polyamory

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are any of you marrieds "out" as poly? Do your kids know? Or do people think your BF/GF is just a friend?

We are out-ish. We are completely out in our circle of friends, and to 2 sets of parents (Husband's and Boyfriend's). Telling my parents will likely mean the end of our relationship, and I haven't been able to pull the trigger just yet. Our one child is still a baby, but we don't want her to have to keep our "secret". I will probably come out to my parents in the next year or two. I have never been comfortable with the idea of pretending my boyfriend is just a friend. I feel like it'd be completely disrespectful to our relationship, and his status as a member of our family.

So who's the baby daddy?

I'm going to assume your question is well intentioned. They are both her father. They were both with me through the pregnancy, they were both present at her birth, they have been there during the sleepless nights, and so on. We all know who contributed their genes, but it really doesn't matter. She has three parents and she is loved enormously.

and someone gave you clearance...

I don't have a clearance. I think you are mixing up posters

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are any of you marrieds "out" as poly? Do your kids know? Or do people think your BF/GF is just a friend?

We are out-ish. We are completely out in our circle of friends, and to 2 sets of parents (Husband's and Boyfriend's). Telling my parents will likely mean the end of our relationship, and I haven't been able to pull the trigger just yet. Our one child is still a baby, but we don't want her to have to keep our "secret". I will probably come out to my parents in the next year or two. I have never been comfortable with the idea of pretending my boyfriend is just a friend. I feel like it'd be completely disrespectful to our relationship, and his status as a member of our family.

So who's the baby daddy?

I'm going to assume your question is well intentioned. They are both her father. They were both with me through the pregnancy, they were both present at her birth, they have been there during the sleepless nights, and so on. We all know who contributed their genes, but it really doesn't matter. She has three parents and she is loved enormously.

No, she doesn't. No matter what you say. She has biological parents who have a screw loose, and a boarder who is along for the ride.

Is biology what makes a parent? Do you feel similarly about adoptive parents? Why do you think you get to have an opinion on who is and not a parent to my child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are any of you marrieds "out" as poly? Do your kids know? Or do people think your BF/GF is just a friend?

We are out-ish. We are completely out in our circle of friends, and to 2 sets of parents (Husband's and Boyfriend's). Telling my parents will likely mean the end of our relationship, and I haven't been able to pull the trigger just yet. Our one child is still a baby, but we don't want her to have to keep our "secret". I will probably come out to my parents in the next year or two. I have never been comfortable with the idea of pretending my boyfriend is just a friend. I feel like it'd be completely disrespectful to our relationship, and his status as a member of our family.

So who's the baby daddy?

I'm going to assume your question is well intentioned. They are both her father. They were both with me through the pregnancy, they were both present at her birth, they have been there during the sleepless nights, and so on. We all know who contributed their genes, but it really doesn't matter. She has three parents and she is loved enormously.

No, she doesn't. No matter what you say. She has biological parents who have a screw loose, and a boarder who is along for the ride.[/quote]


This pp is green with envy as am I. I am poly and I do have a lover but my husband would not go for a live in. Sigh.

[Anonymous]

I am the poster who is poly and was in a FMF relationship. Our 3rd is/was a big part of our lives, but in no way shape or form do my kids think they have 3 parents. She is a single mom and her kids are friends with ours. Our physical relationship is over because she found a man she wanted to be monogamous with. We remain great family friends. As far as the kids were concerned the transition for us was seamless. We still get together with her and her kids at least once a week for purely platonic fun.

I feel like the above poster with the MFM live in with a baby is playing with fire. This can end terribly with a kid in the middle. This would be crossing a major line for me.

[Anonymous]

How hard is it usually to find a partner?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are any of you marrieds "out" as poly? Do your kids know? Or do people think your BF/GF is just a friend?

We are out-ish. We are completely out in our circle of friends, and to 2 sets of parents (Husband's and Boyfriend's). Telling my parents will likely mean the end of our relationship, and I haven't been able to pull the trigger just yet. Our one child is still a baby, but we don't want her to have to keep our "secret". I will probably come out to my parents in the next year or two. I have never been comfortable with the idea of pretending my boyfriend is just a friend. I feel like it'd be completely disrespectful to our relationship, and his status as a member of our family.

So who's the baby daddy?

I'm going to assume your question is well intentioned. They are both her father. They were both with me through the pregnancy, they were both present at her birth, they have been there during the sleepless nights, and so on. We all know who contributed their genes, but it really doesn't matter. She has three parents and she is loved enormously.

right, it totally doesn't matter
can't wait for that one to hit puberty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How hard is it usually to find a partner?

How picky are you? I am very picky, so hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How hard is it usually to find a partner?

