And my post wasn't snippy at all, I'm actually having a great weekend, thank you very much. My point was, as a mother of a toddler (meaning I do push a stroller around and get shoved, left out of elevators and everything in between), who has obviously been pregnant before, I don't really see the point of your post. I'm not condoning the behavior. It's wrong, but posting here is not gonna change that. People are meanies. Boohoo.

[Anonymous]

Ugh, PP. So sorry. WTF is wrong with people? Who says stuff like that for no reason?

On Ash Wed., some woman at a chinese buffet was reaching in front of me to get the styrofoam plates (which were available right behind her but she didn't see). I pointed that out nicely, that it would be easier to get them from the stack over there. She hissed at me "well, you're not supposed to take all day getting your food!!!!" Mind you, I had been standing there maybe 20 seconds and moving at normal human speed. The best part, though, was the fresh ashes on her forehead. Guess the mass didn't take that morning. I was a little stunned. Point is, OP, people are rude. Period. I try to respond to point it out but sometimes am too shocked that by the time I compute what is happening, the person is long gone. I can only hope Karma has its way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think some people (including myself) are so sick of being pushed out of the way or inconvenienced by people *with* strollers that they hold a grudge and subconsciously are more aggressive when strollers innocently get in their way.

For example, I was at the Takoma Park farmers’ market this morning and there were these huge double-wides taking up so much room and the owners didn’t care - like they were entitled to inconvenience others just because they had precious cargo! I wanted to shove them out of the way which is so not in my nature.

Yes, I have seen people like you around. I was at Giant the other day trying to find a grocery cart that did not have a broken seat belt so I could put my two year old in the cart. I had a lady yelling at me because I was taking to long. She yelled, "You people with your kids, you think that just because you have kids you can take as much time as you want." It made me feel really horrible.

Oh, those people make me crazy. Both these above examples. I just want to say to farmers market and Giant women, what do you want me to do? The stroller takes up X amount of space; I can't make it any smaller. Your complaint isn't even that it's in the middle of the walkway, simply that it exists. My deepest apologies. Same question to the mean Giant woman. So, you want me to take a buggy with a broken seat belt to convenience you? Um, yeah... no.

Sheesh. Sorry for the rant, but you know, sometimes I find myself wanting to carry a little sign that says, "Before you say anything, know that I am doing the best I can." I have a toddler, my husband works weekends, and I'm pregnant. I'm sorry I'm not always fast/small/mobile enough for you, but I am doing the best I can right now.

I've actually learned to hold my own from just these kinds of experiences. I don't let myself get rushed; I'll find the cart with the seat belt that buckles even if it means you have to wait, not because I'm inconsiderate, but because it's my turn. I posted a while ago about letting my kids use my credit card at the grocery store. Again, it's our turn and you just have to wait your turn, just like we had to. I think it's been good for me.