to the father who failed to correct his daughter at the playground yesterday...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OP here. What are the playground rules? I geniunely want to know, because I can't figure out the justification for accusing a 23 MONTH OLD of "stealing" a random toy at the playground that no one else was playing with, then saying he deserved to be yelled at because he should've had the knowledge and foresight to check and make sure it was okay with the other kids??

What is WRONG with you people?

You're missing the point (and getting hysterical).

Kids do things that are developmentally appropriate. If a toddler takes a random toy from by someone's feet, that's developmentally appropriate. If a 4 year old yells "no!" at that child, that's developmentally appropriate. In the 4 year old's mind, she was saying, "these are my toys, don't take them." She didn't touch him. Touching/hitting is always grounds for parental intervention. Is that clearer?

OP here. I guess you missed the post 3 pages ago when I said that both kids were behaving developmentally appropriate. My gripe is not with the 4-year old. My gripe is with the father who did nothing to correct the 4-year old.

But the 4 year old didn't really do anything except tell your kid to bugger off when he stole the toy, which most of is think is fine. Then your kid hit. We don't understand your gripe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OP here. What are the playground rules? I geniunely want to know, because I can't figure out the justification for accusing a 23 MONTH OLD of "stealing" a random toy at the playground that no one else was playing with, then saying he deserved to be yelled at because he should've had the knowledge and foresight to check and make sure it was okay with the other kids??

What is WRONG with you people?

Nobody is saying that he deserved to be yelled at.

What people are saying is that it may have been completely appropriate for the father not to intervene when his daughter yelled at your son.

NP here. You didn't do a good job of reading the PPs.

[Anonymous]

OP, are you Chipotle Lady back from the netherworld?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OP here. What are the playground rules? I geniunely want to know, because I can't figure out the justification for accusing a 23 MONTH OLD of "stealing" a random toy at the playground that no one else was playing with, then saying he deserved to be yelled at because he should've had the knowledge and foresight to check and make sure it was okay with the other kids??

What is WRONG with you people?

You're missing the point (and getting hysterical).

Kids do things that are developmentally appropriate. If a toddler takes a random toy from by someone's feet, that's developmentally appropriate. If a 4 year old yells "no!" at that child, that's developmentally appropriate. In the 4 year old's mind, she was saying, "these are my toys, don't take them." She didn't touch him. Touching/hitting is always grounds for parental intervention. Is that clearer?

OP here. I guess you missed the post 3 pages ago when I said that both kids were behaving developmentally appropriate. My gripe is not with the 4-year old. My gripe is with the father who did nothing to correct the 4-year old.

Friend, I say this with the utmost sympathy. You have a long road ahead of you if this is the way you react to playground interactions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OP here. What are the playground rules? I geniunely want to know, because I can't figure out the justification for accusing a 23 MONTH OLD of "stealing" a random toy at the playground that no one else was playing with, then saying he deserved to be yelled at because he should've had the knowledge and foresight to check and make sure it was okay with the other kids??

What is WRONG with you people?

Nobody is saying that he deserved to be yelled at.

What people are saying is that it may have been completely appropriate for the father not to intervene when his daughter yelled at your son.

NP here. You didn't do a good job of reading the PPs.

There is a distinction between "it's understandable that the four-year-old yelled at him" and "he deserved to be yelled at".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OP here. What are the playground rules? I geniunely want to know, because I can't figure out the justification for accusing a 23 MONTH OLD of "stealing" a random toy at the playground that no one else was playing with, then saying he deserved to be yelled at because he should've had the knowledge and foresight to check and make sure it was okay with the other kids??

What is WRONG with you people?

Nothing wrong with any of the responses you are receiving.

DCUM is the land of helicopter parenting of other people's children.

The fact that the nearly universal response by DCUM says that you are way over reacting to this and that the dad parented in a perfectly correct way says a lot.

You really need to work on your reaction to things like this. You are completely over the top.

It says that there's a lot of rude, selfish, entitled parents teaching their children rude, selfish, entitled behaviors.

+1,000,000

[Anonymous]

Here's a tip you can use, OP. These "To the ____ who did ____ today" threads never go well. You just are starting off from a position where you look like a complainer. And you don't get a lot of sympathy when your kid hit someone on the playground.

