Neighbors always coming in our yard

[Anonymous]

NRA sign

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't like labeling the neighbor. She doesn't have to be an awful person, be an idiot, be creepy or have autism. The family is just doing something that you don't like or want to have happen. I like the honest approach of trying to bet balize what you want and need. Say, I woukdnorefer that the kids not come over all the time unattended or without asking. Or I don't feel that itMs safe for them to be there an attended could you call first? Or you're kids are great but they come over a bit too much. Could we try to talk frost before they come over so I can say if it is a good time?


It doesn't have to be rude or hostile or make you a jerk. You just have to be calm, honest and straightforward about what you want. GL.

eh, the woman is being rude and presumptuous to walk into a neighbor's fenced in yard like that. At best she's pushy at worst she's trying to push Op's buttons. How would this woman like it of Op routinely bursted through her front door and headed straight to use the bathroom w/o even asking....

And Op better watch it or that's the next thing this woman will be doing. Nip it.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I had a neighbor like this - just show up in the backyard. I told them 'I think we need to take a break from this for awhile.' To which they asked, 'how long' and I said at least til the (Fall in my case).' This was 2 years ago. I've never asked them over since. This is a neighborly 'friendship' you can do without.

My backyard is my oasis and I wouldn't want anything that creates stress, like it's doing for you.

+1

The crazy bold person above--- really?? Why should she have to? God-the self-entitlement! You don't go uninvited into people's backyards. It's called trespassing and in many states you could be shot for doing it.

Not the 'bolded climb the gate'. I was referring to the woman attacking OP for not saying more. Not everyone is a bitch and wants strife

not the pp to whom you are responding, But commonsense dictates if they're already violating boundaries then you need to be extremely direct and clear with them about what you do not want them to do. And what year are we living in, standing up for yourself doesn't make you a bitch makes you a grown ass woman.

This. People are so dependent on group support, that when they have to stand up and handle a negative situation all by themselves, they are too passive and prefer to rely on weak social cues instead. No wonder her neighbors keep coming back.

Really?? Why is the onus never on the uncouth assholes?

How about rude people have some class and manners?

People like OP described run through life crying how people are so mean.

To the other poster--teach your kid NOT to go in other people's yards. It's thar simple. Pick them up and remove them when they do and forcefully tell them this is not our yard/house. It's called teaching. It's how kids learn appropriate behaviors. Don't be a pansy and talk in a baby voice 'no sweetie'--half-assly all the while letting your kid call the shots. It's rude.

This. And passive-aggressively blaming the neighbor 'Mr. Smith doesn't want us back here' is f-d up. It's a law. It's private property. Teach your kids this.

+5000. I've lived in the DC area for a couple years and never cease to be amazed at some of the weird, awkward, antisocial behavior that seems to run strong around here.

Reminds me of when I moved here shortly after college and a 20something roommate in the group house I was living in let her strict, very old fashioned parents LIVE in our 6 person young professional/millennial house when they visited from out of town. First they overstayed their welcome for a long weekend (we said they could spend two nights and assumed it'd be a one time thing), then crashed again for over a WEEK while informing us on short notice without really giving us a choice that they'd be coming again... This was a lousy, angry, bossy roommate who no one really cared for anyway due to her lack of coping and social skills (only child and home taught too), and we had the displeasure of her folks not only sleeping overnight, but roaming around the house during the day (she gave them a spare key and some of us worked from home), making family dinners every night in our kitchen, even entertaining a family friend on a Saturday night in our dining room as roommates awkwardly steered around them. :-x

The lack of boundaries and social tact was appalling, and the parents never even thanked us, offered us food or money or directly communicated with me or the roommates. We realized this saved them $$ vs. a hotel...but the principal of encouraging your parents to chill out among your roomies while they go about their business on a weekend/drink, blast dance music, have loud sex upstairs etc...And when we had the nerve to tell them to stop this, she and her parents FLIPPED OUT at us and acted like we were the bad guys for implying that parents shouldn't be roaming around a shared house of young professionals. Especially when they don't pay rent or respect boundaries. Unreal...

