MIL just screamed at me

[Anonymous]

I need to vent. DD has been clearly exhausted today and we were just at in-laws. I said five times that we had to go because she needed to get home for her nap. DH said it once. I said we had to take dessert home instead of eating there. She screamed at me in front of DH and DD "It will take five minutes" in a nasty shrill voice. How do I deal with this woman. Arghh. Last time she screamed at me DH swore he would defend me next time but he didn't today.

[Anonymous]

I bet you're a real peach, too.

[Anonymous]

I am sorry. Next time, I would say we are leaving once and leave, dessert or no dessert. MIL doesn't get to dictate your schedule.

[Anonymous]

Just leave when it happens immediately. No new for you or DH to say anything. Just get up and go with the kids.

[Anonymous]

If it meant waiting for 5 mins or even 15 mins, you should have just gone along with it.

[Anonymous]

She went through the trouble of making a special dessert for everyone to enjoy and you were in a hurry to just get out of there.

She was annoyed with you for rushing to leave before dessert was served. You were annoyed with her for making dessert such a BIG DEAL - you couldn't enjoy it anyway with dd acting so cranky.

I actually can see both of your points of view. I would just really let this go...

[Anonymous]

Ugh, I hate it when people use dessert as a way to hold people hostage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it meant waiting for 5 mins or even 15 mins, you should have just gone along with it.

I agree with this. The few minutes clearly are important to your MIL and won't matter much in the long run with the nap. Your DH probably felt you were being unreasonable. Next time either plan for an earlier event, don't go or take a separate car so you can leave. When my SN son was small he had huge meltdowns under certain conditions so I can appreciate your position but you have to advance plan so you don't offend others.

[Anonymous]

Op, let's see. At least she is not being passive aggressive. You spoke out, she spoke up! I think it is very functional family and no need to blame DH here. You both were being just human.

Clear your mind, L. I. G.

[Anonymous]

You put the toddler to nap on grandma's bed and sit and have the dessert.

No way did I let my toddler hold me hostage on holidays. And it's only lunchtime -- did you see these people yesterday or on Christmas eve? If not, you bugging out around noon is rude. It's your child's family.

[Anonymous]

Meh. No biggie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You put the toddler to nap on grandma's bed and sit and have the dessert.

No way did I let my toddler hold me hostage on holidays. And it's only lunchtime -- did you see these people yesterday or on Christmas eve? If not, you bugging out around noon is rude. It's your child's family.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, I hate it when people use dessert as a way to hold people hostage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You put the toddler to nap on grandma's bed and sit and have the dessert.

No way did I let my toddler hold me hostage on holidays. And it's only lunchtime -- did you see these people yesterday or on Christmas eve? If not, you bugging out around noon is rude. It's your child's family.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You put the toddler to nap on grandma's bed and sit and have the dessert.

No way did I let my toddler hold me hostage on holidays. And it's only lunchtime -- did you see these people yesterday or on Christmas eve? If not, you bugging out around noon is rude. It's your child's family.

+1

Not every toddler will just conk out on any available bed.

I would be very clear that you are leaving at x time due to naps well in advance.

The bigger issue is that she screamed at you and DH said nothing. I would have packed up the kids and walked out right then--and DH had darned well better come too.