My parents don't want to vacation with us

[Anonymous]

"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Hahahahahaha. I love the people on here who are complaining about driving to their Inlaws and would rather take a plane. Flying out to the west coast is Horrible. Direct flights out of national are few and mostly red-eye. You're usually stuck connecting via JFK or Newark. Even worse, you might connect via Chicago. The last two times we flew out to see my husband's west coast family our flights were cancelled. United Airlines in particular were the worst. They tried to fly us to Newark (by NYC in New Jersey) and get us to drive 5 hours in a one way rental car at 4am on our own dime. No I would not recommend flying to the West Coast, especially in the winter under any circumstances. Plus OP's parents are rich- and they onlY pay for two tickets, not four.

I think you should give up on your idea of spending quality time with your parents. Boomer grandparents are the most selfish grandparents in recent history. They will focus on their needs always.


You know there are direct flights from Dulles, right? And BWI FWIW.


I apologize- I always forget that most of the people who post here live in the far-flung suburbs.

For those of us who live in DC, let me tell you that driving for an hour (the time it takes for Bwi or Dulles) after an exhausting cross-country flight with two exhausted children is way, way worse than the root canal I had later in the week. You people disgust me."

And it is better to do layovers that are likely to be delayed or cancelled? You are odd pp.

[Anonymous]

No it's best to stay home. That was the point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have kids that are up all night, bored and don't seem to have a bedtime that would do me in. They might be precious, funny, intelligent..but if they are constantly underfoot, no down time. Ugh. That would get old.

You treating me as the hired help -babysitter, cook, housekeeper and rarely if ever pitching in yourself would get old in a hurry. This is my vacation, too.

Doesn't mean I don't love them. Just means that a long weekend in our own hotel rooms, where we could all keep to our own schedules and spend quality time (as opposed to ALL of our time) together would be so much more relaxing..

I'm going to definitely use all of these excuses when my parents and Inlaws need help when they get older. I mean hospitals aren't relaxing at all! Sorry! Guess you better die alone old lady. Glad you had fun on your vacations instead of coming out to see your grandchildren. But see, they don't care about you so when you're sick and need help- you'll be on your own. Bye!

+1 !

Do you seriously intend to provide heavy duty eldercare for your parents in exchange for their occasional babysitting? Or are you talking about sitting by their hospital bed while a nursing staff tends to them? No one is saying that they do not love their family or that they don't want to spend time with their family. You do realize that if your parent is hospitalized you do have the option of getting a hotel room nearby and going back to your room to change/get a shower and sleep.

So the idea of hotel rooms on vacation isn't exactly that different. Spend time together during the day and go back to your own rooms to recharge.

As someone who lived in a hospital room for days on end, eating horrible cafeteria food and sleeping in a chair next to my loved one's bed, I'm curious what your family had to say about your hospital visits. Either way, I won't be providing that level of care again to selfish grandparents.

You didn't shower? You didn't leave the room to eat? You didn't go home or back to a hotel to change clothes?

I showered in the public showers they keep for guests. I changed clothes with those I had with me in a bag. I ate horrible cafeteria food from the hospital while my loved one slept. I did not leave the hospital until they were discharged. Some people actually care about those that they love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No it's best to stay home. That was the point.

Better for who?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hahahahahaha. I love the people on here who are complaining about driving to their Inlaws and would rather take a plane. Flying out to the west coast is Horrible. Direct flights out of national are few and mostly red-eye. You're usually stuck connecting via JFK or Newark. Even worse, you might connect via Chicago. The last two times we flew out to see my husband's west coast family our flights were cancelled. United Airlines in particular were the worst. They tried to fly us to Newark (by NYC in New Jersey) and get us to drive 5 hours in a one way rental car at 4am on our own dime. No I would not recommend flying to the West Coast, especially in the winter under any circumstances. Plus OP's parents are rich- and they onlY pay for two tickets, not four.

