WWYD? DH cries over female colleague leaving for another job

[Anonymous]

I think it is odd. I understand getting emotional when someone is doing their goodbyes in the office or at a going away event. But sitting in the basement crying is odd behavior for a guy.

[Anonymous]

My DH cried when he left a job- he and his female co-worker and female boss. I was put off but DH cries easily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think there's some serious sock puppeting going on on this thread. There is no way there are 10+ different women who would all think this is not only normal, but that OP is an unsympathetic "bitch" who deserves this level of bizarre hostility and abuse. Something very weird is up with this thread.

OP, yes, it is strange. If you don't think it's an affair or that he just got sentimental after too many drinks, then my next best guess would be that it's maybe a hostile/unpleasant working environment and this pal made it better to get through the day. (And that your DH is a very, very sensitive dude.) But his reaction is still extreme. I trust my DH 100% but if I found him weeping in the basement about some woman leaving his office I would be really disconcerted. Pay no mind to the sock puppet on here, OP.

OP again.


Thanks PP you made me feel better.
I thought it was odd behavior as well. The more I think about it, my DH does not have a lot of close friends he interacts with on a daily basis. And yes, he and this woman worked closely together and commiserated about their mutual boss. It's a normal work environment with it's typical work politics and hectic days filled with meetings. I never thought about depression but may be it could be. Again, thanks for your input.

[Anonymous]

I find this odd and probably would have been put off as well.

He probably is stressed and drank too much and the emotions came out, lol!

But I would have reacted the same way OP.

[Anonymous]

IMO the reaction depends on context.

If he works in a stressful, cutthroat environment and he just lost his only ally then totally understandable.

If not, then at most I would suspect an emotional affair, but definitely not a physical affair.

[Anonymous]

It also depends on whether or not you can be his confidant. It sounds like you're a little cold and don't really want to put up with your DH's feelings regarding a stressful job. So he turned to his coworker and is now losing her. Maybe try to be more available emotionally and it will be better.

[Anonymous]

He cried once, after her final day? Cut him a little slack, reassess if he cries again.

[Anonymous]

I work for the county, and when my boss moved me to another clinic and I had to leave my male assistant (I am female), who I had been working with for the past 3 years, I cried in front of my husband, kids AND parents! He and I worked very well together and there was no affair - emotional or otherwise - going on. It happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish I was wasn't serious. My DH has worked with this female friend for over 5 years. They worked together at a previous employer but were not as close. He is the one that put her in touch with the right people at his current job and she was hired. They are peers; reported to the same boss and according to my DH "complemented each other professionally very well' his words not mine. Fast forward to Friday, it was her last day she's leaving for a new job. After the kids were in bed and asleep I go down to the basement and my DH is crying. Yes, crying. I ask him why he's crying and he says "honey my work bff left" "I'm gonna miss her" They are both VPs and he said that it's lonely at the top and now he no longer has a confidant/bff at work. I was speechless and said are you kidding? I asked, are crying because Robin left or are you crying because you have had too much to drink? He assured me it wasn't the alcohol, that he was really going to miss Robin and how much he enjoyed working with her and how they complement each other, blah blah. I was shocked and said, well I'll leave you to sulk in your own misery; I'm going to bed. I still haven't talked to him about it, but it's truly bothering me. I don't think he would cheat. I know he's traveled with Robin numerous times over the years and now I'm wondering if something is going on? If your partner cried over a colleague leaving, how would you react/feel?

This right here is what makes you a jerk.

[Anonymous]

NP here. I was once in a very stressful work environment with only one other colleague on an equal footing. When he told me he was leaving, I cried right in front of him. There was absolutely nothing sexual about the relationship. I'm sure my DH was surprised by the intensity of my emotion but he understood it, and he didn't criticize me for it.

[Anonymous]

You should offer him a sanitary napkin to cry in

[Anonymous]

I might cry when one of my coworkers retires - she's been my confidante and "work mom" for 6 years, and I'll be really sad not to have her around anymore.

He may also be stressed at the idea that a new person who comes in might not be on his side, and things might be more difficult for him politically than they are now. There might be stuff going on at work that you don't know about. (not cheating-related, just stuff he doesn't want to bore you with or stress you out over.)

[Anonymous]

"If you had the pleasure of enjoying Robin like I had, you'd be in tears too!"

[Anonymous]

OP, you don't sound like you have a career. I think you are completely disconnected from the realities of working for your money.

My boss of 6 years left this spring. I cried. I cried in front of him, my DH and my kids. I still meet up with him for lunch about once a week and hope to have the pleasure of working with hi again one day. Nothing sexual is going on.

OP, you just sound jealous.

[Anonymous]

I don't trust a man who cries over such a thing. Usually it's masking some huge moral failing, see also, John Boehner. Pull yourself together, man