Cannot muster up interest or excitement in hearing about parents' luxurious trip

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, OP. DH and I are busy, tired, and certainly not overflowing with cash. My parents are retired and happy, in a beautiful house. They both worked their asses off to get there, and I'm glad now they have time to travel and relax and enjoy their hobbies.

They don't owe you anything. You'll be there someday. Don't be a jealous person.

This!! My mom and MIL are in their early 70's and both say it is the best time of their lives. I do not resent them a thing!!! They deserve it. Stop being a big-ass baby OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it so obnoxious that the older generation has so much freaking money compared to their kids, who have had to spend more money and time, are deeper in debt, can barely afford a decent house, etc. It was so much easier to save $$ 30 years ago! My MIL goes on and on about how her paycheck always went straight to savings and lectures us on living paycheck to paycheck. Well guess what, your rent back then was only 1/5 of your income!! That's impossible in a decent, safe, reasonable school area now! You didn't have to go to grad school for the same level job, only to graduate and be paid (when adjusted for inflation) way less! OPs parents have the money for fancy trips, cars, houses BECAUSE their generation has made money OFF OURS! Look at the tuition increases alone. It's obscene.

So yes OP, I wouldn't be excited either.

Stop the envy. It wasn't so damn easy for prior generations and they didn't have an abundance of cash while they were in the throws of child rearing--they also didn't have multiple tvs in their homes, multiple cell phones (likely just one landline phone) they they trade up every time a new model cones out, multiple computers that once again they trade up, multiple meals out a restaurants a week/month, trips to the movie theater every time their favorite star released a new film (complete with snacks and drinks), fancy vacations, cleaning ladies, frequent new cars, etc. it was a more frugal generation so yes, they deserve to enjoy themselves in their retirement.

Wait a second - did you just imply that the Boomers are a frugal generation?!?!

compared to the was people throw money around now, yes.

Are you an idiot? Do you think our generation wants to upgrade every year to the latest phone, iPad, laptop, etc. don't you realize that they don't work well if you don't upgrade? That your work hinges on them (but often work doesn't pay for them), and you are pretty much forced to upgrade? Yet another way your generation, corporate execs, are making money off ours. Even the tv! I can't not have cable or Netflix or something, I get two channels otherwise. Wheb you were in your 20s and 30s you had the option of free tv! Your big phone expense back then was how many minutes you spent on long distance ? It's a totally different, more expensive and complicated world now. We have expenses and bills your generation never dreamed of. Well actually they did, they created all these extras, slowly made them essentials and then raked in the $$$

I sit in my college classes at U of MD and listen to the upperclassmen talk about 17% chance of a job when they graduate. Wtf. So they'll graduate with 4 years of debt, be unable to get a job or the job they'll get will pay like $45,000 which is crap and not enough to live on these days. So then they'll think grad school (which is also pretty much a necessity now, thank you boomer generation), so 2-4 more years of school and even greater debt. They won't be able to start saving for retirement until they're 50.

I think most of my generation "throws money around" because you get to
a place where you realize it's all just impossible. Just charge everything in life and think about something else. Don't bother with health care (until ObamaCare thank god), because who can afford that. Never mind dental and vision.

Whatever. Boomer generation, you screwed us. So F you and your fancy trips. You should be taking your kids on trips. You should be buying them cars and helping them with mortgages. Their financial burden is due to you.

You need to upgrade your attitude. GROW UP! You sound like a resentful, entitled, petulant child.

[Anonymous]

OP have a seat next to me, sister. My in-laws pull the same crap. Endless talking about how much money, time and freedom they have to do whatever they want. They divorced recently and have just been living it up. My MIL has a boyfriend with a harley and my FIL is running around the world doing god knows what. Shudder.

Meanwhile, like you I am raising small kids, working, and trying to make our ends wave to each other. My parents are gone, so it's just the in-laws.

What burns me up the most is this. They want their freedom and ability to live without any obligations to their children. That's fine. But when my FIL had a stoke while visiting (he parks his car in our garage when he travels since we live near the closest international airport who burned up her sick leave taking care of the man? Me. Who moved him in for a month so he could recuperate? Me. Who drove his ungrateful ass to endless doctors appointments and therapies. Me. He's not even my father. I got stuck with this because I work from home and have build up leave that my husband doesn't. Right after he left, we had to move. Did anyone offer to help or even bother calling to say man that's sucks and it's been hard. No.

