MIL just screamed at me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ILs and husband both end up taking twice as long to cook meals as they plan to - and the kids are a bawling tired mess by the time we eat. When I first saw this dynamic, I tried to intervene to resolve it, but what cook wants to be rushed and what kid wants to miss out on a special holiday meal with extended family?

Now I sit back and let it happen. I offer to help once. If I'm declined, then I give the kids milk when they should be eating, but I don't make it my job to entertain an overtired, hungry set of kids, nor do I make it my job to micromanage a bunch of adults who know what the consequences of their actions will be. They know what they're doing - so I let them, and let them deal with the consequences.

It's really stressful for everyone else, but it's a mess of their own making and it's only manageable for me if I just throw up my hands and accept that I don't control these people.

You're punishing your kids because your ILs and husband have poor time-management skills in the kitchen. It absolutely IS your responsibility to entertain/care for/FEED your kids at all times, especially in your in-laws' home. What kind of mother knowingly lets her kids be miserable to make a point?

Oh please! They will live.

Yeah, sure they will survive. But I don't simply wish to survive. I would like to have FUN, too. Dealing with hungry, cranky, overly tired meltdowns is no fun - so I will avoid those .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I bet you're a real peach, too.

Sorry. On MIl side on this one. You sound like one of those annoying new Moms who thinks the world revolves around you and your kids nap time and nothing else matters. Sorry, but that's annoying to all rational people. Signed -Mother of two.

All the bitter moms with only boys are in full force on this thread. Sorry, ladies, but your future DIL WILL run the show, no matter how pissy and passive aggressive you are.

This mom of a boy thinks my kids nap schedule is my business and everyone else can shut the hell up. In my experience the same people who bitch about people who are "nap nazis" also bitch about kids who act up when they are overtired. You can't win.

Hopefully I will be supportive of my future DIL in ways my mil wasn't.

Mom of 2 boys here. I used to be a nap Nazi when I had only 1 child. That went out the window when 2nd was born. 2nd was dragged anywhere and everywhere. If we were tied to his nap schedule, we would never get out of the house. DS2 fell asleep in the car, stroller, baby carrier. He was fine.

Our family would visit us in those early years. We had too much gear to travel out of state for holidays.

And let me just guess. You describe your overtired, cranky 2nd boy's out-of-control behavior as "spirited"? Yep. Thought so.

Not sure why the nasty tone.

My kids are now 4 and 6. They don't nap and are generally well behaved. We are very social and hang out with friends multiple times per week.

When the younger one was a baby, we dragged him to play dates and outings. He would easily fall asleep in the car or stroller. When the younger one was a toddler, he was awesome. Then he turned 2 and was a bit of a disaster. He was a handful with or without naps. I did not make excuses. He started daycare at 2 and would nap there. On weekends, he often would not nap or fall asleep in the car.

Age 2 was both with both kids. That was probably my least favorite year. My boys are a delight now. We get to travel and very few tantrums.

You don't get to use the term "nap Nazi" and then act all confused why someone would take a "nasty tone." Those of us who keep nap time sacred are not rigid/ridiculous/"Nazis"--we simply place primacy on our children's *need* for sleep. It's really not a big deal. It's not forever. It takes some simple planning, and too bad if sometimes we don't make a playdate or go the extra-extra mile to accommodate Grandma's wishes.

And it's always the same people who say "wow, you're such a slave to your nap schedule" who then say, "you're so lucky to have an easy, well-behaved child." Gee, you think maybe a rested child is a well-behaved, easy child? Yeah, maybe!

PP here. You need to chill out. I said I used to be a nap Nazi when I had one child. My kids are well behaved so I don't know who you are talking to. Maybe you think that I am the same person as others posting. The world does not revolve around your precious snowflake's nap. Like I said, my kids are now 4 and 6 and no longer nap. I thought it would be impossible to travel to Europe because of the long flight and waking up at 2am our time. Guess what? Kids survived. Now I am making plans to fly to Asia.

I will forgive your bad attitude since you are in the middle of toddler drudgery. I didn't particular enjoy those days of being tired and picking up goldfish off the floor. Thankfully DH earns a 7 figure income and we could throw money at the household chores.

If I were OP, I would just not have gone if we had already seen the IL's the day before. I am quite reasonable. DH sticks up for me. DH also enjoys family time alone at our house.

