Please share funny/terrible neighbor stories

[Anonymous]

We lived in an established, modest neighborhood (think 60s ranch houses) with lots of mature trees in everyone's yards. The old guy behind us would dump the leaves from his yard into our yard (over a 6 foot privacy fence). He'd also through branches that fell into our yard. One day, DH and I saw leaves/branches coming over the fence. DH got pissed and went over to his house. The old guy said the leaves/branches were from the tree in our backyard and he wasn't cleaning up after our tree. DH told him if he did it again, we'd be sending him the bill for yard cleanup. That stopped him from dumping the leaves in our yard but he started doing it to his new neighbors on the other side. Crazy old fuck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Years ago a lady knocked on our door, introduced herself as "the lady from around the corner with fourteen kids," and asked if she could have a beer.

This is sooo funny!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh, do I have a neighbor story. When I was 25 I lived with my now-husband in an apartment next to a 40-something year old couple with no kids. We couldn't hear a thing they did, but every single time they had sex (3-5 times per week) they'd come over, knock on the door, and apologize for how loud they were. Very graphically. Direct quote: "I'm so sorry you heard my passionate moaning tonight. Larry is such a gifted lover and we were trying out new positions utilizing furniture. When I put my foot on a chair and he entered from behind, I don't believe I could control my noises of pleasure. It really hit the spot! So if we were a bit disruptive, I hope you can forgive us."

Gross. Did they have some deep insecurities? Were you guys loud? I don't get who would do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, do I have a neighbor story. When I was 25 I lived with my now-husband in an apartment next to a 40-something year old couple with no kids. We couldn't hear a thing they did, but every single time they had sex (3-5 times per week) they'd come over, knock on the door, and apologize for how loud they were. Very graphically. Direct quote: "I'm so sorry you heard my passionate moaning tonight. Larry is such a gifted lover and we were trying out new positions utilizing furniture. When I put my foot on a chair and he entered from behind, I don't believe I could control my noises of pleasure. It really hit the spot! So if we were a bit disruptive, I hope you can forgive us."

Gross. Did they have some deep insecurities? Were you guys loud? I don't get who would do that.

Looking for a foursome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, do I have a neighbor story. When I was 25 I lived with my now-husband in an apartment next to a 40-something year old couple with no kids. We couldn't hear a thing they did, but every single time they had sex (3-5 times per week) they'd come over, knock on the door, and apologize for how loud they were. Very graphically. Direct quote: "I'm so sorry you heard my passionate moaning tonight. Larry is such a gifted lover and we were trying out new positions utilizing furniture. When I put my foot on a chair and he entered from behind, I don't believe I could control my noises of pleasure. It really hit the spot! So if we were a bit disruptive, I hope you can forgive us."

Gross. Did they have some deep insecurities? Were you guys loud? I don't get who would do that.

Looking for a foursome.

Europeans?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New neighbors moved into the house and thought our shared fence was their fence and took it down because they wanted to see our 'pretty yard." We were away when this happened and they had the fence hauled away. We re-installed the fence with not a penny from them and about three months later they "accidentally" put a tiki torch to close to the fence, we think in an effort to burn it down. Because the fence was of pressure treated wood, it did not burn but did get large black scorch marks on "their" side of the fence. They have begged us to allow them to pay to replace that part of the fence or to paint it. We have said no, and they finally built a new section of fence along ours to block their burning efforts.

Ah...fence...I had an issue with one. The fence is on my property by about 6", according to the survey. My neighbor wanted a higher fence, so he bought PVC fencing segments, and attached it to the fence. It looked horrible. I tried to talk to him, but he insisted he was in the right, and he would not have to do that if my yard was nicer. Well, I called the fence police (code enforcement in the Town of Vienna), and he came out. My neighbor was surprised to find there are standards with fences, and he is not allowed to put a fence on my property. He found out that he had to post in the fence, not just tie it to my fence....

I gave him permission to post it in correctly, at the current fence line but the cost was too high to properly install it. So he took it down. My chain link fence continues to rust to this day. FWIW, my house is now a tear down, and we are probably moving this summer.

Man, you don't sound like much of a neighbor yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, do I have a neighbor story. When I was 25 I lived with my now-husband in an apartment next to a 40-something year old couple with no kids. We couldn't hear a thing they did, but every single time they had sex (3-5 times per week) they'd come over, knock on the door, and apologize for how loud they were. Very graphically. Direct quote: "I'm so sorry you heard my passionate moaning tonight. Larry is such a gifted lover and we were trying out new positions utilizing furniture. When I put my foot on a chair and he entered from behind, I don't believe I could control my noises of pleasure. It really hit the spot! So if we were a bit disruptive, I hope you can forgive us."

Gross. Did they have some deep insecurities? Were you guys loud? I don't get who would do that.

Looking for a foursome.

Europeans?

They certainly had some sort of exotic accent which I'd always asssumed was Polish, until I met a Polish person in real life and had doubts. They were characters. They pretty much never left the building (we only lived there three months) and only seemed to talk to each other and us. In retrospect I suppose somebody may have been mentally ill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We used to live in an end-unit townhouse. Neighbors on both sides of us were both a little strange.