How hard is it for a poly woman to find a lover? The easiest thing you can imagine. Finding a good, stable partner in life who is emotionally/intellectually compatible and also great in bed? Seems almost impossible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I equate polyamory with silly twenty somethings who think they are too cool for school. these are the same types who gets tattoos and smoke lots of weed and don't have college degrees.

Grow up! Polyamory is a disgusting way to live. It is skeezy. It is gross. It is not natural.

Deep down, you know it is strange and wrong.

Just get a divorce already. Your poor kids.

I guarantee you that there are lots of polyamorous folks who do not satisfy this description. With advanced degrees, good jobs, and nice houses in the suburbs. They just don't talk about it because of people like you.

At least I know my DH and I can have an open and honest conversation about these things and that we never have to worry about cheating.

She lives in a bubble of ignorance.

late 30s
no drugs/tattoos, but we do have security clearances
two advanced degrees
Minivan driver
Happily married and have sex much more than the average couple at our stage in life
Everyone who does not know would be floored if they knew what goes on behind closed doors. Sometimes I wish I could just tell people in order to watch their reactions. However we have kids and people are awful, so we keep it under tight wraps. But what we have discovered is that they are A LOT of people like us.

I will agree that MANY younger people embrace this lifestyle than our age and older. There are many groups popping up catering to an under 35 set. I wish we were born 15 years later, I think the future is a better one. It is unfortunate to be on the tail end of a society that watched way too many Disney movies. Monogamy most often leads to sexless marriages and to me THAT is what is strange and wrong and unnatural. Who the hell thinks monogamy is natural? What a joke! Get real. We are not bird brained penguins.

I think this is sort of how I feel. I love DH. I know I will always want to be with him, share my home with him, have a physical relationship with him, have him as my best and most trusted friend.

I just also have a hard time thinking about him being the only person I ever have a physical relationship with for the rest of my life. And, to me, the desire to be with someone else does not diminish my desire to be with DH.

Still, I am nervous about potentially screwing up a good thing.

So how much of this have you discussed with your DH and how does he feel about it? It sounds like you haven't actually acts on your feelings yet. How do you both plan to go forward?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I equate polyamory with silly twenty somethings who think they are too cool for school. these are the same types who gets tattoos and smoke lots of weed and don't have college degrees.

Grow up! Polyamory is a disgusting way to live. It is skeezy. It is gross. It is not natural.

Deep down, you know it is strange and wrong.

Just get a divorce already. Your poor kids.

I guarantee you that there are lots of polyamorous folks who do not satisfy this description. With advanced degrees, good jobs, and nice houses in the suburbs. They just don't talk about it because of people like you.

At least I know my DH and I can have an open and honest conversation about these things and that we never have to worry about cheating.

She lives in a bubble of ignorance.

late 30s
no drugs/tattoos, but we do have security clearances
two advanced degrees
Minivan driver
Happily married and have sex much more than the average couple at our stage in life
Everyone who does not know would be floored if they knew what goes on behind closed doors. Sometimes I wish I could just tell people in order to watch their reactions. However we have kids and people are awful, so we keep it under tight wraps. But what we have discovered is that they are A LOT of people like us.

I will agree that MANY younger people embrace this lifestyle than our age and older. There are many groups popping up catering to an under 35 set. I wish we were born 15 years later, I think the future is a better one. It is unfortunate to be on the tail end of a society that watched way too many Disney movies. Monogamy most often leads to sexless marriages and to me THAT is what is strange and wrong and unnatural. Who the hell thinks monogamy is natural? What a joke! Get real. We are not bird brained penguins.

I think this is sort of how I feel. I love DH. I know I will always want to be with him, share my home with him, have a physical relationship with him, have him as my best and most trusted friend.

I just also have a hard time thinking about him being the only person I ever have a physical relationship with for the rest of my life. And, to me, the desire to be with someone else does not diminish my desire to be with DH.

Still, I am nervous about potentially screwing up a good thing.

So how much of this have you discussed with your DH and how does he feel about it? It sounds like you haven't actually acts on your feelings yet. How do you both plan to go forward?

We've discussed it generally. He knows I'm attracted to women and (in the abstract) would like to act on that. In theory, he is not necessarily opposed to the idea of exploring physical relationships with others, for me or for himself.

No specific plans to go forward. Frankly, with a small kid, the logistics seem daunting - there are only so many hours in the day. And I think even if we are both comfortable with it in theory, it's still a big leap of faith to make the theoretical real.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I equate polyamory with silly twenty somethings who think they are too cool for school. these are the same types who gets tattoos and smoke lots of weed and don't have college degrees.

Grow up! Polyamory is a disgusting way to live. It is skeezy. It is gross. It is not natural.

Deep down, you know it is strange and wrong.

Just get a divorce already. Your poor kids.

