My parents don't want to vacation with us

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My own mom would stay in a brothel in vegas if it meant being with her kids for a week. Sorry yours suck.

+1!!!!

Why do people have kids if they hate them so much? I don't get it.

You all are silly. I love my kids. I plan on being as involved a grandma as I possibly can be. But when that happens I will not be a young woman anymore. I will want my own space and I will not want to wait on people hand and foot and spend all of my time babysitting my grandkids. Watching them for an evening while their parents go out? Oh, yes. Absolutely. Watching them all week while their parents go off and leave me and the kids in the dust? No. Not up for that. And you expect me to pay for that "vacation"? Ha!

[Anonymous]

You ask how you can convince your parents to vacation with you, and I think the obvious answer is that you can't. The only thing you can control is your own expectations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Single aunt here- I don't want to vacation with my brothers kids either. That isn't a vacation, it's a week of them expected me to be a babysitter because they work so hard. Yeah I chose to be child free for a reason and have zero desire to go to OBX when I can be in Belize instead. I go home and visit very frequently (always me flying home, never ever them making an effort to visit me in 10 years) and when I'm home for my 3-5 days I love being an aunt and help out where ever and however I can. But no way am I going on screaming kid vacations to some place in a Carolina where I'm expected to babysit all week. Nope! I'll visit and love my nieces and nephews once a month (a 3 hr flight away) on my schedule. When I get two weeks off, I'm going on s safari. Not being cramped in your beach house from hell.

Preach it sister.

You visit your brother once a month for 3 to 5 days at a time, on YOUR schedule? And bro is cool with that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have two young kids and only stay in 5 star hotels/resorts. I don't want to stay at some rickety beach house, to be honest. If I'm going on vacation, I want to ENJOY that vacation.

Short version: "I'm an insufferable princess!"

ehh I'm not high maintenance but I feel similarly. If I have to cook or clean or do laundry it's not a vacation, it's a trip. I dislike beach houses.

There's a big difference between "rickety beach house" and "only 5-star resorts" so PP comes off as clueless and snotty. You don't have to choose only 5-star in order to not cook or do laundry.

I say this as someone who's had a great time at some very exclusive resorts and also at non-rickety beach houses. The amount of enjoyment I get is usually more based on who I'm with and what we're doing (agree on the no/not much cooking and cleaning!)

NP here. But that is you. What feels like a vacation to different people is different and that is okay. Everyone doesn't have to want to vacation like you do or OP does. It's their choice to vacation how they want and your choice to vacation as you want. You may think that makes them an insufferable princess but I am sure they could use some less than flattering terms about you as well. Or we could all just accept that different people like different things and that is okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Single aunt here- I don't want to vacation with my brothers kids either. That isn't a vacation, it's a week of them expected me to be a babysitter because they work so hard. Yeah I chose to be child free for a reason and have zero desire to go to OBX when I can be in Belize instead. I go home and visit very frequently (always me flying home, never ever them making an effort to visit me in 10 years) and when I'm home for my 3-5 days I love being an aunt and help out where ever and however I can. But no way am I going on screaming kid vacations to some place in a Carolina where I'm expected to babysit all week. Nope! I'll visit and love my nieces and nephews once a month (a 3 hr flight away) on my schedule. When I get two weeks off, I'm going on s safari. Not being cramped in your beach house from hell.

Preach it sister.

You visit your brother once a month for 3 to 5 days at a time, on YOUR schedule? And bro is cool with that?

Not a PP but if I were her brother I'd be fine with that. She seems like a very reasonable loving involved aunt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My own mom would stay in a brothel in vegas if it meant being with her kids for a week. Sorry yours suck.

+1!!!!

Why do people have kids if they hate them so much? I don't get it.

You all are silly. I love my kids. I plan on being as involved a grandma as I possibly can be. But when that happens I will not be a young woman anymore. I will want my own space and I will not want to wait on people hand and foot and spend all of my time babysitting my grandkids. Watching them for an evening while their parents go out? Oh, yes. Absolutely. Watching them all week while their parents go off and leave me and the kids in the dust? No. Not up for that. And you expect me to pay for that "vacation"? Ha!

I'm sorry, but where did anyone ask the OP's parents to watch the kids all week and pay for the vacation? I (and I think many others) certainly agree what you are describing would be crazy.

My comment was directed towards the grandparents who truly want to be left alone, who don't want to travel or make any compromises to see their grandkids. It was not directed at you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Single aunt here- I don't want to vacation with my brothers kids either. That isn't a vacation, it's a week of them expected me to be a babysitter because they work so hard. Yeah I chose to be child free for a reason and have zero desire to go to OBX when I can be in Belize instead. I go home and visit very frequently (always me flying home, never ever them making an effort to visit me in 10 years) and when I'm home for my 3-5 days I love being an aunt and help out where ever and however I can. But no way am I going on screaming kid vacations to some place in a Carolina where I'm expected to babysit all week. Nope! I'll visit and love my nieces and nephews once a month (a 3 hr flight away) on my schedule. When I get two weeks off, I'm going on s safari. Not being cramped in your beach house from hell.

Preach it sister.