Can't wait until he and his 7-figure salary leave you for a younger, much prettier, much more pleasant model. BTW, he already cheats on you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I bet you're a real peach, too.

Sorry. On MIl side on this one. You sound like one of those annoying new Moms who thinks the world revolves around you and your kids nap time and nothing else matters. Sorry, but that's annoying to all rational people. Signed -Mother of two.

All the bitter moms with only boys are in full force on this thread. Sorry, ladies, but your future DIL WILL run the show, no matter how pissy and passive aggressive you are.

This mom of a boy thinks my kids nap schedule is my business and everyone else can shut the hell up. In my experience the same people who bitch about people who are "nap nazis" also bitch about kids who act up when they are overtired. You can't win.

Hopefully I will be supportive of my future DIL in ways my mil wasn't.

Mom of 2 boys here. I used to be a nap Nazi when I had only 1 child. That went out the window when 2nd was born. 2nd was dragged anywhere and everywhere. If we were tied to his nap schedule, we would never get out of the house. DS2 fell asleep in the car, stroller, baby carrier. He was fine.

Our family would visit us in those early years. We had too much gear to travel out of state for holidays.

And let me just guess. You describe your overtired, cranky 2nd boy's out-of-control behavior as "spirited"? Yep. Thought so.

Not sure why the nasty tone.

My kids are now 4 and 6. They don't nap and are generally well behaved. We are very social and hang out with friends multiple times per week.

When the younger one was a baby, we dragged him to play dates and outings. He would easily fall asleep in the car or stroller. When the younger one was a toddler, he was awesome. Then he turned 2 and was a bit of a disaster. He was a handful with or without naps. I did not make excuses. He started daycare at 2 and would nap there. On weekends, he often would not nap or fall asleep in the car.

Age 2 was both with both kids. That was probably my least favorite year. My boys are a delight now. We get to travel and very few tantrums.

You don't get to use the term "nap Nazi" and then act all confused why someone would take a "nasty tone." Those of us who keep nap time sacred are not rigid/ridiculous/"Nazis"--we simply place primacy on our children's *need* for sleep. It's really not a big deal. It's not forever. It takes some simple planning, and too bad if sometimes we don't make a playdate or go the extra-extra mile to accommodate Grandma's wishes.

And it's always the same people who say "wow, you're such a slave to your nap schedule" who then say, "you're so lucky to have an easy, well-behaved child." Gee, you think maybe a rested child is a well-behaved, easy child? Yeah, maybe!

PP here. You need to chill out. I said I used to be a nap Nazi when I had one child. My kids are well behaved so I don't know who you are talking to. Maybe you think that I am the same person as others posting. The world does not revolve around your precious snowflake's nap. Like I said, my kids are now 4 and 6 and no longer nap. I thought it would be impossible to travel to Europe because of the long flight and waking up at 2am our time. Guess what? Kids survived. Now I am making plans to fly to Asia.

I will forgive your bad attitude since you are in the middle of toddler drudgery. I didn't particular enjoy those days of being tired and picking up goldfish off the floor. Thankfully DH earns a 7 figure income and we could throw money at the household chores.

If I were OP, I would just not have gone if we had already seen the IL's the day before. I am quite reasonable. DH sticks up for me. DH also enjoys family time alone at our house.

Can't wait until he and his 7-figure salary leave you for a younger, much prettier, much more pleasant model. BTW, he already cheats on you.

You sound like a peach. I think it's your child's nap time.

Not sure why you think my DH is any more likely to cheat on me than yours. Yes, my DH is smart and successful. He is also the most stand up and loyal guy that I know. That is why I married him and why he is so successful. People still appreciate trustworthy people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I bet you're a real peach, too.

Sorry. On MIl side on this one. You sound like one of those annoying new Moms who thinks the world revolves around you and your kids nap time and nothing else matters. Sorry, but that's annoying to all rational people. Signed -Mother of two.

All the bitter moms with only boys are in full force on this thread. Sorry, ladies, but your future DIL WILL run the show, no matter how pissy and passive aggressive you are.

This mom of a boy thinks my kids nap schedule is my business and everyone else can shut the hell up. In my experience the same people who bitch about people who are "nap nazis" also bitch about kids who act up when they are overtired. You can't win.

