do you ever bend the rules so your kid can just feel cool

[Anonymous]

I would not say you bent the rules I think you reassessed your rules, realized they were ridiculous and as a logical human you were able to assess your preconceive notions of what it meant to raise a teen girl, realize that your notions were not correct and adjust accordingly.

You probably created a whole bunch of ridiculous rules before you had kids that you have changed.

Mine are:
My child will never play up in a sport
my child will never play travel sports
video game/computer use should be limited to 30 minutes a day (who knew they actually program now and edit go pro video)

Rules I never knew I would need, made them, then broke them:
No wearing snow boots to the pool
No wearing shorts in the snow

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No way is that suit what all the other 13 yo will be wearing! Most of the girls that age at our pool are in one piece suits. It is the high school girls that are in skimpy suits like the one you bought your daughter.

Yeah those are 9 year olds who look 13 to you. Unless it's on swim team, 13 year olds are NOT wearing one pieces especially not to a boy girl pool party. As Garth Algar would say, get the Net!

OP, I stand by my original comment that his was a good move for you. Being a good mom sometimes means bending a little to help your kid out. Kids need that help sometimes, especially the awkward ones. You did her a solid with this and I guarantee she will remember it years down the road when she has her own daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No way is that suit what all the other 13 yo will be wearing! Most of the girls that age at our pool are in one piece suits. It is the high school girls that are in skimpy suits like the one you bought your daughter.

Yeah those are 9 year olds who look 13 to you. Unless it's on swim team, 13 year olds are NOT wearing one pieces especially not to a boy girl pool party. As Garth Algar would say, get the Net!

OP, I stand by my original comment that his was a good move for you. Being a good mom sometimes means bending a little to help your kid out. Kids need that help sometimes, especially the awkward ones. You did her a solid with this and I guarantee she will remember it years down the road when she has her own daughter.

+1... all the girls are wearing that type of suit at the end of year party. 7th/8th grade

[Anonymous]

OMG, it's super cute. She has great taste, and it covers everything it needs to cover!

[Anonymous]

This post really brings me back to my own teen years. My parents were generally pretty strict and mom (probably driven by dear old Dad) chose my bathing suits as a hill to die on. I was very upset about it at the time and went to great lengths to try to sneak a bikini into the house, but looking back, I don't begrudge my mom forbidding them.

I think it's a cute suit. The bottom is a little skimpy. Agree with PPs who said to try to find a new one at Target. The mismatched look is very cute and she will probably be more comfortable.

[Anonymous]

Op here. Thanks for all the feedback. My daughter has no curves and the suit isn't showing curves, as there are none yet! I honestly can't say its much worst then the suits at Justice so it is what it is. Like I said Im not thrilled about it but want her to have this one night as she imagined.

[Anonymous]

I love it, it's super cute!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:op here...its this one...
http://www.ae.com/aerie/browse/product.jsp?productId=0752_8749_527&catId=cat6900034&bundleCatId=cat7400013

My husband would NEVER let my 13yr out in this. I wouldn't either. Just let your husband be the bad guy on this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No way is that suit what all the other 13 yo will be wearing! Most of the girls that age at our pool are in one piece suits. It is the high school girls that are in skimpy suits like the one you bought your daughter.

Yeah those are 9 year olds who look 13 to you. Unless it's on swim team, 13 year olds are NOT wearing one pieces especially not to a boy girl pool party. As Garth Algar would say, get the Net!

OP, I stand by my original comment that his was a good move for you. Being a good mom sometimes means bending a little to help your kid out. Kids need that help sometimes, especially the awkward ones. You did her a solid with this and I guarantee she will remember it years down the road when she has her own daughter.

My daughter is 14 and hosted a 50 kid swim party last year and 80% of the kids had on one pieces and tankini's. The rest were either athletic type of bikinis or even a few swim shirts. Sorry to burst your bubble but there was zero string bikinis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:op here...its this one...
http://www.ae.com/aerie/browse/product.jsp?productId=0752_8749_527&catId=cat6900034&bundleCatId=cat7400013

My husband would NEVER let my 13yr out in this. I wouldn't either. Just let your husband be the bad guy on this.

Your husband will have a lot of adjusting to do, as his daughter grows up and becomes an adult woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's a cute swimsuit. Assuming she isn't super busty and curvaceous she should look cute in it.

Do get her back up one for more active play though,

+1
Or maybe some kind of shorts and swimsuit-material (rashguard) top that she can throw on top if she wants.

As for the boys and their thoughts, etc: she's not responsible for their thoughts, and it's a pool party, for crying out loud. Do you really think the boys' thoughts/etc would be that different if the swimsuits had twice as much fabric? I think not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not say you bent the rules I think you reassessed your rules, realized they were ridiculous and as a logical human you were able to assess your preconceive notions of what it meant to raise a teen girl, realize that your notions were not correct and adjust accordingly.

You probably created a whole bunch of ridiculous rules before you had kids that you have changed.

I agree with this statement. Our kids are now 17 and 15- we've changed our "rules" so many times I don't care to list them here. I guess I'm just not as rigid in my thinking as some other PPs. Our kids are responsible and have earned our trust over time- I can't fathom sticking to some random "rule" from 5 years ago when evidence and experience have changed the situation. Especially when no two sets of parents would ever agree on a uniform set of rules- we're stricter than most, more liberal than some- I have no regrets admitting that our previous opinion was wrong (or just naïve) and changed.

As a father, I see nothing wrong with that suit. Thirteen yo boys will be staring at the girls regardless of what they wear and IMO, that suit is far from scandalous. Of course it all depends on her body type, development, etc but to be honest, I was expecting this thread to be about so much more than a two piece.

[Anonymous]

I also don't get the fuzz...that's a totally fine bikini (checked the link). Sure it's skimpy but if she handles it well and doesn't try to be sexy it's all well. If she did get it to be sexy and get a boy then I'd feel differently of course

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also don't get the fuzz...that's a totally fine bikini (checked the link). Sure it's skimpy but if she handles it well and doesn't try to be sexy it's all well. If she did get it to be sexy and get a boy then I'd feel differently of course

I also think it's fine, and the bigger a deal you make about it to your DD the more of an issue it will be. Also - it's not like you ordered the suit from Frederick's of Hollywood. It's from Aerie, where probably 90% of her classmates are suit shopping as well. If your DH has a huge problem with the string bottoms you could swap them out for the matching wide band bikini shown with that top.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's too skimpy. Boyshorts only would be the direction I would go. You don't want her to be perceived as slutty by her peers (male or female). She may not understand it yet but it's your job to put brakes on it. Yes, I've spent 3 hours in the mall with a teen as well as 12 hours in the car, 8 hours on the plane and a week in a hospital. It's called being a parent, stop being lazy.

This is a disgusting post. I bet you think the moms in tennis skirts are slutty too. Get that thought and that word out of your vocabulary. Especially for a 13 y o girl in a cute swimsuit.

It's the reality of today's life, I don't like it any more than you do. There are mean girls, bullying and kids eager to be popular by any stupid means that they will later come to regret.