Is it bad form to announce a pregnancy days before an extended family member's wedding?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why wait? I don't get it. Happy news, and would make the day even more of a celebration. As a bride, I would be thrilled to learn of a new baby the same day I was celebrating my wedding. I don't get the "stealing thunder" thing.

+ 1. And frankly, people are not really that much invested in your "Big News". I think mostly people will say "Wow! Congratulations! When are you due?" and then after that they will move on to talking about other things.

You. Are. Not. Kate. Middleton.

[Anonymous]

OP - surely you can wait a few more days to announce on FB, what's the big rush??? Tell your mom or whoever, but honestly the bride could take it badly.

And no one will notice you are not drinking or looking fat. They are there for a wedding and to see family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the bride and grooms day- the attention will be on them, not you. No one will notice you drinking Shirley Temples and that you are getting a little thick in the waist.

This.

I have no dog in this fight but even as a moderate drinking, family and friends noticed right away that I wasn't drinking at celebrations for my 2nd pregnancy- I also had no desire to do all the hoop jumping to fake it this time- so even if they do notice, hopefully they have the manners not to say anything.

[Anonymous]

Announce it on FB. Tell people casually. Whatever.

Dear everyone: Neither your wedding nor your pregnancy is as big a deal to other people as it is to you. Try to keep some perspective.

[Anonymous]

It's a wedding not a coronation. You can announce it. Happiness over a wedding and pregnancy can coexist simultaneously. Anyone who doesn't understand that is a self-absorbed ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the bride and grooms day- the attention will be on them, not you. No one will notice you drinking Shirley Temples and that you are getting a little thick in the waist.

This.

I have no dog in this fight but even as a moderate drinking, family and friends noticed right away that I wasn't drinking at celebrations for my 2nd pregnancy- I also had no desire to do all the hoop jumping to fake it this time- so even if they do notice, hopefully they have the manners not to say anything.

+1 ... Weddings are the most noticeable time where people are likely to notice! I was widely gossiped about at 11 weeks when trying desperately to hide!

[Anonymous]

It's an extended family member- who gives a crap?

Tell the close family you see. Don't tell every random person you meet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the bride and grooms day- the attention will be on them, not you. No one will notice you drinking Shirley Temples and that you are getting a little thick in the waist.

This.

I have no dog in this fight but even as a moderate drinking, family and friends noticed right away that I wasn't drinking at celebrations for my 2nd pregnancy- I also had no desire to do all the hoop jumping to fake it this time- so even if they do notice, hopefully they have the manners not to say anything.

+1 ... Weddings are the most noticeable time where people are likely to notice! I was widely gossiped about at 11 weeks when trying desperately to hide!

Oh, but were you widely gossiped about? Oh, but were you desperately trying to hide a pregnancy at ELEVEN WEEKS?

You are not Kate Middleton! You are not Kim Kardashian! You are not carrying the savior of the world! It's exciting, it's lovely, it's fun...but honestly? It's just a baby, OK?

[Anonymous]

It's JUST a wedding

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the bride and grooms day- the attention will be on them, not you. No one will notice you drinking Shirley Temples and that you are getting a little thick in the waist.

This.

I have no dog in this fight but even as a moderate drinking, family and friends noticed right away that I wasn't drinking at celebrations for my 2nd pregnancy- I also had no desire to do all the hoop jumping to fake it this time- so even if they do notice, hopefully they have the manners not to say anything.

+1 ... Weddings are the most noticeable time where people are likely to notice! I was widely gossiped about at 11 weeks when trying desperately to hide!

Oh, but were you widely gossiped about? Oh, but were you desperately trying to hide a pregnancy at ELEVEN WEEKS?

You are not Kate Middleton! You are not Kim Kardashian! You are not carrying the savior of the world! It's exciting, it's lovely, it's fun...but honestly? It's just a baby, OK?

Lol yes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would rather come clean before the wedding bc I look fat and won't be drinking. The problem is that I turn 12 weeks that week, and will get my genetic testing results back just a couple days beforehand. Could this be considered stealing the brides thunder in any possible way? I don't think so, but wanted to make sure. It's not my first child so not even particularly exciting or surprising news, as compared to someone who is pg with their first..

Of course not! Tell them they will be happy for you, not even a issue imo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can someone please post the official length of time prior to the wedding of an extended family member during which wedding guests are to refrain from sharing any joyous news with anyone? For example, is it okay to announce a pregnancy two weeks before your second cousin gets married? What about a month before, would that be okay? Or does all joy need to be hidden for, say, 6 months prior? What if you tell no one but show up to the wedding visibly pregnant? Is that also a faux pas?

People, get over yourselves. The only attention that shouldn't be stolen from the bride and groom is that of their parents. So, no, you shouldn't announce your pregnancy at your sister's rehearsal dinner, because then your mom might be more excited about the baby than about your sister's wedding. But the bride's close family members don't give a damn about their second cousin's second pregnancy.

This may hold true for you, me and a bunch of other people. But there is no way to tell about the bride in this specific case. So I'd say err on the side of being cautious rather than risk back feelings in the family. Yes, she may not care one bit. Or, she may care a lot. Different strokes for different folks.

The way to deal with people being ridiculous is not to tip toe through life just in case they might be ridiculous. It's to live you life. If their is fall out, the only correct response is shock because that is the only response to someone being ridiculous.

OP, don't steal the mic at the wedding to announce it during their first dance. Any other way of spreading the news is fine.

It's called being polite. But whatever, you can bulldoze through life and family events to your heart's content if that's your thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, just wait. If anyone asks, say you are not drinking because you are trying to watch your weight.

This is what I'd do.

I knew I wouldn't have an abortion no matter the results, so we never intended to wait, but I'd had an early pregnancy loss a few years before and didn't want to have everyone on tenterhooks during my then-DH's baby cousin's wedding. So I waited. No one actually noticed I wasn't drinking because I circulated a lot during the reception.