I think you should give up on your idea of spending quality time with your parents. Boomer grandparents are the most selfish grandparents in recent history. They will focus on their needs always.

You know there are direct flights from Dulles, right? And BWI FWIW.

I apologize- I always forget that most of the people who post here live in the far-flung suburbs.

For those of us who live in DC, let me tell you that driving for an hour (the time it takes for Bwi or Dulles) after an exhausting cross-country flight with two exhausted children is way, way worse than the root canal I had later in the week. You people disgust me.

I am the PP you are responding to. I also live in DC ... And fly to the West Coast with my two young children regularly. I will absolutely grant you that it is not fun but you are seriously overstating the burden flying out of Dulles over Reagan presents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have kids that are up all night, bored and don't seem to have a bedtime that would do me in. They might be precious, funny, intelligent..but if they are constantly underfoot, no down time. Ugh. That would get old.

You treating me as the hired help -babysitter, cook, housekeeper and rarely if ever pitching in yourself would get old in a hurry. This is my vacation, too.

Doesn't mean I don't love them. Just means that a long weekend in our own hotel rooms, where we could all keep to our own schedules and spend quality time (as opposed to ALL of our time) together would be so much more relaxing..

I'm going to definitely use all of these excuses when my parents and Inlaws need help when they get older. I mean hospitals aren't relaxing at all! Sorry! Guess you better die alone old lady. Glad you had fun on your vacations instead of coming out to see your grandchildren. But see, they don't care about you so when you're sick and need help- you'll be on your own. Bye!

Oh please. Your parents raised YOU. They do not owe you grandchild babysitting too.

And I don't owe them any assistance when they are older.

You do whatever you think is right. This seems like a valuable example/lesson for YOUR kids as well - that you are only worth what you do for your children's children, and not at all the effort you put into raising them ...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The Op isn't making anyone do childcare. Her in-laws aren't expecting the Op to take over their self care for them. The Op simply doesn't want to spend her family vacation time waiting on visiting in-laws who don't want to go anywhere.

These folks are not invalids in a hospital. I'm not sure why this thread has taken this turn.

OP is not using up vacation time to host her parents (I think it's her parents, not her in-laws btw). She just wants them to go on vacation with her because she doesn't enjoy hosting them. Which is fair but there are are a number of good solutions - highlighted by many on this thread - between hosting difficult houseguests, and forcing them to rent a beach house on the Jersey shore with her for a week ...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No it's best to stay home. That was the point.

Okay, but the title of the thread is "My parents don't want to vacation with us," so clearly even OP doesn't prefer that option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No it's best to stay home. That was the point.

Okay, but the title of the thread is "My parents don't want to vacation with us," so clearly even OP doesn't prefer that option.

They can vacation with the OP near her house. Not sure what your point is?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Op isn't making anyone do childcare. Her in-laws aren't expecting the Op to take over their self care for them. The Op simply doesn't want to spend her family vacation time waiting on visiting in-laws who don't want to go anywhere.

These folks are not invalids in a hospital. I'm not sure why this thread has taken this turn.

OP is not using up vacation time to host her parents (I think it's her parents, not her in-laws btw). She just wants them to go on vacation with her because she doesn't enjoy hosting them. Which is fair but there are are a number of good solutions - highlighted by many on this thread - between hosting difficult houseguests, and forcing them to rent a beach house on the Jersey shore with her for a week ...

Yes. I got confused. They are Op's parents. Op's husband works long hours and is not around much when Op's parents visit. When they do visit they want to stay inside the house for 5 days straight while Op cares for her young kids, does house cleaning, cooking, etc. Op and her husband do take an annual family vacay with their kids to the beach.

I can understand why Op wouldn't want to be housebound during a 5 day visit especially since the grandparents don't really do anything with the kids, they just want to be waited on. Why would Op want to bring them along on her annual beach vacation and the only time that her husband has off? That doesn't make much sense..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No it's best to stay home. That was the point.

