FIL Wants To Be Called Papa

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Growing up in the Midwest my wife called here parents Amma and Papa. She wants our son to call them that too. I've never heard anyone call a grandfather Papa. I think southerners or people in rural areas may use some variant but not straight Papa. To me it's no different than calling him Dad. It seems incredibly inappropriate and even implies something incestuous between him and his daughter. She doesn't see it. I think that the fact that she called them these things is evidence enough that they are names for parents but she doesn't see it. What's the best way to handle this? We are all together for the week and I feel done after only 24 hours.

Oh FFS. Papa is a VERY common tern for a grandfather. You are the sick one

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not allow my child to call grandfather "papa". Your spouse must respect that.

Maybe OP needs to respect his wife's wishes. How about that, douche?

[Anonymous]

My father called his grandfather Papa Jack. I have a friend who called her grandfather Big Daddy. Big Papa would be along the same lines. Could Papa Firstname or Big Papa be an okay compromise? Papa is in there, but it's not straight-up Papa.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yuck. Papa sounds like a dad's name. And since YOU'RE the dad, if you don't like it then your wishes should be respected. I would defer to my husband on this and expect him to defer to me on what names the grandmothers could use.

Nobody actually calls their fathers papa but lots of people.call their grandpas papa.

I find a lot of hipsters have their kids call them Papa. Bearded men, all of them. Ok, when I say "a lot" I mean that I have met like 2, but whatever.

They must feel a kinship with the French.

OP, if this is some hipster wanna be just like everyone else who is doing something "unique" and "different" you are just being stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, what does your child call you (or what do you refer to yourself as to your child)? If it's Papa, then yes, having a grandfather called Papa might be odd. Otherwise you are making way to much out of this. Papa is a variation of what is used to refer to a grandfather. You have some very odd hangups about this name.

Apparently OP is a hipster and just got the shock of his life to discover that what he thought was an oh so edgy and different term for dad is actually a VERY Common term for grandpa.

Sigh.

It is so tough to be a millenial.

OP had to go sit in his safe space for a while to reaffirm himself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Growing up in the Midwest my wife called here parents Amma and Papa. She wants our son to call them that too. I've never heard anyone call a grandfather Papa. I think southerners or people in rural areas may use some variant but not straight Papa. To me it's no different than calling him Dad. It seems incredibly inappropriate and even implies something incestuous between him and his daughter. She doesn't see it. I think that the fact that she called them these things is evidence enough that they are names for parents but she doesn't see it. What's the best way to handle this? We are all together for the week and I feel done after only 24 hours.

As the survivor of father-daughter sexual abuse, I am really, really curious how you get from "Let's have Larlo call my dad Papa" to "Grandpa's touching me."

Your post actually states that Papa = Dad = Incest. Please explain that to me, because while that was true in my house, I honestly didn't think it applied everywhere.

[Anonymous]

Nbd. Your kid knows you are his dad. We called one of my grandfathers "Pops" (obviously a variant of Papa/Pa) and it never occurred to me that it meant Dad. It was just what everyone called my grandfather. Dont create weirdness where there isn't any.

[Anonymous]

Weird weird post.

My FIL is from Europe and my kids call him Papa. NBD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Growing up in the Midwest my wife called here parents Amma and Papa. She wants our son to call them that too. I've never heard anyone call a grandfather Papa. I think southerners or people in rural areas may use some variant but not straight Papa. To me it's no different than calling him Dad. It seems incredibly inappropriate and even implies something incestuous between him and his daughter. She doesn't see it. I think that the fact that she called them these things is evidence enough that they are names for parents but she doesn't see it. What's the best way to handle this? We are all together for the week and I feel done after only 24 hours.

i kinda understand being annoyed but the incestuous comment is sick.

Not just sick but completely illogical. Even if I agreed that a grandfather who wants to be called papa is trying to be the father, why does that indicate any incestuous intent? Unless you automatically think fathers seek incestuous relationships? Wtf?

That said, I grew up in New England and called both my grandfathers "grandpa." But I knew many people who called their grandfathers "papa," it was not uncommon at all. I never knew anyone who called their father "papa." My own father called his grandfather "pa" and when his first grandchild was born, he said he would like to be "pa" since that was a grandfather name to him. So that's what my kids call my father. I actually love it, it sounds so warm and cozy to me, which is exactly how grandparents should be. (All my father's grandchildren call their own fathers "dad."

FWIW, my mother and her siblings, from upstate NY, called their mother "mother" and their maternal grandmother "mom."

I think OP is being incredibly weird and controlling about this. Bizarre.

[Anonymous]

We call ours Pop. Don't seen issue with Papa.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My father goes by Papa. I see nothing wrong with it.

Unless your DH is called Papa I don't get why grandfather cannot be Papa.

You incentuous comment ir really out of left field OP and just plain odd. Says a lot more about you than it does about your DW.

Yeah, really weird. My father goes by Grandpa. My father-in-law goes by Papa. My grandfather goes by Zaida. I'm really not seeing the big deal here. Of course, if you hate the name Papa and it will grate and tear you apart, then ask him not to use it. But not because it's somehow incestuous. That's just crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I'm French and our name for "Dad" is Papa.
There is no way someone other than my children's father is going to be called Papa!

But it's not pronounced Puh-paaaa.

It's pronounced Popp-uh.

It's not the same as the French Puh-paaaa.

[Anonymous]

The emphasis is on the first syllable: Pop-a

[Anonymous]

I had a Papa Joe. My dad is Poppy (which I don't like especially, but he does, so, whatever).

[Anonymous]

I don't mean this unkindly but, my FIL was "Papa" because my daughter loved the book "Papa, get the moon for me" by Eric Carle ( I think) It never crossed my mind that having my DD call her grandfather "Papa" meant anything but a nice term of endearment. I never thought of incest or molestation. I think you should really see a therapist about this because it is a strange way of thinking. A person will molest no matter what they are called...even "Grandpa" could molest so don't be naive and think just because they use the name grandpa that they are fine. Either you trust and know your FIL or you don't.