[Anonymous]

honestly, op, kids who are 4-5 exhibit that kind of behavior all the time. my dd is at a coop so i am there a lot and all of her classmates, even the nicest most gentle ones, do this occasionally with the communal toys. at this age kids are working hard to use their words and to not hit, have a tantrum, etc. if the kid just said "nooo" loudly but didn't otherwise antagonize your toddler and your toddler did not cry or get very upset by this, i'd say it was a very good social interaction for the kids.

now i probably would have pulled my child away and demanded she apologize. but that's because my dd has a younger sibling and should know how to treat younger kids in a gentler manner. but i would not have gotten upset if an older kid had done this to my 3 year old ds and the parent had not apologized or otherwise intervened.

also, three year olds are old enough to stick up for themselves. in fact, i would venture to guess that my three year old ds would have said something like, "you're not being nice!" very loudly and stomped away.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I read correctly, your child tried to play with 4/5 yo's toys and when the kid didn't want to share, your child tried to hit the 4/5 yo. I have both a 3yo and 5yo. I would not have intervened in that situation. Your kid tried to hit my kid and you apologized. Not sure what you would have wanted me to do if I were the other parent.

My 3yo does not try to play with stranger's toys but it is WWII at our house because 3yo constantly tries to take 5yo's toys. I intervene all the time.

No, you didn't read correctly. Those toys did not belong to the 4/5 year old. A bunch of children were playing in a sandbox that contained several toys, and my child happened to reach for the toy nearest the 4/5 year old's feet. Suddenly, the 4/5 year scooped up the toy, then screamed, 'NO!!" in my toddler's face. The father did nothing. IF they were her toys, how would anybody have known that? They were all scattered about.

The point is, screaming in other people's faces in inappropriate, and that behavior should've been corrected.

[Anonymous]

Maybe the dad is a jerk. Or maybe there is more going on. The day after we found out that my husband has MS, my son was sort of obnoxious to a kid on the playground. I didn't say a word. If the same thing had happened months later, he would have been corrected. You just never know what is happening in another person's life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OP here. What are the playground rules? I geniunely want to know, because I can't figure out the justification for accusing a 23 MONTH OLD of "stealing" a random toy at the playground that no one else was playing with, then saying he deserved to be yelled at because he should've had the knowledge and foresight to check and make sure it was okay with the other kids??

What is WRONG with you people?

You're missing the point (and getting hysterical).

Kids do things that are developmentally appropriate. If a toddler takes a random toy from by someone's feet, that's developmentally appropriate. If a 4 year old yells "no!" at that child, that's developmentally appropriate. In the 4 year old's mind, she was saying, "these are my toys, don't take them." She didn't touch him. Touching/hitting is always grounds for parental intervention. Is that clearer?

OP here. I guess you missed the post 3 pages ago when I said that both kids were behaving developmentally appropriate. My gripe is not with the 4-year old. My gripe is with the father who did nothing to correct the 4-year old.

I don't think you're getting it. The point is that you and the other father differ as to what is correctable behavior. He may think anything short of violence is not correctable. You have much more inscrutable criteria. (Taking a toy = not correctable, taking a toy back and yelling = correctable). The point is that while some of us PPs might have intervened where this father did not, he's not so far out there that you should be outraged (even you think some "bad" age-appropriate behaviors are not worthy of correction).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:honestly, op, kids who are 4-5 exhibit that kind of behavior all the time. my dd is at a coop so i am there a lot and all of her classmates, even the nicest most gentle ones, do this occasionally with the communal toys. at this age kids are working hard to use their words and to not hit, have a tantrum, etc. if the kid just said "nooo" loudly but didn't otherwise antagonize your toddler and your toddler did not cry or get very upset by this, i'd say it was a very good social interaction for the kids.

now i probably would have pulled my child away and demanded she apologize. but that's because my dd has a younger sibling and should know how to treat younger kids in a gentler manner. but i would not have gotten upset if an older kid had done this to my 3 year old ds and the parent had not apologized or otherwise intervened.

also, three year olds are old enough to stick up for themselves. in fact, i would venture to guess that my three year old ds would have said something like, "you're not being nice!" very loudly and stomped away.

Thanks PP, but my child is barely 2. I suppose he was sticking up for himself when he hauled off and swiped at the little girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OP here. What are the playground rules? I geniunely want to know, because I can't figure out the justification for accusing a 23 MONTH OLD of "stealing" a random toy at the playground that no one else was playing with, then saying he deserved to be yelled at because he should've had the knowledge and foresight to check and make sure it was okay with the other kids??

