young women pushing me out of the way (I'm 8 months pregnant)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here who can't believe I just read this entire thread. This may be a tangential point, but it is one that a couple of PPs mentioned so I am bringing it up. I always let my kids "help" put groceries on the conveyor belt, and I would never consider this wrong or an unfair "taking up" of someone else's time. If we have waited our turn just like everyone else, there is no rule that says only the adult or fastest person in the group must put everything on the belt, for heaven's sake. It is not a race--and while one shouldn't purposely dawdle, nor should one feel compelled to race along just because others are rude. My kids and I are a unit--if part of the unit is slower than the rest, well, that is kids being kids and they are as entitled as any other paying customer to put the groceries on the belt. Now, if I were actually letting them *play* in the aisles or something that was truly extraneous to the process of checking out, that would be different, but putting groceries on the belt? Good Lord, people who complained about that, lighten up.

I heartily disagree with you, though I'm sure your kids are very cute and enjoy playing store. Your unit needs to move along, because the line behind you is not there for a playdate. It's a place of business. I don't think anyone is entitled to take any longer than physically necessary to conclude his business and move on. It's not rude to be busy and to allocate a reasonable amount of time for a task that shouldn't take any longer. It is rude to hold up the line so your kids can play. If there's no one behind you, of course, it's not inconveniencing anyone.

I wonder if this is a growing pain for DC as the pace of life picks up a little? I'm guessing PP lives in the 'burbs, but I'm really seeing competing ideas of good citizenship that were probably formed under very different circumstances. Where time is money, it is rude to steal time. Where politeness requires yielding with a smile, it is rude to assert your need to stay on schedule. I'm in the goodbye sleepy Southern town camp, but PP is clearly on the other side of this. It probably has a lot to do with where we come from and what kind of city we want to live in. Interesting, but I still don't want to stand behind PP in line!

Your money is not more valuable to me than my time. In fact, your money is not valuable to me at all.

Explain?

[Anonymous]

I agree with this statement (in bold), but the issue is, who decides what is "physically necessary"? It's not up to random people in line to decide that gee, other people really should be hustling and going faster. If someone else moves more deliberately but isn't doing anything wrong--i.e. there is a difference between kids taking groceries from the cart (a la the other PP) vs. someone chatting with the checkout person, because the latter is irrelevant while the former is slow but not irrelevant--then it is up to the people behind in line to wait.



I think busy places move according to a rhythm and anyone who breaks the rhythm needs a good reason. Now, there is relatively little of this in DC, but going more slowly than most or than you can is a problem.

[Anonymous]

okay, do i have mommy brain or is this thread getting hard to follow?

[Anonymous]

capitalist kool-aid drinking tools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:okay, do i have mommy brain or is this thread getting hard to follow?

no mommy brain, PP

This thread is indeed hard to follow.

Pregnant OP is complaining about rude people. I'm sure you could hear the same rant by the elderly or those with physical disabilities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:okay, do i have mommy brain or is this thread getting hard to follow?

no mommy brain, PP

This thread is indeed hard to follow.

Pregnant OP is complaining about rude people. I'm sure you could hear the same rant by the elderly or those with physical disabilities.

Crap. I really must have mommy brain because I thought that this thread was about how dog parks undermine the cult of motherhood.

As you can see, I did poorly on my SATs. Mostly because my mother used a crappy stroller, didn't pick the correct fetal yoga classes, and failed to secure me a prestigious internship at Oxford when I was in 5th grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:okay, do i have mommy brain or is this thread getting hard to follow?

no mommy brain, PP

This thread is indeed hard to follow.

Pregnant OP is complaining about rude people. I'm sure you could hear the same rant by the elderly or those with physical disabilities.

Crap. I really must have mommy brain because I thought that this thread was about how dog parks undermine the cult of motherhood.

As you can see, I did poorly on my SATs. Mostly because my mother used a crappy stroller, didn't pick the correct fetal yoga classes, and failed to secure me a prestigious internship at Oxford when I was in 5th grade.

Can't you read? You're posting on the wrong thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well - it goes both ways. Pre-baby - I was annoyed with SUV strollers and mega families taking up space, ambling along, anything that slowed me down or inconvenienced me. Post-baby - I get it and have tried to pay society back for my former rude ways. I have held so many doors open for pregnant women and strollers, I have allowed families with unruly children to cut ahead of me in line, and guess what? I rarely get a thank you or any show of appreciation. I'm sorry, but unfortunately, there are many women out there who just feel entitled to special treatment and don't appreciate or recognize that someone just went out of their way to make your life easier. In fact - and this is directed to the credit card lady...I let a family go ahead of me at the grocery store. The mom didn't say one word to em and she proceeded to let her toddlers "help" put the groceries on the conveyor. Was I irritated - you bet! Do you think I am going to go out of my way again? Hell no! I learned my lesson. This area has more self-entitled jerks in it than civilized citizens and while I won't ever shove my way past someone or let the door slam in someone's face...I am not going to go out of my way either because I end up the loser.

