UVA Gang rape

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am stunned that the victim's friends were so cold and uncaring, despite her obvious distress and what sounds like visible injuries from being beaten. When I think back to my freshman year of college i can not imagine even one of my friends reacting that way, let alone a whole group of them. Telling her she should have enjoyed it? That she'll be "that girl" and ruin their chances at getting into a sorority or fraternity? I just can't wrap my brain around the fact that it wasn't just one crappy (personality disordered) friend who treated her this way, but several, according to the article. And that their own social status was the first thing they thought of upon seeing her immediately afterward in obvious physical and emotional distress. Unfathomable.

Not to mention that these seven men behaved so monstrously, as a pack. How is that possible? I always thought it would take a sociopath to rape, beat and torture a woman, but that these seven young men did this together is chilling.

[Anonymous]

It just takes one sociopath in a position of power over a bunch of insecure lemmings to pull off such a crime. So a frat is the perfect breeding ground for this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am stunned that the victim's friends were so cold and uncaring, despite her obvious distress and what sounds like visible injuries from being beaten. When I think back to my freshman year of college i can not imagine even one of my friends reacting that way, let alone a whole group of them. Telling her she should have enjoyed it? That she'll be "that girl" and ruin their chances at getting into a sorority or fraternity? I just can't wrap my brain around the fact that it wasn't just one crappy (personality disordered) friend who treated her this way, but several, according to the article. And that their own social status was the first thing they thought of upon seeing her immediately afterward in obvious physical and emotional distress. Unfathomable.

Not to mention that these seven men behaved so monstrously, as a pack. How is that possible? I always thought it would take a sociopath to rape, beat and torture a woman, but that these seven young men did this together is chilling.

Assuming it's true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me clarify: what exactly could they do without charges being filed?

They can (and probably did) the usual window dressing BS of PSAs, safety flyers and trainings, and media campaigns...but that wouldn't stop criminal thugs like the frathouse rapists.

You know what works? Filing criminal charges...not relying on internal (fake) disciplinary hearings at a university (which has a vested interest in making problems disappear). You have to call the police. Working through the university is just as dumb as complaining to the head priest when your kid is raped by another priest...stupid...involve the police if you want action to be taken.

Yeah, I don't understand why some people choose these options over criminal prosecution. These are crimes committed by criminals. They need to be put in jail and labeled as convicted sex offenders to protect others.

Because criminal prosecutions drag on for a long time and you face an uphill battle when your entire history is raked over the coals. What were you wearing? Were you drinking? Have you ever flirted with a man? Basically, we know you did something to deserve this, so let's pinpoint how exactly you asked for it. Are your attackers wealthy? B/C their attorney is going to destroy you and make you wish you pretended this never happened. You have no idea what it's like to be far from home, making new friends, and relying on a shaky support network when something like this happens. You have no idea how an attack, a violation of this magnitude just utterly destroys you from the inside out. How you blame yourself for something as simple as going to a party or straightening your hair or wearing an outfit that was flattering. You aren't thinking clearly and when the first people you come in contact with talk about how your fragile little world is going to be further destroyed and your reputation ruined, you aren't exactly running to the local police station to sign up for more devastation and the prospect of facing potential threats from the people who already killed a huge part of you -- your safety, your security, your faith in people. Then, when you're brave enough to report to the school, you're met with phony support and gentle urging not to push charges b/c "it's so hard to prove" but maybe you should consider pursuing this lesser avenue through the university to "make the bad guys pay." Only then, the administration holds all the cards and nothing really happens to the animals b/c for the administration, it's all about protecting the school reputation and the almighty dollar. Does that help you understand a little bit better? You have absolutely no idea what kind of inner turmoil, self-doubt, and overwhelming fear is triggered by this kind of attack, particularly when you likely have to face your attackers and their friends on campus and fear harassment and retaliation around every corner.

+1 and you want it to away and to never have happened, and you think you might be able to pretend it never happened and forget it. This is what you want and what everyone around you wants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am stunned that the victim's friends were so cold and uncaring, despite her obvious distress and what sounds like visible injuries from being beaten. When I think back to my freshman year of college i can not imagine even one of my friends reacting that way, let alone a whole group of them. Telling her she should have enjoyed it? That she'll be "that girl" and ruin their chances at getting into a sorority or fraternity? I just can't wrap my brain around the fact that it wasn't just one crappy (personality disordered) friend who treated her this way, but several, according to the article. And that their own social status was the first thing they thought of upon seeing her immediately afterward in obvious physical and emotional distress. Unfathomable.

17/18 year olds? Possibly from rural parts of VA? Sure, I can see them reacting this way if their life experience is limited and possibly formed by watching a Gossip Girl and that Greek show.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, you can and should teach your kids (both sons and daughters) common sense. Maybe it's because my dad is an attorney, but he and my mom started talking to us from a young age about safety issues, personal responsibility, etc. They also instilled a great deal of self esteem in us (my sisters and I), so we began HS realizing that just because a boy wants to hook up doesn't mean it's the best choice for you. Note: I'm not passing judgment on the UVA victim. Rather, I'm trying to dispel the myth that parents have zero control over their kids actions...because they do if they've taken the time to equip their kids to be strong and careful.

And I also grew up thinking that frat boys and sorority chicks are insecure losers who need to rent friends for four years in order to have a social life...and that's something I'll pass on to my kids.

