DD wants to be a nanny

[Anonymous]

Tell her she can be a nanny but she has to get her college degree first (only if you're paying). If she wants to nanny instead of going to college then tell her that she will have to support herself.

Agreed

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Nobody thinks the gap year will backfire? Nannies make good money compared to peers at 18-25. But their potential for advancement and higher salary dead ends.

At which point the OP's sensible, level-headed daughter will realize that she needs to go to college. This is also the experience of the nannies who have posted on this thread.

The barrier of going to college in your mid-20s just to get a bachelors is much harder to overcome than just doing it while you have the momentum at 18. I have a friend who got a job as a secretary right out of school making 40k when the rest of us were making 25k and she is still a secretary 20 years later.

I'm the earlier nanny poster. I actually did start college with my peers. I was unfocused and unmotivated, lost my scholarship, and screwed up my GPA. I have since transferred schools and changed majors. I agree that there is a slight loss of momentum, but now in my mid 20's I can really understand WHY I need to do this, how expensive it really is, and I will graduate this spring with a 4.0 (at my new school), very little debt, and enough in my savings to buy a home. I am looking at a pay-cut as a make the switch out of nannying, which is hard to swallow, but overall I'm in a much better position than most of my peers. They are up to their eye balls in student loans, have very little work experience, no savings, and they're making the same $30k I will be when I switch careers.

Again it's about management and decision making. I can think of 5 people right of the bat that are probably your age 24 to 30 with very little student loan debt, decent savings, have or are planning to buy a home in the future with salaries that are above your $30k and they have something you do not have 2 to 5 years on the job experience something that is very valuable in
today's job market. All work experience is not the same.

I said I will be making $30k when I get out of nannying. I make significantly more than that now. I also have 5 years of work experience, and while you might not value it, I've gained a lot of skills that take much longer to learn in an office. Your attitude is a bit offensive. This industry works very well for a lot of people, and not everyone defines success in the same manner.

You can be offended all day young lady. I'm not here to appease the daydreams of an internet millenial who has it all figured out based on a degree she has yet to earn and a job she does not have.

I suspect these peers you think you are superior to are 3 of your friends with no direction or job / career planning skills.

You have 5 years work experience as a nanny. If you wanted to be a nanny that is great. There are day cares that do not credit nanny experience and that is an analogous field. Your 5 years as a nanny is not 5 years as a nurse, teacher, lab tech, dentist etc that those in your age bracket have of on the job experience. You are starting 5 years back. You can believe all you want employers don't notice this, but they do.
You are delusional if you think you are the only one in your age range who makes more than $30k and knows how to negotiate many make more than $30k.
Finish your degree, Land the job and then come back and tell how you have it all figured out and are far superior to your peers.

I never claimed to have everything figured out. I said that spending time as a nanny would not be the worst thing in the world for OPs DD. One thing I have figured out is how to be compassionate and to speak kindly to others. Even you, in your infinite wisdom, do not have everything figured out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"All of the posters" ~ yes, add me to that group.

Op, what are her college choices?
Why doesn't she want to go?

I don't think you should tell her what to study.

In our family, kids go to college - even if they want a blue-collar career.

They might not learn anything there, and they might hate every minute of it, but by gosh, they go!

[Anonymous]

HS seniors have to have college choices that they want to go to.

It's really hard to imagine that she doesn't want to go away to college (the best 4 years of most people's life with Mom & Dad paying)

Maybe she's been demoralized by the whole college application process?

[Anonymous]

Have her pick a college, defer for a year and re-visit in 6 months. I'm guessing she knows perfectly well your feeling about college. Let her know they will not change. In this area, there are kids going to college that are outside the traditional ages we know (18/19-22/24)

I do think within 5-7 years there will be many more avenues for getting a college degree with a combo of online and bricks and mortar, depending on the major. Something to consider as well.

Given the crazy ways tech is going to be impacting lots of jobs - think robotics, I think there will be many formerly college bound kids opting for different routes. Who knows, in 25 years, there may be a premium paid by the 1% for having a human help them rather than a robot!

[Anonymous]

Sorry I skimmed, but is it possible tge family your daughter works for have developed an emotional relationship and are inadvertainly making her feel obligated to them and their new baby? Young adults have such few experiences to shape their visions of their future. Has your daughter experienced a sleep away camp at a college so she could better visualize herself in that scenerio? You could let her take a gap year to explore some programs that involve seeing more of the world and more topics. You could let her do a gap year to be a nanny also. Neither of these waste an acceptence, just postpones it a bit.

