to the father who failed to correct his daughter at the playground yesterday...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I read correctly, your child tried to play with 4/5 yo's toys and when the kid didn't want to share, your child tried to hit the 4/5 yo. I have both a 3yo and 5yo. I would not have intervened in that situation. Your kid tried to hit my kid and you apologized. Not sure what you would have wanted me to do if I were the other parent.

My 3yo does not try to play with stranger's toys but it is WWII at our house because 3yo constantly tries to take 5yo's toys. I intervene all the time.

No, you didn't read correctly. Those toys did not belong to the 4/5 year old. A bunch of children were playing in a sandbox that contained several toys, and my child happened to reach for the toy nearest the 4/5 year old's feet. Suddenly, the 4/5 year scooped up the toy, then screamed, 'NO!!" in my toddler's face. The father did nothing. IF they were her toys, how would anybody have known that? They were all scattered about.

The point is, screaming in other people's faces in inappropriate, and that behavior should've been corrected.

Man. It must be exhausting to be you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So your kid stole toys and then hit and HE's the bad parent? Your kid sounds absolutely awful.

My toddler was being a toddler. Just like that little girl was doing what was developmentally appropriate. But the father should have corrected her. I don't blame the child, I blame the father.

And toddler's don't "steal." What is wrong with you??

So, in other words, your toddler did take a toy from the little girl? Let's be clear about what happened. Toddler takes toy, child takes toy back and yells "no," toddler hits.

[Anonymous]

OP, so you like it when random adults take your keys and drive your car?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You get a medal OP and the other parent gets the firing squad. All parents should hover within 6 inches of their kids in the sandbox at al times - anyone who fails to observe this rule should be banished from the park forever. And no child should ever have to be confronted with another child hogging toys. Ever. It's a moral outrage! I'm proud of your service in haranguing random strangers on the internet about this shocking incident.

BTW, you don't live in LA do you? Are you the same parent who got in a shoving match with a 2yo about a toy bin?

No, I live right here in the DC metro area. I don't hover, but I'm keeping a watchful eye on my 2-year old, damn right. I suppose the next time I will turn a blind eye when he hauls off and hits other kids, because you know, children should learn to work this out for themselves.

[Anonymous]

The toys were not community property at that moment. The child was playing with them first and had a right to finish playing with them before your child took them away. It isn't like your kid found unoccupied toys laying around. If I was the parent, I would have watched this interaction carefully, but not intervened at that moment. The girl was playing with the toys and told the other child that she wasn't done with them yet, maybe not in the most polite way, but not in a way that would make me intervene on a playground. Your child hit, so you had to intervene.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

No, you didn't read correctly. Those toys did not belong to the 4/5 year old. A bunch of children were playing in a sandbox that contained several toys, and my child happened to reach for the toy nearest the 4/5 year old's feet. Suddenly, the 4/5 year scooped up the toy, then screamed, 'NO!!" in my toddler's face. The father did nothing. IF they were her toys, how would anybody have known that? They were all scattered about.

The point is, screaming in other people's faces in inappropriate, and that behavior should've been corrected.

So you say. I don't necessarily agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So your kid stole toys and then hit and HE's the bad parent? Your kid sounds absolutely awful.

My toddler was being a toddler. Just like that little girl was doing what was developmentally appropriate. But the father should have corrected her. I don't blame the child, I blame the father.

And toddler's don't "steal." What is wrong with you??

So, in other words, your toddler did take a toy from the little girl? Let's be clear about what happened. Toddler takes toy, child takes toy back and yells "no," toddler hits.

Fixed that for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I read correctly, your child tried to play with 4/5 yo's toys and when the kid didn't want to share, your child tried to hit the 4/5 yo. I have both a 3yo and 5yo. I would not have intervened in that situation. Your kid tried to hit my kid and you apologized. Not sure what you would have wanted me to do if I were the other parent.

My 3yo does not try to play with stranger's toys but it is WWII at our house because 3yo constantly tries to take 5yo's toys. I intervene all the time.

