DD wants to be a nanny

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: There is no advancement, nithing to really shoot for, and it can be tedious after a time. I'm finishing up school now and cannot wait to be finished nannying.

I have hired three nannies, and I had one growing up.

The one I had growing up was older--a very highly educated immigrant who, in her new country, after a war and political crazy-shit that threw her life into chaos, was not able to find a professional career in her new country. So she came to work for my parents. Who LOVED her and had a great deal in common with her. Wonderful nanny, but it was not her first career choice.

The first nanny we hired was also older and mature--in her 50s. Wonderful woman, also an immigrant, with two growing up children of her own, who were going to college. Divorce landed her life in chaos. She nannied to survive. She was amazing at it, but honestly didn't really have any other career options.

The other two we hired were younger women. Both college graduates. One came from a very financially secure family who was able to bouy her economically. She also had a boyfriend in the tech industry. Loving young woman. No professional ambition beyond nannying, and I have to say, she was great at it. But I also kept prompting her about the "next phase" of her life. Nanny forever? She seemed happy.

The other younger nanny we hired was more academically successful, went to a "name" university, etc. She was religiously conservative. Her aspiration was to be a good mom. She got married while nannying for us. She was a great nanny, and is now mom to her own little person. Very organized, collected, socially graceful. Happy and good with our kids. Ran the house for us while we were busy at work 8-4pm.

NONE of the nannies earned more than $19/hour. No health care from us. Days were long. I don't think they would ever get more than $25/hour simply because people cannot afford to pay that much, no matter how good you are. The best we could hope for was that they would feel we offered a great working environment and relationship and therefore would choose to stay. But I also told them point-blank, that if a better offer came along, I wouldn't blame them at all for going for it--they have lives too, after all.

In sum: Not a profession I'd pursue as my "first course" of nannying. HOWEVER, it might be a good thing to do as sort of an au-pair situation before going to college. The au pairs our neighbors had from Sweden have been incredible. Smart, gregarious, good with kids, and easily engage with our professional family block of homes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would tell her college or she needs to 100% support herself, including housing, food, car, health insurance. Do a budget and show her expenses vs. salary and why a degree is a good idea. I would absolutely play hardball with college.

Hell yes.

[Anonymous]

OP, I wholeheartedly agree with you on this.

I currently work as a nanny, but I am older and my own children are already grown. I do this part-time and this is not my sole source of income.

If my daughter were to tell me she wanted to skip college in lieu of becoming a nanny, I would flip.

While I never look down on any person for what they do, and I truly believe there is dignity in ALL work, there really is not future in being a nanny as a career per say.

You can never advance in your career, and there are few if any job benefits.

Sometimes the pay is good, other times not so much. It all depends on luck basically along with your timing.

The majority of the families who employ nannies tend to take advantage of them and treat them like the "hired help." They over work them and under-pay them. They give them long hours and do not pay overtime.

My gut is telling me that your daughter is still young and this is just a phase she is going through.

I say let her work as a nanny while attending college so she can get it "out of her system." Trust me, once she realized just how tough caring for kids is, she will realize that she will need to get a formal degree if she ever wants to get an actual career.

Sometimes kids need to learn on their own. Trust me....I was one of those stubborn ones myself growing up.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, it sounds like maybe your daughter is having some anxiety about college now that it's almost a reality. Totally normal for some kids to go through this, and this might well be influencing her decision to be a nanny instead. If she's wanted college all along before this can she accept one of her college admission offers on the condition of a gap year? She may think she won't want to go to college, but she could easily change her mind once she's nannied for several months. ALso, if she sees so many of her friends from HS off to college this could influence her too. I'd buy some time and try to hedge my bets.

+1 Definitely sounds like anxiety.

I think many kids can benefit from a gap year to get perspective. And, some experience in a dead-end job can also be valuable. It was for both my dad and DH...Dad grew up on a farm in an area where very few went to college. He expected to stay in town and work but a couple stretches working in the local canning factory gave him the motivation to join the army so he could get out of town and learn something new. Ended up training in electronics, eventually went to college and ended up in sr. management. DH comes from working class family where college is not expected so he was on the vocational track in HS. Ended up work at TV repair shop but that got him interested in how things were built and so he applied to college, majored in engineering and has had a successful career in IT. Neither are particularly academically inclined (yes, in a lot of ways I married my dad ) so it's likely if someone had made them go to college straight from high-school they'd have dropped out and decided college was not for them rather than getting to a point where they could see it as something that could help them toward their own goals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would tell her college or she needs to 100% support herself, including housing, food, car, health insurance. Do a budget and show her expenses vs. salary and why a degree is a good idea. I would absolutely play hardball with college.

Hell yes.

I think that this is an outstanding strategy to use, if your goal is to alienate your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

if your kid wants to be a plumber they go to college? That's silly

Education is valuable. College is valuable.

