Has anyone on here found their spouse on the Ashley Madison list?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't find my spouse, but found a few neighbors.

Question: If someone's name is listed multiple times, what does that mean? One neighbor has his name listed once. Another has his name listed at least 5 times (listed twice in a row, then a few other peoples name in between, then listed again 3 times in a row.) I saw other names (not people I know) listed even more than that.

Also, the only comprehensive list I've seen is for Northern VA. If anyone happens to know of a similar list/site that shows the names for Paulding county, GA, I would love to see it. Thank you.

You have too much time on your hands.

? It took all of 5 minutes to look at the site and see all the names for my city...How is that "too much time?"

That you even care to know after seeing your spouse is not in it, you'd take even 5 minutes to check out your neighborhood. Why do you care?

I think you are projecting your own insecurities here and making assumptions about my motives.

I looked through my neighborhood to see if my spouse's name was on it. I was on my phone and I didn't know of another way to search other than to just look though every name. The list that I saw has all addresses within the same city together, so it did not take long to scroll down to my city and look through all the names. While looking, I did happen to notice the names of several neighbors. I noticed after the fact that the list also appeared to be in alphabetical order (by first name.)

Ha. You can 'think' all you want. Why are people insecure enough to look for their spouses on there? Then, scroll through to find others! I don't care about your motives at all. Clearly, you took the time to search people out. It's OK. Everybody is doing it. It's the cool thing to do.

Yes, I do think, which is apparently not possible for you. Once I scrolled through the names and didn't see my own spouse there, I was done. No "Searching" or "scrolling" beyond that. I do have a reason to look up someone in Paulding Co. Georgia---but beyond that, I don't care who is on the list.

So spouse was smart enough not to pay! scrolled=searching. Keep kidding yourself.

NP here, let it go you sound ridiculous. You are way too invested in this woman's five minute search.

You miss the point entirely. I don't see how searching for people on these lists gives anyone relief. Nothing good can come from it. I have zero invested in this, and I may sound ridiculous, because I don't see it your way.

i.e.. Anyone who has to pay a private investigator to search for their husband has already lost trust in them, for whatever reason IMO.

You are complaining that people shouldn't judge those on the lists, yet you judge a wife for her reaction to finding her DH on the list? You are no better than the people you are turning up your nose at. Hypocrite.

[Anonymous]

"what's the big deal about an affair"

Really. What's the big deal ? Maybe my sister needs to let it go since she's recovering from breast cancer and her husband is poking everyone in town.

Yes, her husband is on the list.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

"what's the big deal about an affair"

Really. What's the big deal ? Maybe my sister needs to let it go since she's recovering from breast cancer and her husband is poking everyone in town.

Yes, her husband is on the list.

Yeah I seriously don't understand what is wrong with these people. Um, how about STDs? Marriage vows?

If you have an open marriage and you're on AM, then fine. Otherwise, you have no business being on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't find my spouse, but found a few neighbors.

Question: If someone's name is listed multiple times, what does that mean? One neighbor has his name listed once. Another has his name listed at least 5 times (listed twice in a row, then a few other peoples name in between, then listed again 3 times in a row.) I saw other names (not people I know) listed even more than that.

Also, the only comprehensive list I've seen is for Northern VA. If anyone happens to know of a similar list/site that shows the names for Paulding county, GA, I would love to see it. Thank you.

You have too much time on your hands.

? It took all of 5 minutes to look at the site and see all the names for my city...How is that "too much time?"

That you even care to know after seeing your spouse is not in it, you'd take even 5 minutes to check out your neighborhood. Why do you care?

I think you are projecting your own insecurities here and making assumptions about my motives.

I looked through my neighborhood to see if my spouse's name was on it. I was on my phone and I didn't know of another way to search other than to just look though every name. The list that I saw has all addresses within the same city together, so it did not take long to scroll down to my city and look through all the names. While looking, I did happen to notice the names of several neighbors. I noticed after the fact that the list also appeared to be in alphabetical order (by first name.)

