to the father who failed to correct his daughter at the playground yesterday...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you agree that battling over toys is normal and generally not to be interfered with. Obviously you think hitting is not okay, and most of us agree. Yelling is not as clear-cut, and perhaps that father was picking his battles with his child as well.

You sound like you don't get to the playground very often if this was a Dear Diary moment for you.

OP here. Actually, I don't bring my toddler to the playground very often. So what you're saying is that these things happen all the time and therefore, does not warrant parental intervention? Interesting. I will remember that going forward.

Actually, you intervening when your child hit was perfectly appropriate.

The father not intervening when his child used words instead of actions when being attacked by another child? Also perfectly appropriate.

So you both parented in an appropriate way given the situation and the ages of the kids.

The only think truly inappropriate is your reaction to the father's appropriate parenting. That is the only part that is off base here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you agree that battling over toys is normal and generally not to be interfered with. Obviously you think hitting is not okay, and most of us agree. Yelling is not as clear-cut, and perhaps that father was picking his battles with his child as well.

You sound like you don't get to the playground very often if this was a Dear Diary moment for you.

OP here. Actually, I don't bring my toddler to the playground very often. So what you're saying is that these things happen all the time and therefore, does not warrant parental intervention? Interesting. I will remember that going forward.

Um, yeah, little kids sometimes act like little kids. I would intervene if: (1) my kid took something from another kid, (2) my kid pushed, hit, kicked, bit, etc. another kid (she has not, so far, but you never know), (3) my kid was in the way of older kids in a place where older kids have priority (like the older kids play structure) or (4) my kid was not paying attention and was in danger of injuring a smaller child (running around, etc.) I would expect other parents to do the same. I would not expect another parent to intervene because their kid didn't want to share with my kid. I would not intervene if a kid tried to take something from my kid and she refused to give it/took it back and said "no," unless there was something else going on.

And yeah, I might be irritated if someone failed to address their kid's behavioral issues (like the kid who kept throwing sand in the air and getting it in all the other kids' eyes) but I'm not going to let it ruin my day. I'll certainly step in to protect my kid from injury, but otherwise, I just figure it's a good example to use in teaching.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you agree that battling over toys is normal and generally not to be interfered with. Obviously you think hitting is not okay, and most of us agree. Yelling is not as clear-cut, and perhaps that father was picking his battles with his child as well.

You sound like you don't get to the playground very often if this was a Dear Diary moment for you.

OP here. Actually, I don't bring my toddler to the playground very often. So what you're saying is that these things happen all the time and therefore, does not warrant parental intervention? Interesting. I will remember that going forward.

Actually, you intervening when your child hit was perfectly appropriate.

The father not intervening when his child used words instead of actions when being attacked by another child? Also perfectly appropriate.

So you both parented in an appropriate way given the situation and the ages of the kids.

The only think truly inappropriate is your reaction to the father's appropriate parenting. That is the only part that is off base here.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I long for the day when private property is essentially abolished in this country and when all land and wealth is shared. Only then will I feel that we are reaching our full potential as human beings. "This land is made for you and me," the song says. So many threads here are the epitome of middle class angst and misguided individualism. You'll figure out the playground rules.[/quote]

OP here. What are the playground rules? I geniunely want to know, because I can't figure out the justification for accusing a 23 MONTH OLD of "stealing" a random toy at the playground that no one else was playing with, then saying he deserved to be yelled at because he should've had the knowledge and foresight to check and make sure it was okay with the other kids??

What is WRONG with you people?

[Anonymous]

OP here. What are the playground rules? I geniunely want to know, because I can't figure out the justification for accusing a 23 MONTH OLD of "stealing" a random toy at the playground that no one else was playing with, then saying he deserved to be yelled at because he should've had the knowledge and foresight to check and make sure it was okay with the other kids??

What is WRONG with you people?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I long for the day when private property is essentially abolished in this country and when all land and wealth is shared. Only then will I feel that we are reaching our full potential as human beings. "This land is made for you and me," the song says. So many threads here are the epitome of middle class angst and misguided individualism. You'll figure out the playground rules.[/quote]

OP here. What are the playground rules? I geniunely want to know, because I can't figure out the justification for accusing a 23 MONTH OLD of "stealing" a random toy at the playground that no one else was playing with, then saying he deserved to be yelled at because he should've had the knowledge and foresight to check and make sure it was okay with the other kids??

What is WRONG with you people?

Oh my. I advise just staying was from the playground.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I long for the day when private property is essentially abolished in this country and when all land and wealth is shared. Only then will I feel that we are reaching our full potential as human beings. "This land is made for you and me," the song says. So many threads here are the epitome of middle class angst and misguided individualism. You'll figure out the playground rules.[/quote]

OP here. What are the playground rules? I geniunely want to know, because I can't figure out the justification for accusing a 23 MONTH OLD of "stealing" a random toy at the playground that no one else was playing with, then saying he deserved to be yelled at because he should've had the knowledge and foresight to check and make sure it was okay with the other kids??

What is WRONG with you people?

Oh my. I advise just staying was from the playground.

In other words, you don't have an answer.