Ok, you are a bitch.

No, not a biotch at all. I lived in a group house before. It was still my home - the place I went to unwind, chill out with people of my own generation. If I had wanted to share a place with parents I would saved my rent $ and stayed in my own parents' house. But I wanted my own place where I could have fun and be comfortable. I would not have appreciated a roommate who kept having her parents over for long weekends, week long stays, etc. In fact, I would have really resented the heck out of that.

I don't know, the behavior sounds unreasonable but you and the other pp sound even worse. You guys are the reason everybody complains about millennials.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a neighbor like this - just show up in the backyard. I told them 'I think we need to take a break from this for awhile.' To which they asked, 'how long' and I said at least til the (Fall in my case).' This was 2 years ago. I've never asked them over since. This is a neighborly 'friendship' you can do without.

My backyard is my oasis and I wouldn't want anything that creates stress, like it's doing for you.

+1

The crazy bold person above--- really?? Why should she have to? God-the self-entitlement! You don't go uninvited into people's backyards. It's called trespassing and in many states you could be shot for doing it.

Not the 'bolded climb the gate'. I was referring to the woman attacking OP for not saying more. Not everyone is a bitch and wants strife

not the pp to whom you are responding, But commonsense dictates if they're already violating boundaries then you need to be extremely direct and clear with them about what you do not want them to do. And what year are we living in, standing up for yourself doesn't make you a bitch makes you a grown ass woman.

This. People are so dependent on group support, that when they have to stand up and handle a negative situation all by themselves, they are too passive and prefer to rely on weak social cues instead. No wonder her neighbors keep coming back.

Really?? Why is the onus never on the uncouth assholes?

How about rude people have some class and manners?

People like OP described run through life crying how people are so mean.

To the other poster--teach your kid NOT to go in other people's yards. It's thar simple. Pick them up and remove them when they do and forcefully tell them this is not our yard/house. It's called teaching. It's how kids learn appropriate behaviors. Don't be a pansy and talk in a baby voice 'no sweetie'--half-assly all the while letting your kid call the shots. It's rude.

This. And passive-aggressively blaming the neighbor 'Mr. Smith doesn't want us back here' is f-d up. It's a law. It's private property. Teach your kids this.

+5000. I've lived in the DC area for a couple years and never cease to be amazed at some of the weird, awkward, antisocial behavior that seems to run strong around here.

Reminds me of when I moved here shortly after college and a 20something roommate in the group house I was living in let her strict, very old fashioned parents LIVE in our 6 person young professional/millennial house when they visited from out of town. First they overstayed their welcome for a long weekend (we said they could spend two nights and assumed it'd be a one time thing), then crashed again for over a WEEK while informing us on short notice without really giving us a choice that they'd be coming again... This was a lousy, angry, bossy roommate who no one really cared for anyway due to her lack of coping and social skills (only child and home taught too), and we had the displeasure of her folks not only sleeping overnight, but roaming around the house during the day (she gave them a spare key and some of us worked from home), making family dinners every night in our kitchen, even entertaining a family friend on a Saturday night in our dining room as roommates awkwardly steered around them. :-x

The lack of boundaries and social tact was appalling, and the parents never even thanked us, offered us food or money or directly communicated with me or the roommates. We realized this saved them $$ vs. a hotel...but the principal of encouraging your parents to chill out among your roomies while they go about their business on a weekend/drink, blast dance music, have loud sex upstairs etc...And when we had the nerve to tell them to stop this, she and her parents FLIPPED OUT at us and acted like we were the bad guys for implying that parents shouldn't be roaming around a shared house of young professionals. Especially when they don't pay rent or respect boundaries. Unreal...

Ok, you are a bitch.

