DD wants to be a nanny

[Anonymous]

Please do not force your daughter to go to college and study something she's not interested in, no matter how brilliant she might be.

My own father heavily pressured me to study engineering at a top school, and I tried, for him. I got accepted, and made it through the first semester before I dropped out with terrible grades, health problems, major depression, and resentment towards him for "making" me choose that path.

I got my plans back together to choose something that I actually wanted to do, and chose a career that he has expressed disappointment in (he's mentioned that I can always go to grad school if I decide I want to get back on a better track).

Our relationship has been really strained since that time, and that was 10+ years ago. Trust your daughter to be level headed, help her get all the information she needs to make an educated decision (how to get health insurance, pay rent, car insurance, budget, etc), and then let her know that the money for college will sit there untouched if she decides to go to college (or xx years from now if you want to put a limit on it).

It's 100% okay for her to have to struggle a little bit and make a different choice than you would have. If she's a good kid, she'll find a way to make it work, with or without the degree you wish she'd had at 18-22.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody thinks the gap year will backfire? Nannies make good money compared to peers at 18-25. But their potential for advancement and higher salary dead ends.

At which point the OP's sensible, level-headed daughter will realize that she needs to go to college. This is also the experience of the nannies who have posted on this thread.

The barrier of going to college in your mid-20s just to get a bachelors is much harder to overcome than just doing it while you have the momentum at 18. I have a friend who got a job as a secretary right out of school making 40k when the rest of us were making 25k and she is still a secretary 20 years later.

I'm a legal secretary. I earn $76k a year, give or take a little depending on overtime. My cousin has a masters degree and is a reporter, earning 10 grand less than me. My other cousin has a masters and is a teacher, also earning less than me. So being an educated person is great, sure, but formal education is not everything. They are 40 and 43, and both have student loans. I have no student loans.

It's also how you manage your degree and your money. It seems like your cousins managed poorly.

[Anonymous]

She will make a lot more money and garner a lot more respect if she gets a college degree in Early Childhood Education. The nanny field is getting more and more competitive now and the big money and good jobs are going to the nannies with education and experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody thinks the gap year will backfire? Nannies make good money compared to peers at 18-25. But their potential for advancement and higher salary dead ends.

At which point the OP's sensible, level-headed daughter will realize that she needs to go to college. This is also the experience of the nannies who have posted on this thread.

The barrier of going to college in your mid-20s just to get a bachelors is much harder to overcome than just doing it while you have the momentum at 18. I have a friend who got a job as a secretary right out of school making 40k when the rest of us were making 25k and she is still a secretary 20 years later.

I'm the earlier nanny poster. I actually did start college with my peers. I was unfocused and unmotivated, lost my scholarship, and screwed up my GPA. I have since transferred schools and changed majors. I agree that there is a slight loss of momentum, but now in my mid 20's I can really understand WHY I need to do this, how expensive it really is, and I will graduate this spring with a 4.0 (at my new school), very little debt, and enough in my savings to buy a home. I am looking at a pay-cut as a make the switch out of nannying, which is hard to swallow, but overall I'm in a much better position than most of my peers. They are up to their eye balls in student loans, have very little work experience, no savings, and they're making the same $30k I will be when I switch careers.

Again it's about management and decision making. I can think of 5 people right of the bat that are probably your age 24 to 30 with very little student loan debt, decent savings, have or are planning to buy a home in the future with salaries that are above your $30k and they have something you do not have 2 to 5 years on the job experience something that is very valuable in
today's job market. All work experience is not the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She will make a lot more money and garner a lot more respect if she gets a college degree in Early Childhood Education. The nanny field is getting more and more competitive now and the big money and good jobs are going to the nannies with education and experience.

OP suggested she get an education degree, but she doesn't want to do that.
Honestly, I would be pissed off at the family she babysits for. Without a doubt they are educated professionals making enough money to hire a nanny and they offer their sitter who they know is college bound a full time job as their newborn nanny.
If this was my kid they would be hearing from me loud and clear. I'd also bet that in the future they would be pissed off if someone tried to pull that stunt with their kid.

OP if your daughter wants to be an adult let her. If she wants to be a nanny great, but she should no opportunities don't last forever. Her college acceptances will not last for ever. For most schools at the very most you can defer the offer for a year. I think that should be the same offer you and your husband make her. She has a year otherwise you paying for her is off the table. She can take that year save a little money, but she she needs to be focusing herself.
She can save and pay for it on her own. She also needs to move out. It's full time school and part time job or part time school and full time job . There is no I'm going to take a job but not pay for anything. Nope she can take that fabulous nanny salary and pay for an apartment , her groceries, her hair, nails, and car etc.
I love all these people coming in her saying I had a degree and it got me nothing that's because you didn't use your degree wisely. Those that do fair better. Facts.

