Am I Being Unreasonable? Annoyed with MIL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This post makes me fearful of having a DIL someday. So many land mines that would never in a million years occur to me. Be gracious, say thank you, and hang the ornaments.

Well, you could ask before spending your time or money on something that duplicates or preempt a something your DIlL wants to do. Would that be so hard?

Not a bad point, but absent mind reading how does one know what "duplicates or preempts something DIL wants to do." For example, I (not PP) had NO IDEA that "First Christmas Tree Ornaments" were a Thing. And now that I know I still don't get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This post makes me fearful of having a DIL someday. So many land mines that would never in a million years occur to me. Be gracious, say thank you, and hang the ornaments.

Well, you could ask before spending your time or money on something that duplicates or preempt a something your DIlL wants to do. Would that be so hard?

Not a bad point, but absent mind reading how does one know what "duplicates or preempts something DIL wants to do." For example, I (not PP) had NO IDEA that "First Christmas Tree Ornaments" were a Thing. And now that I know I still don't get it.

Assume that if its a "first" anything, you should ask.

[Anonymous]

My point was, I never heard of a First Ornament.

[Anonymous]

I think you're right. Might be where the disconnect is. DH and I spent quite a bit of time picking out our kids' first ornaments. I feel like it makes them less special to have a second version with the year and their names and a horrible picture. If my kid has an ornament for them each year, I want it to be something that my DH and I pick out and something that is well done. It's something I enjoy and have looked forward to doing for my kids.

My MIL does not read minds so she has no idea that I was annoyed. And my DH agrees with me and is also annoyed!

If your husband invests "quite a bit of time picking out our kids' first ornaments" and is annoyed with his mother for making similar -- but not nearly as nice! -- ornaments, he is the tool of the century.

This isn't even first world problems. This is people so full of themselves that they can't accept a simple token from a close relative without seeing it as a threat and a violation of some absurd (no doubt Pinterest-induced) standard of crafty cutesiness. OP, you better thank your lucky stars that the biggest problem you have this holiday season is an inferior ornament. That kind of ingratitude sounds like an invitation to some seriously bad karma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, OP, you win the shrew-of-the-day award on DCUM, and that's no small achievement. Can you not appreciate the fact that you have united 99 percent of DCUM-land against your position, a fairly unusual feat, and reassess why you feel such umbrage over your MIL's imperfect ornaments?

Poor husband, poor family. They all have to deal with OP.

I have been a model DIL. My MIL does not read minds so she has no idea that I was annoyed. And my DH agrees with me and is also annoyed!

2 peas in a pod! Poor MIL and kids.

So you've only thought wonderful thoughts about every one of your MIL's actions?

I recongize that my MIL comes from a good place and loves my children unconditionally and that I can either give her the benefit of the doubt or not. And giving her the benefit of the doubt goes a long way to a harmonious and happy relationship.

[Anonymous]

First ornaments are NOT a thing. They're just not .

[Anonymous]

OP, my MIL made ornaments for us when we were first married. We accepted graciously and still have them. They live at the bottom of our ornament holder, which is jam packed. By the time we get 3/4 way down in the holder the tree is full. Oh well, couldn't fit her ornaments on.

She doesn't know we don't use them so maybe a different situation than yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First ornaments are NOT a thing. They're just not .

+ 1,000. Some people have waay too much free time on their hands to worry about this nonsense.

[Anonymous]

DD receive 5 "My First Christmas" ornaments from friends and family. None from DH and me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I think you're right. Might be where the disconnect is. DH and I spent quite a bit of time picking out our kids' first ornaments. I feel like it makes them less special to have a second version with the year and their names and a horrible picture. If my kid has an ornament for them each year, I want it to be something that my DH and I pick out and something that is well done. It's something I enjoy and have looked forward to doing for my kids.

My MIL does not read minds so she has no idea that I was annoyed. And my DH agrees with me and is also annoyed!

If your husband invests "quite a bit of time picking out our kids' first ornaments" and is annoyed with his mother for making similar -- but not nearly as nice! -- ornaments, he is the tool of the century.

This isn't even first world problems. This is people so full of themselves that they can't accept a simple token from a close relative without seeing it as a threat and a violation of some absurd (no doubt Pinterest-induced) standard of crafty cutesiness. OP, you better thank your lucky stars that the biggest problem you have this holiday season is an inferior ornament. That kind of ingratitude sounds like an invitation to some seriously bad karma.

And if you can get so riled up over something you see as trivial, you have too much time on YOUR hands! If you've never been annoyed at something trivial, then congrats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First ornaments are NOT a thing. They're just not .

You've never seen a baby's first ornament?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, OP, you win the shrew-of-the-day award on DCUM, and that's no small achievement. Can you not appreciate the fact that you have united 99 percent of DCUM-land against your position, a fairly unusual feat, and reassess why you feel such umbrage over your MIL's imperfect ornaments?

Poor husband, poor family. They all have to deal with OP.

I have been a model DIL. My MIL does not read minds so she has no idea that I was annoyed. And my DH agrees with me and is also annoyed!

2 peas in a pod! Poor MIL and kids.

So you've only thought wonderful thoughts about every one of your MIL's actions?

I recongize that my MIL comes from a good place and loves my children unconditionally and that I can either give her the benefit of the doubt or not. And giving her the benefit of the doubt goes a long way to a harmonious and happy relationship.

I also think my MIL comes from a good place. And yet, she can still annoy me. Our relationship is fine. She has no idea that I am annoyed. But if it makes you feel better, to call me a bad DIL and talk about how perfect you are, then I'm glad to give you the chance. Merry Christmas.

[Anonymous]

OP. Your post hurts my heart. My MIL has been dead for 5 years, and I still cry every Christmas remembering how much effort she put into DD and DS, along with her other 10 grandchildren. I miss her so much.

Believe me, one day you will cherish these ornaments. Or not. Because you don't accept them with the love they are offered.

[Anonymous]

As a perfectionist, I would hate such a gift. However I would thank her and not use them, unless she came to visit and were the kind to seek out her gifts. In that case I would display her ornaments by themselves somewhere (on a holly branch in a vase or something) just for her benefit. But not in my tree laden with esthetically-pleasing ornaments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP. Your post hurts my heart. My MIL has been dead for 5 years, and I still cry every Christmas remembering how much effort she put into DD and DS, along with her other 10 grandchildren. I miss her so much.

Believe me, one day you will cherish these ornaments. Or not. Because you don't accept them with the love they are offered.

I don't know that this is the case with OP, but people should recognize that not all gifts are given with a generous and loving spirit. Sometimes it is more about the giver.