Am I Being Unreasonable? Annoyed with MIL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the OP. I would love to have ornaments that my kids make. I don't want store bought ornaments that my MIL couldn't bother to even crop correctly. Would you really want an ornament with half of your son's face on it??

And yes, the PP is correct. I have let my MIL be a part of every single thing, including the birth of my second child. We need to set boundaries. Some things are for the parents to do - like create first Christmas ornaments.

Whatever. Seriously, you created the first Christmas ornaments. She created other ornaments. You don't like her, and you don't like the ornaments. Don't make this about anything else. This isn't about boundaries, this is about you not liking your MIL or her gift.

Do you know the OP? Oh, no? You just read a few posts on one topic on the internet. okaaaaaaaaaay.

[Anonymous]

Wow, OP, you win the shrew-of-the-day award on DCUM, and that's no small achievement. Can you not appreciate the fact that you have united 99 percent of DCUM-land against your position, a fairly unusual feat, and reassess why you feel such umbrage over your MIL's imperfect ornaments?

[Anonymous]

I think most of here do not consider making Christmas ornaments a mother's prerogative, but OP does. We all have our little things, e.g. if my MIL or mom gave my DC a first haircut without my permission, I would be livid, but my cousin did not bat an eye when it happened. She, on the other hand, was pissed when her MIL cooked non-breakfast food for breakfast (WTH, right?).
Anyways, OP, you might just tell your MIL that the experience of making ornaments is deeply special for you, and although you like these ones, you'd prefer something else next time.

[Anonymous]

I really don't get the antagonism against OP here. It sounds like she's acted well, but felt annoyed. I think we've all done things like that in the past. She's just asking for advice on an anonymous message board.

FWIW, i've had to things like this that bothered me with my in-laws. It was generally a sign of something bigger, and not just a little annoying thing itself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, OP, you win the shrew-of-the-day award on DCUM, and that's no small achievement. Can you not appreciate the fact that you have united 99 percent of DCUM-land against your position, a fairly unusual feat, and reassess why you feel such umbrage over your MIL's imperfect ornaments?

Poor husband, poor family. They all have to deal with OP.

[Anonymous]

I can't believe that it is serious post. Really, if it will make your MIL happy to have her ornaments on your tree, then it should be no big deal. She'll be dead soon enough and then you can be petty and put the ornaments in the trash. Of course, karma is pretty relentless. The kids may remember those ornaments differently and wonder why they aren't on the tree.

And, of course, karma is waiting in the form of a future DIL who may not even want to celebrate Christmas with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really don't get the antagonism against OP here. It sounds like she's acted well, but felt annoyed. I think we've all done things like that in the past. She's just asking for advice on an anonymous message board.

FWIW, i've had to things like this that bothered me with my in-laws. It was generally a sign of something bigger, and not just a little annoying thing itself.

OP here. Thank you for understanding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really don't get the antagonism against OP here. It sounds like she's acted well, but felt annoyed. I think we've all done things like that in the past. She's just asking for advice on an anonymous message board.

FWIW, i've had to things like this that bothered me with my in-laws. It was generally a sign of something bigger, and not just a little annoying thing itself.

+1

This sounds like something that's the "last straw" from the mention of other boundary issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think most of here do not consider making Christmas ornaments a mother's prerogative, but OP does. We all have our little things, e.g. if my MIL or mom gave my DC a first haircut without my permission, I would be livid, but my cousin did not bat an eye when it happened. She, on the other hand, was pissed when her MIL cooked non-breakfast food for breakfast (WTH, right?).
Anyways, OP, you might just tell your MIL that the experience of making ornaments is deeply special for you, and although you like these ones, you'd prefer something else next time.

I think you're right. Might be where the disconnect is. DH and I spent quite a bit of time picking out our kids' first ornaments. I feel like it makes them less special to have a second version with the year and their names and a horrible picture. If my kid has an ornament for them each year, I want it to be something that my DH and I pick out and something that is well done. It's something I enjoy and have looked forward to doing for my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, OP, you win the shrew-of-the-day award on DCUM, and that's no small achievement. Can you not appreciate the fact that you have united 99 percent of DCUM-land against your position, a fairly unusual feat, and reassess why you feel such umbrage over your MIL's imperfect ornaments?

Poor husband, poor family. They all have to deal with OP.

I have been a model DIL. My MIL does not read minds so she has no idea that I was annoyed. And my DH agrees with me and is also annoyed!

[Anonymous]

"I think you're right. Might be where the disconnect is. DH and I spent quite a bit of time picking out our kids' first ornaments. I feel like it makes them less special to have a second version with the year and their names and a horrible picture. If my kid has an ornament for them each year, I want it to be something that my DH and I pick out and something that is well done. It's something I enjoy and have looked forward to doing for my kids. "


Oh, brother!

[Anonymous]

This post makes me fearful of having a DIL someday. So many land mines that would never in a million years occur to me. Be gracious, say thank you, and hang the ornaments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, OP, you win the shrew-of-the-day award on DCUM, and that's no small achievement. Can you not appreciate the fact that you have united 99 percent of DCUM-land against your position, a fairly unusual feat, and reassess why you feel such umbrage over your MIL's imperfect ornaments?

Poor husband, poor family. They all have to deal with OP.

I have been a model DIL. My MIL does not read minds so she has no idea that I was annoyed. And my DH agrees with me and is also annoyed!

2 peas in a pod! Poor MIL and kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, OP, you win the shrew-of-the-day award on DCUM, and that's no small achievement. Can you not appreciate the fact that you have united 99 percent of DCUM-land against your position, a fairly unusual feat, and reassess why you feel such umbrage over your MIL's imperfect ornaments?

Poor husband, poor family. They all have to deal with OP.

I have been a model DIL. My MIL does not read minds so she has no idea that I was annoyed. And my DH agrees with me and is also annoyed!

2 peas in a pod! Poor MIL and kids.

So you've only thought wonderful thoughts about every one of your MIL's actions?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This post makes me fearful of having a DIL someday. So many land mines that would never in a million years occur to me. Be gracious, say thank you, and hang the ornaments.

Well, you could ask before spending your time or money on something that duplicates or preempt a something your DIlL wants to do. Would that be so hard?