to the father who failed to correct his daughter at the playground yesterday...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Nor should the 4 year old be screaming in other children's faces. I'm teaching my kid not to hit. What is dad teaching his kid?

I don't expect a 4-year old to entertain my child, but they don't get a pass for screaming in my child's face.

Dad is teaching his child that he's not going to intervene in her every playground interaction with another child.

+10000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You get a medal OP and the other parent gets the firing squad. All parents should hover within 6 inches of their kids in the sandbox at al times - anyone who fails to observe this rule should be banished from the park forever. And no child should ever have to be confronted with another child hogging toys. Ever. It's a moral outrage! I'm proud of your service in haranguing random strangers on the internet about this shocking incident.

BTW, you don't live in LA do you? Are you the same parent who got in a shoving match with a 2yo about a toy bin?

No, I live right here in the DC metro area. I don't hover, but I'm keeping a watchful eye on my 2-year old, damn right. I suppose the next time I will turn a blind eye when he hauls off and hits other kids, because you know, children should learn to work this out for themselves.

Well, the other kid didn't hit anyone. Your kid took that toy "nearest her feet," which I'm guessing means the toy she was playing with at the time, and the kid yelled. Your kid was the one who hit. I really don't think that the decision not to intervene when no one is hitting or pushing or biting anyone else means that someone is a bad parent. Yelling isn't ideal, no, and I would probably talk to my kid about saying "no" in a calmer voice, but really, I'd have been on my kid not to take another kid's toys without asking.

Really? Babies and toddlers and preschoolers asking each other nicely if they could play with random toys scattered about in a crowded playground sandbox?

[Anonymous]

OP, you agree that battling over toys is normal and generally not to be interfered with. Obviously you think hitting is not okay, and most of us agree. Yelling is not as clear-cut, and perhaps that father was picking his battles with his child as well.

You sound like you don't get to the playground very often if this was a Dear Diary moment for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The toys were not community property at that moment. The child was playing with them first and had a right to finish playing with them before your child took them away. It isn't like your kid found unoccupied toys laying around. If I was the parent, I would have watched this interaction carefully, but not intervened at that moment. The girl was playing with the toys and told the other child that she wasn't done with them yet, maybe not in the most polite way, but not in a way that would make me intervene on a playground. Your child hit, so you had to intervene.

No, 4/5 year old was not playing with the toys. They were laying near her feet. You people don't read well.

I think it's more that people are trying to read between the lines. First you say that your toddler "tried to engage with" the four-year-old and the four-year-old "scooped up all the toys." Then it comes out that your toddler took a toy that was "the closest to the four-year-old's feet." The four-year-old was, it appears, not done with that toy. You say she wasn't playing with them; she (and her father) might disagree.

Look, it's quite possible that the four-year-old was unnecessarily loud in saying "no" and that her tone warranted a response. But I'm not sure I would have intervened immediately--the kid wasn't hitting, pushing, biting, pinching, or in any other way hurting or threatening to hurt the toddler. I might have waited to see how it was playing out before stepping in. I don't feel the need to micromanage my kid's every interaction on the playground. I might prefer to address the behavior later, rather than playing referee.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you agree that battling over toys is normal and generally not to be interfered with. Obviously you think hitting is not okay, and most of us agree. Yelling is not as clear-cut, and perhaps that father was picking his battles with his child as well.

You sound like you don't get to the playground very often if this was a Dear Diary moment for you.

OP here. Actually, I don't bring my toddler to the playground very often. So what you're saying is that these things happen all the time and therefore, does not warrant parental intervention? Interesting. I will remember that going forward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You get a medal OP and the other parent gets the firing squad. All parents should hover within 6 inches of their kids in the sandbox at al times - anyone who fails to observe this rule should be banished from the park forever. And no child should ever have to be confronted with another child hogging toys. Ever. It's a moral outrage! I'm proud of your service in haranguing random strangers on the internet about this shocking incident.

BTW, you don't live in LA do you? Are you the same parent who got in a shoving match with a 2yo about a toy bin?

No, I live right here in the DC metro area. I don't hover, but I'm keeping a watchful eye on my 2-year old, damn right. I suppose the next time I will turn a blind eye when he hauls off and hits other kids, because you know, children should learn to work this out for themselves.

Well, the other kid didn't hit anyone. Your kid took that toy "nearest her feet," which I'm guessing means the toy she was playing with at the time, and the kid yelled. Your kid was the one who hit. I really don't think that the decision not to intervene when no one is hitting or pushing or biting anyone else means that someone is a bad parent. Yelling isn't ideal, no, and I would probably talk to my kid about saying "no" in a calmer voice, but really, I'd have been on my kid not to take another kid's toys without asking.

Really? Babies and toddlers and preschoolers asking each other nicely if they could play with random toys scattered about in a crowded playground sandbox?

Like I said, I think at least some of us think that the little girl might have actually been playing with the toy (which is why it was the one nearest her feet in the sandbox).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dear OP,

Please make a note to self that you should reread this thread once your child is about 3 and a half.

Thanks,

Everyone else

+1

Let me guess, OP, this is your only child.

Agree with the PP who said it must be exhausting being you.

[Anonymous]

I long for the day when private property is essentially abolished in this country and when all land and wealth is shared. Only then will I feel that we are reaching our full potential as human beings. "This land is made for you and me," the song says. So many threads here are the epitome of middle class angst and misguided individualism. You'll figure out the playground rules.

[Anonymous]

OP, I understand what you mean. Lots of defensive parents here!

[Anonymous]

For all you know, the dad was pleased that his daughter stood up for herself without pushing or hitting.

That is my thought.

He probably took her out for ice cream afterwards and told her how proud he was of her that she used her words when the other kid stole her toys then hit her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear OP,

Please make a note to self that you should reread this thread once your child is about 3 and a half.

Thanks,

Everyone else

+1

Let me guess, OP, this is your only child.

Agree with the PP who said it must be exhausting being you.

Kind of judgmental there PPs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you agree that battling over toys is normal and generally not to be interfered with. Obviously you think hitting is not okay, and most of us agree. Yelling is not as clear-cut, and perhaps that father was picking his battles with his child as well.

You sound like you don't get to the playground very often if this was a Dear Diary moment for you.

OP here. Actually, I don't bring my toddler to the playground very often. So what you're saying is that these things happen all the time and therefore, does not warrant parental intervention? Interesting. I will remember that going forward.

I'm just saying you see all types at the playground; kids that play nicely and kids that don't. You embrace the former and try to avoid the latter, but it's not perfect when you're in a public space. A little tolerance goes a long way. Don't forget; your child HIT another kid at the playground. Yes, you corrected and removed him, but that still sucks for the other kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dear OP,

Please make a note to self that you should reread this thread once your child is about 3 and a half.

Thanks,

Everyone else

Hahahaha! This actually made me truly laugh out loud. Yes, please do OP. Bookmark it under your favorites list.

[Anonymous]

Dear OP,

When virtually everyone on DCUM agrees that you're wrong, you're wrong.

Sincerely,
Us

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dear OP,

Please make a note to self that you should reread this thread once your child is about 3 and a half.

Thanks,

Everyone else

So you mean when it's "My 4 year old was playing at the sandbox when another child came up, took the toys, and hit my child. The other parent just left, no apology or anything!"