Hopefully I will be supportive of my future DIL in ways my mil wasn't.

Mom of 2 boys here. I used to be a nap Nazi when I had only 1 child. That went out the window when 2nd was born. 2nd was dragged anywhere and everywhere. If we were tied to his nap schedule, we would never get out of the house. DS2 fell asleep in the car, stroller, baby carrier. He was fine.

Our family would visit us in those early years. We had too much gear to travel out of state for holidays.

And let me just guess. You describe your overtired, cranky 2nd boy's out-of-control behavior as "spirited"? Yep. Thought so.

Not sure why the nasty tone.

My kids are now 4 and 6. They don't nap and are generally well behaved. We are very social and hang out with friends multiple times per week.

When the younger one was a baby, we dragged him to play dates and outings. He would easily fall asleep in the car or stroller. When the younger one was a toddler, he was awesome. Then he turned 2 and was a bit of a disaster. He was a handful with or without naps. I did not make excuses. He started daycare at 2 and would nap there. On weekends, he often would not nap or fall asleep in the car.

Age 2 was both with both kids. That was probably my least favorite year. My boys are a delight now. We get to travel and very few tantrums.

You don't get to use the term "nap Nazi" and then act all confused why someone would take a "nasty tone." Those of us who keep nap time sacred are not rigid/ridiculous/"Nazis"--we simply place primacy on our children's *need* for sleep. It's really not a big deal. It's not forever. It takes some simple planning, and too bad if sometimes we don't make a playdate or go the extra-extra mile to accommodate Grandma's wishes.

And it's always the same people who say "wow, you're such a slave to your nap schedule" who then say, "you're so lucky to have an easy, well-behaved child." Gee, you think maybe a rested child is a well-behaved, easy child? Yeah, maybe!

PP here. You need to chill out. I said I used to be a nap Nazi when I had one child. My kids are well behaved so I don't know who you are talking to. Maybe you think that I am the same person as others posting. The world does not revolve around your precious snowflake's nap. Like I said, my kids are now 4 and 6 and no longer nap. I thought it would be impossible to travel to Europe because of the long flight and waking up at 2am our time. Guess what? Kids survived. Now I am making plans to fly to Asia.

I will forgive your bad attitude since you are in the middle of toddler drudgery. I didn't particular enjoy those days of being tired and picking up goldfish off the floor. Thankfully DH earns a 7 figure income and we could throw money at the household chores.

If I were OP, I would just not have gone if we had already seen the IL's the day before. I am quite reasonable. DH sticks up for me. DH also enjoys family time alone at our house.

Can't wait until he and his 7-figure salary leave you for a younger, much prettier, much more pleasant model. BTW, he already cheats on you.

You sound like a peach. I think it's your child's nap time.

Not sure why you think my DH is any more likely to cheat on me than yours. Yes, my DH is smart and successful. He is also the most stand up and loyal guy that I know. That is why I married him and why he is so successful. People still appreciate trustworthy people.

You hire your housework done and I'm guessing that you get breaks from heavy duty childcare. Realize that some people do not get that kind of help so throwing their schedule into complete chaos does not work so well for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ILs and husband both end up taking twice as long to cook meals as they plan to - and the kids are a bawling tired mess by the time we eat. When I first saw this dynamic, I tried to intervene to resolve it, but what cook wants to be rushed and what kid wants to miss out on a special holiday meal with extended family?

Now I sit back and let it happen. I offer to help once. If I'm declined, then I give the kids milk when they should be eating, but I don't make it my job to entertain an overtired, hungry set of kids, nor do I make it my job to micromanage a bunch of adults who know what the consequences of their actions will be. They know what they're doing - so I let them, and let them deal with the consequences.

It's really stressful for everyone else, but it's a mess of their own making and it's only manageable for me if I just throw up my hands and accept that I don't control these people.

You're punishing your kids because your ILs and husband have poor time-management skills in the kitchen. It absolutely IS your responsibility to entertain/care for/FEED your kids at all times, especially in your in-laws' home. What kind of mother knowingly lets her kids be miserable to make a point?

Oh please! They will live.

Yeah, sure they will survive. But I don't simply wish to survive. I would like to have FUN, too. Dealing with hungry, cranky, overly tired meltdowns is no fun - so I will avoid those .

