Is it bad form to announce a pregnancy days before an extended family member's wedding?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- i was planning to post on Facebook several days in advance of the wedding, basically as soon as I get my test results back. I would never make some big announcement at the wedding!

If I don't do the above, I will probably take the route of slipping it into conversation at the wedding when I see people, but I was hoping to put it on fb first so I wasn't talking about it very much at the wedding itself. Just trying to be sensitive to the bride. And no, not my sister, an extended family member who is getting married late in life (i.e. Not my generation).

Do this. Put it on FB. It's fine. Life doesn't stop when someone gets married, ornin the weeks before someone gets married. Good lord, People.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Slipping it in later during the wedding when most people will be suspicious when they see you is in some ways worse. People will be talking about you and your suspected pregnancy.

No they won't. It's not her day and no one cares about her that much.

No one cares About the bride and groom as much as they care about themselves. Weddings are not four hour affairs where people only think and tallk about the couple. They are family and friends affairs in which people catch up and gossip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why should you wait? It's not your sister, right?I would tell immediate family and then casually mention it to whoever you see at the wedding. I am assuming you were not planning to put on a slide show or steal the mic before the first dance. I 'announced' a pregnancy at a friend's wedding in that when mutual friends asked me how things were going I said they were going well, job was good, I'm pregnant, sister moved to the west coast, how's your dog? blah blah blah. Don't make a big deal about it and like you said, people won't really care.

Yup this. I think a FB announcement is fine. Life does not stop for either babies or weddings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- i was planning to post on Facebook several days in advance of the wedding, basically as soon as I get my test results back. I would never make some big announcement at the wedding!

If I don't do the above, I will probably take the route of slipping it into conversation at the wedding when I see people, but I was hoping to put it on fb first so I wasn't talking about it very much at the wedding itself. Just trying to be sensitive to the bride. And no, not my sister, an extended family member who is getting married late in life (i.e. Not my generation).

Skip the FB post and anything that's remotely like an "announcement." Just mention it to people you are really close to--parents, siblings, etc.

[Anonymous]

I don't see the issue. As long as you aren't announcing right at her wedding, it's fine. I'm sure the bride will be thrilled for you!

the only thing that I think should be avoided directly before weddings is engagements. Because if you get proposed to a few days before someone's wedding, people will be talking about the next wedding at the actual wedding. I've also seen tacky proposals AT another person's wedding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Slipping it in later during the wedding when most people will be suspicious when they see you is in some ways worse. People will be talking about you and your suspected pregnancy.

No they won't. It's not her day and no one cares about her that much.

No one cares About the bride and groom as much as they care about themselves. Weddings are not four hour affairs where people only think and tallk about the couple. They are family and friends affairs in which people catch up and gossip.

No kidding. People talk about all kinds of things at weddings other than the couple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't announce. Tell your immediate family as you usually do, but then let it work through the rumor mill or come up more naturally in conversation (why aren't you drinking? oh I'm pregnant again).

This makes sense. You can tell people - it really isn't that big a deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would rather come clean before the wedding bc I look fat and won't be drinking. The problem is that I turn 12 weeks that week, and will get my genetic testing results back just a couple days beforehand. Could this be considered stealing the brides thunder in any possible way? I don't think so, but wanted to make sure. It's not my first child so not even particularly exciting or surprising news, as compared to someone who is pg with their first..

What an add you are! You had you bride's day, let this bride have hers.

[Anonymous]

My SIL waited until after my wedding to announce her pregnancy. I was so excited for her and was like, "why didn't you tell everyone at the wedding, when the family was all together??!" Her response was that she didn't want to take away from my day. I was floored. While I would never have seen it that way, obviously she thought enough about it to make the decision she did. Everyone is different, and frankly, I tend to be less sensitive and probably go around stepping on toes more than I realize. It is thoughtful for you to consider her, but I would do what makes sense to you, especially if there are people there you'd like to tell in person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why should you wait? It's not your sister, right?I would tell immediate family and then casually mention it to whoever you see at the wedding. I am assuming you were not planning to put on a slide show or steal the mic before the first dance. I 'announced' a pregnancy at a friend's wedding in that when mutual friends asked me how things were going I said they were going well, job was good, I'm pregnant, sister moved to the west coast, how's your dog? blah blah blah. Don't make a big deal about it and like you said, people won't really care.

Exactly this. Just don't make a big deal out of it. Don't do some big announcement with fanfare. If it comes up in conversation then so be it. I think it's perfectly fine to tell someone what is up in your life. Just don't make it into some "me, me, me" moment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- i was planning to post on Facebook several days in advance of the wedding, basically as soon as I get my test results back. I would never make some big announcement at the wedding!

If I don't do the above, I will probably take the route of slipping it into conversation at the wedding when I see people, but I was hoping to put it on fb first so I wasn't talking about it very much at the wedding itself. Just trying to be sensitive to the bride. And no, not my sister, an extended family member who is getting married late in life (i.e. Not my generation).[/quote

She is getting married much later in life. Let her have this. If you announce on fb days before, people 's comments could go on for days and into the wedding. Wait until after the wedding before telling anyone!

If it were several weeks before he wedding, then that would have been ok, but not a few days.

[Anonymous]

why don't you ask the bride how she feels? there are quite clearly mixed opinions here so despite what we all think, I think it really depends on how the bride feels. maybe she is one of those people that would be hurt that you stole her thunder, maybe she is one of those people that would love to celebrate with you on her day. we can't decide that for you - just ask!

[Anonymous]

I did this. It was specifically to avoid "stealing" attention from the bride and groom on the day of their wedding. I was seeing most of my extended family that day for the first time since I had become visibly pregnant (not just looking fat) and I knew they would make a big deal of it if they found out about the baby for the first time at the wedding. So my mom just mentioned it casually to a few of the more gossipy relatives a few weeks before the wedding, and it was old news by the time I saw everyone.

[Anonymous]

If you can - wait, it's the polite thing to do. If you're bursting at the seams to tell people - tell, but know that the bride might not take it well.

[Anonymous]

I think if you avoid the rehersal/wedding it's not a big deal. Do it at the post wedding brunch (if there is one) or something.

Also for what it's worth you can definitely drink juice or seltzer and wear a figure flattering dress (lots of women don't show at 12 weeks anyway) and folks will be none the wiser.