And you know what the man did? He just waltzed out, went on with his life and didn't even thank me. Neither did any of his children.

I am so over my in laws. I didn't even realize it until I wrote this how over them I am.

[Anonymous]

Not OP, but I don't begrudge my parents anything they have - they can take great trips, and do fun activities, and that's great - they worked hard and deserve it. But it does kind of wear me down to have to hear stories about it in the excruciating level of detail that my mom wants to go into. I'm happy to listen for a bit, but it is not something I can really relate to, and so trying to focus on the minutia of why a certain dessert that she had on a trip to Russia was so much better than the American version takes some patience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP have a seat next to me, sister. My in-laws pull the same crap. Endless talking about how much money, time and freedom they have to do whatever they want. They divorced recently and have just been living it up. My MIL has a boyfriend with a harley and my FIL is running around the world doing god knows what. Shudder.

Meanwhile, like you I am raising small kids, working, and trying to make our ends wave to each other. My parents are gone, so it's just the in-laws.

What burns me up the most is this. They want their freedom and ability to live without any obligations to their children. That's fine. But when my FIL had a stoke while visiting (he parks his car in our garage when he travels since we live near the closest international airport who burned up her sick leave taking care of the man? Me. Who moved him in for a month so he could recuperate? Me. Who drove his ungrateful ass to endless doctors appointments and therapies. Me. He's not even my father. I got stuck with this because I work from home and have build up leave that my husband doesn't. Right after he left, we had to move. Did anyone offer to help or even bother calling to say man that's sucks and it's been hard. No.

And you know what the man did? He just waltzed out, went on with his life and didn't even thank me. Neither did any of his children.

I am so over my in laws. I didn't even realize it until I wrote this how over them I am.

I'm sorry, PP. FWIW, thank you for being kind and caring to another human being.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP have a seat next to me, sister. My in-laws pull the same crap. Endless talking about how much money, time and freedom they have to do whatever they want. They divorced recently and have just been living it up. My MIL has a boyfriend with a harley and my FIL is running around the world doing god knows what. Shudder.

Meanwhile, like you I am raising small kids, working, and trying to make our ends wave to each other. My parents are gone, so it's just the in-laws.

What burns me up the most is this. They want their freedom and ability to live without any obligations to their children. That's fine. But when my FIL had a stoke while visiting (he parks his car in our garage when he travels since we live near the closest international airport who burned up her sick leave taking care of the man? Me. Who moved him in for a month so he could recuperate? Me. Who drove his ungrateful ass to endless doctors appointments and therapies. Me. He's not even my father. I got stuck with this because I work from home and have build up leave that my husband doesn't. Right after he left, we had to move. Did anyone offer to help or even bother calling to say man that's sucks and it's been hard. No.

And you know what the man did? He just waltzed out, went on with his life and didn't even thank me. Neither did any of his children.

I am so over my in laws. I didn't even realize it until I wrote this how over them I am.

Exactly what obligation do they have? Is it financial, is it childcare? What exactly are they supposed to do for us? Is this generation so surprised and overwhelmed with the challenges and difficulties of adulthood that we are looking to place blame somewhere and for many of us that blame lays squarely on our parents who we perceive as not 'helping enough'? I truly do not understand this attitude. GROW UP!
And pp, if you are not willingly helping out another person, do.not.do.it.
But to do it and then go back and bash the person, is petty and self-serving. I helped out one of my parents near the end of their life, this person was not nearly the kind of parent they should have been during my childhood. And when they were sick they were neither cooperative nor grateful, but I did what I felt needed to be done. I did what I felt was needed, what was right and within the boundaries I set for myself and my family.
It just baffles me that folks look at their aging parents and get mad and are resentful because the parents are enjoying their lives and the supposedly adult lives feel their own lives are a slog. Try this: make some positive changes in your own life, look to yourselves to be happy, understand that their will times that life sucks and you just have to suck it up and get thru it. Get a clue that being happy for others adds a great measure of happiness to your own life and leaves room for good things and positive attitudes to come your way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP have a seat next to me, sister. My in-laws pull the same crap. Endless talking about how much money, time and freedom they have to do whatever they want. They divorced recently and have just been living it up. My MIL has a boyfriend with a harley and my FIL is running around the world doing god knows what. Shudder.

