on a romantic weekend... not going well

[Anonymous]

How can he be at the bar for 8 hours after class? Most bars close at midnight on weeknights at the latest. So his class finishes at 4pm, then he spends 8 hours at the bar until it closes, and comes home?

When I was in grad school (MBA) we all went out for a few drinks after class, to blow off steam and socialize. It was valuable from an educational perspective as well -- making connections and talking about class that day. There was no hot action going on -- just drinks and talking. Usually lasted a few hours if we got into big discussions. I (a guy) never thought to mention to DW how many of the women there were single or not -- some were, but I wasn't making a move on them. They knew I was married, and even if I wasn't, we'd be the subject of lots of rumors if two classmates were hooking up. No need for that.

You sound like you're trying to find a reason to be mad about it, when in reality you're jealous of his free time. First you say it's the women, then the cost of drinks, then the amount of time he spent. Which is it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm so glad that I married the woman I did. she gives me my space and trusts me And doesn't get bent out of shape when I go to happy hour and she doesn't need to because I'd never cheat. I have no desire to break my marriage up and end up with one of the many insecure women posting on these boards.

You don't have three small kids, do you?

What is considered small? I have a 9yr, 5, and 1yr old. we both go out and blow off steam, often separately. Together 17yrs. I've never cheated and I have female friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm so glad that I married the woman I did. she gives me my space and trusts me And doesn't get bent out of shape when I go to happy hour and she doesn't need to because I'd never cheat. I have no desire to break my marriage up and end up with one of the many insecure women posting on these boards.

You don't have three small kids, do you?

What is considered small? I have a 9yr, 5, and 1yr old. we both go out and blow off steam, often separately. Together 17yrs. I've never cheated and I have female friends.

Do you not tell your wife if you are going out for drinks with your friends every week? How would you feel if your wife were going out for drinks with her colleagues every week and not telling you about it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the father of 3 kids (ages 2, 4, and 6). DW and I both work full time and she travels out of town for 2 days every 2 weeks. Trust me, it’s not a vacation for me when she’s away but it’s not torture either. I’ve always been very involved with the parenting and when she’s gone, everything’s fine. It’s not like we need all hands on deck 24/7. We also make sure that we both have nights out with our friends. Why would anyone stop doing that? We only have a babysitter when we both go out. It’s all good.

I bet you'd be singing a different tune if she regularly went out of town for fun, left you with the kids, and neglected to tell you about the purpose of all those trips.

That's not even close to what OP is describing...but nice try!

Your situation isn't even close, either.

[Anonymous]

I was thinking the same thing. How is he out for 8 hours? I'm not following the logistics of this. OP says her DH is a professional so I'm assuming he is in night classes. If class wraps up at 9, how is he out until 5am? Do you live in Key West?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm so glad that I married the woman I did. she gives me my space and trusts me And doesn't get bent out of shape when I go to happy hour and she doesn't need to because I'd never cheat. I have no desire to break my marriage up and end up with one of the many insecure women posting on these boards.

You don't have three small kids, do you?

What is considered small? I have a 9yr, 5, and 1yr old. we both go out and blow off steam, often separately. Together 17yrs. I've never cheated and I have female friends.

Do you not tell your wife if you are going out for drinks with your friends every week? How would you feel if your wife were going out for drinks with her colleagues every week and not telling you about it?

Read again, page 2 the OP states:

He would say, we are grabbing a drink after class, and i was totally supportive. I went to a masters program and know well the networking and idea exchange that happens. So I assumed it was one or two drinks.

The first sentence of the OP is:
Found out DH has been spending significant extracurricular time with a bunch of younger, unmarried females (and a few guys) who are in a nighttime masters program.

Then the OP states that he is out for 6-8 hours after a NIGHTIME CLASS.

1. How is the DH out for 6-8 hrs after a nighttime class? This is a huge mystery to us all.
2. If the DH is coming home between 3AM-5AM in the morning, how is it that the OP JUST figured this out? Does her DH not live with her?
3. I bet that the OPs DH is going out the normal couple of hours and the OP all of a sudden is getting insecure and jealous of these "younger, unmarried females" which is the VERY FIRST thing she talks about and is now exaggerating the facts.

