Cannot muster up interest or excitement in hearing about parents' luxurious trip

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get you OP.

My parents retired relatively early (mom was 63, Dad was 65) shortly after my Dad's parents died and left him a substantial inheritance. Since then, they have been spending money like there is no tomorrow.
Two brand new luxury cars
Completely renovating there house
Multiple international trips each year, plus other small ones (They are currently on a six week trip to Australia/New Zealand, were in Italy in September, went to the UK in June, and went on a month long cruise around the tip of South America in January/February 2015)

It is frustrating when they start complaining about how "tight" money is for them.

Wow. I am truly stunned at the envy on this thread.

But certainly glad your parents are enjoying their golden years -- and spending the crap out of your inheritance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I totally get it OP. My parents do the same thing. They invite us to dinner at their house, set up a slideshow on the tv and tell us every little detail. Of every single day. I'm happy to listen for 15-20 minutes, but enough already. We are family and I love them, but I think anything more than 20 minutes is excessive and frankly RUDE. It's inappropriate to wax on and on and on about your good fortune to anyone, family or not. Some details are ok, but there's a limit. Especially when the person you're addressing isn't able to afford what you did/bought/experienced. It's like the friends on Facebook with the excessive pics of the ins and outs of every day of their vacation.

OP, I'd be dreading it too. I like the idea of setting a time limit "I only have 15 minutes"... In my case, we bring our young kids to my parents post-trip dinners, and the kids need our attention/help/etc after about 15 min, so it's a natural break.

You're human OP!

See, I think that's a separate issue. No one really wants to sit and listen anyone talk for an hour about their vacation, and no one wants to look at the 300 photos you took, but that's separate from being unwilling to listen to your mom talk about the fun thing she just did. It sounds like OP just doesn't want to hear about the trip at all, which is sad. I mean, I'm low on vacation and money is tight, but when my mom went to Turkey for two weeks with her best friend, I did want to hear about it when she came back. She was excited and happy, and I was excited and happy for her. Yeah, I would have liked to have gone, too, but I couldn't, and that wasn't her fault, so why should I begrudge her her enjoyment?

[Anonymous]

Jeez - OP is probably just venting. Can't we all commiserate? If you're in a tough bind - even if you're not resentful of your parents, you're just not in the mood to be all cheery with them.

OP - can you be honest with your mom? Tell her you're happy for her and you can't wait to be out of the woods with the kids to have some relaxation time. Can you ask them to babysit one weekend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents just got back from a three-week trip to (leaving out details just in case). Meanwhile, my DH and I are in the weeds - have been for years -- with two young kids, two careers, a few SNs thrown in there with 1-2 of the kids, watching our pennies, etc. Nothing crazy, but you know, like how a lot of young busy families are around here. I am so exhausted I just feel like I can not muster up excitement to hear all that my mom will want to chatter on to me about with her trip. Do I just have to suck it up and do it anyway? Help?

Yes, the bitches on this board have no empathy or see no value in extended family helping with child-rearing. Which is sad.

Just tell her, truthfully, that you don't have time b/c your busy with (items 1-4) and you'll talk about it when you have more time. Or invite her to email you some pics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get you OP.

My parents retired relatively early (mom was 63, Dad was 65) shortly after my Dad's parents died and left him a substantial inheritance. Since then, they have been spending money like there is no tomorrow.
Two brand new luxury cars
Completely renovating there house
Multiple international trips each year, plus other small ones (They are currently on a six week trip to Australia/New Zealand, were in Italy in September, went to the UK in June, and went on a month long cruise around the tip of South America in January/February 2015)

It is frustrating when they start complaining about how "tight" money is for them.

Why is this a problem?

[Anonymous]

I find it so obnoxious that the older generation has so much freaking money compared to their kids, who have had to spend more money and time, are deeper in debt, can barely afford a decent house, etc. It was so much easier to save $$ 30 years ago! My MIL goes on and on about how her paycheck always went straight to savings and lectures us on living paycheck to paycheck. Well guess what, your rent back then was only 1/5 of your income!! That's impossible in a decent, safe, reasonable school area now! You didn't have to go to grad school for the same level job, only to graduate and be paid (when adjusted for inflation) way less! OPs parents have the money for fancy trips, cars, houses BECAUSE their generation has made money OFF OURS! Look at the tuition increases alone. It's obscene.

So yes OP, I wouldn't be excited either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get you OP.

My parents retired relatively early (mom was 63, Dad was 65) shortly after my Dad's parents died and left him a substantial inheritance. Since then, they have been spending money like there is no tomorrow.
Two brand new luxury cars
Completely renovating there house
Multiple international trips each year, plus other small ones (They are currently on a six week trip to Australia/New Zealand, were in Italy in September, went to the UK in June, and went on a month long cruise around the tip of South America in January/February 2015)

It is frustrating when they start complaining about how "tight" money is for them.

Why is this a problem?

It's a problem because they complain about how money is so tight, yet their spending is out of control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get you OP.

My parents retired relatively early (mom was 63, Dad was 65) shortly after my Dad's parents died and left him a substantial inheritance. Since then, they have been spending money like there is no tomorrow.
Two brand new luxury cars
Completely renovating there house
Multiple international trips each year, plus other small ones (They are currently on a six week trip to Australia/New Zealand, were in Italy in September, went to the UK in June, and went on a month long cruise around the tip of South America in January/February 2015)

It is frustrating when they start complaining about how "tight" money is for them.

