do you ever bend the rules so your kid can just feel cool

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a good call IMO. Ultimately not very harmful but gives her a nice boost and the opportunity to feel cool. I think this is totally fine and give you credit for being willing to help give her some confidence.

Totally agree. I was that child back in the day and still remember how grateful I was to my mom for bending the rules and easing up on certain things so that I could fit in better. Some things really aren't a big deal in the whole scheme of life, and this is something your daughter will remember forever. Don't listen to the comment re: being a girlfriend vs. a mother. With empathy, as you've shown, you can sometimes be both.

FWIW, I think the bikini she chose is cute. It's exactly what all the other girls will be wearing.

Agree!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is what all the 13 year olds wore in the 80s. Mine was peach and blue. Course, we would keep t-shirts on over them most of the time....

I was 13 in the 80s and neither I nor any of my classmates was wearing that.

I had a suit just like that at 18, only mine was black and turquoise.

[Anonymous]

Eh, it's skimpier than I would like but whatever. You have to pick your battles. This isn't one I would go to the mat over.

[Anonymous]

My concern with that suit and an awkward middle school girl would be a humiliating BATHING SUIT MALFUNCTION. Trust me, this is the worst. Is she aware of how carefully she is going to have to move in that to keep everything in place?

[Anonymous]

Could you convince her to wear a rash guard?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Could you convince her to wear a rash guard?

Ok grandma

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Former MS principal here. This is fine. She will not stand out.

Sorry but my DD is in middle school now, and neither her principal nor her assistant principal (who she's much closer with) have EVER seen her, or any of the kids, in swimsuits. I'm not sure how your being a former MS principal adds weight to your thinking she won't stand out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's too skimpy. Boyshorts only would be the direction I would go. You don't want her to be perceived as slutty by her peers (male or female). She may not understand it yet but it's your job to put brakes on it. Yes, I've spent 3 hours in the mall with a teen as well as 12 hours in the car, 8 hours on the plane and a week in a hospital. It's called being a parent, stop being lazy.

There are a lot of middle-school girls wearing suits like that at the pool I go to.

OP, it's a cute swimsuit, and she likes it (I assume). There are a lot of things I will put my foot down about. But I would not put my foot down about a swimsuit for a middle-school end-of-the-year pool party if my middle-school daughter found cute and age-appropriate. And I have a 12-year-old daughter.

However, as at least one PP said, I would talk to her before the party about the ways she can and can't move in that swimsuit, so that she is prepared.

[Anonymous]

Also a teen in the 1980's. Never seen anything like that bathing suit. I think it would have been considered trampy where I lived.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Former MS principal here. This is fine. She will not stand out.

Sorry but my DD is in middle school now, and neither her principal nor her assistant principal (who she's much closer with) have EVER seen her, or any of the kids, in swimsuits. I'm not sure how your being a former MS principal adds weight to your thinking she won't stand out.

Middle-school principals never go to swimming pools?

[Anonymous]

Mom of an 18 year old just heading to high school graduation and on to college here.
I'll give you my opinion: raising a girl is NOT easy. And you have a LONG road ahead.
Save your strength and don't battle over silly things like this with your daughter. Say no sometimes and say yes sometimes on this small stuff.
That suit is not going to make or break either her life or yours.
Let it go and tell your DH to get ready for a long road ahead......

Hope your daughter has fun!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
As a European, I confess you prudish Americans amaze me. What's wrong with this swimsuit, for crying out loud?! It's super cute, and not sexy at all.

What does being European have to do with anything?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's too skimpy. Boyshorts only would be the direction I would go. You don't want her to be perceived as slutty by her peers (male or female). She may not understand it yet but it's your job to put brakes on it. Yes, I've spent 3 hours in the mall with a teen as well as 12 hours in the car, 8 hours on the plane and a week in a hospital. It's called being a parent, stop being lazy.

This is a disgusting post. I bet you think the moms in tennis skirts are slutty too. Get that thought and that word out of your vocabulary. Especially for a 13 y o girl in a cute swimsuit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is what all the 13 year olds wore in the 80s. Mine was peach and blue. Course, we would keep t-shirts on over them most of the time....

I was 13 in the 80s and neither I nor any of my classmates was wearing that.

I had a suit just like that at 18, only mine was black and turquoise.

And this suit is a bit too small for this (older) woman. Looked cute on the right size on a teen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No way is that suit what all the other 13 yo will be wearing! Most of the girls that age at our pool are in one piece suits. It is the high school girls that are in skimpy suits like the one you bought your daughter.

Not true at our community pool. All the girls, from about age 10 and up, wear bikinis. Not teeny-tiny, but bikinis nevertheless.