Neighbors always coming in our yard

[Anonymous]

We live in a very friendly neighborhood and love almost all of our neighbors.

However, we have one family that freely (without asking) is continually coming through our fence and hanging out in out backyard. I've glanced up from my kitchen and there one is looking at me from my back patio.

We do have a fence--doesn't matter. This is also a family that we are not as close to and they have never invited a single other family to their home. Conversely- they have been to quite a few events at our house which makes it even more annoying. Its been a few years too. I've never seen the inside of their house. They have never hosted and everyone else in the neighbirhoid routinely does.

My kid are much older--elementary school. They have an infant and toddler.

We just redid our entire backyard and it is very nice back there. If I am hanging out with my own kids --they'll just come through the gate and not leave.

I grew up in a house with a yard and the unspoken KNOWN rule is you don't go in other peoples yards (especially through a back fence) unless you are invited--or at the very least we are there. I am totally fine with kids retrieving balls, etc. my own kids friends will come over when they hear my kids and that's fine too.

But adults/families just using my yard like it's their own- not ok. We also have a fantastic neighbirhood park that is filled with kids their age yet they seem to never go there and prefer to use my yard for personal enjoyment.

So since they aren't listening--wtf do I do?

[Anonymous]

Lock on the gate.

[Anonymous]

The next tine they come over just pointedly and politely ask them "hi there. was there something you needed?"

When they say no say " oh. Ok. Well-good to see you. We're not really expecting company now. But Have a good weekend. ". And say. Nothing. Else. It will feel awkward. Don't flinch.

[Anonymous]

Honestly that's really creepy. If someone's sense of appropriate boundaries is so far off that they will come sit on your back patio without an invitation, then you either need to figure out how to lock your gates from the inside, or say something directly to the free-range neighbors. Or both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The next tine they come over just pointedly and politely ask them "hi there. was there something you needed?"

When they say no say " oh. Ok. Well-good to see you. We're not really expecting company now. But Have a good weekend. ". And say. Nothing. Else. It will feel awkward. Don't flinch.

Omg--I was stone-faced last night. Blatantly ignoring this person and she kept trying to insert her kid in my 10-year olds ge we were playing. We were out together and didn't want to stop active play to entertain a 1-year old when we out there and not the park to spend time together.

Very pushy people that take no social clues and ignore that I've said not comfortable with kid coming back there uninvited because we have an inground spa. Sbe already passively aggressively makes 'jokes' about how they can't go in it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lock on the gate.

+1. If they climb the gate or get in another way, follow 8:07's lead. Good luck! That would really bother me too.

[Anonymous]

This calls for lock on gate & heavy growth/tall shrubs as a privacy screen between your yard and neighbor's. Then just a simple wave & ignore/act like you don't see or hear them when they try too eat your attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly that's really creepy. If someone's sense of appropriate boundaries is so far off that they will come sit on your back patio without an invitation, then you either need to figure out how to lock your gates from the inside, or say something directly to the free-range neighbors. Or both.

Yes. I have pretty much said it but now I am going to have to be much blunter and direct. They aren't great friends so the fall out isn't a problem other than I foster no drama in my life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This calls for lock on gate & heavy growth/tall shrubs as a privacy screen between your yard and neighbor's. Then just a simple wave & ignore/act like you don't see or hear them when they try too eat your attention.

They aren't even next-door ones.

[Anonymous]

Omg, why are you using social cues and just hinting around? Just tell them they can't be in your yard without permission.

[Anonymous]

The thing about locked gate isn't always feasible because my kids and friends like to run around our whole house--front to back -/so due to their age it's always open at some point

[Anonymous]

That's so odd. I wonder if the parents have aspergers or something.

[Anonymous]

Another one who thinks this is so weird. Do they see you with other families? I think you just need to go out and ask them to leave and not come into the yard unless invited.

[Anonymous]

That's bizarre. Not normal. I think you should tell them to get out of your yard. No trespassing.

[Anonymous]

I would be very uncomfortable if some weird adult was hanging around in my yard uninvited while my kids were playing. That is not o.k.! And it doesn't matter that they have small children with them, it is still creepy and weird.