AMEN! I would never put my children in a position where they would be tired/cranky/hungry/unhappy just to stick it to my ILs/husband and make a point about how they should be planning for/preparing meals. Talk about misguided priorities!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I bet you're a real peach, too.

Sorry. On MIl side on this one. You sound like one of those annoying new Moms who thinks the world revolves around you and your kids nap time and nothing else matters. Sorry, but that's annoying to all rational people. Signed -Mother of two.

All the bitter moms with only boys are in full force on this thread. Sorry, ladies, but your future DIL WILL run the show, no matter how pissy and passive aggressive you are.

This mom of a boy thinks my kids nap schedule is my business and everyone else can shut the hell up. In my experience the same people who bitch about people who are "nap nazis" also bitch about kids who act up when they are overtired. You can't win.

Hopefully I will be supportive of my future DIL in ways my mil wasn't.

Mom of 2 boys here. I used to be a nap Nazi when I had only 1 child. That went out the window when 2nd was born. 2nd was dragged anywhere and everywhere. If we were tied to his nap schedule, we would never get out of the house. DS2 fell asleep in the car, stroller, baby carrier. He was fine.

Our family would visit us in those early years. We had too much gear to travel out of state for holidays.

And let me just guess. You describe your overtired, cranky 2nd boy's out-of-control behavior as "spirited"? Yep. Thought so.

Not sure why the nasty tone.

My kids are now 4 and 6. They don't nap and are generally well behaved. We are very social and hang out with friends multiple times per week.

When the younger one was a baby, we dragged him to play dates and outings. He would easily fall asleep in the car or stroller. When the younger one was a toddler, he was awesome. Then he turned 2 and was a bit of a disaster. He was a handful with or without naps. I did not make excuses. He started daycare at 2 and would nap there. On weekends, he often would not nap or fall asleep in the car.

Age 2 was both with both kids. That was probably my least favorite year. My boys are a delight now. We get to travel and very few tantrums.

You don't get to use the term "nap Nazi" and then act all confused why someone would take a "nasty tone." Those of us who keep nap time sacred are not rigid/ridiculous/"Nazis"--we simply place primacy on our children's *need* for sleep. It's really not a big deal. It's not forever. It takes some simple planning, and too bad if sometimes we don't make a playdate or go the extra-extra mile to accommodate Grandma's wishes.

And it's always the same people who say "wow, you're such a slave to your nap schedule" who then say, "you're so lucky to have an easy, well-behaved child." Gee, you think maybe a rested child is a well-behaved, easy child? Yeah, maybe!

PP here. You need to chill out. I said I used to be a nap Nazi when I had one child. My kids are well behaved so I don't know who you are talking to. Maybe you think that I am the same person as others posting. The world does not revolve around your precious snowflake's nap. Like I said, my kids are now 4 and 6 and no longer nap. I thought it would be impossible to travel to Europe because of the long flight and waking up at 2am our time. Guess what? Kids survived. Now I am making plans to fly to Asia.

I will forgive your bad attitude since you are in the middle of toddler drudgery. I didn't particular enjoy those days of being tired and picking up goldfish off the floor. Thankfully DH earns a 7 figure income and we could throw money at the household chores.

If I were OP, I would just not have gone if we had already seen the IL's the day before. I am quite reasonable. DH sticks up for me. DH also enjoys family time alone at our house.

Can't wait until he and his 7-figure salary leave you for a younger, much prettier, much more pleasant model. BTW, he already cheats on you.

You sound like a peach. I think it's your child's nap time.

Not sure why you think my DH is any more likely to cheat on me than yours. Yes, my DH is smart and successful. He is also the most stand up and loyal guy that I know. That is why I married him and why he is so successful. People still appreciate trustworthy people.

You hire your housework done and I'm guessing that you get breaks from heavy duty childcare. Realize that some people do not get that kind of help so throwing their schedule into complete chaos does not work so well for them.

PP again. I am not the one name calling here. I simply said things changed when we had two children. We would be chained to the house if I had to juggle the naps of the younger child. My boys no longer nap. You just learn to start to let things go and parenting and life get easier. I also used to be obsessed with anti-screen time and healthy food. We are just more lax about everything and everyone is happier.