There are no lies going on, the OP knows her DH has been going out and has decided that she it too insecure for this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How can he be at the bar for 8 hours after class? Most bars close at midnight on weeknights at the latest. So his class finishes at 4pm, then he spends 8 hours at the bar until it closes, and comes home?

When I was in grad school (MBA) we all went out for a few drinks after class, to blow off steam and socialize. It was valuable from an educational perspective as well -- making connections and talking about class that day. There was no hot action going on -- just drinks and talking. Usually lasted a few hours if we got into big discussions. I (a guy) never thought to mention to DW how many of the women there were single or not -- some were, but I wasn't making a move on them. They knew I was married, and even if I wasn't, we'd be the subject of lots of rumors if two classmates were hooking up. No need for that.

You sound like you're trying to find a reason to be mad about it, when in reality you're jealous of his free time. First you say it's the women, then the cost of drinks, then the amount of time he spent. Which is it?

OP stated that her DH is in a nighttime masters program.

OP is a liar or twisting the facts to get the responses she seeks to validate her own insecurities.

[Anonymous]

In reading all of OP's posts, It sounds like she was on board with the program but then got a bit insecure and jealous of his "free" time.

[Anonymous]

So all of you really think it's okay the OP's DH spends 6-8 hours doing this stuff, each week, without her knowledge?
I have zero issues with my DH going out after work; he gives me my free time, too. But what is this guy doing for that length of time (6-8 hrs!) each week? And the fact that he has been secretive about it...I would suspect an affair or an alcohol problem. But of course I don't know OP's DH, and maybr she really has no reason to worry about something like that. If he really just needed to blow off some steam then it's an easy solution - they trade off nights out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So all of you really think it's okay the OP's DH spends 6-8 hours doing this stuff, each week, without her knowledge?
I have zero issues with my DH going out after work; he gives me my free time, too. But what is this guy doing for that length of time (6-8 hrs!) each week? And the fact that he has been secretive about it...I would suspect an affair or an alcohol problem. But of course I don't know OP's DH, and maybr she really has no reason to worry about something like that. If he really just needed to blow off some steam then it's an easy solution - they trade off nights out.

Go back and read the thread. Her stories don't line up. At first she has no clue about going out drinking. Then she says she knows he was out.

[Anonymous]

It's amazing that people who make bullshit up on the internet can't even keep their dumas stories straight and then even bigger dumbasses come along and eat the inconsistent stories on up.

[Anonymous]

Op, you married a fun guy.

Sometimes fun guys have a little too much fun - but in this case it was not a betrayal.

I vote. Get over it.

With your salaries you ought to be able to afford some babysitting. Go out and have fun with him. Meet-up with the student group and participate a little in that aspect of his life.

[Anonymous]

It's an interesting discussion regardless. My husband did a very similar thing, but one single girl had his cell phone and texted him 12000 times over 9 months, which was a little intrusive......And i discovered he was trashing me and our private life for everyone's entertainment. It rocked my world, it triggered my insecurities, and it hurt. So just because the OP is a moron, doesn't mean this thread doesn't provide insight. She's not the only women who's been lied to!!!!! I also got the impression that on drinking nights, there wasn't even class. Get off work at 4-5 stay until M.N.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you sound very high maintenance and jealous. Something tells me that after your romantic weekend, he will need to get away from you even more. He probably didn't tell you upfront because he knew your reaction...which is very selfish on your part because every parent needs some "me time" even when you have 3 kids. I suggest that you find some friends of your own and hang out with them...and no, it doesn't have to include single men so you can get back at him.

Also, your looks, sexiness, etc. have nothing to do with this so I don't know why you chose to mention it after your first post.

OMFG. Is this my ex-husband??
OP please disregard this nonsense, it is coming from the point of view of a controlling douche bag who hates women. He is either divorced because of this attitude or he is about to be divorced - because his wife despises him, is sleeping with someone else and planning her escape.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't ruin your romantic getaway on this. Have sex. Enjoy him for him, have fun, then bring all this shit out later. Not on the getaway, because if he is even remotely finding fault with you in his head, you're solidifying it now. This is a romantic getaway, act like it!

NP- I can't have sex when I'm furious

Oh but you should. It's great.