Meanwhile, like you I am raising small kids, working, and trying to make our ends wave to each other. My parents are gone, so it's just the in-laws.

What burns me up the most is this. They want their freedom and ability to live without any obligations to their children. That's fine. But when my FIL had a stoke while visiting (he parks his car in our garage when he travels since we live near the closest international airport who burned up her sick leave taking care of the man? Me. Who moved him in for a month so he could recuperate? Me. Who drove his ungrateful ass to endless doctors appointments and therapies. Me. He's not even my father. I got stuck with this because I work from home and have build up leave that my husband doesn't. Right after he left, we had to move. Did anyone offer to help or even bother calling to say man that's sucks and it's been hard. No.

And you know what the man did? He just waltzed out, went on with his life and didn't even thank me. Neither did any of his children.

I am so over my in laws. I didn't even realize it until I wrote this how over them I am.

Exactly what obligation do they have? Is it financial, is it childcare? What exactly are they supposed to do for us? Is this generation so surprised and overwhelmed with the challenges and difficulties of adulthood that we are looking to place blame somewhere and for many of us that blame lays squarely on our parents who we perceive as not 'helping enough'? I truly do not understand this attitude. GROW UP!
And pp, if you are not willingly helping out another person, do.not.do.it.
But to do it and then go back and bash the person, is petty and self-serving. I helped out one of my parents near the end of their life, this person was not nearly the kind of parent they should have been during my childhood. And when they were sick they were neither cooperative nor grateful, but I did what I felt needed to be done. I did what I felt was needed, what was right and within the boundaries I set for myself and my family.
It just baffles me that folks look at their aging parents and get mad and are resentful because the parents are enjoying their lives and the supposedly adult lives feel their own lives are a slog. Try this: make some positive changes in your own life, look to yourselves to be happy, understand that their will times that life sucks and you just have to suck it up and get thru it. Get a clue that being happy for others adds a great measure of happiness to your own life and leaves room for good things and positive attitudes to come your way.

I see some Boomers have entered the building. Welcome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP have a seat next to me, sister. My in-laws pull the same crap. Endless talking about how much money, time and freedom they have to do whatever they want. They divorced recently and have just been living it up. My MIL has a boyfriend with a harley and my FIL is running around the world doing god knows what. Shudder.

Meanwhile, like you I am raising small kids, working, and trying to make our ends wave to each other. My parents are gone, so it's just the in-laws.

What burns me up the most is this. They want their freedom and ability to live without any obligations to their children. That's fine. But when my FIL had a stoke while visiting (he parks his car in our garage when he travels since we live near the closest international airport who burned up her sick leave taking care of the man? Me. Who moved him in for a month so he could recuperate? Me. Who drove his ungrateful ass to endless doctors appointments and therapies. Me. He's not even my father. I got stuck with this because I work from home and have build up leave that my husband doesn't. Right after he left, we had to move. Did anyone offer to help or even bother calling to say man that's sucks and it's been hard. No.

And you know what the man did? He just waltzed out, went on with his life and didn't even thank me. Neither did any of his children.

I am so over my in laws. I didn't even realize it until I wrote this how over them I am.

I'm sorry, PP. FWIW, thank you for being kind and caring to another human being.

Kind and caring is not what that pp sounds like. Sounds like she had a funky attitude the entire time she was helping out. Perhaps it was her attitude that made FIL not want to say thanks. Or FIL is just an ungrateful boor and next time pp can pass on helping out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP have a seat next to me, sister. My in-laws pull the same crap. Endless talking about how much money, time and freedom they have to do whatever they want. They divorced recently and have just been living it up. My MIL has a boyfriend with a harley and my FIL is running around the world doing god knows what. Shudder.