My first professional job out of college didn't require a college degree.
But my second did.
I would never have gotten the advancement, the second job in the same field without a college degree.

But plumbing is not a profession. It's a trade. You actually have to know how to plumb.

+1 A bunch of my cousins are electricians. They all completed apprenticeships -- which take several years and require a lot of dedication. Trade school IS an education, a practical education that provides a valuable skill. My cousins have all been very successful financially and happy in their jobs. A couple are now in sr. management positions in their electrical contracting companies, without having a college degree.

I'm of the mind that you have to do SOME kind of advanced schooling or training after HS. No arguments. But I also have a master electrician in my family (did I think the school and apprenticeship and then has been working for about 18 years (he's around 40)- I have both BA and MPA and you should see the difference in our homes, his is ridiculously huge.
But more importantly, he seems to really dig his work, when he talks about his challenging jobs you can tell he's happy and proud. Worth SO much.

[Anonymous]

She shouldn't do a "gap year". Tell her she has to go to college, I think you can fulfill requirements for a degree for at least a year (maybe two) without declaring a major yet.

Honestly, if I were you, I would call the mom of the babysitting family and have a long talk. Find out what is going on. Are they encouraging this? Or was this your daughter's idea? Tell the mom that you want her on your side, that your daughter needs to go to college! They might not even want to hire your daughter for this.

I haven't been a nanny, but I am a mom. Any mom knows that babysitting older children is nothing like caring for a newborn. Your daughter might have really easy charges right now, does she realize not all charges are easy to take care of?

[Anonymous]

OP again,

Not sure if babysitting actually wants her as the newborn nanny or if she offered or what?

Which is another issue DD is very responsible, but has never cared for a baby, never mind a newborn .

She's agreed to go to lunch and spa with me tomorrow. Not going to bring up college or being a nanny unless she wants to talk about.

I'm thinking she needs to decompress a bit.

[Anonymous]

Sorry for not reading every post,
But is OP funding college 100%?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You can be offended all day young lady. I'm not here to appease the daydreams of an internet millenial who has it all figured out based on a degree she has yet to earn and a job she does not have.

I suspect these peers you think you are superior to are 3 of your friends with no direction or job / career planning skills.

You have 5 years work experience as a nanny. If you wanted to be a nanny that is great. There are day cares that do not credit nanny experience and that is an analogous field. Your 5 years as a nanny is not 5 years as a nurse, teacher, lab tech, dentist etc that those in your age bracket have of on the job experience. You are starting 5 years back. You can believe all you want employers don't notice this, but they do.
You are delusional if you think you are the only one in your age range who makes more than $30k and knows how to negotiate many make more than $30k.
Finish your degree, Land the job and then come back and tell how you have it all figured out and are far superior to your peers.

This thread is about OP's daughter, who is thinking about being a nanny next year instead of going to college. It is not about your opinions about education and the job market. So could you please stop making it be about your opinions about education and the job market?

Are you serious? She can say what she wants.

[Anonymous]

I've only looked at the first page of replies, but wanted to chime in that the market and pay scale for colleges-educated nannies is much better (at least on the west coast--I don't know about out here because I don't have one anymore). Where I used to live, the majority of nannies were recent immigrants from Mexico, Central and South America, and in general they did not have a high school education. So if a nanny came along that could, say, assist with even 2nd or 3rd grade homework or spelling/vocab, they were in high demand. A college degree--in anything--would pave the way for a higher salary.

[Anonymous]

OP, haven't read the whole thread, sorry -- but is it possible she wants to be a nanny for this family because she loves the kid she is babysitting for and is worried that she will miss him and will not see him again if they hire a new nanny?

Also, has she thought about college with a gap year in the middle to work as an au pair?

[Anonymous]

I didn't read the responses, but I am a 25 y/o nanny and I agree that education is important. I always knew I wanted to nanny or work with kids in some capacity. I got my BA in child psychology and have been nannying full time for five years.

I work 50 hours a week, make 50k, will have all my loans paid off (65k) by this summer, and have great benefits. I get three weeks paid vacation, 9 holidays, 5 sick days, and a contribution to my health insurance.

However, nannies with similar jobs and experience, but no degree are making around 35k without contribution to insurance. Parents will pay for highly qualified and educated nannies, but in my experience the degree makes a world of difference.

Nannying is a great gateway to other child related careers- doulas, newborn care specialist, sleep consultants, pediatric nutrition specialist, house manager, nanny agency owner, home daycare owner, etc.

[Anonymous]

Let her take a gap year. Try to defer the acceptances.

[Anonymous]

Let her be a nanny if she wants to be a nanny. Chances are after a year or two she will become burnt out and decide to go back to school. Going straight into school after you graduate isn't always the best thing, having the chance to live on her own in the real world will help her decide what major is best for her. Even if she does decide she loves being a nanny and wants to do it long term, wouldn't you just be happy that she's happy? So many people hate their jobs, give her a chance to figure out what she wants to do.