No, not a biotch at all. I lived in a group house before. It was still my home - the place I went to unwind, chill out with people of my own generation. If I had wanted to share a place with parents I would saved my rent $ and stayed in my own parents' house. But I wanted my own place where I could have fun and be comfortable. I would not have appreciated a roommate who kept having her parents over for long weekends, week long stays, etc. In fact, I would have really resented the heck out of that.

I don't know, the behavior sounds unreasonable but you and the other pp sound even worse. You guys are the reason everybody complains about millennials.

So not appreciating someone's *unreasonable* behavior is..unreasonable in your view? Does that make any sense at all? Remember - pp didn't say that she DID anything other than put up with this roommate and her parents taking over their group house whenever they felt like doing it. She simply did not appreciate these *uninvited* house guests and I can not blame her. I'm 50 BTW..

[Anonymous]

This story doesn't sound right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a neighbor like this - just show up in the backyard. I told them 'I think we need to take a break from this for awhile.' To which they asked, 'how long' and I said at least til the (Fall in my case).' This was 2 years ago. I've never asked them over since. This is a neighborly 'friendship' you can do without.

My backyard is my oasis and I wouldn't want anything that creates stress, like it's doing for you.

+1

The crazy bold person above--- really?? Why should she have to? God-the self-entitlement! You don't go uninvited into people's backyards. It's called trespassing and in many states you could be shot for doing it.

Not the 'bolded climb the gate'. I was referring to the woman attacking OP for not saying more. Not everyone is a bitch and wants strife

not the pp to whom you are responding, But commonsense dictates if they're already violating boundaries then you need to be extremely direct and clear with them about what you do not want them to do. And what year are we living in, standing up for yourself doesn't make you a bitch makes you a grown ass woman.

This. People are so dependent on group support, that when they have to stand up and handle a negative situation all by themselves, they are too passive and prefer to rely on weak social cues instead. No wonder her neighbors keep coming back.

Really?? Why is the onus never on the uncouth assholes?

How about rude people have some class and manners?

People like OP described run through life crying how people are so mean.

To the other poster--teach your kid NOT to go in other people's yards. It's thar simple. Pick them up and remove them when they do and forcefully tell them this is not our yard/house. It's called teaching. It's how kids learn appropriate behaviors. Don't be a pansy and talk in a baby voice 'no sweetie'--half-assly all the while letting your kid call the shots. It's rude.

This. And passive-aggressively blaming the neighbor 'Mr. Smith doesn't want us back here' is f-d up. It's a law. It's private property. Teach your kids this.

+5000. I've lived in the DC area for a couple years and never cease to be amazed at some of the weird, awkward, antisocial behavior that seems to run strong around here.

Reminds me of when I moved here shortly after college and a 20something roommate in the group house I was living in let her strict, very old fashioned parents LIVE in our 6 person young professional/millennial house when they visited from out of town. First they overstayed their welcome for a long weekend (we said they could spend two nights and assumed it'd be a one time thing), then crashed again for over a WEEK while informing us on short notice without really giving us a choice that they'd be coming again... This was a lousy, angry, bossy roommate who no one really cared for anyway due to her lack of coping and social skills (only child and home taught too), and we had the displeasure of her folks not only sleeping overnight, but roaming around the house during the day (she gave them a spare key and some of us worked from home), making family dinners every night in our kitchen, even entertaining a family friend on a Saturday night in our dining room as roommates awkwardly steered around them. :-x

The lack of boundaries and social tact was appalling, and the parents never even thanked us, offered us food or money or directly communicated with me or the roommates. We realized this saved them $$ vs. a hotel...but the principal of encouraging your parents to chill out among your roomies while they go about their business on a weekend/drink, blast dance music, have loud sex upstairs etc...And when we had the nerve to tell them to stop this, she and her parents FLIPPED OUT at us and acted like we were the bad guys for implying that parents shouldn't be roaming around a shared house of young professionals. Especially when they don't pay rent or respect boundaries. Unreal...

Ok, you are a bitch.

