Trying really hard to not be that DIL
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Anonymous
What pain - the pain of not having sufficient social skills to manage a situation that arises during a family meal out? OP, drop the condescension and get creative! I'm wondering if this thread is real or not. |
Anonymous
The pain of people who don't know how to act like adults and then drag your kids into their stupidity. I couldn't care less if you want to be a jackass and draw on a restaurant's table, but don't show that to my kid, especially when I'm in the position of trying to teach my kid to respect you. |
Anonymous
I'm not the Op but I believe this thread is real. I am "that DIL" too and I always will be no matter how tactful I try to be. Some people are just stupid and it sounds like OP's MIL falls in that group (who would possibly think it's okay to write on a table??? in a restaurant???). I have a stupid MIL too (she apparently had a smart mother and husband but they have been dead for many years so she's on her own now). Even if op had nicely suggested drawing on paper, op would have been wrong b/c her MIL will always think she is right and OP is wrong. |
Anonymous
I'm not the OP, either, but I'm always struck by the people in this forum who aren't able to see and/or understand that most of the time, people asking advice here aren't asking because of one or a couple of irritating instances, but because of having to deal with repeated stupidity and disrespect. |
Anonymous
| ON the table? Like literally, ON the table? WTF? I think you reacted correctly. Jesus christ. Since when is destruction of property ok, MIL??? |
Anonymous
In that case you were fine OP. I mean, there were probably better ways to handle it than yanking the crayon from her hand (maybe saying exactly what you said without grabbing it) but honestly, coloring directly on a table is so far out of the realm of normal manners that I think you were fine. If she is going to act like a toddler ... Treat her like one! Maybe she'll get annoyed and stop. 
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Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
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You didn't grab something from an adult's hand and scold them. Tell me you didn't do that.
When someone tries to tell my children to do something I don't allow, I laugh as if they're joking, and I smile, and I say, "We don't let the kids do that." You can be pleasant and firm, but you don't let it happen. Later, when I'm alone with the kids, I reinforce the rule, and remind them that just because others might do something, doesn't mean we do it. |
Anonymous
+2 |
Anonymous
Except in this case when OP's MIL is doing something so embarrassing to the entire party that I would be tempted to leave her right there. She was rude and incredibly out of line and the only thing more fitting would be if the server had done it to her. |
Anonymous
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Do you allow your kids to snatch things from others, OP? No? Then why did you?
"When you feel so mad that you want to roar, take a deep breath...and count to four." --Daniel Tiger Why are you worried that she doesn't know how to behave, when YOU don't? |
Anonymous
This OP! Next time follow the advice of PPs 13:26 or 13:58. I'm curious to know how the rest of your meal went |
Anonymous
This exactly. I agree that you needed to step in and stop them from writing on the table (WTF!!) but this would have been a better way. My MIL is pretty great but I accassionally have to remind some of the grandparents that I don't want my son to learn bad habits from them. In a SAHM and sometimes am so used to dealing with the preschooler and baby that I forget and talk to my husband the same way. The other day he had been in the bathroom for a while and out of habit I yelled thru the door 'that's enough, finish up and wash your hands!' That kind of thing happens more often than I'd like to admit, luckily my husband and I can laugh it off. Just try to remember that you're talking to another adult and frame things differently. |
Anonymous
| That would be super annoying to me too, and for those of you being harsh, I can see how OP just instinctively took the pencil without thinking about it. I bet everyone here has done things about thinking about it too so STF up. |
Anonymous
Yaaaaasssss!!!! |