PP, why are you letting AN ASSHOLE turn YOU into an asshole? Being a nice person is too valuable to toss aside because one bitch didn't say thank you to you when you let her get ahead of you. (BTW, I am the credit card lady, and i would never not say thank you to someone who let me go ahead of them, unless I was overwhelmed by screaming kids, etc., which would be obvious. I said in my post that people behind me had to wait their, just like I did. That doesn't count if someone lets me get ahead, which so far hasn't happened but I guess I can imagine it....)

I agree - I was at the gas station the other day. Waited my turn. Got to the pump. Filled my car. Noticed my kid pooped so went inside to change her diaper. Came back out and people were pissed that I hogged the pump space. Don't know why they were mad. it was my turn after all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP, I am the person you disagree with, and while you are very polite in your disagreement (refreshing, thank you!), you are mistaken--I live in the city. Also, I think you may have misread my post. I specifically said that I do not allow my kids to "play store." I said I allow them to put the items on the belt; there is a difference. They are therefore legitimately completing our purchase, and they are not playing, they are simply doing the same task I would be doing, only slower. It is not reasonable to expect that simply because the adult can put the items on the conveyor belt the fastest, that the adult therefore MUST ALWAYS be the one to do so. If I am at the store with my husband and he could theoretically go faster than me, it does not follow that everyone in line behind us gets to say, "hey, speed it up! Let the faster one do the job!" It is analogous to a situation with children. Again, please re-read where I said I do not allow them to PLAY. Letting them put the items on the belt is not playing; it is doing the necessary procedure for our purchse, and it may not be as fast as an adult, but it is completely legitimate. Now, I get that you may be irked that they are slower--just as I might be irked that an elderly person or handicapped person might be slower--but it is no different.

It isn't the same as an elderly or handicapped person. They don't have the choice to have someone else assis them. But there is no convincing you. Go ahead - do what you feel is best and don't worry about the rest of us. We'll manage. Congratulations - you won this battle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, I am the person you disagree with, and while you are very polite in your disagreement (refreshing, thank you!), you are mistaken--I live in the city. Also, I think you may have misread my post. I specifically said that I do not allow my kids to "play store." I said I allow them to put the items on the belt; there is a difference. They are therefore legitimately completing our purchase, and they are not playing, they are simply doing the same task I would be doing, only slower. It is not reasonable to expect that simply because the adult can put the items on the conveyor belt the fastest, that the adult therefore MUST ALWAYS be the one to do so. If I am at the store with my husband and he could theoretically go faster than me, it does not follow that everyone in line behind us gets to say, "hey, speed it up! Let the faster one do the job!" It is analogous to a situation with children. Again, please re-read where I said I do not allow them to PLAY. Letting them put the items on the belt is not playing; it is doing the necessary procedure for our purchse, and it may not be as fast as an adult, but it is completely legitimate. Now, I get that you may be irked that they are slower--just as I might be irked that an elderly person or handicapped person might be slower--but it is no different.

It isn't the same as an elderly or handicapped person. They don't have the choice to have someone else assis them. But there is no convincing you. Go ahead - do what you feel is best and don't worry about the rest of us. We'll manage. Congratulations - you won this battle.

(Not the PP.) But it's really not different. So you'd be annoyed at me if I was at the store and allowed my children to put the items on the belt. How about if I was at the store and my 88-year-old grandmother was putting the items on the belt? She really wouldn't be much faster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, I am the person you disagree with, and while you are very polite in your disagreement (refreshing, thank you!), you are mistaken--I live in the city. Also, I think you may have misread my post. I specifically said that I do not allow my kids to "play store." I said I allow them to put the items on the belt; there is a difference. They are therefore legitimately completing our purchase, and they are not playing, they are simply doing the same task I would be doing, only slower. It is not reasonable to expect that simply because the adult can put the items on the conveyor belt the fastest, that the adult therefore MUST ALWAYS be the one to do so. If I am at the store with my husband and he could theoretically go faster than me, it does not follow that everyone in line behind us gets to say, "hey, speed it up! Let the faster one do the job!" It is analogous to a situation with children. Again, please re-read where I said I do not allow them to PLAY. Letting them put the items on the belt is not playing; it is doing the necessary procedure for our purchse, and it may not be as fast as an adult, but it is completely legitimate. Now, I get that you may be irked that they are slower--just as I might be irked that an elderly person or handicapped person might be slower--but it is no different.

