My parents don't want to vacation with us

[Anonymous]

OP, you can't make your parents vacation with you. You can tell them they need to stay at a hotel when they visit you, and you can plan meals and activities outside the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think they have spent decades watching kids, so they now have their life back. Grandkids are not their priorities. Don't have them spend their time doing something they don't like. If you must travel together, don't expect them to watch the kids like some do. They don't want to do anything except to travel with adults their age and talk about stuff that interests them and have someone drive them around like a tour bus. They are enjoying life.

I honestly don't give a shit about almost anything that my inlaws say, but if I ignore them because I'm "enjoying life" I would be crucified on this website. Why the double standard?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think they have spent decades watching kids, so they now have their life back. Grandkids are not their priorities. Don't have them spend their time doing something they don't like. If you must travel together, don't expect them to watch the kids like some do. They don't want to do anything except to travel with adults their age and talk about stuff that interests them and have someone drive them around like a tour bus. They are enjoying life.

I honestly don't give a shit about almost anything that my inlaws say, but if I ignore them because I'm "enjoying life" I would be crucified on this website. Why the double standard?

Do you feel the same way about your parents because OP is talking about her own parents.

[Anonymous]

The difference is that the elders have spent decades sacrificing for their offspring. OP will not let her parents off the hook. She expects her parents to still want whatever she feels is a priority. It's actually very selfish. Sure she means well and wants to spend time with her parents, but they are old and tired. They want to be catered to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The difference is that the elders have spent decades sacrificing for their offspring. OP will not let her parents off the hook. She expects her parents to still want whatever she feels is a priority. It's actually very selfish. Sure she means well and wants to spend time with her parents, but they are old and tired. They want to be catered to.

Yep, OP should not expect it. By now, she should have given up the hope of it, as they seem rather hopeless. But it does seem bizarre that her parents don't care to spend time with the grandkids. That is your legacy. The only part of you that still exists on this earth when you're dead are your children/grandchildren; for most people anyway these are the only people who will even think about you every once in a while once you are long gone (unless you happened to be one of the few that made a real impact on the world while you were here). Sad that they are so short sighted.

The other thing is that kids - when they are small - are REALLY into their grandparents, usually. Maybe the OP's parents will want more family time when they are 10 years older, but by that time, the grandkids won't care. Seriously - they'll be busy with their friends.

[Anonymous]

As mentioned before, Boomers are just too selfish to care about anyone else. Sorry OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The difference is that the elders have spent decades sacrificing for their offspring. OP will not let her parents off the hook. She expects her parents to still want whatever she feels is a priority. It's actually very selfish. Sure she means well and wants to spend time with her parents, but they are old and tired. They want to be catered to.

Or she is like me and tired of the parental hypocrisy. They talk about how important family is, but their ACTIONS do not support their rhetoric.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hahahahahaha. I love the people on here who are complaining about driving to their Inlaws and would rather take a plane. Flying out to the west coast is Horrible. Direct flights out of national are few and mostly red-eye. You're usually stuck connecting via JFK or Newark. Even worse, you might connect via Chicago. The last two times we flew out to see my husband's west coast family our flights were cancelled. United Airlines in particular were the worst. They tried to fly us to Newark (by NYC in New Jersey) and get us to drive 5 hours in a one way rental car at 4am on our own dime. No I would not recommend flying to the West Coast, especially in the winter under any circumstances. Plus OP's parents are rich- and they onlY pay for two tickets, not four.

I think you should give up on your idea of spending quality time with your parents. Boomer grandparents are the most selfish grandparents in recent history. They will focus on their needs always.

You know there are direct flights from Dulles, right? And BWI FWIW.

I apologize- I always forget that most of the people who post here live in the far-flung suburbs.

For those of us who live in DC, let me tell you that driving for an hour (the time it takes for Bwi or Dulles) after an exhausting cross-country flight with two exhausted children is way, way worse than the root canal I had later in the week. You people disgust me.

I am the PP you are responding to. I also live in DC ... And fly to the West Coast with my two young children regularly. I will absolutely grant you that it is not fun but you are seriously overstating the burden flying out of Dulles over Reagan presents.

