12-YO was irresponsible, will cost us thousands; appropriate consequence?

[Anonymous]

I vote for manual labor
Mowing the lawn is now part of their chore list
or add cooking once a week
Even if they caused a fire - get them back on the horse and keep up on adding responsibility to help them to grow.

You'll have to live with the ugly lawn, and boring food (although try to teach simple foods - ie roasted chicken)

A 12 year old is at a rough self -esteem age. They goofed up big, but they need to not quit and you need to continue to give them more responsibilities. As they age they aren't going to get more responsible if you don't give them responsibility.

I hate to say this twice - but get them back on the horse ASAP

[Anonymous]

Without knowing the situation(and I am not asking OP), I think your goal is to make your child understand how long it takes your family to save $7000. Even if you can afford it, and assuming the damage is not covered by insurance, I would implement a plan to make up that money with his help. Perhaps it's mowing your lawn or cleaning out the garage. Make a plan with him and lay out your expectations (no whining etc). With that said, everyone has accidents and makes mistakes,but how they handle those mistakes proves their maturity.

[Anonymous]

I think the son was playing ball in the house and broke a $7000 vase. Mom always said, don't play ball in the house.

Honestly, without facts it is hard to answer the question. The more foreseeable the consequences, the greater the penalty. If you asked him to turn off the water in you vacation home, he forgot and a pipe ruptured causing damage, I could see how a 12 year old would not have foreseen the possible damage and I would have a hard time holding him responsible. If, however, he was tossing a ball in the house and destroyed a piece of art, I would expect him to foresee those consequences and I would want him to re-pay the money, no matter how long it took.

So, in short. If you think he should have known better, then hit him hard. But I would not make something up, like we can't go on vacation if it is not true.

[Anonymous]

I am guessing that the OP has a collection of high end strollers and the DS forgot to close the stroller porch and they got stolen.

[Anonymous]

I think OPs son had friends over when he was not supposed too. Friends did something like cause a toilet to overflow, cleaned up the superficial damage, but then got the heck out of there. DS thought he wouldn't be caught, until mom saw an ominous looking, spongy circle on the ceiling sometime later.

New ceiling, new drywall, mold abatement, new toilet, new flooring...yeah 7k would about cover it all.

[Anonymous]

Have him write out an essay about exactly what he did, what problem it caused, why what he did/didn't do was a problem and what needs to happen now to fix the problem.

Cancel the trip, keep the camp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the son was playing ball in the house and broke a $7000 vase. Mom always said, don't play ball in the house.

Honestly, without facts it is hard to answer the question. The more foreseeable the consequences, the greater the penalty. If you asked him to turn off the water in you vacation home, he forgot and a pipe ruptured causing damage, I could see how a 12 year old would not have foreseen the possible damage and I would have a hard time holding him responsible. If, however, he was tossing a ball in the house and destroyed a piece of art, I would expect him to foresee those consequences and I would want him to re-pay the money, no matter how long it took.

So, in short. If you think he should have known better, then hit him hard. But I would not make something up, like we can't go on vacation if it is not true.

Wasn't this a Brady Bunch Episode? Or did the ball hit Marsha's nose?

[Anonymous]

OP won't tell us because she probably already told all her friends about it. She doesn't want them to know she posts on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP won't tell us because she probably already told all her friends about it. She doesn't want them to know she posts on DCUM.

I'm sure you're right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the son was playing ball in the house and broke a $7000 vase. Mom always said, don't play ball in the house.

Honestly, without facts it is hard to answer the question. The more foreseeable the consequences, the greater the penalty. If you asked him to turn off the water in you vacation home, he forgot and a pipe ruptured causing damage, I could see how a 12 year old would not have foreseen the possible damage and I would have a hard time holding him responsible. If, however, he was tossing a ball in the house and destroyed a piece of art, I would expect him to foresee those consequences and I would want him to re-pay the money, no matter how long it took.

So, in short. If you think he should have known better, then hit him hard. But I would not make something up, like we can't go on vacation if it is not true.

Wasn't this a Brady Bunch Episode? Or did the ball hit Marsha's nose?

I think that was a lamp? I think Greg threw a football that hit Marsha's nose. Ah, my misspent 70's youth.

[Anonymous]

Since this is worthless maybe he broke mom's breast implants by playing ball to close to her sun tanning area

[Anonymous]

He left the stable door open, and a $7,000 dollar horse got out and broke its leg stepping in a gopher hole and had to be put down.

[Anonymous]

Or, he had a $7,000 violin, and he put it on his chair during orchestra and then sat on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here is my stab at it:

OP's DH had an elaborate Valentines's day surprise planned.

There was going to be a surprise party...
There was going to be cake...
There was going to be a $7000 diamond ring hidden in the cake (the piece with the rose).

It was all arranged. The guests, the band, the venue.

But the damn kid lost the friggin ring before we it insured!!!

Omg this HAS to be it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am guessing that the OP has a collection of high end strollers and the DS forgot to close the stroller porch and they got stolen.

HAHAHAHAHAH!