Hey, my MIL drives me nuts. It isn't just about naps. Look how I am in our bedroom wasting time on DCUM on this ridiculous thread while MIL and DH are playing with the boys downstairs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I bet you're a real peach, too.

Sorry. On MIl side on this one. You sound like one of those annoying new Moms who thinks the world revolves around you and your kids nap time and nothing else matters. Sorry, but that's annoying to all rational people. Signed -Mother of two.

All the bitter moms with only boys are in full force on this thread. Sorry, ladies, but your future DIL WILL run the show, no matter how pissy and passive aggressive you are.

This mom of a boy thinks my kids nap schedule is my business and everyone else can shut the hell up. In my experience the same people who bitch about people who are "nap nazis" also bitch about kids who act up when they are overtired. You can't win.

Hopefully I will be supportive of my future DIL in ways my mil wasn't.

Mom of 2 boys here. I used to be a nap Nazi when I had only 1 child. That went out the window when 2nd was born. 2nd was dragged anywhere and everywhere. If we were tied to his nap schedule, we would never get out of the house. DS2 fell asleep in the car, stroller, baby carrier. He was fine.

Our family would visit us in those early years. We had too much gear to travel out of state for holidays.

And let me just guess. You describe your overtired, cranky 2nd boy's out-of-control behavior as "spirited"? Yep. Thought so.

Not sure why the nasty tone.

My kids are now 4 and 6. They don't nap and are generally well behaved. We are very social and hang out with friends multiple times per week.

When the younger one was a baby, we dragged him to play dates and outings. He would easily fall asleep in the car or stroller. When the younger one was a toddler, he was awesome. Then he turned 2 and was a bit of a disaster. He was a handful with or without naps. I did not make excuses. He started daycare at 2 and would nap there. On weekends, he often would not nap or fall asleep in the car.

Age 2 was both with both kids. That was probably my least favorite year. My boys are a delight now. We get to travel and very few tantrums.

You don't get to use the term "nap Nazi" and then act all confused why someone would take a "nasty tone." Those of us who keep nap time sacred are not rigid/ridiculous/"Nazis"--we simply place primacy on our children's *need* for sleep. It's really not a big deal. It's not forever. It takes some simple planning, and too bad if sometimes we don't make a playdate or go the extra-extra mile to accommodate Grandma's wishes.

And it's always the same people who say "wow, you're such a slave to your nap schedule" who then say, "you're so lucky to have an easy, well-behaved child." Gee, you think maybe a rested child is a well-behaved, easy child? Yeah, maybe!

PP here. You need to chill out. I said I used to be a nap Nazi when I had one child. My kids are well behaved so I don't know who you are talking to. Maybe you think that I am the same person as others posting. The world does not revolve around your precious snowflake's nap. Like I said, my kids are now 4 and 6 and no longer nap. I thought it would be impossible to travel to Europe because of the long flight and waking up at 2am our time. Guess what? Kids survived. Now I am making plans to fly to Asia.

I will forgive your bad attitude since you are in the middle of toddler drudgery. I didn't particular enjoy those days of being tired and picking up goldfish off the floor. Thankfully DH earns a 7 figure income and we could throw money at the household chores.

If I were OP, I would just not have gone if we had already seen the IL's the day before. I am quite reasonable. DH sticks up for me. DH also enjoys family time alone at our house.

Can't wait until he and his 7-figure salary leave you for a younger, much prettier, much more pleasant model. BTW, he already cheats on you.

You sound like a peach. I think it's your child's nap time.

Not sure why you think my DH is any more likely to cheat on me than yours. Yes, my DH is smart and successful. He is also the most stand up and loyal guy that I know. That is why I married him and why he is so successful. People still appreciate trustworthy people.

You hire your housework done and I'm guessing that you get breaks from heavy duty childcare. Realize that some people do not get that kind of help so throwing their schedule into complete chaos does not work so well for them.

PP again. I am not the one name calling here. I simply said things changed when we had two children. We would be chained to the house if I had to juggle the naps of the younger child. My boys no longer nap. You just learn to start to let things go and parenting and life get easier. I also used to be obsessed with anti-screen time and healthy food. We are just more lax about everything and everyone is happier.