I guarantee you that there are lots of polyamorous folks who do not satisfy this description. With advanced degrees, good jobs, and nice houses in the suburbs. They just don't talk about it because of people like you.

At least I know my DH and I can have an open and honest conversation about these things and that we never have to worry about cheating.

She lives in a bubble of ignorance.

late 30s
no drugs/tattoos, but we do have security clearances
two advanced degrees
Minivan driver
Happily married and have sex much more than the average couple at our stage in life
Everyone who does not know would be floored if they knew what goes on behind closed doors. Sometimes I wish I could just tell people in order to watch their reactions. However we have kids and people are awful, so we keep it under tight wraps. But what we have discovered is that they are A LOT of people like us.

I will agree that MANY younger people embrace this lifestyle than our age and older. There are many groups popping up catering to an under 35 set. I wish we were born 15 years later, I think the future is a better one. It is unfortunate to be on the tail end of a society that watched way too many Disney movies. Monogamy most often leads to sexless marriages and to me THAT is what is strange and wrong and unnatural. Who the hell thinks monogamy is natural? What a joke! Get real. We are not bird brained penguins.

I think this is sort of how I feel. I love DH. I know I will always want to be with him, share my home with him, have a physical relationship with him, have him as my best and most trusted friend.

I just also have a hard time thinking about him being the only person I ever have a physical relationship with for the rest of my life. And, to me, the desire to be with someone else does not diminish my desire to be with DH.

Still, I am nervous about potentially screwing up a good thing.

So how much of this have you discussed with your DH and how does he feel about it? It sounds like you haven't actually acts on your feelings yet. How do you both plan to go forward?

We've discussed it generally. He knows I'm attracted to women and (in the abstract) would like to act on that. In theory, he is not necessarily opposed to the idea of exploring physical relationships with others, for me or for himself.

No specific plans to go forward. Frankly, with a small kid, the logistics seem daunting - there are only so many hours in the day. And I think even if we are both comfortable with it in theory, it's still a big leap of faith to make the theoretical real.

There are lots of meetup and discussion groups in the area where you can meet people who make it work. We're generally a friendly bunch and I'm sure you could get your questions answered.

[Anonymous]

Is BmorePoly a good resource to check out? If we went to a meet up, could we expect people to be discreet/respect our privacy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I equate polyamory with silly twenty somethings who think they are too cool for school. these are the same types who gets tattoos and smoke lots of weed and don't have college degrees.

Grow up! Polyamory is a disgusting way to live. It is skeezy. It is gross. It is not natural.

Deep down, you know it is strange and wrong.

Just get a divorce already. Your poor kids.

I guarantee you that there are lots of polyamorous folks who do not satisfy this description. With advanced degrees, good jobs, and nice houses in the suburbs. They just don't talk about it because of people like you.

At least I know my DH and I can have an open and honest conversation about these things and that we never have to worry about cheating.

She lives in a bubble of ignorance.

late 30s
no drugs/tattoos, but we do have security clearances
two advanced degrees
Minivan driver
Happily married and have sex much more than the average couple at our stage in life
Everyone who does not know would be floored if they knew what goes on behind closed doors. Sometimes I wish I could just tell people in order to watch their reactions. However we have kids and people are awful, so we keep it under tight wraps. But what we have discovered is that they are A LOT of people like us.

I will agree that MANY younger people embrace this lifestyle than our age and older. There are many groups popping up catering to an under 35 set. I wish we were born 15 years later, I think the future is a better one. It is unfortunate to be on the tail end of a society that watched way too many Disney movies. Monogamy most often leads to sexless marriages and to me THAT is what is strange and wrong and unnatural. Who the hell thinks monogamy is natural? What a joke! Get real. We are not bird brained penguins.

I think this is sort of how I feel. I love DH. I know I will always want to be with him, share my home with him, have a physical relationship with him, have him as my best and most trusted friend.

I just also have a hard time thinking about him being the only person I ever have a physical relationship with for the rest of my life. And, to me, the desire to be with someone else does not diminish my desire to be with DH.

Still, I am nervous about potentially screwing up a good thing.

So how much of this have you discussed with your DH and how does he feel about it? It sounds like you haven't actually acts on your feelings yet. How do you both plan to go forward?

We've discussed it generally. He knows I'm attracted to women and (in the abstract) would like to act on that. In theory, he is not necessarily opposed to the idea of exploring physical relationships with others, for me or for himself.

No specific plans to go forward. Frankly, with a small kid, the logistics seem daunting - there are only so many hours in the day. And I think even if we are both comfortable with it in theory, it's still a big leap of faith to make the theoretical real.[/quot


Please get yourself some help before you lose your child and family over this nonsense. It 's not all about fulfilling your animal instincts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I equate polyamory with silly twenty somethings who think they are too cool for school. these are the same types who gets tattoos and smoke lots of weed and don't have college degrees.

