Please share funny/terrible neighbor stories
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Anonymous
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To help keep me from putting my speakers up against our shared wall and blasting NIN o something equally awful.
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Anonymous
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We had neighbors in an apartment building years ago that would complain about everything, including tv at a reasonable volume, walking on our wall-to-wall carpeted floors, etc. One day, we had a note taped to our wall about some "disgusting, animal like sex sounds coming from our apartment at 4 am," which, I assume, was from her. The funny thing was, our bedroom was on the opposite side of the apartment from our shared wall and we had not, in fact, had sex the night before, animal-like or otherwise.
Sadly, my husband threw the note away before I could scan it and post it to passiveaggressivenotes.com |
Anonymous
Oh, one follow-up. The woman got a beagle a few months after her harassing us, which is a notoriously loud breed of dog. We never complained, but man did I dislike that dog (but felt sorry for it too, since it had to live with such a terrible owner). |
Anonymous
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I had an elderly neighbor who used to wear the tiniest of speedos while washing his car in front of his house. He and his wife also used to dry their undergarments on a clothesline in their backyard. Of course, I could see into their yard when standing on my deck. He used to have fishnet underwear and all kinds of wild banana hammocks. It was so bizarre. His wife wore huge bloomers.
They were the nicest neighbors though. |
Anonymous
| I'm dying. These are great. Please keep sharing! |
Anonymous
I had an upstairs neighbor who would run the roomba at midnight. On weekdays.  I can't even tell you how angry it made me to be awakened out of a dead sleep by a roomba.
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Anonymous
| During a power outage my very drunk neighbor tried to come into our house. My husband let her in!!!! She came in and talked to both of us for a few minutes. Just when I was trying to figure out how to get her to leave the power came back on and she realized it was the wrong house. We never talked about it again with her. Don't have a lot of respect for her now. |
Anonymous
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We had a bunch of frat bro/investment banker types renting the townhouse beside ours when our kids were small. They would go out on weekend nights and close down the bar, then show up with ALLLL their friends at 2:30 AM to continue the party. They'd go out on the deck just outside our baby's room, drink, smoke pot, get into obnoxious yelling matches, and piss off the balcony into our yard. A couple of times I went over there and nicely asked them to keep it down since it was 3AM and our baby was sleeping, but it was no use. Finally, DH called the cops on them, and they threw their bags of pot into our yard. I was so tempted to steal it and keep it for myself, and I've never even smoked pot. It was just the principle of the thing.
In the neighborhood I grew up in, there was a guy would would stand stark naked in his front window with all the interior lights on to watch the sunrise every morning. If you were on your way to work or going for a jog, you got to see the show. |
Anonymous
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When I was a kid, we had a busybody neighbor who would call my mom and report on what we were doing in the yard, or even what we were doing in the house. One day she called and said my sister and I were jumping on the bed. We weren't-- we were sitting on the top bunk!
My mom was an attentive SAHM, but this neighbor seemed to think she needed parenting assistance. "Gladys Kravitz" had her own kids, but apparently would rather stalk us than pay attention to them. |
Anonymous
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I think I posted this story before. Several years ago, on the day I moved into a new apartment, I heard a commotion across the street. Two women were shouting at each other. A heavy woman was accusing a skinny woman of trying to steal her husband. The skinny woman said that she wasn't-- and that the husband wasn't worth stealing.
After much screaming and swearing from both, the skinny woman slapped the heavy one. The cops came and hauled the skinny woman off, while she was crying and yelling "Please don't arrest me in front of my babies!" Her kids (and several neighbors) had been watching the argument. As they were hauling her away, the heavy woman was hollering after her, "Don't worry! I'll take care of your kids until you get back!" And she did. In case you were wondering, that first day did set the tone for life in that neighborhood. I moved as soon as I could! |
Anonymous
| An elderly lady in our condo building yelled out of her window for me and my husband to stop playing basketball on the outdoor basketball net outside her window around 5pm because the bouncing ball was disturbing her dinner. |
Anonymous
| My previous co-worker used to tell me about neighbors of hers whom she could hear having sex almost every night, it was annoying, OK but whatever. She and her partner then went on this relenting tirade against these neighbors - it was just awful. They sent letters from lawyers about how they can't sleep and they need to insulate their condo better, put down rugs, get a new bed, etc. It was never ending. The neighbors responded by doing all of what was suggested to no avail, my old co-worker and her partner just never let up. The neighbors sent her a certified letter at one point saying, in essence, we've done everything you've ask us to do, you're crazy, and you're basically affecting our relationship with each other, knock it off. They didn't. The neighbors ultimately moved. It was the strangest thing to hear about this and not say, "WTH is the matter with you?? Enough!" But I didn't because we weren't friends, and she seemed rather litigious. |
Anonymous
| In former small condo bldg, dude finished a reno and left a toilet outside on the shared front lawn for two days. I was on condo board and approached him about his plans for having it hauled off and he began SCREAMING at me that I was a terrible person who didn't smile enough at him and said I was disrespecting him by calling him, wait for it, sir. freakin psycho. Am so glad to have awesome neighbors in our new 'hood! |
Anonymous
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I had some pretty annoying bro types living next door to me in my last house. One of them owned the house, so they were there to stay. They were nice, but just loud and kind of clueless/inconsiderate. One night I came home from a night out and they were having a seriously loud party. At 3:30 a.m. I finally went over there to ask them to please keep it down. They did turn the music down, but before I left I ended up doing Jaeger shots with them and hanging out for about an hour. I was in a wedding the next day and was so hungover that I thought I was going to barf.
One day I had a party and invited them. They told me, "If you get any noise complaints, just blame it on us. We get blamed for all the noise anyway." Which I thought was pretty nice. So they were kind of annoying, but in the way that little brothers are annoying. Another neighbor had a son who stole another neighbor's car and drove it INTO a third neighbor's house because he didn't know how to drive stick shift. The same family also had a fire that revealed they had a whole bunch of illegal immigrants living in their basement, and the same family had a dad who went to jail for dealing cocaine. I wasn't sorry to move out of that house. |
Anonymous
My upstairs neighbors are most likely mentally unwell. Here is a typical vacuuming schedule for them: 10:00 PM, start vacuuming for the day for approx 1 hr. 11:30 PM vacuuming again for about 30 minutes. 1:00 AM vacuuming again for an hour. These people are constantly vacuuming, very late at night and multiple times a week. |