Why is this a problem?

It's a problem because they complain about how money is so tight, yet their spending is out of control.

Are they asking you for money? No? Then pipe down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find it so obnoxious that the older generation has so much freaking money compared to their kids, who have had to spend more money and time, are deeper in debt, can barely afford a decent house, etc. It was so much easier to save $$ 30 years ago! My MIL goes on and on about how her paycheck always went straight to savings and lectures us on living paycheck to paycheck. Well guess what, your rent back then was only 1/5 of your income!! That's impossible in a decent, safe, reasonable school area now! You didn't have to go to grad school for the same level job, only to graduate and be paid (when adjusted for inflation) way less! OPs parents have the money for fancy trips, cars, houses BECAUSE their generation has made money OFF OURS! Look at the tuition increases alone. It's obscene.

So yes OP, I wouldn't be excited either.

Not really.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:jealousy is such and ugly thing especially when it's about your parents. They owe you nothing. Get some scissors for those weeds. The exercise will help you forget your jealousy.

This. Ate your patents not supposed to muster the decency to listen to you prattle on about your kids and work, etc? Please des leith your issues instead of begrudging others their happiness,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find it so obnoxious that the older generation has so much freaking money compared to their kids, who have had to spend more money and time, are deeper in debt, can barely afford a decent house, etc. It was so much easier to save $$ 30 years ago! My MIL goes on and on about how her paycheck always went straight to savings and lectures us on living paycheck to paycheck. Well guess what, your rent back then was only 1/5 of your income!! That's impossible in a decent, safe, reasonable school area now! You didn't have to go to grad school for the same level job, only to graduate and be paid (when adjusted for inflation) way less! OPs parents have the money for fancy trips, cars, houses BECAUSE their generation has made money OFF OURS! Look at the tuition increases alone. It's obscene.

So yes OP, I wouldn't be excited either.

Stop the envy. It wasn't so damn easy for prior generations and they didn't have an abundance of cash while they were in the throws of child rearing--they also didn't have multiple tvs in their homes, multiple cell phones (likely just one landline phone) they they trade up every time a new model cones out, multiple computers that once again they trade up, multiple meals out a restaurants a week/month, trips to the movie theater every time their favorite star released a new film (complete with snacks and drinks), fancy vacations, cleaning ladies, frequent new cars, etc. it was a more frugal generation so yes, they deserve to enjoy themselves in their retirement.

[Anonymous]

Op, stall until you can muster 20 minutes to call and hear about the trip. Like any other relationship - parents are no different - when you've had enough, redirect the conversation. You have to be very direct and actually say that it hard "to relate" and "can we talk about something different". Or just get off the phone. No one gets to monopolize a conversation when the other party isn't (endlessly) interested. With that empowerment comes the responsibility to ignire our envy, not mention it and not make this about you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents just got back from a three-week trip to (leaving out details just in case). Meanwhile, my DH and I are in the weeds - have been for years -- with two young kids, two careers, a few SNs thrown in there with 1-2 of the kids, watching our pennies, etc. Nothing crazy, but you know, like how a lot of young busy families are around here. I am so exhausted I just feel like I can not muster up excitement to hear all that my mom will want to chatter on to me about with her trip. Do I just have to suck it up and do it anyway? Help?

Yes, the bitches on this board have no empathy or see no value in extended family helping with child-rearing. Which is sad.

Just tell her, truthfully, that you don't have time b/c your busy with (items 1-4) and you'll talk about it when you have more time. Or invite her to email you some pics.

why would anyone want to help the bitches on this board with childbearing when they will be criticized for everything they do or do not do by their ungrateful, narcissistic adult children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it so obnoxious that the older generation has so much freaking money compared to their kids, who have had to spend more money and time, are deeper in debt, can barely afford a decent house, etc. It was so much easier to save $$ 30 years ago! My MIL goes on and on about how her paycheck always went straight to savings and lectures us on living paycheck to paycheck. Well guess what, your rent back then was only 1/5 of your income!! That's impossible in a decent, safe, reasonable school area now! You didn't have to go to grad school for the same level job, only to graduate and be paid (when adjusted for inflation) way less! OPs parents have the money for fancy trips, cars, houses BECAUSE their generation has made money OFF OURS! Look at the tuition increases alone. It's obscene.

So yes OP, I wouldn't be excited either.

Stop the envy. It wasn't so damn easy for prior generations and they didn't have an abundance of cash while they were in the throws of child rearing--they also didn't have multiple tvs in their homes, multiple cell phones (likely just one landline phone) they they trade up every time a new model cones out, multiple computers that once again they trade up, multiple meals out a restaurants a week/month, trips to the movie theater every time their favorite star released a new film (complete with snacks and drinks), fancy vacations, cleaning ladies, frequent new cars, etc. it was a more frugal generation so yes, they deserve to enjoy themselves in their retirement.

Wait a second - did you just imply that the Boomers are a frugal generation?!?!

[Anonymous]

^^^btw, don't have kids if you aren't prepared to raise them yourself and font expect family to want to help out if you have no interest in their lives and no respect for their choices or opinions. If my kids grow up to act like the women on this board they will see not a minute of my time or a dime of my money. Hopefully, I am raiding better human beings--and they choose equally decent partners in life.