Neighbors #1 to our right were a young mother and boyfriend whose dog used to always crap in our tiny front yard and they never picked it up. I talked to her about it but nothing changed. One day boyfriend was talking on his cell with the dog in our yard so I knocked on the window but he just ignored me and stood there talking while the dog did his business. Another day I saw him and went out and just went ballistic on him. He never did it again.

Neighbors #2 in a facing end unit were a nice older couple. The wife seemed lonely and used to wait for me to come home from a long day at work and greet me when I got out of the car to chat. She was a bit of a busybody and even though she didn’t really know Neighbors #1, decided they weren’t taking proper care of their outdoor cat, so took it to the vet herself without asking their permission.

Neighbors #1 sometimes sat on the steps between our end units and talk and make out. But our other Neighbors ( #2) insisted to us that Neighbors #1 were brother and sister and not a couple.

Was glad when we moved as I was starting to doubt my own sanity living between the two of them.

In a cold weather area, there is no such thing as an 'outdoor cat', unless you provide heated shelter. I would have done the same. An unvaccinated cat is not only bad for the cat, but it's horrible for the neighbors, given the rabies issues in this area. We took in an incontinent cat (due to injury) someone refused to take to the vet. If they had taken the cat to the vet within 24 hours of the obvious injury, a short course of steroids would have fixed the incontinence permanently. Instead, they unceremoniously threw her out to die. We set up a heated place for her in our garage, and she lived a good life with lots of love.

Too much cruelty and not enough kindness - people sometimes disgust me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New neighbors moved into the house and thought our shared fence was their fence and took it down because they wanted to see our 'pretty yard." We were away when this happened and they had the fence hauled away. We re-installed the fence with not a penny from them and about three months later they "accidentally" put a tiki torch to close to the fence, we think in an effort to burn it down. Because the fence was of pressure treated wood, it did not burn but did get large black scorch marks on "their" side of the fence. They have begged us to allow them to pay to replace that part of the fence or to paint it. We have said no, and they finally built a new section of fence along ours to block their burning efforts.

Ah...fence...I had an issue with one. The fence is on my property by about 6", according to the survey. My neighbor wanted a higher fence, so he bought PVC fencing segments, and attached it to the fence. It looked horrible. I tried to talk to him, but he insisted he was in the right, and he would not have to do that if my yard was nicer. Well, I called the fence police (code enforcement in the Town of Vienna), and he came out. My neighbor was surprised to find there are standards with fences, and he is not allowed to put a fence on my property. He found out that he had to post in the fence, not just tie it to my fence....

I gave him permission to post it in correctly, at the current fence line but the cost was too high to properly install it. So he took it down. My chain link fence continues to rust to this day. FWIW, my house is now a tear down, and we are probably moving this summer.

Man, you don't sound like much of a neighbor yourself.

Hint: Don't kick the bees nest. You just might get stung.

[Anonymous]

I posted before about the hot neighbor in our neighborhood. She is very bubbly. They are wealthy (she has a huge inheritance and investments no one knows about, I may have posted before). I think most people assume it is the husband's money (he has a little, but nothing compared to her).

Anyway, the dowdy neighbors on the street decided they did not want her around. Their husbands would always say how put together she is, what a good mother, you get the idea. This did not bode well for the nasty moms. They kind of banded together to poke at the woman. She didn't really seem to mind, she has a "step over them" mentality that has gotten her where she is. And she is kind IRL, if you know her.

I would want her on my side. I think they took her kindness the wrong way, but she is as brilliant as she is kind.

I consider here a good friend and look to emulate her: nice, educated, successful, great (engaged) mom with great kids, nice house, etc. I think the other moms just couldn't take it anymore, and felt it was too close to home for them. She is cute too, so that did not help the nasty brigade.

Whenever I see catty moms, I think of her and how kind she is, and how it has gotten her where she is. She doesn't pay any mind to negative, and she puts a lot of stock in karma.

For every 1,000 nasty women, there is one like my friend. She is truly an inspiration.

Maybe this should be on the the nice neighbors thread, but I thought it applies to both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I posted before about the hot neighbor in our neighborhood. She is very bubbly. They are wealthy (she has a huge inheritance and investments no one knows about, I may have posted before). I think most people assume it is the husband's money (he has a little, but nothing compared to her).

Anyway, the dowdy neighbors on the street decided they did not want her around. Their husbands would always say how put together she is, what a good mother, you get the idea. This did not bode well for the nasty moms. They kind of banded together to poke at the woman. She didn't really seem to mind, she has a "step over them" mentality that has gotten her where she is. And she is kind IRL, if you know her.

I would want her on my side. I think they took her kindness the wrong way, but she is as brilliant as she is kind.

I consider here a good friend and look to emulate her: nice, educated, successful, great (engaged) mom with great kids, nice house, etc. I think the other moms just couldn't take it anymore, and felt it was too close to home for them. She is cute too, so that did not help the nasty brigade.

