DD wants to be a nanny

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody thinks the gap year will backfire? Nannies make good money compared to peers at 18-25. But their potential for advancement and higher salary dead ends.

At which point the OP's sensible, level-headed daughter will realize that she needs to go to college. This is also the experience of the nannies who have posted on this thread.

The barrier of going to college in your mid-20s just to get a bachelors is much harder to overcome than just doing it while you have the momentum at 18. I have a friend who got a job as a secretary right out of school making 40k when the rest of us were making 25k and she is still a secretary 20 years later.

I'm the earlier nanny poster. I actually did start college with my peers. I was unfocused and unmotivated, lost my scholarship, and screwed up my GPA. I have since transferred schools and changed majors. I agree that there is a slight loss of momentum, but now in my mid 20's I can really understand WHY I need to do this, how expensive it really is, and I will graduate this spring with a 4.0 (at my new school), very little debt, and enough in my savings to buy a home. I am looking at a pay-cut as a make the switch out of nannying, which is hard to swallow, but overall I'm in a much better position than most of my peers. They are up to their eye balls in student loans, have very little work experience, no savings, and they're making the same $30k I will be when I switch careers.

Again it's about management and decision making. I can think of 5 people right of the bat that are probably your age 24 to 30 with very little student loan debt, decent savings, have or are planning to buy a home in the future with salaries that are above your $30k and they have something you do not have 2 to 5 years on the job experience something that is very valuable in
today's job market. All work experience is not the same.

Do you know if all these people had a significant amount of student loan debt to begin with? It's a lot easier to be financially secure at 24-30 if your parents paid for all or most of your schooling!

Also, you're correct that not all work experience is the same. What kind of work experience employers are impressed by varies greatly, however, depending on the job one is applying for. If one is pursing a career that involves working with children &/or developmental psychology, for instance, having worked as a nanny may very well be valued over having worked in a law firm or at a bank.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

if your kid wants to be a plumber they go to college? That's silly

Education is valuable. College is valuable.

College also costs an awful lot of money, while not providing the training a person needs to become a plumber.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

if your kid wants to be a plumber they go to college? That's silly

Education is valuable. College is valuable.

My first professional job out of college didn't require a college degree.
But my second did.
I would never have gotten the advancement, the second job in the same field without a college degree.

But plumbing is not a profession. It's a trade. You actually have to know how to plumb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

if your kid wants to be a plumber they go to college? That's silly

Education is valuable. College is valuable.

My first professional job out of college didn't require a college degree.
But my second did.
I would never have gotten the advancement, the second job in the same field without a college degree.

But plumbing is not a profession. It's a trade. You actually have to know how to plumb.

+1 A bunch of my cousins are electricians. They all completed apprenticeships -- which take several years and require a lot of dedication. Trade school IS an education, a practical education that provides a valuable skill. My cousins have all been very successful financially and happy in their jobs. A couple are now in sr. management positions in their electrical contracting companies, without having a college degree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

if your kid wants to be a plumber they go to college? That's silly

Education is valuable. College is valuable.

I think a lot depends on finances. The view that everybody should go to college regardless of whether or not they plan on ever using their degrees is a very privileged one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

if your kid wants to be a plumber they go to college? That's silly

Education is valuable. College is valuable.

I think a lot depends on finances. The view that everybody should go to college regardless of whether or not they plan on ever using their degrees is a very privileged one.

+1

Sending one's kids to college just so they can be "well-educated" is the domain of the wealthy.

Few parents are going to sacrifice & struggle to put their kids through college -- &/or encourage their kids to incur large amounts of student loan debt-- just so the kids can get a degree they have no intention of ever using.

[Anonymous]

Yes it is a privileged view.

[Anonymous]

That's why the opportunity for college shouldn't be thrown away - without a lot of thought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's why the opportunity for college shouldn't be thrown away - without a lot of thought.

Nobody is throwing away the opportunity for college. It's not as though you either go to college straight after high school, or you never go at all.

[Anonymous]

OP - I scanned this thread and agree with the idea of sitting your daughter down and coming up with a plan of a gap year to be a full-time Nanny with the proviso that she will be supporting herself, including having no access to a family car owned by you and that in one year you would still be willing to pay for college on the same terms as now. ***I would, however, ask her to draft a response letter with your review stating you wished to put off your acceptance to XYZ college for one year. If possible let her do this for a couple of schools so she will still have a choice. The point is that you want her to know that she has options on higher education that she applied to. And, if in a year she still wants to continue, maybe then you can present the point of part-time college in the field of early childhood education or similar area. Just remember all the parents who will send their teens off to college in September only to see them flounder in various ways and end up coming home.

[Anonymous]

OP here again- thank you all for the advice and personal stories.

I do not want to force her into a career, but I do want her to have a career that is viable and gives her many options.

Until now she has always expressed interest in going to college. When she was applying for schools she was excited and talked about becoming and engineer or majoring in math.

Acceptances start coming in and she's a little less excited and now she wants to be a nanny.

I told her she doesn't need to be a STEM major she loves music as well even education but no.

I honestly don't understand, and at the moment she has shut down about school.
I don't even know if the family she is sitting for has made her a formal offer.

I do not want to kick her out and trying to convince DH of the same. I'd be okay with her living with us for a year as long as she is working full time and then we could revisit things.
I don't want to push too hard. I'm trying to understand, but I also don't want her to turn into her my SIL who in my opinion wasn't pushed enough and at 30 something is still living with her family without a career that has potential for growth.

[Anonymous]

OP, it sounds like maybe your daughter is having some anxiety about college now that it's almost a reality. Totally normal for some kids to go through this, and this might well be influencing her decision to be a nanny instead. If she's wanted college all along before this can she accept one of her college admission offers on the condition of a gap year? She may think she won't want to go to college, but she could easily change her mind once she's nannied for several months. ALso, if she sees so many of her friends from HS off to college this could influence her too. I'd buy some time and try to hedge my bets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, it sounds like maybe your daughter is having some anxiety about college now that it's almost a reality. Totally normal for some kids to go through this, and this might well be influencing her decision to be a nanny instead. If she's wanted college all along before this can she accept one of her college admission offers on the condition of a gap year? She may think she won't want to go to college, but she could easily change her mind once she's nannied for several months. ALso, if she sees so many of her friends from HS off to college this could influence her too. I'd buy some time and try to hedge my bets.

Same PP -- just another thought... Could your emphasis on her having a STEM career be part of the problem? While STEM certainly offers a lot of stable career options it's not the only way to be a success after college. If your DD senses you are pushing STEM and she's not interested, and if she's aware you view a relative as a disappointment in the career department, I wonder if shying away from college is her way of opting out of what she perceives as pressure? Just something to think about anyway.

[Anonymous]

don't argue with her. If that is what makes her happy, you should be happy. She has an entire life to choose. Try, reject. Relax. it is not your life to live

[Anonymous]

There are "nanny colleges" out there. Perhaps she can look into those?

I am a career nanny. I have been a nanny for over 18 years and I started out in colleges getting my degree in elementary education. After I got a BA in psychology, among certifications and such related to being a nanny (newborn care specialist training, car seat safety training, baby massage certified, etc I won't say how much I make but it is well over $125,000 per year. It took some time to find the right fit in families. For the past 12 years I have worked with high profile families. I just ended a 5 years contract with a family who spends 90% of the year in Europe. I've traveled the whole world (with work and my own).
I'm taking 3 months off to travel right now, unless I find my next family.
I love my life!!! I'm so glad I decided this life.