Trying really hard to not be that DIL

[Anonymous]

You were right OP. Adults do not draw on tables. I wouldn't have let her demo that for my kid either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, one time my MIL brought silly string to a really nice restaurant and started handing it out to my kids and their cousins (who were all around 2 to 3 at the time). Absolutely the most horrifying thing ever. I couldn't contain the situation fast enough.

Wow! I didn't know whether to laugh or shriek when I read this. That's a new one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, ok, I'll bite. I f'd up. I said that originally. My reaction was too strong.

So for those of you who think I'm a nightmare, tell me what I should do next time my MIL is writing on a table at a restaurant and encouraging my child to do the same thing.

Address your son! Smile at him and say, "Isn't Grammy being silly? We don't write on the table!" Address the person at YOU are responsible for.

This. I always correct my child. I will speak to my kid and say "Oops, the manager may not like that, lets use some paper so we can take home the drawing you and grandma make" I dont have to address any adult I have no responsibility over. I think, that itself would keep the ill-advice of the other adult in check. When you are not present, you cant do this but remember, your child will heed to your advice more often if it is said even in the presence of others who say differently.

And yes, you reacted in a quick way, I am guessing cause you were trying to stop it before it happened. That's ok, just say sorry next time to your MIL when you do such things and let your child see that too and go on to be your child's parent no matter what.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, ok, I'll bite. I f'd up. I said that originally. My reaction was too strong.

So for those of you who think I'm a nightmare, tell me what I should do next time my MIL is writing on a table at a restaurant and encouraging my child to do the same thing.

Address your son! Smile at him and say, "Isn't Grammy being silly? We don't write on the table!" Address the person at YOU are responsible for.

This. I always correct my child. I will speak to my kid and say "Oops, the manager may not like that, lets use some paper so we can take home the drawing you and grandma make" I dont have to address any adult I have no responsibility over. I think, that itself would keep the ill-advice of the other adult in check. When you are not present, you cant do this but remember, your child will heed to your advice more often if it is said even in the presence of others who say differently.

And yes, you reacted in a quick way, I am guessing cause you were trying to stop it before it happened. That's ok, just say sorry next time to your MIL when you do such things and let your child see that too and go on to be your child's parent no matter what.

Please, no apology is needed here. The MIL was clearly in the wrong. The woman doesn't have dementia--she knew exactly what she was doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was with my MIL and my daughter at Disney, and MIL threw such a huge fit over a perceived slight from the ride attendant she refused to get off the ride and they ended up calling security. They held up the entire line for almost 30 minutes until the "situation could be resolved". My MIL wouldn't budge not matter how much I begged her to get off the ride. I was beyond embarrassed and ashamed, even though I didn't know any of the other people there. At the same time I felt it was showing my daughter a terrible example of how to treat service people (MIL was yelling insults and obscenities). But I just kept my calm, even though inside I was fuming. I would suggest next time, mildly but firmly stating you do not allow your children to do x (write on tables, run in a restaurant, scream inside, etc.), not in a laughing condescending way, but in a calm way. And be thankful you aren't begging security NOT to arrest your MIL at the dumbo ride.

You sound like a very nice person. Nicer than me, in fact. I would have said go ahead and arrest her. Then I'd tell my kids that's what happens to people who do that.

Cosigned. I would have left her ass there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, ok, I'll bite. I f'd up. I said that originally. My reaction was too strong.

So for those of you who think I'm a nightmare, tell me what I should do next time my MIL is writing on a table at a restaurant and encouraging my child to do the same thing.

Give them paper.

[Anonymous]

Op, taking something out of an adult's hand is very combative. You were totally right on the issue, but should apologize for that action

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your mother in law showed poor judgement. So did you. You were angry and I'm assuming that the tension has been building for years.

On a flight one time, my MIL taught our 2 year old to stand in his seat and push the overhead buttons for fun. Annoying to other passengers, the flight attendants and dangerous to DS if there was unexpected turbulence. I held my tongue until we were alone and told her why that was unacceptable.

so your son was in danger to placate mother-in-law. I can't believe you're giving your example of yourself as a pushover for OP to supposedly follow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, ok, I'll bite. I f'd up. I said that originally. My reaction was too strong.

So for those of you who think I'm a nightmare, tell me what I should do next time my MIL is writing on a table at a restaurant and encouraging my child to do the same thing.

Address your son! Smile at him and say, "Isn't Grammy being silly? We don't write on the table!" Address the person at YOU are responsible for.

do you think calling her a name like "silly" would have been that much better?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was with my MIL and my daughter at Disney, and MIL threw such a huge fit over a perceived slight from the ride attendant she refused to get off the ride and they ended up calling security. They held up the entire line for almost 30 minutes until the "situation could be resolved". My MIL wouldn't budge not matter how much I begged her to get off the ride. I was beyond embarrassed and ashamed, even though I didn't know any of the other people there. At the same time I felt it was showing my daughter a terrible example of how to treat service people (MIL was yelling insults and obscenities). But I just kept my calm, even though inside I was fuming. I would suggest next time, mildly but firmly stating you do not allow your children to do x (write on tables, run in a restaurant, scream inside, etc.), not in a laughing condescending way, but in a calm way. And be thankful you aren't begging security NOT to arrest your MIL at the dumbo ride.

Yeah I probably would have walked away and let her get arrested...

+1. No reason for you and your child to witness this ghastly behavior.

+1 Especially the child!