I will not stay away from the playground because my kid enjoys going. I just know not to intervene when he snatches toys from other kids and screams 'MINE' because according to DCUM, that is perfectly okay. The kids will work it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
OP here. What are the playground rules? I geniunely want to know, because I can't figure out the justification for accusing a 23 MONTH OLD of "stealing" a random toy at the playground that no one else was playing with, then saying he deserved to be yelled at because he should've had the knowledge and foresight to check and make sure it was okay with the other kids??

What is WRONG with you people?

You're missing the point (and getting hysterical).

Kids do things that are developmentally appropriate. If a toddler takes a random toy from by someone's feet, that's developmentally appropriate. If a 4 year old yells "no!" at that child, that's developmentally appropriate. In the 4 year old's mind, she was saying, "these are my toys, don't take them." She didn't touch him. Touching/hitting is always grounds for parental intervention. Is that clearer?

[Anonymous]

No, you didn't read correctly. Those toys did not belong to the 4/5 year old. A bunch of children were playing in a sandbox that contained several toys, and my child happened to reach for the toy nearest the 4/5 year old's feet. Suddenly, the 4/5 year scooped up the toy, then screamed, 'NO!!" in my toddler's face. The father did nothing. IF they were her toys, how would anybody have known that? They were all scattered about.

The point is, screaming in other people's faces in inappropriate, and that behavior should've been corrected.

Well, we weren't there. If my 4 year old son "screamed in" another kid's face, I would certainly correct him. If he said "no!" loudly when someone tried to take a toy he was playing with, even if his hand wasn't on it at that second, I would say nothing. So it really depends on the details of what occurred.

[Anonymous]

In other words, you don't have an answer.

I will not stay away from the playground because my kid enjoys going. I just know not to intervene when he snatches toys from other kids and screams 'MINE' because according to DCUM, that is perfectly okay. The kids will work it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
OP here. What are the playground rules? I geniunely want to know, because I can't figure out the justification for accusing a 23 MONTH OLD of "stealing" a random toy at the playground that no one else was playing with, then saying he deserved to be yelled at because he should've had the knowledge and foresight to check and make sure it was okay with the other kids??

What is WRONG with you people?

Nothing wrong with any of the responses you are receiving.

DCUM is the land of helicopter parenting of other people's children.

The fact that the nearly universal response by DCUM says that you are way over reacting to this and that the dad parented in a perfectly correct way says a lot.

You really need to work on your reaction to things like this. You are completely over the top.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OP here. What are the playground rules? I geniunely want to know, because I can't figure out the justification for accusing a 23 MONTH OLD of "stealing" a random toy at the playground that no one else was playing with, then saying he deserved to be yelled at because he should've had the knowledge and foresight to check and make sure it was okay with the other kids??

What is WRONG with you people?

You're missing the point (and getting hysterical).

Kids do things that are developmentally appropriate. If a toddler takes a random toy from by someone's feet, that's developmentally appropriate. If a 4 year old yells "no!" at that child, that's developmentally appropriate. In the 4 year old's mind, she was saying, "these are my toys, don't take them." She didn't touch him. Touching/hitting is always grounds for parental intervention. Is that clearer?

OP here. I guess you missed the post 3 pages ago when I said that both kids were behaving developmentally appropriate. My gripe is not with the 4-year old. My gripe is with the father who did nothing to correct the 4-year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
OP here. What are the playground rules? I geniunely want to know, because I can't figure out the justification for accusing a 23 MONTH OLD of "stealing" a random toy at the playground that no one else was playing with, then saying he deserved to be yelled at because he should've had the knowledge and foresight to check and make sure it was okay with the other kids??

What is WRONG with you people?

Nobody is saying that he deserved to be yelled at.

What people are saying is that it may have been completely appropriate for the father not to intervene when his daughter yelled at your son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OP here. What are the playground rules? I geniunely want to know, because I can't figure out the justification for accusing a 23 MONTH OLD of "stealing" a random toy at the playground that no one else was playing with, then saying he deserved to be yelled at because he should've had the knowledge and foresight to check and make sure it was okay with the other kids??

What is WRONG with you people?

Nothing wrong with any of the responses you are receiving.

DCUM is the land of helicopter parenting of other people's children.

The fact that the nearly universal response by DCUM says that you are way over reacting to this and that the dad parented in a perfectly correct way says a lot.

You really need to work on your reaction to things like this. You are completely over the top.

It says that there's a lot of rude, selfish, entitled parents teaching their children rude, selfish, entitled behaviors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OP here. What are the playground rules? I geniunely want to know, because I can't figure out the justification for accusing a 23 MONTH OLD of "stealing" a random toy at the playground that no one else was playing with, then saying he deserved to be yelled at because he should've had the knowledge and foresight to check and make sure it was okay with the other kids??

What is WRONG with you people?

You're missing the point (and getting hysterical).

Kids do things that are developmentally appropriate. If a toddler takes a random toy from by someone's feet, that's developmentally appropriate. If a 4 year old yells "no!" at that child, that's developmentally appropriate. In the 4 year old's mind, she was saying, "these are my toys, don't take them." She didn't touch him. Touching/hitting is always grounds for parental intervention. Is that clearer?

OP here. I guess you missed the post 3 pages ago when I said that both kids were behaving developmentally appropriate. My gripe is not with the 4-year old. My gripe is with the father who did nothing to correct the 4-year old.

But he should not have corrected her.

He should have complimented her for using her words instead of getting in a shoving match with your kid or hitting back.