Ha. You can 'think' all you want. Why are people insecure enough to look for their spouses on there? Then, scroll through to find others! I don't care about your motives at all. Clearly, you took the time to search people out. It's OK. Everybody is doing it. It's the cool thing to do.

Yes, I do think, which is apparently not possible for you. Once I scrolled through the names and didn't see my own spouse there, I was done. No "Searching" or "scrolling" beyond that. I do have a reason to look up someone in Paulding Co. Georgia---but beyond that, I don't care who is on the list.

So spouse was smart enough not to pay! scrolled=searching. Keep kidding yourself.

NP here, let it go you sound ridiculous. You are way too invested in this woman's five minute search.

You miss the point entirely. I don't see how searching for people on these lists gives anyone relief. Nothing good can come from it. I have zero invested in this, and I may sound ridiculous, because I don't see it your way.

i.e.. Anyone who has to pay a private investigator to search for their husband has already lost trust in them, for whatever reason IMO.

You are complaining that people shouldn't judge those on the lists, yet you judge a wife for her reaction to finding her DH on the list? You are no better than the people you are turning up your nose at. Hypocrite.

You are wrong. I said I don't see how any good can come from it. I don't judge PP's reaction to it. Why are people so hostile?

Did you just pass judgment on me? Sort of ironic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If so, what are you going to do about it?

I'm trying to decide whether I want to search for my spouse or not. I'm afraid of finding out...

I think if you have to search, your relationship is over even if you don't find your spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If so, what are you going to do about it?

I'm trying to decide whether I want to search for my spouse or not. I'm afraid of finding out...

I think if you have to search, your relationship is over even if you don't find your spouse.

+1 This boils down to trust. If you don't trust your spouse you have every right to know the truth and seek it out. But you probably have a gut feeling already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:yes. i'm not sure what to do next. i just want to throw up. he used his credit card, so not a voyeur. we have a young kid.

If you have a young kid, odds are that you went through a period of marital stress - because infants and young kids do that to a relationship. There was probably a period where you were too tired for sex, because a lot of women with infants/toddlers are, and on top of that you were dealing with some majorly changing hormones. So, there may have been a period when your husband felt like he had lost his relationship with you and may have been looking for something that he felt like he had lost. This is not to say that you were wrong in any way, nor does it provide and excuse if he actually cheated.

He may have looked at AM and used it as part of a fantasy, but that does not mean that he actually cheated or that he was really looking for that. (It doesn't mean that he didn't cheat, either, I'm just trying to give you another perspective.) If he spent hundreds or thousands of dollars on AM, then you have good reason to suspect something, and even if he didn't cheat you have legitimate reason to be mad at him for wasting money.

But, if he only had a transaction or two, he might've given AM a look and then decided that wasn't for him.

This isn't necessarily a sign that your marriage is over, or even that it was necessarily threatened. It is, however, a sign that you need to talk with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If so, what are you going to do about it?

I'm trying to decide whether I want to search for my spouse or not. I'm afraid of finding out...

I think if you have to search, your relationship is over even if you don't find your spouse.

+1 This boils down to trust. If you don't trust your spouse you have every right to know the truth and seek it out. But you probably have a gut feeling already.

We know this site is being flooded by desperate men who are trying their best to make this go away. You fools. Go away. You clearly know nothing about the DCUM community. We are bloodthirsty harpies and don't like outsiders. Let us sanctimoniously judge in peace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't find my spouse, but found a few neighbors.

Question: If someone's name is listed multiple times, what does that mean? One neighbor has his name listed once. Another has his name listed at least 5 times (listed twice in a row, then a few other peoples name in between, then listed again 3 times in a row.) I saw other names (not people I know) listed even more than that.

Also, the only comprehensive list I've seen is for Northern VA. If anyone happens to know of a similar list/site that shows the names for Paulding county, GA, I would love to see it. Thank you.