Oh, and I'll definitely teach my kids to call the police AND me if something bad ever happens to them or their friends.

Well said. I hope my kids have nothing to do with it, ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am stunned that the victim's friends were so cold and uncaring, despite her obvious distress and what sounds like visible injuries from being beaten. When I think back to my freshman year of college i can not imagine even one of my friends reacting that way, let alone a whole group of them. Telling her she should have enjoyed it? That she'll be "that girl" and ruin their chances at getting into a sorority or fraternity? I just can't wrap my brain around the fact that it wasn't just one crappy (personality disordered) friend who treated her this way, but several, according to the article. And that their own social status was the first thing they thought of upon seeing her immediately afterward in obvious physical and emotional distress. Unfathomable.

17/18 year olds? Possibly from rural parts of VA? Sure, I can see them reacting this way if their life experience is limited and possibly formed by watching a Gossip Girl and that Greek show.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know I'm going to be majorly flamed for putting this out there, but why is everyone so absolutely certain that the allegations are true?

Yeah, I went to a college like this and had bad experiences like so many people, but this story...

I was the drunken girl who went upstairs at many frat parties and never experienced or even heard of anything that came close to this.

I was too, at a giant southern school, my boyfriend of 2 years was in a frat. He and I fell in love and he told me and showed me many things about how women were treated there that he was probably not supposed to share. The frat boys ranked the women that hung around the house. There was "girlfriend", then "little sisters", then "coke whores". He showed me the holes in the walls where the frat brothers would watch each other have sex. I never heard of a rape, but these guys were entitled druggie idiots who did not respect women and I would not rule out that it could happen. Including my then boyfriend and yes I was mistaken in getting involved with that place. I would never ever want my children to go anywhere near the greek system.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It just takes one sociopath in a position of power over a bunch of insecure lemmings to pull off such a crime. So a frat is the perfect breeding ground for this.

Exactly. No one wants to be uncool at the party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am stunned that the victim's friends were so cold and uncaring, despite her obvious distress and what sounds like visible injuries from being beaten. When I think back to my freshman year of college i can not imagine even one of my friends reacting that way, let alone a whole group of them. Telling her she should have enjoyed it? That she'll be "that girl" and ruin their chances at getting into a sorority or fraternity? I just can't wrap my brain around the fact that it wasn't just one crappy (personality disordered) friend who treated her this way, but several, according to the article. And that their own social status was the first thing they thought of upon seeing her immediately afterward in obvious physical and emotional distress. Unfathomable.

Many women I knew at college were raped. Dorm chat included these rapes - some girls/women were really hard - even heard negative remarks on lying since who wouldn't have enjoyed it with __ ? Some upperclass girls would even be jealous that __ or blank hooked up with that freshman. Nasty moments in halls and communal baths.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh, and I'll definitely teach my kids to call the police AND me if something bad ever happens to them or their friends.

Clearly you don't have teenagers, but apparently you don't remember being a teen either. What we teach our kids is not always what they learn. Do you think Hannah Graham's parents didn't teach her not to walk around alone at night? Do you think her friends' parents didn't teach them to call for help if their friend texts them to say she's lost at 1 am? Do you think this Rolling Stone girl's parents encouraged her to go to upperclassmen's rooms at drunken frat parties? And her friends' parents told then not to report crimes if they'll look uncool?

[Anonymous]

After the lacrosse bludgeoning murder of a coed in her dorm room, the abduction/murders in rediculously high violent crime rate Charlottesville and the UVA tradition of blind drunk goofball preppy dressing mixed with sexual violence and bullying a pattern has been established. This disturbing atmosphere explains the shocking lack of notable / influential UVA alumni. UVA appears to be treading water in a sea of retarded sexuality and delusionary fantasies of intellect. There are a lot of "Ted Knight in Caddyshack" goofballs terrified about prison right now.

[Anonymous]

I still find this hard to believe. I definitely think date-rape or he-said/she-said sexual assaults happen ALL the time on college campuses, which has more to do with how we communicate and how we abuse alcohol and how we raise our sons, but for 7 super over achievers to violently gang rape a student just is hard to believe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am stunned that the victim's friends were so cold and uncaring, despite her obvious distress and what sounds like visible injuries from being beaten. When I think back to my freshman year of college i can not imagine even one of my friends reacting that way, let alone a whole group of them. Telling her she should have enjoyed it? That she'll be "that girl" and ruin their chances at getting into a sorority or fraternity? I just can't wrap my brain around the fact that it wasn't just one crappy (personality disordered) friend who treated her this way, but several, according to the article. And that their own social status was the first thing they thought of upon seeing her immediately afterward in obvious physical and emotional distress. Unfathomable.

Not to mention that these seven men behaved so monstrously, as a pack. How is that possible? I always thought it would take a sociopath to rape, beat and torture a woman, but that these seven young men did this together is chilling.

Go read about the Stanford Prison Experiment. Go read about Abu Ghraib. Then get back to us.

Those people weren't sociopaths. They were just people who were in a social situation that gave them permission to abuse someone in a "lesser" position. So they did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She *could* be lying...but now that there's an investigation underway, she'll be quickly discredited if she made the whole thing up.

My two cents: something obviously happened that night and the school obviously has some sort of record of the victim contacting school personnel and discussing the matter...otherwise the school would have immediately come out to defend itself by saying this is the first they are hearing about this.

The school has suspended all fraternity activities for the rest of the term.