Hey, my MIL drives me nuts. It isn't just about naps. Look how I am in our bedroom wasting time on DCUM on this ridiculous thread while MIL and DH are playing with the boys downstairs.

NP. You really don't get to act like you're chill and friendly when you basically told someone you felt sorry for her because she was a poor, overworked mother. What does your husband's salary have to do with anything? And--more importantly--why are you acting like his high salary is remotely your accomplishment? Gross.

[Anonymous]

It's always the "I'm not a nap Nazi" people who are instead slave to the playdate/sports grind. LOL. Like being chained to a soccer field is any better than being chained to a crib.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I bet you're a real peach, too.

Sorry. On MIl side on this one. You sound like one of those annoying new Moms who thinks the world revolves around you and your kids nap time and nothing else matters. Sorry, but that's annoying to all rational people. Signed -Mother of two.

All the bitter moms with only boys are in full force on this thread. Sorry, ladies, but your future DIL WILL run the show, no matter how pissy and passive aggressive you are.

This mom of a boy thinks my kids nap schedule is my business and everyone else can shut the hell up. In my experience the same people who bitch about people who are "nap nazis" also bitch about kids who act up when they are overtired. You can't win.

Hopefully I will be supportive of my future DIL in ways my mil wasn't.

Mom of 2 boys here. I used to be a nap Nazi when I had only 1 child. That went out the window when 2nd was born. 2nd was dragged anywhere and everywhere. If we were tied to his nap schedule, we would never get out of the house. DS2 fell asleep in the car, stroller, baby carrier. He was fine.

Our family would visit us in those early years. We had too much gear to travel out of state for holidays.

And let me just guess. You describe your overtired, cranky 2nd boy's out-of-control behavior as "spirited"? Yep. Thought so.

Not sure why the nasty tone.

My kids are now 4 and 6. They don't nap and are generally well behaved. We are very social and hang out with friends multiple times per week.

When the younger one was a baby, we dragged him to play dates and outings. He would easily fall asleep in the car or stroller. When the younger one was a toddler, he was awesome. Then he turned 2 and was a bit of a disaster. He was a handful with or without naps. I did not make excuses. He started daycare at 2 and would nap there. On weekends, he often would not nap or fall asleep in the car.

Age 2 was both with both kids. That was probably my least favorite year. My boys are a delight now. We get to travel and very few tantrums.

You don't get to use the term "nap Nazi" and then act all confused why someone would take a "nasty tone." Those of us who keep nap time sacred are not rigid/ridiculous/"Nazis"--we simply place primacy on our children's *need* for sleep. It's really not a big deal. It's not forever. It takes some simple planning, and too bad if sometimes we don't make a playdate or go the extra-extra mile to accommodate Grandma's wishes.

And it's always the same people who say "wow, you're such a slave to your nap schedule" who then say, "you're so lucky to have an easy, well-behaved child." Gee, you think maybe a rested child is a well-behaved, easy child? Yeah, maybe!

PP here. You need to chill out. I said I used to be a nap Nazi when I had one child. My kids are well behaved so I don't know who you are talking to. Maybe you think that I am the same person as others posting. The world does not revolve around your precious snowflake's nap. Like I said, my kids are now 4 and 6 and no longer nap. I thought it would be impossible to travel to Europe because of the long flight and waking up at 2am our time. Guess what? Kids survived. Now I am making plans to fly to Asia.

I will forgive your bad attitude since you are in the middle of toddler drudgery. I didn't particular enjoy those days of being tired and picking up goldfish off the floor. Thankfully DH earns a 7 figure income and we could throw money at the household chores.

If I were OP, I would just not have gone if we had already seen the IL's the day before. I am quite reasonable. DH sticks up for me. DH also enjoys family time alone at our house.

Can't wait until he and his 7-figure salary leave you for a younger, much prettier, much more pleasant model. BTW, he already cheats on you.

You sound like a peach. I think it's your child's nap time.

Not sure why you think my DH is any more likely to cheat on me than yours. Yes, my DH is smart and successful. He is also the most stand up and loyal guy that I know. That is why I married him and why he is so successful. People still appreciate trustworthy people.

You hire your housework done and I'm guessing that you get breaks from heavy duty childcare. Realize that some people do not get that kind of help so throwing their schedule into complete chaos does not work so well for them.