It probably means they created multiple accounts at varios times. i.e. Created an account, found someone and didn't keep up that account, lost interest in the person they were banging, couldn't get into old account, created new account, etc

Not correct. Each CC transaction by itself generated two entries. Each pair of entries represents a single purchase, not necessarily multiple accounts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If so, what are you going to do about it?

I'm trying to decide whether I want to search for my spouse or not. I'm afraid of finding out...

I think if you have to search, your relationship is over even if you don't find your spouse.

I disagree with this. I can't imagine my husband ever cheating, but I checked for his name anyway. Just because I couldn't see him actually cheating doesn't mean I think it's completely impossible that he ever got curious and signed up in a dark moment even if he never actually contacted anyone. If that had happened, I could have dealt with it and moved on. Given how public this all is, though, I wanted to know if his name was on there rather than everyone in the neighborhood but me knowing and then being blind-sided when gossipy person let it drop.

[Anonymous]

You can see all of the information on your spouse at Trustify - they will give you all of the information you need on conversations your spouse had, how much they spent, their profile etc. www.trustify.info/check

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can see all of the information on your spouse at Trustify - they will give you all of the information you need on conversations your spouse had, how much they spent, their profile etc. www.trustify.info/check

DO NOT USE TRUSTIFY TO CHECK FOR PEOPLE WHO MAY HAVE BEEN ON AM. The company is using that site as a tool to coerce people to sign up for their service, which is basically an online marketplace for hiring private investigators:

http://www.troyhunt.com/2015/08/ashley-madison-search-sites-like.html

At the best, if you search for an e-mail, Trustify will send a message to that e-mail account saying that someone was searching for them on the AM database. So at best, you'll be alerting your DH or DW that you suspect him/her of infidelity. (Or your co-worker, or friend's spouse, etc.)

There are other sites out there where you can find info.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can see all of the information on your spouse at Trustify - they will give you all of the information you need on conversations your spouse had, how much they spent, their profile etc. www.trustify.info/check

DO NOT USE TRUSTIFY TO CHECK FOR PEOPLE WHO MAY HAVE BEEN ON AM. The company is using that site as a tool to coerce people to sign up for their service, which is basically an online marketplace for hiring private investigators:

http://www.troyhunt.com/2015/08/ashley-madison-search-sites-like.html

At the best, if you search for an e-mail, Trustify will send a message to that e-mail account saying that someone was searching for them on the AM database. So at best, you'll be alerting your DH or DW that you suspect him/her of infidelity. (Or your co-worker, or friend's spouse, etc.)

There are other sites out there where you can find info.

This is true. Trustify will send an email to the address that gets a positive hit for AM. DH got the email but knew I was checking. It was more for fun. Boy was I shocked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If so, what are you going to do about it?

I'm trying to decide whether I want to search for my spouse or not. I'm afraid of finding out...

I think if you have to search, your relationship is over even if you don't find your spouse.

I disagree with this. I can't imagine my husband ever cheating, but I checked for his name anyway. Just because I couldn't see him actually cheating doesn't mean I think it's completely impossible that he ever got curious and signed up in a dark moment even if he never actually contacted anyone. If that had happened, I could have dealt with it and moved on. Given how public this all is, though, I wanted to know if his name was on there rather than everyone in the neighborhood but me knowing and then being blind-sided when gossipy person let it drop.

+1 When I told my DH about the list being published, and I saw someone we knew on the list, he said, "And you probably looked for my name, too." I said, "of course..Just making 100% sure." He laughed.

[Anonymous]

Yes and a new fake email address I didn't know about. I confronted him and got the password for AM (he had wiped his account) and then I used the same password to get into his email. I found the mother load there. At least 8 different accounts at various hookup sites, starting from about a year ago. Also an email referring to a pay as you go cell account for a phone I didn't know about.
We have a 2.5 yr old and I'm 3 months pregnant. He's going to have to find a place to stay after he comes by to visit his daughter tonight. I don't want to be near him.