There are more direct flights out of Reagan to LA (not sure about SF) than there used to be. AA and Alaska both fly direct. But as others have said, get a grip about going to Dulles. I live in DC and do it with my two children (by myself; DH almost never comes) on a regular basis. Kids are now 11 and 8, and I've been making this trip several times a years since they were infants. It is far better to drive to Dulles for a non-stop flight than to take a connecting flight. I avoid connecting flights whenever I can.

[Anonymous]

JetBlue flies from National direct to Long Beach. I've found that's the easiest way to do west coast travel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:JetBlue flies from National direct to Long Beach. I've found that's the easiest way to do west coast travel.

I think that direct flight is no longer offered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hahahahahaha. I love the people on here who are complaining about driving to their Inlaws and would rather take a plane. Flying out to the west coast is Horrible. Direct flights out of national are few and mostly red-eye. You're usually stuck connecting via JFK or Newark. Even worse, you might connect via Chicago. The last two times we flew out to see my husband's west coast family our flights were cancelled. United Airlines in particular were the worst. They tried to fly us to Newark (by NYC in New Jersey) and get us to drive 5 hours in a one way rental car at 4am on our own dime. No I would not recommend flying to the West Coast, especially in the winter under any circumstances. Plus OP's parents are rich- and they onlY pay for two tickets, not four.

I think you should give up on your idea of spending quality time with your parents. Boomer grandparents are the most selfish grandparents in recent history. They will focus on their needs always.

You know there are direct flights from Dulles, right? And BWI FWIW.

I apologize- I always forget that most of the people who post here live in the far-flung suburbs.

For those of us who live in DC, let me tell you that driving for an hour (the time it takes for Bwi or Dulles) after an exhausting cross-country flight with two exhausted children is way, way worse than the root canal I had later in the week. You people disgust me.

I am the PP you are responding to. I also live in DC ... And fly to the West Coast with my two young children regularly. I will absolutely grant you that it is not fun but you are seriously overstating the burden flying out of Dulles over Reagan presents.

There are more direct flights out of Reagan to LA (not sure about SF) than there used to be. AA and Alaska both fly direct. But as others have said, get a grip about going to Dulles. I live in DC and do it with my two children (by myself; DH almost never comes) on a regular basis. Kids are now 11 and 8, and I've been making this trip several times a years since they were infants. It is far better to drive to Dulles for a non-stop flight than to take a connecting flight. I avoid connecting flights whenever I can.

I am glad that it works out for you and your 11 and 8 year old. Dulles is a nightmare with a baby and a 2 year old, multiple car seats, suitcases, and a stroller. It's physically a huge airport and takes a long time to get around. It depends on the length of the layover but I'd prefer a short layover than Dulles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: But it does seem bizarre that her parents don't care to spend time with the grandkids. That is your legacy. The only part of you that still exists on this earth when you're dead are your children/grandchildren; for most people anyway these are the only people who will even think about you every once in a while once you are long gone (unless you happened to be one of the few that made a real impact on the world while you were here). Sad that they are so short sighted.

This seems like a bizarre and selfish reason to spend time with grandchildren.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: But it does seem bizarre that her parents don't care to spend time with the grandkids. That is your legacy. The only part of you that still exists on this earth when you're dead are your children/grandchildren; for most people anyway these are the only people who will even think about you every once in a while once you are long gone (unless you happened to be one of the few that made a real impact on the world while you were here). Sad that they are so short sighted.

This seems like a bizarre and selfish reason to spend time with grandchildren.

Not really. Grandchildren are your living legacy and through them your memories will live on. You either value that and do something with it while you can or you take it for granted and wait until it is too late. You don't have to go on a Caribbean cruise to do things with them. But a long weekend in the city? Sure, why not. That could be a lot of fun.

[Anonymous]

And if you can't go out somewhere - bake cookies, play card games, share a photo album, watch a game together. It does not have to be elaborate or $$.

[Anonymous]

One thing that dealing with my family has taught me: You get out of your family what you put in. Of course no one can make OPs parents be more "into" their kids and grandkids, but this sadly will mean less meaningful relationships with them. Some of my family understands this and others do not.