What is WRONG with you people?

You're missing the point (and getting hysterical).

Kids do things that are developmentally appropriate. If a toddler takes a random toy from by someone's feet, that's developmentally appropriate. If a 4 year old yells "no!" at that child, that's developmentally appropriate. In the 4 year old's mind, she was saying, "these are my toys, don't take them." She didn't touch him. Touching/hitting is always grounds for parental intervention. Is that clearer?

OP here. I guess you missed the post 3 pages ago when I said that both kids were behaving developmentally appropriate. My gripe is not with the 4-year old. My gripe is with the father who did nothing to correct the 4-year old.

OMG, you aren't going to let this go, are you?

She thought the toddler took the toy from her. She yelled at him. I assume you think the father should have said "Mary, don't yell, you weren't playing with that!" Well a) maybe she was, and because he is a toddler he didn't know that or b) maybe she wasn't, and the dad wasn't micromanaging every instance of his 4 year old's existence, so he didn't know whether she was or not. What he knows is that she used words and he hit (again, normal for their ages).

Get over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OP here. What are the playground rules? I geniunely want to know, because I can't figure out the justification for accusing a 23 MONTH OLD of "stealing" a random toy at the playground that no one else was playing with, then saying he deserved to be yelled at because he should've had the knowledge and foresight to check and make sure it was okay with the other kids??

What is WRONG with you people?

You're missing the point (and getting hysterical).

Kids do things that are developmentally appropriate. If a toddler takes a random toy from by someone's feet, that's developmentally appropriate. If a 4 year old yells "no!" at that child, that's developmentally appropriate. In the 4 year old's mind, she was saying, "these are my toys, don't take them." She didn't touch him. Touching/hitting is always grounds for parental intervention. Is that clearer?

OP here. I guess you missed the post 3 pages ago when I said that both kids were behaving developmentally appropriate. My gripe is not with the 4-year old. My gripe is with the father who did nothing to correct the 4-year old.

OMG, you aren't going to let this go, are you?

She thought the toddler took the toy from her. She yelled at him. I assume you think the father should have said "Mary, don't yell, you weren't playing with that!" Well a) maybe she was, and because he is a toddler he didn't know that or b) maybe she wasn't, and the dad wasn't micromanaging every instance of his 4 year old's existence, so he didn't know whether she was or not. What he knows is that she used words and he hit (again, normal for their ages).

Get over it.

That comment was made 3 pages ago. Learn to keep up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:honestly, op, kids who are 4-5 exhibit that kind of behavior all the time. my dd is at a coop so i am there a lot and all of her classmates, even the nicest most gentle ones, do this occasionally with the communal toys. at this age kids are working hard to use their words and to not hit, have a tantrum, etc. if the kid just said "nooo" loudly but didn't otherwise antagonize your toddler and your toddler did not cry or get very upset by this, i'd say it was a very good social interaction for the kids.

now i probably would have pulled my child away and demanded she apologize. but that's because my dd has a younger sibling and should know how to treat younger kids in a gentler manner. but i would not have gotten upset if an older kid had done this to my 3 year old ds and the parent had not apologized or otherwise intervened.

also, three year olds are old enough to stick up for themselves. in fact, i would venture to guess that my three year old ds would have said something like, "you're not being nice!" very loudly and stomped away.

Thanks PP, but my child is barely 2. I suppose he was sticking up for himself when he hauled off and swiped at the little girl.

Yes, probably. Hopefully in another year or two, he will yell instead of hit. Or maybe he'll be advanced and speak politely, instead of yell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So your kid stole toys and then hit and HE's the bad parent? Your kid sounds absolutely awful.

My toddler was being a toddler. Just like that little girl was doing what was developmentally appropriate. But the father should have corrected her. I don't blame the child, I blame the father.

And toddler's don't "steal." What is wrong with you??

So, in other words, your toddler did take a toy from the little girl? Let's be clear about what happened. Toddler takes toy, child takes toy back and yells "no," toddler hits.

Also, you don't know how old the other child is. When my daughter was two - a toddler - she looked like she was four because she is so tall. Why is the OP wasting so much energy on this?