It isn't the same as an elderly or handicapped person. They don't have the choice to have someone else assis them. But there is no convincing you. Go ahead - do what you feel is best and don't worry about the rest of us. We'll manage. Congratulations - you won this battle.

(Not the PP.) But it's really not different. So you'd be annoyed at me if I was at the store and allowed my children to put the items on the belt. How about if I was at the store and my 88-year-old grandmother was putting the items on the belt? She really wouldn't be much faster.

You should step in to help your grandmother complete the job faster.

[Anonymous]

a) YOU try telling my grandmother what to do. She's a grown woman. b) She's not that much faster handling the coupons and the card swipe machine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, I am the person you disagree with, and while you are very polite in your disagreement (refreshing, thank you!), you are mistaken--I live in the city. Also, I think you may have misread my post. I specifically said that I do not allow my kids to "play store." I said I allow them to put the items on the belt; there is a difference. They are therefore legitimately completing our purchase, and they are not playing, they are simply doing the same task I would be doing, only slower. It is not reasonable to expect that simply because the adult can put the items on the conveyor belt the fastest, that the adult therefore MUST ALWAYS be the one to do so. If I am at the store with my husband and he could theoretically go faster than me, it does not follow that everyone in line behind us gets to say, "hey, speed it up! Let the faster one do the job!" It is analogous to a situation with children. Again, please re-read where I said I do not allow them to PLAY. Letting them put the items on the belt is not playing; it is doing the necessary procedure for our purchse, and it may not be as fast as an adult, but it is completely legitimate. Now, I get that you may be irked that they are slower--just as I might be irked that an elderly person or handicapped person might be slower--but it is no different.

It isn't the same as an elderly or handicapped person. They don't have the choice to have someone else assis them. But there is no convincing you. Go ahead - do what you feel is best and don't worry about the rest of us. We'll manage. Congratulations - you won this battle.

(Not the PP.) But it's really not different. So you'd be annoyed at me if I was at the store and allowed my children to put the items on the belt. How about if I was at the store and my 88-year-old grandmother was putting the items on the belt? She really wouldn't be much faster.

You should step in to help your grandmother complete the job faster.

You should elbow them both out of the way and just get the job done yourself so we can all get the hell out of there as soon as possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, I am the person you disagree with, and while you are very polite in your disagreement (refreshing, thank you!), you are mistaken--I live in the city. Also, I think you may have misread my post. I specifically said that I do not allow my kids to "play store." I said I allow them to put the items on the belt; there is a difference. They are therefore legitimately completing our purchase, and they are not playing, they are simply doing the same task I would be doing, only slower. It is not reasonable to expect that simply because the adult can put the items on the conveyor belt the fastest, that the adult therefore MUST ALWAYS be the one to do so. If I am at the store with my husband and he could theoretically go faster than me, it does not follow that everyone in line behind us gets to say, "hey, speed it up! Let the faster one do the job!" It is analogous to a situation with children. Again, please re-read where I said I do not allow them to PLAY. Letting them put the items on the belt is not playing; it is doing the necessary procedure for our purchse, and it may not be as fast as an adult, but it is completely legitimate. Now, I get that you may be irked that they are slower--just as I might be irked that an elderly person or handicapped person might be slower--but it is no different.

It isn't the same as an elderly or handicapped person. They don't have the choice to have someone else assis them. But there is no convincing you. Go ahead - do what you feel is best and don't worry about the rest of us. We'll manage. Congratulations - you won this battle.

Well, we'll just have to politely agree to disagree on this topic, since there is obviously no convincing you either. Civilized people can disagree with one another (without needing to resort to sarcasm, BTW, but whatever). Have a nice day (seriously, not sarcastically).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:okay, do i have mommy brain or is this thread getting hard to follow?

no mommy brain, PP

This thread is indeed hard to follow.

Pregnant OP is complaining about rude people. I'm sure you could hear the same rant by the elderly or those with physical disabilities.

Crap. I really must have mommy brain because I thought that this thread was about how dog parks undermine the cult of motherhood.

As you can see, I did poorly on my SATs. Mostly because my mother used a crappy stroller, didn't pick the correct fetal yoga classes, and failed to secure me a prestigious internship at Oxford when I was in 5th grade.

The cult of motherhood was indeed responsible for the suggestion that pregnant women and mothers with young children deserve special consideration because they're providing a service that benefits all of us. I believe that before middle class values evolved in the 19th century to place women in a private sphere and created the cult of motherhood, working class women were expected to maintain their physical labors during pregnancy and when they had small children if they wanted to eat.

The equating of dog-rearing with child-rearing is a symptom of its collapse. Another symptom is the withholding of special treatment for pregnant women. Unfortunately, allowances for the literal gravitas of advanced pregnancy were, in fact, a form of special treatment.

I think it is important to recognize that the way feminism unfolded created as well as resolved social problems.