Grow up! Polyamory is a disgusting way to live. It is skeezy. It is gross. It is not natural.

Deep down, you know it is strange and wrong.

Just get a divorce already. Your poor kids.

I guarantee you that there are lots of polyamorous folks who do not satisfy this description. With advanced degrees, good jobs, and nice houses in the suburbs. They just don't talk about it because of people like you.

At least I know my DH and I can have an open and honest conversation about these things and that we never have to worry about cheating.

She lives in a bubble of ignorance.

late 30s
no drugs/tattoos, but we do have security clearances
two advanced degrees
Minivan driver
Happily married and have sex much more than the average couple at our stage in life
Everyone who does not know would be floored if they knew what goes on behind closed doors. Sometimes I wish I could just tell people in order to watch their reactions. However we have kids and people are awful, so we keep it under tight wraps. But what we have discovered is that they are A LOT of people like us.

I will agree that MANY younger people embrace this lifestyle than our age and older. There are many groups popping up catering to an under 35 set. I wish we were born 15 years later, I think the future is a better one. It is unfortunate to be on the tail end of a society that watched way too many Disney movies. Monogamy most often leads to sexless marriages and to me THAT is what is strange and wrong and unnatural. Who the hell thinks monogamy is natural? What a joke! Get real. We are not bird brained penguins.

I think this is sort of how I feel. I love DH. I know I will always want to be with him, share my home with him, have a physical relationship with him, have him as my best and most trusted friend.

I just also have a hard time thinking about him being the only person I ever have a physical relationship with for the rest of my life. And, to me, the desire to be with someone else does not diminish my desire to be with DH.

Still, I am nervous about potentially screwing up a good thing.

So how much of this have you discussed with your DH and how does he feel about it? It sounds like you haven't actually acts on your feelings yet. How do you both plan to go forward?

We've discussed it generally. He knows I'm attracted to women and (in the abstract) would like to act on that. In theory, he is not necessarily opposed to the idea of exploring physical relationships with others, for me or for himself.

No specific plans to go forward. Frankly, with a small kid, the logistics seem daunting - there are only so many hours in the day. And I think even if we are both comfortable with it in theory, it's still a big leap of faith to make the theoretical real.

Please get yourself some help before you lose your child and family over this nonsense. It 's not all about fulfilling your animal instincts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I equate polyamory with silly twenty somethings who think they are too cool for school. these are the same types who gets tattoos and smoke lots of weed and don't have college degrees.

Grow up! Polyamory is a disgusting way to live. It is skeezy. It is gross. It is not natural.

Deep down, you know it is strange and wrong.

Just get a divorce already. Your poor kids.

I guarantee you that there are lots of polyamorous folks who do not satisfy this description. With advanced degrees, good jobs, and nice houses in the suburbs. They just don't talk about it because of people like you.

At least I know my DH and I can have an open and honest conversation about these things and that we never have to worry about cheating.

She lives in a bubble of ignorance.

late 30s
no drugs/tattoos, but we do have security clearances
two advanced degrees
Minivan driver
Happily married and have sex much more than the average couple at our stage in life
Everyone who does not know would be floored if they knew what goes on behind closed doors. Sometimes I wish I could just tell people in order to watch their reactions. However we have kids and people are awful, so we keep it under tight wraps. But what we have discovered is that they are A LOT of people like us.

I will agree that MANY younger people embrace this lifestyle than our age and older. There are many groups popping up catering to an under 35 set. I wish we were born 15 years later, I think the future is a better one. It is unfortunate to be on the tail end of a society that watched way too many Disney movies. Monogamy most often leads to sexless marriages and to me THAT is what is strange and wrong and unnatural. Who the hell thinks monogamy is natural? What a joke! Get real. We are not bird brained penguins.

I think this is sort of how I feel. I love DH. I know I will always want to be with him, share my home with him, have a physical relationship with him, have him as my best and most trusted friend.

I just also have a hard time thinking about him being the only person I ever have a physical relationship with for the rest of my life. And, to me, the desire to be with someone else does not diminish my desire to be with DH.

Still, I am nervous about potentially screwing up a good thing.

So how much of this have you discussed with your DH and how does he feel about it? It sounds like you haven't actually acts on your feelings yet. How do you both plan to go forward?

We've discussed it generally. He knows I'm attracted to women and (in the abstract) would like to act on that. In theory, he is not necessarily opposed to the idea of exploring physical relationships with others, for me or for himself.

No specific plans to go forward. Frankly, with a small kid, the logistics seem daunting - there are only so many hours in the day. And I think even if we are both comfortable with it in theory, it's still a big leap of faith to make the theoretical real.

Please get yourself some help before you lose your child and family over this nonsense. It 's not all about fulfilling your animal instincts

+1