Meanwhile, like you I am raising small kids, working, and trying to make our ends wave to each other. My parents are gone, so it's just the in-laws.

What burns me up the most is this. They want their freedom and ability to live without any obligations to their children. That's fine. But when my FIL had a stoke while visiting (he parks his car in our garage when he travels since we live near the closest international airport who burned up her sick leave taking care of the man? Me. Who moved him in for a month so he could recuperate? Me. Who drove his ungrateful ass to endless doctors appointments and therapies. Me. He's not even my father. I got stuck with this because I work from home and have build up leave that my husband doesn't. Right after he left, we had to move. Did anyone offer to help or even bother calling to say man that's sucks and it's been hard. No.

And you know what the man did? He just waltzed out, went on with his life and didn't even thank me. Neither did any of his children.

I am so over my in laws. I didn't even realize it until I wrote this how over them I am.

Exactly what obligation do they have? Is it financial, is it childcare? What exactly are they supposed to do for us? Is this generation so surprised and overwhelmed with the challenges and difficulties of adulthood that we are looking to place blame somewhere and for many of us that blame lays squarely on our parents who we perceive as not 'helping enough'? I truly do not understand this attitude. GROW UP!
And pp, if you are not willingly helping out another person, do.not.do.it.
But to do it and then go back and bash the person, is petty and self-serving. I helped out one of my parents near the end of their life, this person was not nearly the kind of parent they should have been during my childhood. And when they were sick they were neither cooperative nor grateful, but I did what I felt needed to be done. I did what I felt was needed, what was right and within the boundaries I set for myself and my family.
It just baffles me that folks look at their aging parents and get mad and are resentful because the parents are enjoying their lives and the supposedly adult lives feel their own lives are a slog. Try this: make some positive changes in your own life, look to yourselves to be happy, understand that their will times that life sucks and you just have to suck it up and get thru it. Get a clue that being happy for others adds a great measure of happiness to your own life and leaves room for good things and positive attitudes to come your way.

I see some Boomers have entered the building. Welcome.

I am 50. How old are you and mad because your parents are having a good life?

[Anonymous]

Why so hard to spend some time listening to their stories? Your parents listened to your mundane stories too when you're growing up amid their own busy, stressful life.

Would you wants your kids to do the same to you?

You're being disrespectful and selfish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why so hard to spend some time listening to their stories? Your parents listened to your mundane stories too when you're growing up amid their own busy, stressful life.

Would you wants your kids to do the same to you?

You're being disrespectful and selfish.

Some of them just do not get it. I am starting to think the parents spoiled them as kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get you OP.

My parents retired relatively early (mom was 63, Dad was 65) shortly after my Dad's parents died and left him a substantial inheritance. Since then, they have been spending money like there is no tomorrow.
Two brand new luxury cars
Completely renovating there house
Multiple international trips each year, plus other small ones (They are currently on a six week trip to Australia/New Zealand, were in Italy in September, went to the UK in June, and went on a month long cruise around the tip of South America in January/February 2015)

It is frustrating when they start complaining about how "tight" money is for them.

Why is this a problem?

It's a problem because they complain about how money is so tight, yet their spending is out of control.

Are they asking you for money? No? Then pipe down.

Actually yes, they have. They wanted to take my kids on a vacation (not my spouse and I, though) and asked me to contribute. I told her no, because I couldn't afford it. She then said she would not take my kids-- this was after she had told them all about it, showed them pictures and brochures, etc. in he end, my brother, who is extremely kind and generous, gave my parents the money to take my kids.

. They weren't asking for money for themselves...for your children's travel expenses. There is a difference.

On a trip THEY initiated, that THEY talked up to my kids, that THEY said they were paying for, knowing that we couldn't possibly afford it. They were asking me for $4,000 at a time where we literally qualified for (though didn't accept) food stamps! At the same time they were planning additional vacations to Charleston, SC and Boston, Massachusetts (they live in California so both were extensive trips, not just "roadtrip for the long weekend.") You really think that is acceptable?