You visit your brother once a month for 3 to 5 days at a time, on YOUR schedule? And bro is cool with that?

Not a PP but if I were her brother I'd be fine with that. She seems like a very reasonable loving involved aunt.

I love my family. But I wouldn't want any of them showing up at my house once a month for days like that. Especially unplanned and not on my schedule. This is my home, not a hotel. Kwim?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Single aunt here- I don't want to vacation with my brothers kids either. That isn't a vacation, it's a week of them expected me to be a babysitter because they work so hard. Yeah I chose to be child free for a reason and have zero desire to go to OBX when I can be in Belize instead. I go home and visit very frequently (always me flying home, never ever them making an effort to visit me in 10 years) and when I'm home for my 3-5 days I love being an aunt and help out where ever and however I can. But no way am I going on screaming kid vacations to some place in a Carolina where I'm expected to babysit all week. Nope! I'll visit and love my nieces and nephews once a month (a 3 hr flight away) on my schedule. When I get two weeks off, I'm going on s safari. Not being cramped in your beach house from hell.

Preach it sister.

You visit your brother once a month for 3 to 5 days at a time, on YOUR schedule? And bro is cool with that?

Not a PP but if I were her brother I'd be fine with that. She seems like a very reasonable loving involved aunt.

I love my family. But I wouldn't want any of them showing up at my house once a month for days like that. Especially unplanned and not on my schedule. This is my home, not a hotel. Kwim?

You are an aunt. You are not a grandparent. To me, that's a lot different. You chose not to have kids, and that is your choice.

Grandparents signed up to be grandparents when they had kids. They can still be selfish if they want to but it's probably going to piss some people off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Single aunt here- I don't want to vacation with my brothers kids either. That isn't a vacation, it's a week of them expected me to be a babysitter because they work so hard. Yeah I chose to be child free for a reason and have zero desire to go to OBX when I can be in Belize instead. I go home and visit very frequently (always me flying home, never ever them making an effort to visit me in 10 years) and when I'm home for my 3-5 days I love being an aunt and help out where ever and however I can. But no way am I going on screaming kid vacations to some place in a Carolina where I'm expected to babysit all week. Nope! I'll visit and love my nieces and nephews once a month (a 3 hr flight away) on my schedule. When I get two weeks off, I'm going on s safari. Not being cramped in your beach house from hell.

Preach it sister.

You visit your brother once a month for 3 to 5 days at a time, on YOUR schedule? And bro is cool with that?

Not a PP but if I were her brother I'd be fine with that. She seems like a very reasonable loving involved aunt.

I love my family. But I wouldn't want any of them showing up at my house once a month for days like that. Especially unplanned and not on my schedule. This is my home, not a hotel. Kwim?

Amen! We only want family once a month or every six weeks, if that; and we alternate DH family and mine. No way I'd want my single brother around for 3-5 days every month! No, thanks. And I like him and so do my kids...but that is WAY too much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Single aunt here- I don't want to vacation with my brothers kids either. That isn't a vacation, it's a week of them expected me to be a babysitter because they work so hard. Yeah I chose to be child free for a reason and have zero desire to go to OBX when I can be in Belize instead. I go home and visit very frequently (always me flying home, never ever them making an effort to visit me in 10 years) and when I'm home for my 3-5 days I love being an aunt and help out where ever and however I can. But no way am I going on screaming kid vacations to some place in a Carolina where I'm expected to babysit all week. Nope! I'll visit and love my nieces and nephews once a month (a 3 hr flight away) on my schedule. When I get two weeks off, I'm going on s safari. Not being cramped in your beach house from hell.

Preach it sister.

You visit your brother once a month for 3 to 5 days at a time, on YOUR schedule? And bro is cool with that?

Not a PP but if I were her brother I'd be fine with that. She seems like a very reasonable loving involved aunt.

I love my family. But I wouldn't want any of them showing up at my house once a month for days like that. Especially unplanned and not on my schedule. This is my home, not a hotel. Kwim?

Amen! We only want family once a month or every six weeks, if that; and we alternate DH family and mine. No way I'd want my single brother around for 3-5 days every month! No, thanks. And I like him and so do my kids...but that is WAY too much.

If they are willing to do the same for us in their neck of the woods...of course they can stay. If not. Hotel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Single aunt here- I don't want to vacation with my brothers kids either. That isn't a vacation, it's a week of them expected me to be a babysitter because they work so hard. Yeah I chose to be child free for a reason and have zero desire to go to OBX when I can be in Belize instead. I go home and visit very frequently (always me flying home, never ever them making an effort to visit me in 10 years) and when I'm home for my 3-5 days I love being an aunt and help out where ever and however I can. But no way am I going on screaming kid vacations to some place in a Carolina where I'm expected to babysit all week. Nope! I'll visit and love my nieces and nephews once a month (a 3 hr flight away) on my schedule. When I get two weeks off, I'm going on s safari. Not being cramped in your beach house from hell.

Preach it sister.

You visit your brother once a month for 3 to 5 days at a time, on YOUR schedule? And bro is cool with that?

Not a PP but if I were her brother I'd be fine with that. She seems like a very reasonable loving involved aunt.

