Is it bad form to announce a pregnancy days before an extended family member's wedding?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why should you wait? It's not your sister, right?I would tell immediate family and then casually mention it to whoever you see at the wedding. I am assuming you were not planning to put on a slide show or steal the mic before the first dance. I 'announced' a pregnancy at a friend's wedding in that when mutual friends asked me how things were going I said they were going well, job was good, I'm pregnant, sister moved to the west coast, how's your dog? blah blah blah. Don't make a big deal about it and like you said, people won't really care.

this

people are so crazy bridezilla and worried about thunder stealing where weddings are concerned. Get over yourselves.

+1


I can't believe the number of people telling you to wait and even lie.

Because we do not know the bride. Some brides would not care, and some will hold a grudge forever. So what is the harm in waiting a few extra days?

[Anonymous]

If the bride has a hissy fit about someone announcing a second pregnancy on Facebook a few days before a wedding, she's nuts.

Plain and simple.

[Anonymous]

If I were the bride, I wouldn't be offended in any way.
But there are some bridezillas out there, so perhaps a safer bet would be to wait...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Slipping it in later during the wedding when most people will be suspicious when they see you is in some ways worse. People will be talking about you and your suspected pregnancy.

No they won't. It's not her day and no one cares about her that much.

If no one cares about her that much, why is it a problem to announce a few days before?

I think your facebook plan sounds fine, assuming you actually call your mother and tell her, or whoever is close enough to deserve that privilege.

[Anonymous]

Why on earth is it necessary to make an "announcement" before a relative's wedding. Oh wait, I know--hey, everyone, LOOK AT ME!

[Anonymous]

No. Wedding is a bigger deal than announcing you're having a baby in 4-6-8 months time. It will be a couple days of calls and then people will get excited for the wedding. Then later about your baby shower and the birth.

Plenty of time to be happy about both big events.

[Anonymous]

I think the FB announcment and/or slipping it into conversation is fine. I think all the people telling you to wait are crazy. The wedding and reception are probably like 5 hours long - during that whole time, guests are only supposed to talk about the bride and groom? No one can share any new or exciting news with people they love and don't see often? I found out I was pregnant a little while before my SIL got married. DH and I didn't tell anyone, it would have meant telling the parents of the bride they would be grandparents for the first time. DH's whole family probably would have been super excited since it was the first baby in 30 years. We called and told his parents a few weeks later. But a random older cousin and it's not your first kid? And your parents/siblings etc already know? Come on, I cannot understand why anyone would think your pregnancy is 'stealing the thunder'.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the FB announcment and/or slipping it into conversation is fine. I think all the people telling you to wait are crazy. The wedding and reception are probably like 5 hours long - during that whole time, guests are only supposed to talk about the bride and groom? No one can share any new or exciting news with people they love and don't see often? I found out I was pregnant a little while before my SIL got married. DH and I didn't tell anyone, it would have meant telling the parents of the bride they would be grandparents for the first time. DH's whole family probably would have been super excited since it was the first baby in 30 years. We called and told his parents a few weeks later. But a random older cousin and it's not your first kid? And your parents/siblings etc already know? Come on, I cannot understand why anyone would think your pregnancy is 'stealing the thunder'.

because people are truly batshit crazy

[Anonymous]

Can someone please post the official length of time prior to the wedding of an extended family member during which wedding guests are to refrain from sharing any joyous news with anyone? For example, is it okay to announce a pregnancy two weeks before your second cousin gets married? What about a month before, would that be okay? Or does all joy need to be hidden for, say, 6 months prior? What if you tell no one but show up to the wedding visibly pregnant? Is that also a faux pas?

People, get over yourselves. The only attention that shouldn't be stolen from the bride and groom is that of their parents. So, no, you shouldn't announce your pregnancy at your sister's rehearsal dinner, because then your mom might be more excited about the baby than about your sister's wedding. But the bride's close family members don't give a damn about their second cousin's second pregnancy.