[Anonymous]

Is she positive that the family wants to hire her as a full time nanny once the baby is born? Hiring someone as a part-time babysitter for 2 school age kids is totally different than hiring someone as a full time nanny for a newborn and 2 older kids. Or is she sure they aren't planning to put the baby in day care? This could all be moot.

I think it's a good idea for you to keep emphasizing that a college degree will be helpful even if she wants to nanny. Our nanny has a degree, and I know others who had very top notch nannying jobs in major cities (mostly New York) after graduating from college. I don't think they would have gotten these jobs had they not been college graduates- at some level, people are more interested in the educational background than in many years of full time child care experience.

Our nanny is in her mid-30's and is a college graduate. We've talked a lot about what she wants to do going forward, and she is thinking about going back to get a masters in social work or counseling. I think she loves nannying in a lot of ways, but it's hard being in a job that can be so unstable, with few benefits, little to no opportunity for advancement. It seems like it would be hard for your daughter to find herself in that position some years from now, but without an undergraduate degree. She would basically be 4+ years from starting a different career. If she goes to college now, or soon, she can at least be in a position to retool by getting a professional certification or doing some post-graduate work rather than starting from scratch. She's lucky to have you and your husband willing to pay for her college now- she should not overlook that!

[Anonymous]

All of the posters who are basically advising OP to offer her daughter the choice of either going to college or getting kicked out of the house -- is that really what you mean? If your child doesn't go to college right after high school, you will kick your child out of the house and refuse to contribute to your child's college costs later?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's a waste of time and money (lots and lots of money) to force somebody to go to college when they don't want to be there.

I would let her be out on her own, nannying. Either things will go well, which is great, or she'll realize on her own that she really does need to go to college, which is also great. And it's not as though college were now or never. If she's always been very level-headed and made sound choices, you should trust her to do so now as well.

Maybe think of it as a gap year, if that would make you feel better?

I agree on the nannying for a year, fully supporting herself. Tell her you'll still pay for college after that year. (Or you can make it two years, so she has one to focus on applying, etc.)

It might be a win-win situation, because not only might she be eager to go to college, she'll be a better student than if you'd forced her to go right after high school. Do remember that she's an adult (or soon will be), and you need to do some degree of respecting her viewpoint, if you want her to respect yours.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody thinks the gap year will backfire? Nannies make good money compared to peers at 18-25. But their potential for advancement and higher salary dead ends.

At which point the OP's sensible, level-headed daughter will realize that she needs to go to college. This is also the experience of the nannies who have posted on this thread.

The barrier of going to college in your mid-20s just to get a bachelors is much harder to overcome than just doing it while you have the momentum at 18. I have a friend who got a job as a secretary right out of school making 40k when the rest of us were making 25k and she is still a secretary 20 years later.

I'm the earlier nanny poster. I actually did start college with my peers. I was unfocused and unmotivated, lost my scholarship, and screwed up my GPA. I have since transferred schools and changed majors. I agree that there is a slight loss of momentum, but now in my mid 20's I can really understand WHY I need to do this, how expensive it really is, and I will graduate this spring with a 4.0 (at my new school), very little debt, and enough in my savings to buy a home. I am looking at a pay-cut as a make the switch out of nannying, which is hard to swallow, but overall I'm in a much better position than most of my peers. They are up to their eye balls in student loans, have very little work experience, no savings, and they're making the same $30k I will be when I switch careers.

Again it's about management and decision making. I can think of 5 people right of the bat that are probably your age 24 to 30 with very little student loan debt, decent savings, have or are planning to buy a home in the future with salaries that are above your $30k and they have something you do not have 2 to 5 years on the job experience something that is very valuable in
today's job market. All work experience is not the same.

I said I will be making $30k when I get out of nannying. I make significantly more than that now. I also have 5 years of work experience, and while you might not value it, I've gained a lot of skills that take much longer to learn in an office. Your attitude is a bit offensive. This industry works very well for a lot of people, and not everyone defines success in the same manner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody thinks the gap year will backfire? Nannies make good money compared to peers at 18-25. But their potential for advancement and higher salary dead ends.

At which point the OP's sensible, level-headed daughter will realize that she needs to go to college. This is also the experience of the nannies who have posted on this thread.