Okay, but the title of the thread is "My parents don't want to vacation with us," so clearly even OP doesn't prefer that option.

They can vacation with the OP near her house. Not sure what your point is?

That OP wants to go on vacation. With her kids and her parents. So staying home is not the solution she is looking for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No it's best to stay home. That was the point.

Okay, but the title of the thread is "My parents don't want to vacation with us," so clearly even OP doesn't prefer that option.

They can vacation with the OP near her house. Not sure what your point is?

That OP wants to go on vacation. With her kids and her parents. So staying home is not the solution she is looking for.

I think you're confused because I said she should stay home. I meant to say "stay CLOSE to home."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hahahahahaha. I love the people on here who are complaining about driving to their Inlaws and would rather take a plane. Flying out to the west coast is Horrible. Direct flights out of national are few and mostly red-eye. You're usually stuck connecting via JFK or Newark. Even worse, you might connect via Chicago. The last two times we flew out to see my husband's west coast family our flights were cancelled. United Airlines in particular were the worst. They tried to fly us to Newark (by NYC in New Jersey) and get us to drive 5 hours in a one way rental car at 4am on our own dime. No I would not recommend flying to the West Coast, especially in the winter under any circumstances. Plus OP's parents are rich- and they onlY pay for two tickets, not four.

I think you should give up on your idea of spending quality time with your parents. Boomer grandparents are the most selfish grandparents in recent history. They will focus on their needs always.

You know there are direct flights from Dulles, right? And BWI FWIW.

I apologize- I always forget that most of the people who post here live in the far-flung suburbs.

For those of us who live in DC, let me tell you that driving for an hour (the time it takes for Bwi or Dulles) after an exhausting cross-country flight with two exhausted children is way, way worse than the root canal I had later in the week. You people disgust me.

I am the PP you are responding to. I also live in DC ... And fly to the West Coast with my two young children regularly. I will absolutely grant you that it is not fun but you are seriously overstating the burden flying out of Dulles over Reagan presents.

I am really not. But you're welcome to use Dulles if that works for you.

[Anonymous]

I think they have spent decades watching kids, so they now have their life back. Grandkids are not their priorities. Don't have them spend their time doing something they don't like. If you must travel together, don't expect them to watch the kids like some do. They don't want to do anything except to travel with adults their age and talk about stuff that interests them and have someone drive them around like a tour bus. They are enjoying life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hahahahahaha. I love the people on here who are complaining about driving to their Inlaws and would rather take a plane. Flying out to the west coast is Horrible. Direct flights out of national are few and mostly red-eye. You're usually stuck connecting via JFK or Newark. Even worse, you might connect via Chicago. The last two times we flew out to see my husband's west coast family our flights were cancelled. United Airlines in particular were the worst. They tried to fly us to Newark (by NYC in New Jersey) and get us to drive 5 hours in a one way rental car at 4am on our own dime. No I would not recommend flying to the West Coast, especially in the winter under any circumstances. Plus OP's parents are rich- and they onlY pay for two tickets, not four.

I think you should give up on your idea of spending quality time with your parents. Boomer grandparents are the most selfish grandparents in recent history. They will focus on their needs always.

You know there are direct flights from Dulles, right? And BWI FWIW.

I apologize- I always forget that most of the people who post here live in the far-flung suburbs.

For those of us who live in DC, let me tell you that driving for an hour (the time it takes for Bwi or Dulles) after an exhausting cross-country flight with two exhausted children is way, way worse than the root canal I had later in the week. You people disgust me.

I am the PP you are responding to. I also live in DC ... And fly to the West Coast with my two young children regularly. I will absolutely grant you that it is not fun but you are seriously overstating the burden flying out of Dulles over Reagan presents.

I am really not. But you're welcome to use Dulles if that works for you.

I agree, Dulles is the third circle of hell unless you live on the Western border of DC. BWI isn't quite as bad (for me in NE 5 min from 295) because you can take 2 different routes to get there.