Husband wants to send 5 year old to MILs for a week, but drug addict brother lives there. WWYD?

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't do it. My BIL and his long-term girlfriend are definitely addicted to pills. He's a nice guy, loves my DCs, they love him, but I told my MIL we would never stay in the same place as them on vacation because of it. I don't want DCs around them unsupervised but mostly I don't want DCs to accidentally find whatever it is the BIL is taking.

So we all still go to the beach together, but my family rents a separate (nearby) place to stay.

That's the long way to say I understand the position you are in. But I agree with PPs that this is not a situation to send your DD to for a week. It isn't just the addiction that bothers me (lots of people have addictions and we never know it). It's the bad judgment and that the BIL is living at home with no job. I distrust anyone who is content to l not work. I suspect he's still doing drugs and just doesn't want to be drug tested.

[Anonymous]

No way! He can have your compassion but not your kid.

[Anonymous]

Nope! I think it's too risky. I agree with PPs that the real concern here is potentially poor judgment on BIL's part since he is very early into his recovery or "supposed" sobriety as you yourself put it. Couldn't you just pay for a hotel room or somewhere for grandma to stay so she could come visit with your daughter at your house for a week?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he were addicted to crack or meth I'd say no, but prescription painkillers (while a terrible thing to be addicted to), isn't quite as likely to be a danger to your five year old. That said, I would want to make sure your MIL understands your concerns and promises to stay with your kid at all times and not let him go off alone with the brother.

But what if kids gets curious about the candy his uncle keeps eating ?

Don't worry! MIL, who lives in denial and thinks everything is peachy, is on top of it! She'll make sure that doesn't happen. Except when she's sleeping, cooking, eating, watching tv, walking the dog, on the phone...

[Anonymous]

Are you kidding me? I really hope this is just a fake post because if its not, you need to have your head examined. You would really send your vulnerable, defenseless 5 year old to stay in a house with a drug addict whose only been sober for 3 months? And for a whole week at that???

Assuming he has been clean for 3 months (and that's a big assumption), thats really not that long and relapses are quite common with addition. If he's still using then there is no telling what your child may be exposed to during that week...and if you think that grandma will step in to protect your child from whatever toxic behavior he may be exposed to then you're delusional. She may love her grandson, but she loves her son too. She's known him a lot longer, is prob desensitized by his habits and she's used to enabling/protecting him...after all, she's letting him live in her house, with no job and he's 35 years old...that says a lot.

And as for that husband...I would tell him to kiss my grits. He can stay mad for as long as he wants, but no threat of anger or hostility would scare me into putting my child at risk. I would find a drop in daycare center, spring break camp or another parent to help out for 2-3 days and maybe try to take 1-2 sick days to cover the full week.

Good luck

[Anonymous]

Just reading this. Absolutely not. Would not allow this on my watch. You are responsible for protecting this child. Period.

[Anonymous]

OP can't be serious. No way would I send my 5 year old.