The barrier of going to college in your mid-20s just to get a bachelors is much harder to overcome than just doing it while you have the momentum at 18. I have a friend who got a job as a secretary right out of school making 40k when the rest of us were making 25k and she is still a secretary 20 years later.

I'm the earlier nanny poster. I actually did start college with my peers. I was unfocused and unmotivated, lost my scholarship, and screwed up my GPA. I have since transferred schools and changed majors. I agree that there is a slight loss of momentum, but now in my mid 20's I can really understand WHY I need to do this, how expensive it really is, and I will graduate this spring with a 4.0 (at my new school), very little debt, and enough in my savings to buy a home. I am looking at a pay-cut as a make the switch out of nannying, which is hard to swallow, but overall I'm in a much better position than most of my peers. They are up to their eye balls in student loans, have very little work experience, no savings, and they're making the same $30k I will be when I switch careers.

Again it's about management and decision making. I can think of 5 people right of the bat that are probably your age 24 to 30 with very little student loan debt, decent savings, have or are planning to buy a home in the future with salaries that are above your $30k and they have something you do not have 2 to 5 years on the job experience something that is very valuable in
today's job market. All work experience is not the same.

I said I will be making $30k when I get out of nannying. I make significantly more than that now. I also have 5 years of work experience, and while you might not value it, I've gained a lot of skills that take much longer to learn in an office. Your attitude is a bit offensive. This industry works very well for a lot of people, and not everyone defines success in the same manner.

You can be offended all day young lady. I'm not here to appease the daydreams of an internet millenial who has it all figured out based on a degree she has yet to earn and a job she does not have.

I suspect these peers you think you are superior to are 3 of your friends with no direction or job / career planning skills.

You have 5 years work experience as a nanny. If you wanted to be a nanny that is great. There are day cares that do not credit nanny experience and that is an analogous field. Your 5 years as a nanny is not 5 years as a nurse, teacher, lab tech, dentist etc that those in your age bracket have of on the job experience. You are starting 5 years back. You can believe all you want employers don't notice this, but they do.
You are delusional if you think you are the only one in your age range who makes more than $30k and knows how to negotiate many make more than $30k.
Finish your degree, Land the job and then come back and tell how you have it all figured out and are far superior to your peers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of the posters who are basically advising OP to offer her daughter the choice of either going to college or getting kicked out of the house -- is that really what you mean? If your child doesn't go to college right after high school, you will kick your child out of the house and refuse to contribute to your child's college costs later?

Yes that is really want I mean you want to be an adult full time. Then you take that full time job and go be an adult. If you want money you go to school at least part time and work the rest of the time. No 30 year old couch specialists under my roof.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you can call a truce and convince her to consider it as a gap year. After a year of being a full-time nanny, she might be ready to consider other options.

Before she starts turning down acceptances, she needs to make sure she fully understands the employment agreement with the family. She needs a written contract that clearly states the hours, salary, and benefits.

I think this is reasonable.

[Anonymous]

"All of the posters" ~ yes, add me to that group.

Op, what are her college choices?
Why doesn't she want to go?

I don't think you should tell her what to study.

In our family, kids go to college - even if they want a blue-collar career.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

You can be offended all day young lady. I'm not here to appease the daydreams of an internet millenial who has it all figured out based on a degree she has yet to earn and a job she does not have.

I suspect these peers you think you are superior to are 3 of your friends with no direction or job / career planning skills.

You have 5 years work experience as a nanny. If you wanted to be a nanny that is great. There are day cares that do not credit nanny experience and that is an analogous field. Your 5 years as a nanny is not 5 years as a nurse, teacher, lab tech, dentist etc that those in your age bracket have of on the job experience. You are starting 5 years back. You can believe all you want employers don't notice this, but they do.
You are delusional if you think you are the only one in your age range who makes more than $30k and knows how to negotiate many make more than $30k.
Finish your degree, Land the job and then come back and tell how you have it all figured out and are far superior to your peers.

This thread is about OP's daughter, who is thinking about being a nanny next year instead of going to college. It is not about your opinions about education and the job market. So could you please stop making it be about your opinions about education and the job market?

[Anonymous]

I don't recommend pushing DD into college if she isn't sure she wants to go. If she were to go begrudgingly and drop out, it's a lot of money wasted.

I agree with PPs who suggested she support herself and do the nanny thing first to test the waters. The odds are good that she may get burnt out doing it (I did) and then the idea of going to college would seem like a breath of fresh air.