[Anonymous]

This family (family she's babysitting for) may not have her best interests in mind. They have a babysitter. They want the nanny situation nailed down.

Maybe

Though I can't imagine anyone would discourage a high school graduate from attending college.

Another thought ~ really, your daughter may be trying to get a rise out-of-you. Deer-in-the-headlights kind of thing. Lots of students, at all academic levels "freak-out" a bit over the college decision this time of year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't recommend pushing DD into college if she isn't sure she wants to go. If she were to go begrudgingly and drop out, it's a lot of money wasted.

I agree with PPs who suggested she support herself and do the nanny thing first to test the waters. The odds are good that she may get burnt out doing it (I did) and then the idea of going to college would seem like a breath of fresh air.

PP here. I would also suggest your daughter read up on what it's like to be a FT nanny as well, especially if she's thinking of a living-in arrangement.

Nannying can be a great experience, but it's also highly dependent on the family she'd work with and her personality. I think a lot of girls look at nannying and think, "I love working with kids - this would be great!" but they underestimate other things that come into play in this line of work. When I was a live-in nanny I loved working with the kids, but I found myself really enmeshed in the family and their problems. I am the kind of person who is easily affected by my environment, and I found it really hard to not get caught up in their family drama (and believe me, there was lots of drama going on with them). I miss the kids I work with but I would never want to go back to doing that sort of job. I needed clearer boundaries between my work life and personal life.

[Anonymous]

Gap year only if accepted to college and defer.

[Anonymous]

I agree this probably is a combination of desperate greedy parents not wanting to lose their cheap labor and a child afraid to be sent away to do something she's already been doing since the age of five. You need to visit colleges and get her thinking what that's like. You need to tell her she must get another job before she decides what her future will be. Even a job at a burger joint will at least get her out from under the other family's influence. Make her volunteer at the hospital if she really has a nurturing streak then at least nursing could be a career.

[Anonymous]

This is interesting to me.
12 years ago I was your daughter.
I was the bright student, top 20 in my class, had my pick of colleges, never gave my parents any trouble, but I had no idea what I wanted to be .
I went to college because it was expected of me, picked a major because it was expected of me. I did graduate college in a STEM field, but just barely. I burnt myself out in the process. Got a job in the field, but didn't last. I have spent the last 7 years floating. I now work as a nanny. It's okay. Most of the time I enjoy the kids, the families I work for are nice, and they pay is good. But it is a rough field as others have mentioned benefits are hard to come by and it basically there is no upward movement. I want to move on, but I'm currently stuck. At 30 I am just now figuring out what I want to be .
I wish someone had told me back then to take a year or 2 to focus myself, and maybe I wouldn't be in debt and trying to find a way to get certified so my degree isn't useless and get out of my rut.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the idea of a gap year working & supporting herself as a nanny, with the option of going to college after that year if she decides a career in nannying isn't for her, after all. I would encourage her, however, to take a class or two at the local community college in the evenings after work during this year. The longer one's out of school & no longer in the habit of studying, writing papers, taking tests, etc., the more daunting the idea of returning to school can be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"All of the posters" ~ yes, add me to that group.

Op, what are her college choices?
Why doesn't she want to go?

I don't think you should tell her what to study.

In our family, kids go to college - even if they want a blue-collar career.

So, if your kid wants to be a plumber they go to college? That's silly - they should be in an apprenticeship program for the trade they want to pursue. I would have no problem with my kid wanting to do that kind of job and getting the appropriate training for it in lieu of college. I also think a gap year can be valuable for many kids. A chance to step off the academic treadmill, see what it's like to work with just a HS diploma (not great!) and find more motivation to be successful in college.

My kids know they will need some further education after high school but I'm not going to dictate what that is specifically, although my financial support will be limited to what we can afford.

[Anonymous]

if your kid wants to be a plumber they go to college? That's silly

Education is valuable. College is valuable.

[Anonymous]

if your kid wants to be a plumber they go to college? That's silly


Education is valuable. College is valuable.

My first professional job out of college didn't require a college degree.
But my second did.
I would never have gotten the advancement, the second job in the same field without a college degree.