Ok -- so you could not afford it, so you did not send them. Get a grip. If my parents wanted to take my kids somewhere and I needed to contribute and I could not, then my kids do not go. Simple as that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it so obnoxious that the older generation has so much freaking money compared to their kids, who have had to spend more money and time, are deeper in debt, can barely afford a decent house, etc. It was so much easier to save $$ 30 years ago! My MIL goes on and on about how her paycheck always went straight to savings and lectures us on living paycheck to paycheck. Well guess what, your rent back then was only 1/5 of your income!! That's impossible in a decent, safe, reasonable school area now! You didn't have to go to grad school for the same level job, only to graduate and be paid (when adjusted for inflation) way less! OPs parents have the money for fancy trips, cars, houses BECAUSE their generation has made money OFF OURS! Look at the tuition increases alone. It's obscene.

So yes OP, I wouldn't be excited either.

Such BS if I've ever heard....No they learned to save money for houses with the intent of paying them off. Didn't use them as atm's like most do today. They valued security and home ownership over cable, Iphones, latest computers, suv's, etc.

We live in the cheapest country compared to others. If you can live within your means or below, shows you didn't manage your money well regardless of education.

They are retired and worked hard for their money, OP should be happy and proud of them!

Amen Sister!
Anytime anyone says that they 'have to upgrade' or 'have to have cable' I laugh. NO, the hell you don't 'have' to have to do anything but pay taxes and die.
Generation of entitlement .

[Anonymous]

Why so hard to spend some time listening to their stories? Your parents listened to your mundane stories too when you're growing up amid their own busy, stressful life.

Would you wants your kids to do the same to you?

You're being disrespectful and selfish.
Some of them just do not get it. I am starting to think the parents spoiled them as kids.

No one is refusing to listen to their parents. They are saying that they don't particularly enjoy listening to these types of stories, and that it is difficult to relate to where their parents are coming from because their own lives are so different. There is nothing wrong with having feelings, as long as you don't act on those feelings in a way that it disrespectful or inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it so obnoxious that the older generation has so much freaking money compared to their kids, who have had to spend more money and time, are deeper in debt, can barely afford a decent house, etc. It was so much easier to save $$ 30 years ago! My MIL goes on and on about how her paycheck always went straight to savings and lectures us on living paycheck to paycheck. Well guess what, your rent back then was only 1/5 of your income!! That's impossible in a decent, safe, reasonable school area now! You didn't have to go to grad school for the same level job, only to graduate and be paid (when adjusted for inflation) way less! OPs parents have the money for fancy trips, cars, houses BECAUSE their generation has made money OFF OURS! Look at the tuition increases alone. It's obscene.

So yes OP, I wouldn't be excited either.

Such BS if I've ever heard....No they learned to save money for houses with the intent of paying them off. Didn't use them as atm's like most do today. They valued security and home ownership over cable, Iphones, latest computers, suv's, etc.

We live in the cheapest country compared to others. If you can live within your means or below, shows you didn't manage your money well regardless of education.

They are retired and worked hard for their money, OP should be happy and proud of them!

Amen Sister!
Anytime anyone says that they 'have to upgrade' or 'have to have cable' I laugh. NO, the hell you don't 'have' to have to do anything but pay taxes and die.
Generation of entitlement .

Lady, you've got to realize not everything lives like this. My DH and I? Married when I was 30 and he was 32. We both have Master's degrees. Paid for both ourselves. One year later bought a TH in Herndon. Have lived there ever since. A few years ago refinanced to a 15-year mortgage to pay it off more quickly. We both work. Paid for infertility treatments ("undiagnosed infertility") out of pocket b/c insurance did not cover. Then paid for two international adoptions. Have two kids. We continue to work. Both kids have SNs (b/c that is how adoptions from this country are).

To save money for all of the above, and to pay for grad school, no tv service in home until about two years ago. Now, basic cable. My cell phone is about 8 years old, a flip, and does not send or receive texts, only phone calls. We had one car until we had cash for a second. Now we have a 7yo and a 9yo car, both paid for with cash and we will drive them and maintain them as long as possible before we have cash for a new one.

Struggle, struggle, toil, and trouble. Did my parents watch their pennies? Sure they did. They did not seem to have the barrels consistently thrown at them, though. Good thing I am paying into Social Security though so I can at least count on that later. Oh wait. . . .