I love my family. But I wouldn't want any of them showing up at my house once a month for days like that. Especially unplanned and not on my schedule. This is my home, not a hotel. Kwim?

Amen! We only want family once a month or every six weeks, if that; and we alternate DH family and mine. No way I'd want my single brother around for 3-5 days every month! No, thanks. And I like him and so do my kids...but that is WAY too much.

If they are willing to do the same for us in their neck of the woods...of course they can stay. If not. Hotel.

It's not even that, it's just we like our "regular" life and don't want to disrupt it all the time for visitors. My ILs don't get this. I've tried explaining, I don't even want George Clooney or Oprah as a houseguest once a month!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Like PPs have said, they've made themselves clear. You should respect their decision. You should also not be stressing over their visit to your house. Have them stay in a 5 star hotel, order out, live your life as you normally would.

NP here. I can never respect a decision like this. I can accept it and move on. But I wouldn't respect it or them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My own mom would stay in a brothel in vegas if it meant being with her kids for a week. Sorry yours suck.

+1!!!!

Why do people have kids if they hate them so much? I don't get it.

You all are silly. I love my kids. I plan on being as involved a grandma as I possibly can be. But when that happens I will not be a young woman anymore. I will want my own space and I will not want to wait on people hand and foot and spend all of my time babysitting my grandkids. Watching them for an evening while their parents go out? Oh, yes. Absolutely. Watching them all week while their parents go off and leave me and the kids in the dust? No. Not up for that. And you expect me to pay for that "vacation"? Ha!

Wow. I"m so glad I have such fond memories of my grandparents, who did "babysit" us for weeks at a time. They actually liked to spend time with us. They didn't view it as "babysitting" but as spending time with their grandparents. And, they still traveled on their own to have their free time.

And, there is a medium between one night all "all week", as you are well aware. But, that would entail a discussion as to what your expectations are with your kids. Sounds rather difficult for you if you're that testy about a week with your grandchildren. You're a sad person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Single aunt here- I don't want to vacation with my brothers kids either. That isn't a vacation, it's a week of them expected me to be a babysitter because they work so hard. Yeah I chose to be child free for a reason and have zero desire to go to OBX when I can be in Belize instead. I go home and visit very frequently (always me flying home, never ever them making an effort to visit me in 10 years) and when I'm home for my 3-5 days I love being an aunt and help out where ever and however I can. But no way am I going on screaming kid vacations to some place in a Carolina where I'm expected to babysit all week. Nope! I'll visit and love my nieces and nephews once a month (a 3 hr flight away) on my schedule. When I get two weeks off, I'm going on s safari. Not being cramped in your beach house from hell.

Preach it sister.

You visit your brother once a month for 3 to 5 days at a time, on YOUR schedule? And bro is cool with that?

Not a PP but if I were her brother I'd be fine with that. She seems like a very reasonable loving involved aunt.

I love my family. But I wouldn't want any of them showing up at my house once a month for days like that. Especially unplanned and not on my schedule. This is my home, not a hotel. Kwim?

Amen! We only want family once a month or every six weeks, if that; and we alternate DH family and mine. No way I'd want my single brother around for 3-5 days every month! No, thanks. And I like him and so do my kids...but that is WAY too much.

If they are willing to do the same for us in their neck of the woods...of course they can stay. If not. Hotel.

It's not even that, it's just we like our "regular" life and don't want to disrupt it all the time for visitors. My ILs don't get this. I've tried explaining, I don't even want George Clooney or Oprah as a houseguest once a month!

Absolutely. Anyone with an ounce of consideration "gets" that. We enjoy have overnight guests maybe quarterly (at most). A solid week is fine but I can only do that for certain people and not multiple times throughout the year.

It just isn't what we are used to. We *need* our privacy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My own mom would stay in a brothel in vegas if it meant being with her kids for a week. Sorry yours suck.

+1!!!!

Why do people have kids if they hate them so much? I don't get it.

You all are silly. I love my kids. I plan on being as involved a grandma as I possibly can be. But when that happens I will not be a young woman anymore. I will want my own space and I will not want to wait on people hand and foot and spend all of my time babysitting my grandkids. Watching them for an evening while their parents go out? Oh, yes. Absolutely. Watching them all week while their parents go off and leave me and the kids in the dust? No. Not up for that. And you expect me to pay for that "vacation"? Ha!

Wow. I"m so glad I have such fond memories of my grandparents, who did "babysit" us for weeks at a time. They actually liked to spend time with us. They didn't view it as "babysitting" but as spending time with their grandparents. And, they still traveled on their own to have their free time.

And, there is a medium between one night all "all week", as you are well aware. But, that would entail a discussion as to what your expectations are with your kids. Sounds rather difficult for you if you're that testy about a week with your grandchildren. You're a sad person.

I'm not sure why you assume that everyone grew up just like you or has those types of memories. My own grandparents never watched me ONCE overnight. My own kids have a good relationship with their grandparents but their grandparents didn't watch them while dh and I went on vacation and only rarely did one of the grandparents watch our kids overnight. The joy of being a grandparent is that when the grandkids act up you can hand them right back to their parents. Or at least that's the way dh and I have always done things.