PP again. I am not the one name calling here. I simply said things changed when we had two children. We would be chained to the house if I had to juggle the naps of the younger child. My boys no longer nap. You just learn to start to let things go and parenting and life get easier. I also used to be obsessed with anti-screen time and healthy food. We are just more lax about everything and everyone is happier.

Hey, my MIL drives me nuts. It isn't just about naps. Look how I am in our bedroom wasting time on DCUM on this ridiculous thread while MIL and DH are playing with the boys downstairs.

I hear you. I have two sons also. The second born did nap but it was while we were on the run - in the stroller, in the car, wherever. I did still have them on a schedule with regular times for meals, active time, down time (usually reading/t.v./quiet play) and, most sacred of all - Bedtime!

So I still wanted to stick to a general schedule with them even once the 2nd born came along. And if they had gotten hungry while the host was making a meal...I simply would have quietly fed them something else. That way they were not super cranky and starving when the meal was served.

[Anonymous]

Having "easy" kids is actually work...haha.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Having "easy" kids is actually work...haha.

So true! And parents who don't have "easy" kids don't want to acknowledge any of the decisions and hard work that parents of "easy" kids have to make/do. They just want to believe it's allllllllllllllllllllll nature. I'm not saying some of it is not nature/personality, but guess what? A child who gets enough rest because his parents make naps a priority is going to be a well-rested child. And a well-rested child is going to be better-behaved, nine times out of 10.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having "easy" kids is actually work...haha.

So true! And parents who don't have "easy" kids don't want to acknowledge any of the decisions and hard work that parents of "easy" kids have to make/do. They just want to believe it's allllllllllllllllllllll nature. I'm not saying some of it is not nature/personality, but guess what? A child who gets enough rest because his parents make naps a priority is going to be a well-rested child. And a well-rested child is going to be better-behaved, nine times out of 10.

Yes, very true.

[Anonymous]

Op just needed to vent. No need to attack her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I bet you're a real peach, too.

Sorry. On MIl side on this one. You sound like one of those annoying new Moms who thinks the world revolves around you and your kids nap time and nothing else matters. Sorry, but that's annoying to all rational people. Signed -Mother of two.

All the bitter moms with only boys are in full force on this thread. Sorry, ladies, but your future DIL WILL run the show, no matter how pissy and passive aggressive you are.

This mom of a boy thinks my kids nap schedule is my business and everyone else can shut the hell up. In my experience the same people who bitch about people who are "nap nazis" also bitch about kids who act up when they are overtired. You can't win.

Hopefully I will be supportive of my future DIL in ways my mil wasn't.

Mom of 2 boys here. I used to be a nap Nazi when I had only 1 child. That went out the window when 2nd was born. 2nd was dragged anywhere and everywhere. If we were tied to his nap schedule, we would never get out of the house. DS2 fell asleep in the car, stroller, baby carrier. He was fine.

Our family would visit us in those early years. We had too much gear to travel out of state for holidays.

And let me just guess. You describe your overtired, cranky 2nd boy's out-of-control behavior as "spirited"? Yep. Thought so.

Not sure why the nasty tone.

My kids are now 4 and 6. They don't nap and are generally well behaved. We are very social and hang out with friends multiple times per week.

When the younger one was a baby, we dragged him to play dates and outings. He would easily fall asleep in the car or stroller. When the younger one was a toddler, he was awesome. Then he turned 2 and was a bit of a disaster. He was a handful with or without naps. I did not make excuses. He started daycare at 2 and would nap there. On weekends, he often would not nap or fall asleep in the car.

Age 2 was both with both kids. That was probably my least favorite year. My boys are a delight now. We get to travel and very few tantrums.

You don't get to use the term "nap Nazi" and then act all confused why someone would take a "nasty tone." Those of us who keep nap time sacred are not rigid/ridiculous/"Nazis"--we simply place primacy on our children's *need* for sleep. It's really not a big deal. It's not forever. It takes some simple planning, and too bad if sometimes we don't make a playdate or go the extra-extra mile to accommodate Grandma's wishes.

And it's always the same people who say "wow, you're such a slave to your nap schedule" who then say, "you're so lucky to have an easy, well-behaved child." Gee, you think maybe a rested child is a well-behaved, easy child? Yeah, maybe!

