Being a Woman, Manager, and My Tone

[Anonymous]

I think that "tone" in the work place is a stand in for a lot of other things, and it really depends on this particular person. I definitely think that he is shifting blame for a dysfunctional situation onto you - he's the one who was late.

There are some people who really want everything to be collaborative. They want instructions to be formed as requests, and when that does not happen, they feel attacked. I find this really childish, but it's not always new workers - I see it at our firm with people who have been around for a while who resent having to report to someone who is younger/newer than them.

I phrase instructions as requests to my 6 year old because she is 6 and a "Catch more flies with honey" attitude goes a long way with a 6 year old. But if she does not follow the instruction? The first thing I say is, "I said please to be polite, not because it was option. Go do X now."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that "tone" in the work place is a stand in for a lot of other things, and it really depends on this particular person. I definitely think that he is shifting blame for a dysfunctional situation onto you - he's the one who was late.

There are some people who really want everything to be collaborative. They want instructions to be formed as requests, and when that does not happen, they feel attacked. I find this really childish, but it's not always new workers - I see it at our firm with people who have been around for a while who resent having to report to someone who is younger/newer than them.

I phrase instructions as requests to my 6 year old because she is 6 and a "Catch more flies with honey" attitude goes a long way with a 6 year old. But if she does not follow the instruction? The first thing I say is, "I said please to be polite, not because it was option. Go do X now."

Ha, I've actually had to say this to a coworker before (not a peer, I review/approve his work products) when he wouldn't make a correction I requested. I left off the "Go do X now" bit but I was definitely thinking it.