Not the PP your quoting but you are delusional. If I had been PP, I'd have called the landlord. No f-Ing way would I have let that happen.

[Anonymous]

"Is there a reason you're in our backyard?"

"You should not be in our backyard"

[Anonymous]

Really, do not beat around the bush on this issue. You need to make it absolutely clear to these people that you will not tolerate them coming onto your property. If you have a husband, make him do it. Men do not generally feel the need to qualify or justify their requests like we do, and they don't feel guilty about it. Nor should they.

I've lived in a lot of different places, and I spent years living in fear of what the neighbors would think if I justifiably confronted them about their rude behavior. Trust me, these types of people are clueless and are impervious to insult. You figurately have to hit them over the head to get them to behave in a semi civilized manner.

You will feel so much better once you take care of this situation.

[Anonymous]

When Did hot tubs start being called "spas"? That is too hilarious. It's not a spa. A spa is a business you go to for massage, facials, treatments, etc...

A hot tub, is a hot tub. Really. Pretentious much?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't like labeling the neighbor. She doesn't have to be an awful person, be an idiot, be creepy or have autism. The family is just doing something that you don't like or want to have happen. I like the honest approach of trying to bet balize what you want and need. Say, I woukdnorefer that the kids not come over all the time unattended or without asking. Or I don't feel that itMs safe for them to be there an attended could you call first? Or you're kids are great but they come over a bit too much. Could we try to talk frost before they come over so I can say if it is a good time?


It doesn't have to be rude or hostile or make you a jerk. You just have to be calm, honest and straightforward about what you want. GL.

eh, the woman is being rude and presumptuous to walk into a neighbor's fenced in yard like that. At best she's pushy at worst she's trying to push Op's buttons. How would this woman like it of Op routinely bursted through her front door and headed straight to use the bathroom w/o even asking....

And Op better watch it or that's the next thing this woman will be doing. Nip it.

+1

I see you have been there, too. It is no fun. People like this make other people their 'sport". It is tiresome and predictable. But they don't like to be called out, that is for damn sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Really, do not beat around the bush on this issue. You need to make it absolutely clear to these people that you will not tolerate them coming onto your property. If you have a husband, make him do it. Men do not generally feel the need to qualify or justify their requests like we do, and they don't feel guilty about it. Nor should they.

I've lived in a lot of different places, and I spent years living in fear of what the neighbors would think if I justifiably confronted them about their rude behavior. Trust me, these types of people are clueless and are impervious to insult. You figurately have to hit them over the head to get them to behave in a semi civilized manner.

You will feel so much better once you take care of this situation.

+2

Add to that, they are very spiteful and have no regard for others, only themselves. They are the most important people in the neighborhood, in their mind. I feel very sorry (seriously) for OP having to be subjected to this at all, because you are damned if you do and damned if you don't. Cue self important terror neighbors here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lock on the gate.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When Did hot tubs start being called "spas"? That is too hilarious. It's not a spa. A spa is a business you go to for massage, facials, treatments, etc...

A hot tub, is a hot tub. Really. Pretentious much?

I have heard the terms "hot tub" and "spa" used interchangeably for years. It's not a new thing.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hot_tub

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When Did hot tubs start being called "spas"? That is too hilarious. It's not a spa. A spa is a business you go to for massage, facials, treatments, etc...

A hot tub, is a hot tub. Really. Pretentious much?

I have heard the terms "hot tub" and "spa" used interchangeably for years. It's not a new thing.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hot_tub

I am pretty sure spa is the term they use when the item is part of the Showcase Showdown.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When Did hot tubs start being called "spas"? That is too hilarious. It's not a spa. A spa is a business you go to for massage, facials, treatments, etc...

A hot tub, is a hot tub. Really. Pretentious much?

I have heard the terms "hot tub" and "spa" used interchangeably for years. It's not a new thing.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hot_tub

Agree. People only care when they don't have one; or if they have only seen old, ratty ones that have not been maintained. Otherwise, it is a non topic.