Neighbors always coming in our yard

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a neighbor like this - just show up in the backyard. I told them 'I think we need to take a break from this for awhile.' To which they asked, 'how long' and I said at least til the (Fall in my case).' This was 2 years ago. I've never asked them over since. This is a neighborly 'friendship' you can do without.

My backyard is my oasis and I wouldn't want anything that creates stress, like it's doing for you.

BINGO. These are not your friends. They don't watch their children, and are looking for free child care. WTH is that woman doing in her home, that she can't watch her own children???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg, why are you using social cues and just hinting around? Just tell them they can't be in your yard without permission.

+1

These people are dense, OP. I am so sorry to hear.

We had this in our neighborhood, too. There is a family that goes from neighbor to neighbor, until they wear them out! One neighbor notified me, while I was away, and told me that the needy neighbor was in my (fenced) backyard, using it while I was away - and by any chance, would I have given them permission (she knew I did not). Now the neighborhood looks out for the needy neighbor. She has one or two other needy neighbor friends, but the bulk are tired of stunts like this, for obvious reasons. The fact that the needy neighbors are tired of each other, and use each other for gossip, tells you something, in the case I describe.

Anyway, time to invest in some nice evergreens. And don't hesitate to say no to people like this. They don't operate like the rest of the world does, and I guarantee they are teaching their children that the rules apply to anyone but them.

I am mystified as to why these needy neighbors *need* to use their neighbor's back yards. What the heck is up with that? Why don't they use their own danged yards??

+10000

Because their parents are lazy, and probably too busy talking on the phone all day. My friend has a neighbor that talks on her phone all day on the deck. When the children are home, they are outside yelling for their mother, sometimes for hours, and the mother has not once come outside. My friend has to listen to that in her own home. I have heard it, it is awful. There's probably 7 of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly that's really creepy. If someone's sense of appropriate boundaries is so far off that they will come sit on your back patio without an invitation, then you either need to figure out how to lock your gates from the inside, or say something directly to the free-range neighbors. Or both.

Yes. I have pretty much said it but now I am going to have to be much blunter and direct. They aren't great friends so the fall out isn't a problem other than I foster no drama in my life.

In other words you haven't said anything. Be clear. Put up a no trespassing sign. Don't put a lock on.

[Anonymous]

What exactly are they doing back there? Using your grill? Weeding your garden? Do they have their own back yard?

[Anonymous]

I admit, I clicked on this just to make sure it wasn't my neighbors. My DD LOVES the next door neighbor kids (toddler/preschool age) and follows them around when they're outside, including into their yard. their kids are a bit too young to supervise her so it means I tag along as well. We got "oh yeah, sure, it's fine!" about a year ago when dd started walking, but I always wonder if it still is and try to look for signals and cut it short if I get any.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The next tine they come over just pointedly and politely ask them "hi there. was there something you needed?"

When they say no say " oh. Ok. Well-good to see you. We're not really expecting company now. But Have a good weekend. ". And say. Nothing. Else. It will feel awkward. Don't flinch.

This and the lock. How do their gigantic balls fit thru the gate anyway??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I admit, I clicked on this just to make sure it wasn't my neighbors. My DD LOVES the next door neighbor kids (toddler/preschool age) and follows them around when they're outside, including into their yard. their kids are a bit too young to supervise her so it means I tag along as well. We got "oh yeah, sure, it's fine!" about a year ago when dd started walking, but I always wonder if it still is and try to look for signals and cut it short if I get any.

Stop tagging along, and instead teach your daughter that she stops at the entrance to neighbor's yard. And you meet her at that point and bring her back to your yard. Invite the children she adores over to play in your backyard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a neighbor like this - just show up in the backyard. I told them 'I think we need to take a break from this for awhile.' To which they asked, 'how long' and I said at least til the (Fall in my case).' This was 2 years ago. I've never asked them over since. This is a neighborly 'friendship' you can do without.

My backyard is my oasis and I wouldn't want anything that creates stress, like it's doing for you.

+1

The crazy bold person above--- really?? Why should she have to? God-the self-entitlement! You don't go uninvited into people's backyards. It's called trespassing and in many states you could be shot for doing it.

Not the 'bolded climb the gate'. I was referring to the woman attacking OP for not saying more. Not everyone is a bitch and wants strife

not the pp to whom you are responding, But commonsense dictates if they're already violating boundaries then you need to be extremely direct and clear with them about what you do not want them to do. And what year are we living in, standing up for yourself doesn't make you a bitch makes you a grown ass woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I admit, I clicked on this just to make sure it wasn't my neighbors. My DD LOVES the next door neighbor kids (toddler/preschool age) and follows them around when they're outside, including into their yard. their kids are a bit too young to supervise her so it means I tag along as well. We got "oh yeah, sure, it's fine!" about a year ago when dd started walking, but I always wonder if it still is and try to look for signals and cut it short if I get any.

At least you make an effort to be a considerate human being about it. I would bet your DC might persist more and more, making it difficult for your neighbor. Just a heads up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I admit, I clicked on this just to make sure it wasn't my neighbors. My DD LOVES the next door neighbor kids (toddler/preschool age) and follows them around when they're outside, including into their yard. their kids are a bit too young to supervise her so it means I tag along as well. We got "oh yeah, sure, it's fine!" about a year ago when dd started walking, but I always wonder if it still is and try to look for signals and cut it short if I get any.

Stop tagging along, and instead teach your daughter that she stops at the entrance to neighbor's yard. And you meet her at that point and bring her back to your yard. Invite the children she adores over to play in your backyard.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The next tine they come over just pointedly and politely ask them "hi there. was there something you needed?"

When they say no say " oh. Ok. Well-good to see you. We're not really expecting company now. But Have a good weekend. ". And say. Nothing. Else. It will feel awkward. Don't flinch.

This and the lock. How do their gigantic balls fit thru the gate anyway??

OP, taller fence, stat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's so odd. I wonder if the parents have aspergers or something.

Why is Asperger's/ASD the go-to diagnosis on this board for anyone acting weird, not having manners, doing anything outside the poster's idea of normal? It is obnoxious.

Carry on.

Well, b/c these people are acting so far outside the social norms with no clue that it is abnormal. That is kind of a hallmark of spectrummy behavior.

[Anonymous]

It sounded like the adults and children were coming over and using OP's backyard like a public park, not just sending the kids over. Which is so weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I admit, I clicked on this just to make sure it wasn't my neighbors. My DD LOVES the next door neighbor kids (toddler/preschool age) and follows them around when they're outside, including into their yard. their kids are a bit too young to supervise her so it means I tag along as well. We got "oh yeah, sure, it's fine!" about a year ago when dd started walking, but I always wonder if it still is and try to look for signals and cut it short if I get any.

Stop tagging along, and instead teach your daughter that she stops at the entrance to neighbor's yard. And you meet her at that point and bring her back to your yard. Invite the children she adores over to play in your backyard.

Ugh. No. Please do not go to your neighbor's gate and lure her small children over to your yard. And don't send your small child into your neighbor's yard w/o asking first.

If you want the kids to get together arrange a play date with the other mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounded like the adults and children were coming over and using OP's backyard like a public park, not just sending the kids over. Which is so weird.

Yep. Lounging on Op's patio furniture uninvited. Weird. WEIRD.