Whenever I see catty moms, I think of her and how kind she is, and how it has gotten her where she is. She doesn't pay any mind to negative, and she puts a lot of stock in karma.

For every 1,000 nasty women, there is one like my friend. She is truly an inspiration.

Maybe this should be on the the nice neighbors thread, but I thought it applies to both.

Just to be clear, you think karma is the reason she has a huge inheritance and investment portfolio and is hot? I don't think karma works that way.

[Anonymous]

We had a fence put in 6 years ago and unlike all of our neighbors, we had a survey done before installing the fence. Our fence is set back several inches from the property line. New neighbors move in 3 years ago and decide our fence is on their property. Our survey stakes were still visible when they moved in.

At some point the cretins decide that our fence is on their property. We believe they took the plat drawing and tried to measure to our line. This is the method idiots use and is not an accurate way of determining property lines.

Sometime last spring while we were away, neighbor cut back the trees on our side of the fence and destroyed bushes and two evergreens. They ripped off a clematis vine and nocked over a garden arbor a foot away from the fence. They hacked everything on our side about two feet over our fence.

When we went to discuss with the neighbors, they denied doing anything but admitted they had scheduled their own survey. Someone had also pulled out all of our survey markers on that side of the fence. Their survey confirmed that we were correct.

They didn't apologize or offer any restitution. We didn't sue and regret it every day.
Assholes.

If you think your neighbors has a fence or garden beds on your property, don't do anything until you have a survey. We have regretted every day since not suing them. We bought expensive large trees that we had installed professionally and their work destroyed one that cost over 1k.

We realize our neighbors, to whom we had been very nice and welcoming, are rude assholes. Neither spouse nor I would spit at them if they were on fire.

[Anonymous]

My neighbor was convicted of arson several years ago. His house constantly smelled like burning, but he was so nice and held lovely monthly barbecues for the whole neighborhood so we suspected nothing. Sometimes he'd apologize jovially after a particularly bad afternoon of smoke-"Just trying out some new burger recipes! Sorry, I'm such a grill aficionado." Turns out he was making piles of books and furniture and burning it up in the yard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had a fence put in 6 years ago and unlike all of our neighbors, we had a survey done before installing the fence. Our fence is set back several inches from the property line. New neighbors move in 3 years ago and decide our fence is on their property. Our survey stakes were still visible when they moved in.

At some point the cretins decide that our fence is on their property. We believe they took the plat drawing and tried to measure to our line. This is the method idiots use and is not an accurate way of determining property lines.

Sometime last spring while we were away, neighbor cut back the trees on our side of the fence and destroyed bushes and two evergreens. They ripped off a clematis vine and nocked over a garden arbor a foot away from the fence. They hacked everything on our side about two feet over our fence.

When we went to discuss with the neighbors, they denied doing anything but admitted they had scheduled their own survey. Someone had also pulled out all of our survey markers on that side of the fence. Their survey confirmed that we were correct.

They didn't apologize or offer any restitution. We didn't sue and regret it every day.
Assholes.

If you think your neighbors has a fence or garden beds on your property, don't do anything until you have a survey. We have regretted every day since not suing them. We bought expensive large trees that we had installed professionally and their work destroyed one that cost over 1k.

We realize our neighbors, to whom we had been very nice and welcoming, are rude assholes. Neither spouse nor I would spit at them if they were on fire.

+1

Property lawyers are your friend. I would rake them over the coals. They asked for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I posted before about the hot neighbor in our neighborhood. She is very bubbly. They are wealthy (she has a huge inheritance and investments no one knows about, I may have posted before). I think most people assume it is the husband's money (he has a little, but nothing compared to her).

Anyway, the dowdy neighbors on the street decided they did not want her around. Their husbands would always say how put together she is, what a good mother, you get the idea. This did not bode well for the nasty moms. They kind of banded together to poke at the woman. She didn't really seem to mind, she has a "step over them" mentality that has gotten her where she is. And she is kind IRL, if you know her.

I would want her on my side. I think they took her kindness the wrong way, but she is as brilliant as she is kind.

I consider here a good friend and look to emulate her: nice, educated, successful, great (engaged) mom with great kids, nice house, etc. I think the other moms just couldn't take it anymore, and felt it was too close to home for them. She is cute too, so that did not help the nasty brigade.

Whenever I see catty moms, I think of her and how kind she is, and how it has gotten her where she is. She doesn't pay any mind to negative, and she puts a lot of stock in karma.

For every 1,000 nasty women, there is one like my friend. She is truly an inspiration.

Maybe this should be on the the nice neighbors thread, but I thought it applies to both.

Just to be clear, you think karma is the reason she has a huge inheritance and investment portfolio and is hot? I don't think karma works that way.

She is the nicest person I know, which counts for good karma coming her way; but does not account for her good fortune, as she and her family are very hard working.

I do believe hard work, and choosing your battles, pays off in the end.

I don't think she cares how you think karma works, frankly.