Nap time was sacred with my first especially. Bedtime was also sacred - for both kids. I think we managed to get naps/bedtime in w/o disrupting anyone else's holiday plans. Personally, I think it is HELPFUL for a host to know that a child is on a predictable schedule. Most seem to really appreciate that info and it's much easier to deal with than cranky chaos.

Now, if you KNOW that I put my kid down for a nap at 1:00 and you call everyone to lunch right at 1:00 - do not expect me to come to the table with my child. We'll either be on a nap drive or laying down in back bedroom. Oh, and my kid will have already eaten at 12 just like he always does. Ditto for bed time. If you know that I put my child down at 8pm please do not expect me to come with you for a light drive. But feel free to go ahead and go without me and my child (wish we could have all gone at 6:30, right after dinner though!).

Little kids thrive on a predictable routine. So do tired mommies.

Because all must bow to the throne of the mommy!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I bet you're a real peach, too.

Sorry. On MIl side on this one. You sound like one of those annoying new Moms who thinks the world revolves around you and your kids nap time and nothing else matters. Sorry, but that's annoying to all rational people. Signed -Mother of two.

All the bitter moms with only boys are in full force on this thread. Sorry, ladies, but your future DIL WILL run the show, no matter how pissy and passive aggressive you are.

This mom of a boy thinks my kids nap schedule is my business and everyone else can shut the hell up. In my experience the same people who bitch about people who are "nap nazis" also bitch about kids who act up when they are overtired. You can't win.

Hopefully I will be supportive of my future DIL in ways my mil wasn't.

Mom of 2 boys here. I used to be a nap Nazi when I had only 1 child. That went out the window when 2nd was born. 2nd was dragged anywhere and everywhere. If we were tied to his nap schedule, we would never get out of the house. DS2 fell asleep in the car, stroller, baby carrier. He was fine.

Our family would visit us in those early years. We had too much gear to travel out of state for holidays.

And let me just guess. You describe your overtired, cranky 2nd boy's out-of-control behavior as "spirited"? Yep. Thought so.

Not sure why the nasty tone.

My kids are now 4 and 6. They don't nap and are generally well behaved. We are very social and hang out with friends multiple times per week.

When the younger one was a baby, we dragged him to play dates and outings. He would easily fall asleep in the car or stroller. When the younger one was a toddler, he was awesome. Then he turned 2 and was a bit of a disaster. He was a handful with or without naps. I did not make excuses. He started daycare at 2 and would nap there. On weekends, he often would not nap or fall asleep in the car.

Age 2 was both with both kids. That was probably my least favorite year. My boys are a delight now. We get to travel and very few tantrums.

You don't get to use the term "nap Nazi" and then act all confused why someone would take a "nasty tone." Those of us who keep nap time sacred are not rigid/ridiculous/"Nazis"--we simply place primacy on our children's *need* for sleep. It's really not a big deal. It's not forever. It takes some simple planning, and too bad if sometimes we don't make a playdate or go the extra-extra mile to accommodate Grandma's wishes.

And it's always the same people who say "wow, you're such a slave to your nap schedule" who then say, "you're so lucky to have an easy, well-behaved child." Gee, you think maybe a rested child is a well-behaved, easy child? Yeah, maybe!

PP here. You need to chill out. I said I used to be a nap Nazi when I had one child. My kids are well behaved so I don't know who you are talking to. Maybe you think that I am the same person as others posting. The world does not revolve around your precious snowflake's nap. Like I said, my kids are now 4 and 6 and no longer nap. I thought it would be impossible to travel to Europe because of the long flight and waking up at 2am our time. Guess what? Kids survived. Now I am making plans to fly to Asia.

I will forgive your bad attitude since you are in the middle of toddler drudgery. I didn't particular enjoy those days of being tired and picking up goldfish off the floor. Thankfully DH earns a 7 figure income and we could throw money at the household chores.

If I were OP, I would just not have gone if we had already seen the IL's the day before. I am quite reasonable. DH sticks up for me. DH also enjoys family time alone at our house.

Can't wait until he and his 7-figure salary leave you for a younger, much prettier, much more pleasant model. BTW, he already cheats on you.

NP here. You should be ashamed of yourself. How can you look in the mirror? How can you think you can teach your children morals and decency when you say something like that to another mother?