Disagreement with DW over non-athletic 8yo

[Anonymous]

OP, I have a child like yours, only mine is 10. However, DH and I are opposites: I was the athlete all my life, he was a drama geek. Yet, he was the one who was pushing DS into sports in addition to performing arts and DS absolutely hates anything competitive. Every summer camp was an epic fail for him. So this summer we basically let him choose. We told him, "son, choose what you want." So he chose CTY camp. Sure, it's expensive as hell, our commute is a bit of a pain, but he's so, so happy. We are content knowing that he won't make a football team or be a swim jock, I just don't want a kid with that much anxiety.

[Anonymous]

I wish my parents had pushed me in sports. I would've probably been more of a team player and leader rather than a lonely consultant.

[Anonymous]

I'd take him to games (professional and non professional) as a spectator. Not everyone has to be a participant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd take him to games (professional and non professional) as a spectator. Not everyone has to be a participant.

Great idea. My DS loves watching baseball. But he really can't pay attention in sports, it's not like his favorite game of chess, simply too many people around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I have a child like yours, only mine is 10. However, DH and I are opposites: I was the athlete all my life, he was a drama geek. Yet, he was the one who was pushing DS into sports in addition to performing arts and DS absolutely hates anything competitive. Every summer camp was an epic fail for him. So this summer we basically let him choose. We told him, "son, choose what you want." So he chose CTY camp. Sure, it's expensive as hell, our commute is a bit of a pain, but he's so, so happy. We are content knowing that he won't make a football team or be a swim jock, I just don't want a kid with that much anxiety.

Anxiety about "anything competitive?" This is a rough place for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Raise the child you have, not the child you want.

If you must insist on trying to keep active in athletics, perhaps choose non-team activities.

E.g. Fencing, martial arts, etc. Sports that don't involve a ball.

I agree with this. I completely understand your view, op. My 7 yo DD is not very athletic, though she has enjoyed the sports teams we've signed her up for. I have found that she does better with individual sports like swimming, rather than team sports. You might look into trying that-swimming, tennis, fencing, gymnastics, etc.

[Anonymous]

I hate anything competitive as well. I was actually really good at softball and still decided to drop it after middle school b/c of the competitive aspect. I personally believe much of the world's trouble can be traced to competition rather than collaboration. I choose to set personal goals and strive for them.

Let your kid be. He can skill-up in a variety of sports without being in camp. Some of my fondest memories are shooting hoops with my dad--and playing catching, batting, going on bike rides, hiking, etc. Poor guy.

[Anonymous]

My husband and I are the opposite on this as well. We were both very competitive in sports and our daughter...is not.

He feels we shouldn't push it and I think we should at least get her to try (just because she's not a boy doesn't mean she doesn't get to try things). I think if she had been a boy, he'd be more forceful.

You need to engage your son in more activities that are one on one. Also, maybe do some things together that are fun (hiking?)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just echoing the PPs -- play up your child's strengths. Listen to your child and sign him up for things he wants to do.

There are a million ways for him to have a positive experience and still have an active lifestyle for life. Try new sports that play into his skills. Work on personal pursuits - tennis, golf, etc that he can play longterm if he enjoys them. Try "non-traditional" sports that play to his skills. Or just let him do activities that may not be sports but bring him pleasure.