WWYD? DH cries over female colleague leaving for another job

[Anonymous]

Ok- when I got laid off from my job last spring, they basically had to drag me to my car kicking and screaming. I was a wreck for a LONG time. Got rehired, in a different building see my peeps all the time and life is good again. BUT, I am a cryer and everyone knows it.

My DH on the other hand is not. He pretty much shows nothing, he might express disappointment or sadness over something but that's about it.

Thatbeing said- If I found him crying in the basement over a female co worker leaving I would not be okay with it. I would be shocked and would probably have reacted very similarly. Maybe she had to leave. Maybe something inappropriate was going on and he's upset because it is going to come out. Who knows? I don't think it is normal to find your hubby crying alone in the basement over a co worker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok- when I got laid off from my job last spring, they basically had to drag me to my car kicking and screaming. I was a wreck for a LONG time. Got rehired, in a different building see my peeps all the time and life is good again. BUT, I am a cryer and everyone knows it.

My DH on the other hand is not. He pretty much shows nothing, he might express disappointment or sadness over something but that's about it.

Thatbeing said- If I found him crying in the basement over a female co worker leaving I would not be okay with it. I would be shocked and would probably have reacted very similarly. Maybe she had to leave. Maybe something inappropriate was going on and he's upset because it is going to come out. Who knows? I don't think it is normal to find your hubby crying alone in the basement over a co worker.

A PP here. It may not be "normal" but that does not mean he is screwing the lady and it does not mean that he is not worthy of sympathy. I mean think about it....you are saying that you would not be Ok with your DH expressing and being honest about his emotions. But this is also a situation where you have to know and be in tune with your DH. He told her it was about the co-worker. However knowing my DH if he acted like this and despite what he told me, I would KNOW that it is a culminnation of things and that he is overwhelmed somehow. (Shrugs)

[Anonymous]

OP, you know your DH better than any of us on this thread. If it sends warning bells, follow up on them. Trust your instinct.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok- when I got laid off from my job last spring, they basically had to drag me to my car kicking and screaming. I was a wreck for a LONG time. Got rehired, in a different building see my peeps all the time and life is good again. BUT, I am a cryer and everyone knows it.

My DH on the other hand is not. He pretty much shows nothing, he might express disappointment or sadness over something but that's about it.

Thatbeing said- If I found him crying in the basement over a female co worker leaving I would not be okay with it. I would be shocked and would probably have reacted very similarly. Maybe she had to leave. Maybe something inappropriate was going on and he's upset because it is going to come out. Who knows? I don't think it is normal to find your hubby crying alone in the basement over a co worker.

A PP here. It may not be "normal" but that does not mean he is screwing the lady and it does not mean that he is not worthy of sympathy. I mean think about it....you are saying that you would not be Ok with your DH expressing and being honest about his emotions. But this is also a situation where you have to know and be in tune with your DH. He told her it was about the co-worker. However knowing my DH if he acted like this and despite what he told me, I would KNOW that it is a culminnation of things and that he is overwhelmed somehow. (Shrugs)

Some women are easy to cheat on and you are probably one of them. I've seen women whose husbands give them all the signs and they still have their head in the sand. Op posted here obviously because she felt is was unusual. Go with your gut OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok- when I got laid off from my job last spring, they basically had to drag me to my car kicking and screaming. I was a wreck for a LONG time. Got rehired, in a different building see my peeps all the time and life is good again. BUT, I am a cryer and everyone knows it.

My DH on the other hand is not. He pretty much shows nothing, he might express disappointment or sadness over something but that's about it.

Thatbeing said- If I found him crying in the basement over a female co worker leaving I would not be okay with it. I would be shocked and would probably have reacted very similarly. Maybe she had to leave. Maybe something inappropriate was going on and he's upset because it is going to come out. Who knows? I don't think it is normal to find your hubby crying alone in the basement over a co worker.

A PP here. It may not be "normal" but that does not mean he is screwing the lady and it does not mean that he is not worthy of sympathy. I mean think about it....you are saying that you would not be Ok with your DH expressing and being honest about his emotions. But this is also a situation where you have to know and be in tune with your DH. He told her it was about the co-worker. However knowing my DH if he acted like this and despite what he told me, I would KNOW that it is a culminnation of things and that he is overwhelmed somehow. (Shrugs)

Some women are easy to cheat on and you are probably one of them. I've seen women whose husbands give them all the signs and they still have their head in the sand. Op posted here obviously because she felt is was unusual. Go with your gut OP.

I have been cheated on and when things were not adding up, I left. I did not play private detective or CSI and I did not wallow in insecurity. Let me put it this way - OP would have to be married to a VERY stupid man for her to catch him crying and for him to tell her that he was crying over the person he is cheating with. Cheating men are stupid but not even my DH was that dumb.

But if you are the type of woman who sees evertything as a sign of infidielity, then you are in for a life of unhappiness and suspicion. I chose not to live that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, think about this.

OP said her DH is an introvert and does not often express emotion. Yet, he does it and his DW dismisses him. So...normally he does not bother OP with his emotions. But when he does, she is not recpetive to it. Yet, she talks about all that she does...etc. He was emotional and OP is more worried about the person that he said he was emotional about. She could not be bothered to console him but now wonders what was/is up. This is an example of the number 1 reason that a lot of men are emotional robots. DW's OP shows emotion and what does it get him? Ridcule and suspicion. Rest assured, OP will not have to be bothered anymore with his emotional vulnerability because that turtle is spooked and is going back in its shell.

I saw my DH cry after his farewell party. He worked closely with 2 people (one M and one F) in a politically charged, hostile working environment. He was emotional becuase he felt disloyal and gulity for leaving them. Also, both of them were openly emotional about his leaving with the F crying on MY shoulder. OTOH, I was open to my DH's and he felt comfortable telling me of the emotional struggles he was having at work.

OMG, someone with a logical fully functional evolved brain.

Winner Winner chicken dinner! Bravo!

[Anonymous]

It is ENTIRELY BIZARRE for a grown man to be secretly boo-hooing over a co-worker leaving. I'm sorry but it is, not for the man showing emotions aspect but because for people to be that emotionally attached at work is strange and needy and creepy. People need to seriously stop with this whole work husband and work wife stuff, get your marriage sorted instead of getting close with co-workers, ick.