Husband wants to send 5 year old to MILs for a week, but drug addict brother lives there. WWYD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NO!
Main reason is that DH and MIL seem more vested in protecting BIL than realistically dealing with and not enabling the addiction.
So Hell No!

Exactly! They're enablers who have built a rosy existence on denial. Mil won't see abuse in front of her eyes if it means she has to confront Bil. You know this.

[Anonymous]

Hell no. I'd invite the MIL here for a week. I'm not putting my kids into a house with anyone who abuses drugs in any way.

[Anonymous]

Have MIL come to you. Would not send my 5 year old to a situation like that. But, I think you already know the answer. I hope you do the right thing.

[Anonymous]

No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would send the five year old. Its only a week. Also, just make sure to tell grandmother not to leave child alone with him if it really bothers you

-100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Half or more of the posters here are addicted to pain killers, assorted pharmaceuticals, liquor, their spouses are the same, smoke weed regularly yet are raising kids. They have the gall to even call non users prudes.

Trust your instinct and don't hold BIL against your MIL. If you love and trust her then let your child go for the week.

Uh huh. Yeah, right.

This advice is insane.

[Anonymous]

HELL NO. Have MIL come to you for the week. No way would I leave my vulnerable 5 yr old in that situation.

[Anonymous]

Can you trust the grandmother never to leave your DC alone with the brother? If not, I would not do it.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not. Desperate people will do desperate things to get the money for drugs, including to their own families. He's already stolen money from his mother. This needs to be a supervised visit or you could fly your MIL to your house instead.

[Anonymous]

No way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The brother is 35, living at home with no job. Supposedly sober for three months, addicted to prescription painkillers. Last time he fell off the wagon he cleaned out his grandmother's bank account on the day of her funeral. On the other hand, can I deny my kid a relationship with her grandmother, who is a lovely woman? I can't take the week off, nor can my husband. DH is very loyal and protective of his brother, and will defend him and say nothing bad will happen and that he is doing his best to stay clean and he deserves our compassion, not judgement. If I fight this it is going to get ugly. WWYD?

You can give compassion without putting your child into a situation you think has more downside than benefits.

[Anonymous]

Daughter of an alcoholic father here.

I would let some time pass before I'd allow my young child alone with a former addict and presumably, his enabler.

MIL visits with you, at your house.

[Anonymous]

Nope. Too risky for too many things. Not saying your brother in law would do anything wrong. I don't know him at all. But in every case of child molestation I've known personally, the abusers were drug or alcohol abusers too.

[Anonymous]

No. Absolutely not. Child's welfare comes first, period.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not.