No, you didn't read correctly. Those toys did not belong to the 4/5 year old. A bunch of children were playing in a sandbox that contained several toys, and my child happened to reach for the toy nearest the 4/5 year old's feet. Suddenly, the 4/5 year scooped up the toy, then screamed, 'NO!!" in my toddler's face. The father did nothing. IF they were her toys, how would anybody have known that? They were all scattered about.

The point is, screaming in other people's faces in inappropriate, and that behavior should've been corrected.

I agree with PP. I have gotten my 4 year old to stop snatching toys from and swatting his little brother. Now he screams "No!" at him. It's not ideal, but it's better than hitting. We're working on the screaming, too, but I'm pleased he's using words instead of hands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The toys were not community property at that moment. The child was playing with them first and had a right to finish playing with them before your child took them away. It isn't like your kid found unoccupied toys laying around. If I was the parent, I would have watched this interaction carefully, but not intervened at that moment. The girl was playing with the toys and told the other child that she wasn't done with them yet, maybe not in the most polite way, but not in a way that would make me intervene on a playground. Your child hit, so you had to intervene.

No, 4/5 year old was not playing with the toys. They were laying near her feet. You people don't read well.

[Anonymous]

We don't know if they were her toys, but we do know they were not yours...

[Anonymous]

Dear OP,

Please make a note to self that you should reread this thread once your child is about 3 and a half.

Thanks,

Everyone else

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it was intentional and he wanted his daughter and your toddler to hash it out themselves. Not all issues with kids should be handled by adults, IMO.

AGREE!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You get a medal OP and the other parent gets the firing squad. All parents should hover within 6 inches of their kids in the sandbox at al times - anyone who fails to observe this rule should be banished from the park forever. And no child should ever have to be confronted with another child hogging toys. Ever. It's a moral outrage! I'm proud of your service in haranguing random strangers on the internet about this shocking incident.

BTW, you don't live in LA do you? Are you the same parent who got in a shoving match with a 2yo about a toy bin?

No, I live right here in the DC metro area. I don't hover, but I'm keeping a watchful eye on my 2-year old, damn right. I suppose the next time I will turn a blind eye when he hauls off and hits other kids, because you know, children should learn to work this out for themselves.

Well, the other kid didn't hit anyone. Your kid took that toy "nearest her feet," which I'm guessing means the toy she was playing with at the time, and the kid yelled. Your kid was the one who hit. I really don't think that the decision not to intervene when no one is hitting or pushing or biting anyone else means that someone is a bad parent. Yelling isn't ideal, no, and I would probably talk to my kid about saying "no" in a calmer voice, but really, I'd have been on my kid not to take another kid's toys without asking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Battle over toys at the playground among young children happens, and I suppose, is to be expected. However, I'm appalled that you sat there and did nothing when my toddler tried to engage with your 4/5 year old daughter, and her response was to scoop up all the toys and scream 'NOOOOO!' in my toddler's face.

Okay, I am the first 14:28 and here's a shorter version of my reply (assuming I am correct about "engaging" = "taking a toy the older child was playing with"):

"Battle over toys at the playground among young children happens, and I suppose, is to be expected, and not something I interfere with. However, I'm appalled that you sat there and did not interfere when my toddler took a toy from your 4/5 year old daughter, and her response was to respond in a way that would be considered similarly rude if an adult did it.

FTFY

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The toys were not community property at that moment. The child was playing with them first and had a right to finish playing with them before your child took them away. It isn't like your kid found unoccupied toys laying around. If I was the parent, I would have watched this interaction carefully, but not intervened at that moment. The girl was playing with the toys and told the other child that she wasn't done with them yet, maybe not in the most polite way, but not in a way that would make me intervene on a playground. Your child hit, so you had to intervene.

+1

I agree with all of this.

OP, when you're ready to stop being defensive, read this one again. You can watch your child carefully and judge when to intervene. Yelling at another child is rude but may not be worthy of intervention. Hitting, especially by a young child, warrants action by a parent.