[Anonymous]

00:19 - thank you....seriously. I appreciate you very much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can someone please post the official length of time prior to the wedding of an extended family member during which wedding guests are to refrain from sharing any joyous news with anyone? For example, is it okay to announce a pregnancy two weeks before your second cousin gets married? What about a month before, would that be okay? Or does all joy need to be hidden for, say, 6 months prior? What if you tell no one but show up to the wedding visibly pregnant? Is that also a faux pas?

People, get over yourselves. The only attention that shouldn't be stolen from the bride and groom is that of their parents. So, no, you shouldn't announce your pregnancy at your sister's rehearsal dinner, because then your mom might be more excited about the baby than about your sister's wedding. But the bride's close family members don't give a damn about their second cousin's second pregnancy.

This may hold true for you, me and a bunch of other people. But there is no way to tell about the bride in this specific case. So I'd say err on the side of being cautious rather than risk back feelings in the family. Yes, she may not care one bit. Or, she may care a lot. Different strokes for different folks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can someone please post the official length of time prior to the wedding of an extended family member during which wedding guests are to refrain from sharing any joyous news with anyone? For example, is it okay to announce a pregnancy two weeks before your second cousin gets married? What about a month before, would that be okay? Or does all joy need to be hidden for, say, 6 months prior? What if you tell no one but show up to the wedding visibly pregnant? Is that also a faux pas?

People, get over yourselves. The only attention that shouldn't be stolen from the bride and groom is that of their parents. So, no, you shouldn't announce your pregnancy at your sister's rehearsal dinner, because then your mom might be more excited about the baby than about your sister's wedding. But the bride's close family members don't give a damn about their second cousin's second pregnancy.

This may hold true for you, me and a bunch of other people. But there is no way to tell about the bride in this specific case. So I'd say err on the side of being cautious rather than risk back feelings in the family. Yes, she may not care one bit. Or, she may care a lot. Different strokes for different folks.

The way to deal with people being ridiculous is not to tip toe through life just in case they might be ridiculous. It's to live you life. If their is fall out, the only correct response is shock because that is the only response to someone being ridiculous.

OP, don't steal the mic at the wedding to announce it during their first dance. Any other way of spreading the news is fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
The way to deal with people being ridiculous is not to tip toe through life just in case they might be ridiculous. It's to live you life. If their is fall out, the only correct response is shock because that is the only response to someone being ridiculous.

OP, don't steal the mic at the wedding to announce it during their first dance. Any other way of spreading the news is fine.

THANK YOU!

Voice of reason

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:seriously? just avoid the question. that is really annoying..what bride wouldn't love to be celebrating somebody else's pregnancy on her big day?

So no one else is allowed to have any happy news at someone else's wedding? Some of my friends got engaged on the steps of the church immediately before my wedding. I was thrilled for them. They knew a handful of other people at my wedding and told them during the reception. I did not care at all.

For OP, her family is only half the wedding, and taking into account the couples friends, it's probably only a dozen or so people who would even care at all. Not like the entire wedding is going to be talking about it.

+1. I went to a wedding where three guests had birthdays on the day of the wedding. I kid you not, the bride had a birthday cake for us and had us come blow out candles (better than I would have got at home!!). No one was any less thrilled for the bride.

[Anonymous]

I think it's totally fine to announce on FB a few days before the wedding, no problem.

That being said, I think this whole "I NEED to announce because I won't be drinking" thing is kind of ridiculous. No one will notice or care what you are or are not drinking. And if they do notice, OK...what are they going to do, run up to the DJ, take the mic and blurt out that you are preggo?

If you really feel the need to "hide" it, take a glass of wine and take a few small sips. NO BIG DEAL. Or do what someone else suggested and carry around something alcoholic-looking, like cranberry with club soda. NO BIG DEAL. Every time someone acts like they have to hide their pregnancy because of drinking/social situations, I'm like, come on...deep down, you just want people to notice and ask you about it, so just announce it, already.